Chapter 16

By: Zosocrowe

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Ocean: Till the End of Time

I have merely borrowed a couple characters to create

a silly fan story. I have no money either.

07/05

Albel was dreaming. That was the only explanation for why he was watching the ragged urchin boy from Tup'ni swing from one of the roping stations of the Nox stables--stables which were incidentally back in Kirlsa. Despite the clarity of the dream, Albel felt oddly calm. Usually his clearest dreams meant torment and memories, but for some reason he felt contented. Maybe all the torture had finally numbed his brain--not that he would mind; the less he felt, the better off he was anyway.

Sensing no malice, Albel leaned back against one of the giant granite pillars that marked the arch way which led from the stables to the manor. He tilted his face up to the late afternoon sun, amazed at how warm it felt against his face. He'd never had a dream be so realistic before. If it wasn't for his clothes--a loosely belted robe--and his bare feet, he'd almost think he was back home.

Home. He really had no home anymore. Not such as the one he was seeing right now. How long had it been since he'd set foot inside his manor? Weeks? Months? Years? He couldn't remember. He knew it was being cared for, as Woltar had seen to it after the…incident, but Albel hadn't given it a thought afterwards. He could never live in that place again.

Eyes shifting back to the boy, Albel watched the child playing amongst the bales of moldy hay, chasing the semi-wild barn cats that called the stables their home. The same boy that had led him to Zelpher back in Tup'ni; the one with eyes and hair like his own. "Kaine," Albel thought, but then shook his head. The child was too old by at least a year or two. Then again, he was no expert on the spirit world, and maybe it was possible for ghosts to manifest themselves as they saw fit.

Albel gave a harsh chuckle. As if he'd be so lucky. He could deal with being haunted by his dead son. Ghosts couldn't physically hurt anyone unless they were given the power to do so. Demons, on the other hand…his eyes narrowed at the boy. This was probably another one of Romero's tricks, but he was willing to play it through. He had no choice.

"I hate him worse than you."

Albel blinked at the boy, who was now standing on the highest hay bale and peering down at him. "What?" Albel asked, frowning.

The child sighed heavily and shook his shaggy head. The expression would've been comical coming from an ordinary boy. "You're really not too smart, are you?"

"Excuse me?" Albel said after his mouth had dropped open.

The boy made a show of shaking his head once more, then leaped from the top of the hay stack, landing effortlessly onto the ground. Albel blinked, then jumped when the child appeared in front of him suddenly. The boy scrutinized him for a moment, then frowned slightly. "Mama said I should be nice to you, since you're sensitive for a man. But I never expected you to be such a crybaby."

Instantly angry, Albel lashed out to cuff the child upside his head, but the boy ducked out of the way with uncanny speed. "Watch your mouth, brat," Albel snarled, baring his teeth.

The dark haired youth laughed. "See? You let your feelings take over before you can even think about them. You can never let anything go. You should learn to lighten up." He rocked back on his heels, regarding Albel. "Before it gets you killed."

As badly as he wanted to take another swing at he brat, Albel crossed his arms in front of him; he'd never be able to touch him anyway. "What do you know?" he growled.

Dark eyes narrowed back at him. "I know that the man before me is incredibly powerful of body, but a narcissistic whiner with delicate sensibilities that direct every ounce of his spirit. It's pretty pathetic. Not everything is about you, you know."

Albel gaped at the child, shock overriding his fury. "I should kill you," he finally whispered.

"But you won't. And you can't. Besides, you might be ruthless, but even you wouldn't harm an innocent child out of spite." The boy gave Albel a look full of confidence.

"But you're no child," Albel countered.

The child shrugged and there was a flash of sadness across his face. "I'll never be an adult either."

Albel shifted as unease turned into acid-like guilt. At a loss for words, he looked away, studying the misty horizon. For a moment, he almost believed he was staring at the boy his son would have become if he hadn't died; and that thought froze him more so than any of Romero's dirty tricks.

The seconds ticked between them for what seemed like hours. Finally Albel found his irritation and looked back down at the child. "What do you want from me?" he asked quietly. "I can't do anything for you."

The boy looked up, his small lips twisted into a frown. "Yes you can."

Albel arched a brow. "Oh? What then?" he asked before he could stop himself.

"Survive."

The word stuck him like gong and he stared wide-eyed at the small boy. He said the only thing that came to his mind, "Why?"

The boy smiled slightly, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Because it's the least you could do, and you owe me."

Albel's jaw clenched tight. Anger swirled instinctively, but it was tempered quickly by less welcome emotions. If this boy was his son, he did owe him. He owed him a debt so large that not even his life would be payment enough. Yet this child said he wanted him to survive. Why? What purpose would that prove?

"You're such an idiot," the boy said, his small brows drawing together. "You don't get it, do you?"

"Well, if you'd stop talking out your ass and tell me exactly what's going on, we wouldn't have a problem, would we?" Albel snapped, flexing his talons out of habit.

The boy gave Albel a glare. "You shouldn't talk to kids that way, dummy." He shook his head and sighed. "You never were a very good father," he muttered.

A chill raced up Albel's spine and he shivered. Eyes growing wide, he stared at the little child, his chest tightening. "I know that. I never wanted to be one," he said quietly, knowing it wasn't a credible excuse. But it was the truth. He had never wanted a family, aware he wouldn't be able to bear the dependence that came with one. And he'd been horribly right too.

"Well that's obvious," the boy replied. "But it doesn't change anything. Children don't ask to be born either, you know. Once you have one, your life belongs to them." The look he gave Albel was angry, almost terrifying. "But you've never given yourself to anyone. Not your friends, not your wife or son, not your mother or father. Nobody. You share nothing, not your pain or even your joy. You keep it all locked up inside until you can't tell what is what any more, then you pass it off as haughty arrogance. It's pathetic, disgusting, and selfish. And it's going to get you killed."

Each word hammered Albel like a mallet. Truth was always painful. He'd never given himself wholly to anyone; he'd never seen a reason to. Spreading himself about would give others ammunition against his weaknesses. But it had made his life…lonely. And bitter. "Why do you care?" Albel snapped.

"I don't, really. But as much as I dislike you, I hate him even more."

"Him?"

The boy wrapped his small arms around himself and shook. He stared at the ground, his matted, shaggy hair falling about his face. For a moment, Albel saw the true child peering out from that tiny body and was knifed by a stab of sorrow. "It's all his fault. He's worse than you. Far worse. If he isn't dealt with, he'll never leave us alone."

"What?" Albel said, feeling as if he'd swallow a stone. "Who won't leave you alone?" The boy raised his chin and the haunted look in his eyes was all the answer Albel needed.

He put a hand over his face and closed his eyes. Romero. This was all his fault. All of it. Even in death his family couldn't find peace. He hadn't known. He'd known Romero's reach was long, but he'd never imagined it could extend into death. All this time he'd thought their suffering had ended. All this time he'd been wrong.

A tug on his robe brought him away from the grief and remorse. He looked down to see the child staring up at him. There was confusion on the small face, a hint of anger, but it was the hope that was there that startled Albel the most. "You're sorry for the wrong reasons," the boy said, his voice miniscule. "I think it's time for you to see this."

Albel frowned, but watched as the boy waved his hand and the stable grounds disappeared. The world seemed to twist and warp into a collage of colors until they were standing outside his private study. Albel stiffened instantly, all the color draining from his face. He glanced at the boy, who stared intently at the massive oak door. "Why…why are we here?" Albel asked, failing as he tried to calm the tremor in his voice.

"Because you need to see with different eyes," came the reply.

The sound of feet pounding from the hall behind them made Albel turn and look. He leapt back, reaching for a sword that wasn't there, as Kasia rushed by them. In her arms was a small bundle wrapped tightly in a deep blue blanket. Her dress was torn, her face scratched, and her eyes were wild with fear. As she reached for the door, the sound of splintering glass could be heard from inside the room. The door was flung open and Kasia let go a hideous scream as she was jerked inside.

Albel stood, feet planted as if they'd grown roots. He was gasping for breath as he stared at the open door way. Heavy black smoke was beginning to pour from inside the study, making it impossible to see, but he could hear the sounds of fighting, the wail of a babe, and the pitiful screams of his wife.

"No," he whispered, his voice sounding like an echo. "I don't want to see." He took a small step back, jumping as he heard his own cry of rage resonating from the study.

The child gave him an almost sympathetic smile. "You must. It's the only way for you to know the truth."

Albel shook his head harshly. "I know the truth, dammit! I was fucking there!" He pulled open his robe, baring a shoulder, and pointed to one of the deep scars. "I know what happens!"

The boy started to scowl, then smirked. "Apparently, you don't." With a push, he sent Albel sprawling through the smoke and into the study. The door slammed shut with a thundering boom. "Watch with your eyes this time, and not your heart. You'll see what we saw then."

A strangled scream of rage and anguish brought Nel scrambling out of a miserable doze. Her heart leapt inside her chest, adrenaline pumping through her veins as she fumbled for her blades. Falling out of the canvas tent she shared with Rusia, Nel winced at the blazing sun overhead as she stumbled through the hot sand on bare feet.

"Albel!" she shouted as she dove inside the men's tent, her weapons poised and ready.

The tent was empty except for her two male comrades. Albel was sitting up on his bedroll, his head clasped in both hands. A fine tremor shook across his body and rivulets of sweat ran down his naked torso. In a corner, Leylan huddled, trying to make himself as small as possible. His eyes were fearful and he gave Nel a panicked look as she entered the tent. When she narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him, Leylan cringed and stammered, "H-he just s-started s-screaming."

Nel frowned and tucked her blade back into her short skirt. "Go sit with your mother," she said, pointing at the tent flap. Leylan complied readily, and when Nel was certain he was gone, she turned back to Albel.

He was panting, his mouth open and chest heaving. For a moment, Nel was afraid he was hyperventilating. She really didn't want to have to slap him. Moving to his side, she reached out and carefully touched his shoulder. "Nox," she said quietly, "you need to calm down."

Albel jerked away from her and growled. "Leave me alone! I said I didn't want to see!" he shouted, shaking his head from side to side in his hands.

"Huh? See what, Albel?" Nel asked, moving her hand slowly back to her lap. He'd warned her once before to leave him be when he got this way, but she couldn't bring herself to let him suffer. Not like this.

Looking up, Albel stared at her, letting his hands drop. He blinked once, then twice, confusion pinching his features. "You," he said, his voice rough and dry.

"Yes, me. Nel," she said, feeling slightly ridiculous. She tilted her head at him. "What happened?"

Albel looked at her, then glanced away. His movements were jerky and unnatural as he scanned the tent, his face frowning. "I smell blood," he said.

Nel followed his gaze and sniffed the air. "I don't," she replied, trying to hide the worry she was feeling. "You had another nightmare."

Albel's head swung back to look at her. He narrowed his eyes to slits. "No shit," he snapped.

Nel arched her brows at him. The only time he used blunt profanity was when he was too shaken to think of anything wittier to say. Something had scared him--scared him badly. "You want to tell me about it?"

"No."

Sighing, Nel sat back on her heels. It was useless to push him. Albel's ability to clam up could be admired by monks all across Elicoor. If he didn't want to talk, he wouldn't, and no one could convince him otherwise. "Fine," she replied, standing up and moving to Leylan's bedroll. She picked it up, wrinkling her nose at the sweat stain, then gave it a good shake. There was a slight feeling of satisfaction when Albel flinched away from the bits of sand and debris. When she was satisfied it was as clean as it was going to get, she flipped the bedding over and lay down on her back.

Albel watched her, frowning. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Going back to sleep," she replied testily.

"Here?"

Annoyed at the lit of surprise in his voice, Nel rolled over on her side and glared at him. "Yes. Here. It's nearly a hundred and twenty outside, if you haven't noticed. I don't feel like running back out there. And besides that, I imagine it'll be a cold day in the lava caves before Leylan can be coaxed to room with you again."

Albel grunted unhappily and wiped some sweat from his face. "I noticed," he grumbled, his eyes drifting the bindings that bound Nel's breasts. He scowled and looked away.

Jaw clenching, Nel rolled to her other side so he wouldn't see her face flame red. It wasn't her fault she was in her undergarments. Rebyc was a waste land of sand and sun scorched stone. The heat during the day made it impossible to travel and sleep was nearly unbearable. At night, the temperatures fell, but the desert was still hot and too uncomfortable to wear regular clothing. The men had stripped down to nothing but their linen pants and boots, while Nel and Rusia suffered to maintain a woman's modesty without dying of heat stroke.

There was a rustling sound as Albel stood. The canvas of the tent opened and Nel looked up at the tall figure staring out across the blinding sunlight. Instantly, the temperature in the tent crawled a few degrees and Nel groaned. "You're not planning on going out there, are you?"

Albel threw a scowl over his shoulder. "Don't be stupid," he said. His attention returned to the desert and Nel sat up, his peculiar silence making her uneasy. For a long while, she just studied the pondering warrior, wondering where his thoughts were drifting.

"Kasia means 'bright sun'," Albel said unexpectedly. "She once told me that when we were brats. I told her it probably meant dragon dung and she cried. I still have a scar from the beating my father gave me." He put a finger to a place just above his hair line.

Not wanting to discourage Albel's sudden willingness to talk, Nel grew very still. She wasn't certain if he was talking to her, or just letting an excess of thoughts spill out of his troubled head. Whatever it was, she knew he wasn't looking for a willing participant in this conversation. No, he wanted someone to listen, to hear him for probably the first time in his life. Why he chose her, Nel didn't quite understand, but for some reason it didn't matter.

"I was always making that woman cry," he continued, still looking out across the desert. "I was cruel to her as a child and as a man. But she never tattled or complained to anyone. Not once. She would even defend me when my father or Woltar thought to scold me for something I'd done to her." Albel shook his head incredulously. "Stupid woman. I hated that about her; her wonton forgiveness and passivity."

He let the flap of the tent fall shut, but he remained staring straight ahead. "I still hate it. I know now that she's forgiven me for letting her die. She never even blamed me for it." He laughed and it was harsh. "She's even forgiven me for not loving her or our son."

Nel closed her eyes and pinched her lips shut. His pain, his sorrow, his suffering was evident in each of his words. His angry confusion twisted her heart painfully. He didn't understand and she couldn't explain it to him. Forgiveness and love were things a person had to learn on their own. Albel's problem was he was he didn't want to understand, afraid that anything other than anger and aggression would make him weak and vulnerable--exactly what he was now. The irony was saddening.

Albel looked over his shoulder at Nel, his face softening slightly. "But I never hated her," he said, his voice quiet. "I didn't love her either, but they were mine to protect. And I failed them." He turned and padded back to his bedroll, averting his eyes as he passed by Nel. "Now I have a duty to set it right and…" He fell silent as he sat down.

Nel waited for him to finish, but Albel only laid himself down and put his back to her. Unable to contain her curiosity, Nel asked, "And what?"

"And if you ever repeat one word of this conversation, you'll learn the real reason why they call me 'Wicked'," came Albel's reply after a few moments of quiet.

Nel blinked, then made a sound of frustration as she thumped back down onto her borrowed mat. "Whatever," she grumbled, too tired and hot to argue with him. "Just don't get yourself killed on my time."

Albel snorted from his side of the room. "Funny. That's what she said."

Ahhh--Sorry for the delay again! Not much I can say about it, except I hate summer time. Long hours and sweltering heat! Yuk! Not sure when the next chapter will be up, so I make no promises. Thanks again everyone for reading and sticking with my sporadic updates! You're all great! There's another translation up on the website, for those that are interested. New crappy icons as well! Thanks DR for your help:P See you next time!