Song: Turning Out - AJR
The final chapter of this story had arrived!
I had mentioned this chapter to be an epilogue and how much I hate writing those because they feel forced and rushed and sloppy - when I attempt them anyway - so HERE! I hope this one comes a lot smoother as I tried to not think about it too much and fuss over details, leaving it fairly open.
Everything was there one moment and then gone the next. I opened my eyes to nothing but darkness.
I called out but my voice echoed to no one.
I turned around but there was no end to the darkness.
Panic started to grip me. Was this what death was?
No. I couldn't think of that. I had so much to still do. Too much to get back too.
I more felt the warmth of its presence before I noticed the soft light emanating from behind and I spun around to face it. A small glowing orb, like a miniature sun small enough to fit in both my hands, floated before me. I instinctually reached out for it but it drifted just out of reach. I could feel the warmth from it but also something more, like a playfulness and want for me to follow it or perhaps I was just projecting onto it being the only object around me. I stepped after it and if drifted further away, always just keeping out of reach until I was following it blindly.
I stopped and the orb stopped too, drifting back towards me as if to try to coax me on. But I couldn't keep going. I wondered if this is what people meant when they talked of following a light at the end of a tunnel. It didn't feel like a tunnel. It was an enormous expanse of space painted black. No edges, no turns, no end. But despite the orbs warmth and encouragement, I couldn't bear to take another step.
Izuku.
Yosjino.
Taijo.
Ochaco.
I couldn't leave them behind. My wife. My three children.
I could picture my own mother lecturing me for leaving before her. I could imagine auntie's tears.
A sharp pain flared in my chest and I gripped at it, my nails digging into the material of my hero costume in a pathetic attempt to stop the ache in my chest. I couldn't. I couldn't leave them behind. They needed me, all of them. My eyes stung with the threat of tears and I grit my teeth hard enough to feel the ache in my jaw to hold on. To not give into my panic and fears.
The glowing orb, its light so warm and pleasant like the sun's touch on a perfect day, came towards me, close enough to touch now but I didn't reach for it as it touched my chest before sinking into it and passing through me. I felt it enter me on my front and exit from between my shoulder blades, taking the ache with it.
"Kacchan" my breath caught in my throat at the familiar voice and I spun around to face it behind me. As my eyes laid on him standing two meters from me, the world shifted around me with sickening speed. The moment my eyes met his, the blackness was pulled away from behind me towards Izuku's back, stripped away with blinding speed, leaving us standing in nothing but pure white. No edges, no turns, no end. My jaw slackened and I felt the wetness returning to my eyes.
He looked just how I remembered despite the years that had passed.
Messy green hair, bright green eyes that carried enough emotion to fill a novel, the scattering of freckles that covered his nose and cheeks, his warm, caring smile all while wearing his green hero costume. Metal mask down around his neck, white gloves that went up his arms, the same red belt I had gifted him an eternity ago and those same damn red shoes. He was still a teenager the same age and height he had been the last time I had seen him.
He was beautiful.
Tears overflowed and made their way down my cheeks as he smiled to me warmly, those eyes shining with the love he felt for me.
"You grew up so much" he spoke just above a whisper but in the baren scape it was deafening. I chocked on a sob as his words stung me. He should have never lost the chance to grow up too. He should have gotten just as big and tall as I was. It was hard to tell without standing right before him but I now stood at least five inches above him. I knew his words hadn't meant to have that affect on me. He had meant it as a compliment. I knew that from the way he smiled at me so warmly. Just like the sun.
I took a step closer to him, hesitant. I had lost him. Twice. And now here he stood before me but it crossed my mind that this was just my life fucking with me. Somewhere out there my life was ending and Izuku was the trick to make me cross that line.
Nothing more than the light for me to follow at the end of the tunnel.
His eyes closed slightly with hurt but his smile never left his lips. I had forgotten that he could read my thoughts like that. I instantly felt a stab of guilt for even thinking it but if that was the case, I couldn't follow him no matter how much I wanted to feel him again.
"I'm sorry Kacchan," he spoke quietly, his green eyes still on my red-green ones, "but there's no going back" the change in his eyes was so subtle that if I hadn't been with him so closely I never would have noticed it, shifting from hurt to sympathy. He opened his eyes wider again as they began to glisten with his own unshed tears.
"I can't" I croaked from my tight throat, feeling scratchy with emotion. I couldn't finish what I meant to say. That I couldn't go. I couldn't follow him.
"You did so well Kacchan" he praised me as he took a step closer to me this time and he felt a little taller.
"You saved them" he told me but I couldn't even recall what had happened to lead me hear. I was wearing my hero costume so I must have been working right? I glanced down but my costume was gone. Replaced with dark jeans and a black tee. I glanced back up, my eyes still wet to see he had stepped closer again and the white around us had faded a little. It was no longer blinding. It was becoming transparent.
"What is this?" I asked. I still hadn't moved closer to him and he stayed where he was. I wasn't sure if this was something to do with One For All or if this was the actual afterlife or some shit.
"You did it" he told me, not answering my question, "You were the best hero" his smile grew enough to show teeth but I thought of my family. I was overjoyed to see Izuku again after thinking he was gone forever but what I was leaving behind hurt. I looked down to my shoes.
"They are beautiful," Izuku told me, snapping my attention back to him, "you are such a good dad. They will be alright though" he assured me and I could feel he meant it, "you did well. Uraraka is strong, you're kids are strong. They will be okay" his eyes were glistening with barely held back tears and I knew he felt my pain at leaving them so suddenly. I was so torn. So happy to see him again but so pained that I was leaving my family behind
Our first son we named Izuku because he was the one who had brought Ochaco and I together after all and someone we both cared about deeply still. Izuku had wide green eyes and messy blonde hair, a light scattering of freckles across his nose and developed a combination of Ochaco's and my quirk. He could create explosions with his hands like me but when he wanted to he could send them off like bubbles that when popped, burst with an explosion. He was hero obsessed just like his name sake, was bubbly and would talk my ear off the moment I came in from work till the moment he was laid down to sleep.
Three years later our daughter was born, Yoshino. She looked like Ochaco with straight brunette hair, squishy cheeks and brown eyes. She was set to be a beauty and I would get in trouble for setting up Izuku to be ready to defend her from any and every boy who looked her way. Izuku was all too pleased with the idea of being his sister's hero. Yoshino floated like her mother and was somehow more troublesome to keep an eye on than Izuku ever was, floating away whenever we took our eyes off her when outside. She was a sweet girl, stubborn and quiet but could pull a real mean face when she wanted too.
Our third child was another boy we named Taijo who came only a year after Yoshino. He had lime green hair and red eyes. He was smart and quiet and usually kept his head down low and his nose stuck in a book. His quirk is what had really thrown us off when he coughed up fire during a cold when he was four. Fire or all things. It wasn't until I thought back that I realized the connection and it made me laugh at the irony of it all. I had to explain it to Ochaco that Izuku's dad had a fire breathing quirk that he himself had never manifested and it had skipped a generation to end up with Taijo. Ochaco had smiled and shaken her head while I could have pictured Izuku's reaction perfectly. He would have fallen to his knees in good humor and cried about the cruelty of it all.
My chest both swelled with warmth and bloomed with pain when I thought of my three little brats that had come out the perfect mix of Ochaco, myself and Izuku. When the previous holders of One For All had warned Izuku against staying with me, I had thought my hair getting softer and gaining a green tinge and his green bleeding into the bottom of my red iris' had been what they had meant. But of course, my body had changed to take on physical traits of Izuku's. I had never thought of it at the time till our first child had been born that it meant that Izuku and I had mixed on a genetic level too. It was a surprise and I had been blessed that of all people I had been with that it was Ochaco or there would have been complicated questions to answer.
I hadn't realized I had closed my eyes until I heard the unmistakable giggle of children and opened them again to face Izuku who patiently smiled back to me. The whiteness around us had continued to fade, revealing that old hill we had shared so many moments on. Movement caught my eye and I turned my face to see three children, my children, running down the hill, squealing with delight as they chased one another across the grass. Their forms were opaque and I remembered this memory. Ochaco and I had come back to visit the place that we linked back to Izuku. We had come back ten years later together to dig up that time capsule. It had become a family event. Both my parents, Ochaco's and auntie Inko had joined us on that hill that day along with Kirishima and Ashido with their own two kids, one boy a year younger than our oldest and a shy daughter two years younger.
That day we had unearthed that same time capsule we had buried back in high school. Kirishima had pried it open and while we read the letters we had written before returning them to the box, we had given little trinkets we associated with Izuku to each of our children before everyone who attended buried their own treasure inside.
The red belt I gave to Izuku who wanted to be a hero when he grew older. I told him that the belt belonged to a real hero who we knew and promised I would tell him all about that hero someday.
The All Might keyring went to Taijo who had kept it attached to his school bag ever since. He wasn't an open fanboy like either Izuku was when it came to heroes but he took it with quiet awe regardless.
Ochaco gifted Yoshino with the All Might colored hair scrunchie and she sat meekly while Ochaco had done her hair up in a ponytail with it.
Not everything had to do with Izuku though.
Our parents buried letters to each other and photos that were precious to them. Our children picked rocks from the stream to put inside and Kirishima and Ashido deposited their own special items before we resealed it and buried it back in the same place beneath the flat rock. Kirishima had beamed, announcing that we would all return in ten years' time to dig it back up again. The sad truth was not all of us would be back. Our parents would age, accidents would happen and hero work could be dangerous but no one voiced that back then. I never thought I would be the first to not be able to come back to that hill with everyone again.
Behind me the children squealed as they splashed at each other in the shallow stream but my eyes were on Izuku, the only solid thing before me. His gaze lifted to the top of the hill with affection in his eyes and a proud smile. I followed his green gaze to look to Ochaco sitting on the hill, her form opaque just like the kids were. She wore a wide summer hat and a pale flowy dress that rippled in the breeze. Her eyes were on our children down below, watching them with a peaceful and warm smile.
"She grew up too" Izuku commented quietly before turning his face to look to me again, I looked back to him.
"They really are so beautiful" he smiled to me and for a change, my tears forgotten, I laughed. Izuku's smile only grew with me.
"They're half yours too idiot" I smiled to him and dared to step closer.
I noticed it this time. As I came closer to him our heights smoothly became closer and I rubbed a hand across my chin feeling the lack of stubble there and glided fingers across my collar bone and felt the lack of a scar. The closer I got to Izuku, the clearer the world around us became and the more similar in age to him I grew until I was a teenager again myself.
The same age I was when I had received One For All from him.
The same age when we had come together.
It made sense in a sad way. He couldn't grow older to match my age so I had to come down to his level but the longer I stood before him, the peaceful scene playing on around us, the more okay with it all I was beginning to feel. It wasn't so frightening anymore.
"I thought I'd lost you for good" I remarked with a soft smile down to him. Teens or not, I was still taller. He lifted his chin to look up to me with a grin.
"I was always with you Kacchan," his eyes shimmered with happiness, "I just couldn't reach you anymore" his eyelids closed a little as his eyes were touched with sadness again, "I'm sorry it hurt Kacchan. I wish I could have stayed right beside you. I-"
"It's fine nerd" I threw a hand atop his head, forcing him to lower it while I tussled his hair, only making it messier.
It had hurt like hell to be without him, but he had been right all along. I wasn't alone. I had never been alone. I had friends to support me and Ochaco to love me. I closed my eyes with a long huff through my nose and a smile touching my lips before bringing my hand back to me and lifting my head to gaze around me.
My kids had grown since this memory. Izuku had graduated U.A and had gotten a sidekick gig at Todoroki's agency. He had wanted to work at the same one I did but I had been against it. I wanted to push him to be a better hero by studying under one of the best, though I was still better, all the while stepping out of my shadow.
Yoshino was in high school and at the point in her life where she was finally starting to pin down what it was she wanted to do and pick a college to attend. She seemed to be aiming to follow in her grandmother's footsteps to become a fashion designer and my mum had taken her under her wing.
Taijo started high school this year and was still undecided on what he wanted to do but we never pushed him to make a hasty decision either. He had always been the quietest of the three but the smartest too. Ochaco would always remind me that when he did finally decide what he wanted to do, that he would excel at it no matter what it was, and I didn't doubt it for a moment.
"They will be alright Kacchan" Izuku spoke up confidently and I turned back to look to him, "It will hurt for a bit but the pain never lasts, does it?" his smile was sincere.
"No," I replied, my gaze dropping down between us, "it doesn't"
Izuku lifted a hand between us in offering and I stared down at it, my brows creasing with emotion again. I lifted my gaze to look over to my wife and children again, enjoying the peace of that day before everyone else had arrived to join us on the hill. They all looked so happy and whole. Izuku was right. Losing me would hurt but the pain wouldn't last. Like everything else, it fades, and they would have each other and more to help them. Izuku had already said that I couldn't go back, so forward was the only option left. I looked back to Izuku's hand, still waiting for me.
"What happens now?" I asked him, lifting my eyes to look to his face again. His smile widened and he tilted his head like a puppy.
"Now we get to do whatever we want" Izuku replied, and his eyes closed as his smile widened.
I took his hand and the hill around us began to fade along with my family, but I kept my eyes fixed on Izuku's reassuring ones. He opened his mouth to whisper something, something so quiet that I could only just make out the words.
"They will always be with you" his words hit me in the chest hard, but I lifted the corners of my lips back in a small smile. I knew he was right. He was always right, and I would never doubt him.
The scape around us darkened but the hill was still with us. The sun had faded leaving us basking in the moonlight and surrounded by the light sounds of the stream bubbling over a bed of pebbles. We were joined by eight other orbs, all floating level with each other, encircling us and glowing with the warmth of the sun. As I turned my head to gaze at them, my hand still in Izuku's, they began to take form until I recognised them, each and every one of the past holders of One For All including All Might who smiled to the pair of us warmly. I felt a pang in my chest upon seeing the man, youthful and in his prime after he had passed years ago. To the right of him stood Nana who smiled to us warmly and nodded her head in our direction. I recognised several more from the notebook All Might had put together for Izuku back in high school and several others who I had never as much as seen a photo or heard a description of before but all smiled to use warmly and bobbed their heads in greeting.
Izuku gave my hand a squeeze and I turned my face back his way. He smiled to me with such affection that I couldn't help but to pull him into me and wrap my arms around him, lowering my head to bury in the crook of his neck. Izuku was quick to return the embrace and I heard him hum happily against my shoulder.
"I'm sorry Kacchan," he whispered to me, "I wish it hadn't ended this way, but I'll be here for you, forever. I'll never have to leave you again" his voice sounded thick with emotion, and I hugged him tighter.
I finally had my answer. This was One For All and I wondered if Izuku had been greeted by the previous holders in the same way when he had first joined them like this. I had entrusted the quirk to someone else two years before and thanks to that now I was to live on inside the quirk like the rest. I guessed that was lucky, otherwise it would have ended with me, and I never would have had this chance to see Izuku again.
Izuku pulled away to look up at me with so much love and affection and trust in his eyes that it made me heart squeeze. I had missed him so much.
I had lost so much too, or more so, I was now lost to them but at least I wasn't alone, and I returned Izuku's loving gaze with my own. And I guessed this was my life now or what remained of my existence. To live on within One For All with Izuku at my side but like Izuku had told me all those years ago, once I was here and accepted it, I no longer felt sad. I no longer felt scared. I only remembered the good times and they kept a smile on my face and my chest warm.
THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL MY READERS 3 I very much appreciate how patient you have all been with me and how much you have enjoyed this piece to read it this far. It got a bit messy there for a bit but we made it through!
For those who are curious about Bakugo's new existence inside OFA, he and Izuku can spend their time together inside the scape of the quirk. They can visit that same hill and be beside each other and even be physical with each other in private. This is not normal though and only possible because they were combined together in Bakugo's conscious prior. So as sad as it is for Bakugo to have passed during hero work, he can live on happily with his first love by his side.
Also, when Izuku died from Katsuki's conscious and the sun like orb that represented his soul went, it didn't disintegrate like Izuku's body did, but rather faded out of existence. That was Izuku's soul leaving Bakugo's conscious. Despite Izuku having separated himself from OFA, part of his soul never left it and therefore he never truly left Bakugo and instead could observe his family growing and feel Bakugo's emotions through the quirk but sadly could never reach out to Bakugo. And Bakugo being Bakugo, he was never close to OFA to begin with emotionally like Izuku was so therefore he didn't dream of it like Izuku did and without the threat of AFO on the loose thanks to taking down Shigaraki when they did, the other holders didn't have to reveal themselves to help defeat AFO.
ALSO also, because I couldn't find a decent place to slot it into the chapter but I think it's a cute little titbit... Bakugo insisted that Inko stay close to his life and he did his bets to act like a second son to her by inviting her to family dinners and getting her involved in planning the wedding and having her babysit his kids and insisting that they call her their grandma too. Inko, being as polite as she is, was against it at first but Bakugo wouldn't allow it so as far as his kids are aware, they grew up with 3 grandmas which of course made Inko cry happy tears. After all, once Bakugo realised that he and Uraraka's kids carry some of Izuku's gene as well, there was no way they couldn't involve Inko into every family activity and event they had. Biologically, they were her true grandchildren just as much as they were Bakugo and Uraraka's parents were.
So there you have it!
Now I can turn my focus on creating new chapters for my other incomplete works starting with Blood is Thicker Than Water and then I'm Afraid to Hold You. I have an overwhelming abundance of other MHA fics in the works that fill my head on a daily basis until I write them down so keep an eye out for those. You can read synopsis and see which ones I have started work on through my AO3 profile and by extension (the link at the bottom of my profile) on my FanFiction profile (because I could not fit them all on A03's profile!)
I also hope for those who listened to the songs for selected chapters that you enjoyed the music and hopefully made you feel close to what I felt while writing those chapters 3 I often listen to music while typing and I attach a lot of songs to particular scenes. I actually have playlists in order for majority of my fics...I am not tech savy at all but if I ever figure out how to make my fic playlists public I will let the world know!