A/N: Hmmm… no Lard Orcs yet… must be doing a good job, then.

Step Five

"Step five: This is the big step. The biggest step thus so far, anyway. When you feel that you're comfortable talking to her about anything (and vice versa), now is the time to ask her if she's willing to be your girlfriend. We are not kidding about this, as it is very important that she's on intimate terms with you to progress further.

Note: If you're nervous, try presenting her with a gift to go along with the question. Something as simple as a rose, or something as expensive as a class-friendly weapon that the target does not have yet."

Phoenix just stared at the book for a good ten seconds. "I gotta be her girlfriend? Aww, crap."

"Don't you mean her boyfriend?"

"Umm… yeah, Yuwain… meant to say boyfriend…"

"Kupo, Phoenix! You can be rather goofy sometimes, kupo!"

The young Hunter just sighed. "Whatever. The point is…. boyfriend?"

Yuwain started sniggering. "Have fun Phoenix…"

Of course, the three men had to come up with a plan, as previous experience proved to them that just winging it isn't exactly the best plan. And of course, the three men are guys, so they can't come up with a complex plan, either. Of course, they decided to follow the books advice and go buy something. They thought about the bow, but decided against it because it wouldn't mean as much since the clan could buy any bow they want. They thought about the rose, but didn't know where the heck they'd find one (remember… guys). However, after much contemplation, Phoenix eventually came up with a half-decent idea.

"Say… do either of you guys know where I could find a magical seamstress-type person?"

(Insert scene change here)

That very question caused Phoenix to find himself on the top of the highest mountain in the Kudik Peaks, sitting cross-legged across from a rather old-looking Nu Mou Alchemist.

"So… you are requesting a special item of clothing, yes?"

"Right… something along the lines of an armband. Mostly for decorational or cool-looking purposes, but if you can give it the ability to nullify zombification, that'd be great."

"… Zombification?"

"Inside joke."

"Hmmm… I think I could manage that. You wouldn't happen to have any material on hand that I could work with, now would you?"

"Actually, I've got some rabbit fur from lunch… caught him about an hour ago, so the hide isn't stiff yet, either."

The Nu Mou's face lighted up. "Rabbit hide, hmm? Yes, that should do rather nicely. It's soft, comfortable, and rather receptive to enchantments, too. May I see it?"

Phoenix handed over the rabbit pelt and the Alchemist quickly took it and examined it with a careful eye. He nodded at times, mumbled to himself at others. Finally, he looked up and smiled at Phoenix.

"You did a most excellent job of skinning that rabbit and keeping the hide in good condition. Come back in about five days, and I'll have your armband ready. Oh, and a 5,000 gil tip would be most appreciated for the labor required of enchanting it."

"No problem. Thank you, sir."

(Insert scene change here)

"Where have YOU been, Phoenix?"

The culprit-in-question had just walked into the main pub in Cyril and joined the rest of his clan at a table. They had been there for about half an hour already… they ALWAYS came in at 10 o'clock and it was 10:30.

"Umm… sleeping in?"

"You weren't in your room, I checked."

Phoenix's eyes widened. "You mean you came INTO my room?"

Jullianne raised an eyebrow. "Anything wrong with that?"

Phoenix quickly recovered from his shock. "Um, no… nothing wrong with it at all. It's just… a mess, that's all."

"The place was immaculate."

Phoenix pointed a finger at Yuwain. "He cleaned it up. He always likes keeping the room clean."

"Your point? You're sounding rather edgy, Phoenix… are you alright?"

"Fine! Perfect! Never been better!"

"Mmmhmmm… right… perfect. Well, Dave was just informing us about another upcoming mission. We'll be needing you for it, too, so don't go running off again."

"Oh, a mission! What's the specs?"

Dave cleared his throat and told Phoenix about 'the specs'. "Well, it's not really an official mission, it's just that a Morpher was looking for someone who could get him a flan soul or two. We said you'd be up for the job."

Phoenix nodded. "Of course! Where are the flans?"

"Koringwood."

Phoenix froze for a second. Koringwood was as far from Kudik Peaks as humanly possible.

"… And how soon is this mission?"

"Three days from now. Why?"

"Umm… problem… I kind've have a… aherm… 'appointment' at Kudik Peaks in five days…"

Deathly silence at the table.

"What?" Jullianne asked in a flat tone of voice.

"I need to meet someone at Kudik in five days… that's where I was guys. It's rather… important that I get to that meeting."

"I'll go for you, ya ssstupid oaf."

Phoenix lighted up when he heard Yuwain's offer.

"You mean you'll do it?"

"No… I was jussst kidding. I'll make sure I stay away from Kudik five days from now JUST so you get in trouble. Of COURSSSE I'm going!"

The Hunter grinned at his Gladiator friend. "Thanks, Yuwain. It means a lot to me."

"That'sss why I'm doing it."

"And if you could bring 5,000 gil with you, that'd be great."

"I'm not EVEN going to asssk…"

Dave smiled and silently thanked Yuwain for rescuing his plan. No, not Phoenix's plan… Dave's plan. Now that Phoenix had accepted, he sprung the rest of his 'trap' that he had so carefully set for Phoenix, as well as for the clan… well, one other member of the clan, anyway.

"Well, here's the deal, Phoenix. Quite a few Wyrms and Drakes are occupying Koringwood at the moment, so we can't have a full party go in there. We'd make too much noise. We were thinking of sending just two people: you and one other. Bangaa are too noisy, no offense guys…"

"We've been over thisss already… we didn't take any offenssse ten minutes ago, ssso we won't take any now…"

"Right… anyway, Nu Mou would be too slow. Moogles would be okay, except the two we have are a bit chatty on missions, as I have noticed oh so many times in the past."

"Sorry, kupo…"

"It's nothing to be sorry about! Usually it's a good thing, since it keeps us entertained on those long boring walks. But now… it just won't work."

'So then that leaves…'

"So we decided a Viera would be our best bet-"

'Lemme guess. It's gonna be-'

"Jullianne was the better pick of the two, being a Sniper and all that. Good for stealth, you know."

'Man… Dave's one perceptive guy. Thanks dude.'

"The other pro about Jullianne is that she's also had a fair amount of experience as a white mage. Always handy to have one of those around, yes?"

"Of course. Just gotta be careful if something happens to the white mage."

"Which is exactly why we're giving you twenty Curealls and ten Phoenix Downs for the trip."

"Ah."

"Well, best get packing for the mission, then! You should leave soon, just in case the flan get bored of Koringwood."

Phoenix nodded. "Yeah… good idea. Can I take a look at the mission info sheet so I can recap on all of this without forcing you to repeat yourself again?"

"Like I said, it's not an official mission thing, so there's no sheet. I just met this Nu Mou on the way over here, so it's sort of a 'black market mission' if you will."

Phoenix nodded. "Alright. I think I got it all anyway… just wanted to make sure."

"Well then, you better get moving."

"Awww, man! Can't I finish my drink?"

"Scoot!"

"… Fine…" Phoenix got up and headed towards the room which he, Yuwain, and Mack shared. Jullianne followed suit, heading off to the room she and Euphem shared. Everyone watched them, except for Yuwain, who noticed a smirk on Dave's face.

"There isss no missssion… isss there?"

Dave grinned. "Nope."

"Then it'sss all a joke to get them hooked up?"

The grin grew wider. "Yup."

"Doesss Jullianne know about this?"

The grin grew wider still. "Nope."

"Do you think ssshe'll be okay with it?"

If the grin grew any more, it would have cracked. "Can't say."

Yuwain turned to look back at the staircase that the two had just ascended.

"Thisss should be fun, then."

A/N: From now on, I think all steps will be requiring two chapters…