I waited until each and every passenger was safely on board the Carpathia before I lowered the mast and shut it away into the vessel. After cleaning up everything else and satisfied 14 was secure, I allowed myself to go up the rope latter and onto the deck.

I gave my name to the officer who was waiting at the top with a clipboard and pencil.

"The captain will want to see you." he replied as he wrote it down.

I nodded. That was more than understandable, but first things first. I was going to fetch Rose and together we were going to find Sarah.

Through the hundreds of people milling around on the decks, frantically looking for their loved ones, I found Rose. She was being helped over to makeshift bench towards the railing. I pushed my way through the rest of the crowd and made my way to her.

She was merely a ghostly shadow of the girl I had met only days before. Her once fair and porcelain skin was now an horrid gray, and her vibrant red hair had now turned a lackluster and dull color, but she was alive, which was more than a lot of others could say.

"Rose."

She turned and looked at me. She had the saddest eyes I had unfortunately seen once before, many years ago...I shook the thought out of my head and sat down next to her. I took my hat off and held it in my hands, trying my best to make her feel comfortable and for her to know that I wasn't just doing this because I felt obligated.

"Can I get you anything?"

She shook her head and her eyes shifted off into space. There were hundreds of people around us, but she wasn't looking at any of them.

"When we found you I didn't see..."

"Jack...no you wouldn't have. He's gone."

I swallowed back hard. The harshness of what had happened coming back to me quickly.

"He tried to make me leave, but I just couldn't do it..." she started, though it sounded as if she

was recounting a story told to her; her were words without emotion? "...Sarah told me it wasn't too late...and I jumped."

She stopped and looked over at me and gave me a small smile. "It may not seem like very much, but those last few moments I had with him, made me realize how much I did love him."

My chin was quivering with grief, but I pushed it away, trying my best to keep up a good front and be strong.

"I can never go back now." she replied turning away again.

"What do you mean?"

"I made a promise to him. I'm going to live and I won't be allowed to do that if I marry Cal or go back to my mother. I'm dead to them."

"Dead? You're not making any sense..."

"Yes I am. Even the darkest cloud had a silver lining, and this is mine. You can't tell anyone that you found me…even Sarah."

Had she completely lost her mind? For once in my life I was at a loss for words. She was absolutely mad, there was no way she could expect me to do this for her, or for her to expect that she might even get away with it. I opened my mouth to tell her so, but she cut me off.

"Look, Mr. Lowe, I'm not a stupid person and from what little I know of you, I know you aren't either, but you have to understand this is for the best. My life as the person they knew is over with. I need to start over, you only get one chance at living and if I don't do this now I will never forgive myself. You have to understand that."

She looked at me intently, but I refused to speak to her. This was idiotic.

"You don't understand what it's like, there's only one other person that does and I know that she's in good hands. You'll save her from all of that. I don't have anyone to do that for me, I have to save myself."

I shook my head, not believing what I was hearing.

"You do love her, don't you?"

I nodded.

She smiled softly and put her hand on top of mind. "And she loves you…"

"…she loves you too. And yet you are refusing to tell her that you're alive! You want to break her heart, that's the way to do it!"

"If I did and someone found out, Sarah would be the first person they took it out on…"

"That doesn't make any sense…"

"Her emotions would give her away. Both my mother and Cal know that she followed me and helped me and Jack…"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked irritated.

She just sighed heavily and recounted a story to me about some diamond in her boyfriends pocket and how he was framed by her fiancée and then about how Sarah and her had gone down to the lower decks, which were flooded, to save him.

My heart pounded furiously when I realized how much danger Sarah had been in. She had risked her life, just for Rose's happiness and here was Rose, throwing it back in her face. I wasn't going to be a part of that and flatly refused to keep my finding her a secret.

I got up and started to walk away and she grabbed me.

"Please! Never in my life have I had to make a harder decision, but trust me…" her blue eyes held more emotion than I could comprehend. She was putting her heart on the table here; the least I could was hear her out. I sat back down.

"I can't lie to her. I can't sit there and watch her suffer and know that I could make it go away. I'm going to marry her and you're asking me to keep that from her for the rest of my life."

"I'm not asking, I'm begging you. You have never met these people. I tried to be optimistic and tell Sarah that none of this would happen to her, but if she does know and someone finds out any hope of you two being together will all come crashing down. One out of the norm moment will go over and pass with our Grandmother, but if it comes out that I am alive and she knew all this time, she won't let her be with you, even if you are already married."

"I won't let that happen."

"You say that, but you have no idea what you are getting yourself into. This world isn't anything like the one you live in. It's expensive and opulent and totally built on a foundation of good images. When and if you and Sarah marry, people will see it as beautiful love story; coming from the ashes of a tragedy, you two finding one another and falling in love…but if they find out I'm alive and she knew the whole time, they would see her as a menace and turn their back on both of you. That's why, as much as I love Sarah, and want her in my life, I'm not going to ruin hers in the process…do you understand?"

As much as I didn't want to, I did. I shook my head not believing what I was about to do.

"Alright, I'll keep your secret."

"You will."

I nodded. "Just take care of yourself…I know Sarah would want that."

She agreed.

"You should go and find her; she's probably worried sick about you."

I nodded my head and got up. I put my hat back on and looked down at Rose. "I'm sorry." I didn't want to say his name, but she knew what I was talking about.

She gave me a nod of gratitude. "There's nothing to be sorry for. He'll always be with me." Her words were strong, but I could see the sorrow in her eyes.

I bid her goodbye and started off, when I heard her call me once more. I turned around.

"Hug her for me."

I smiled. "For the rest of my life."

Later…

It had been at least an hour and I still couldn't find her. In the dining room, I found Mrs. Hansen, tearfully she told me that Sarah had been there, but left sometime while she was sleeping. She was clutching both of her children tightly to her and I looked at her compassionately.

Within an hour after I had arrived, Lights had shown up on the last lifeboat. Word of that had spread quickly and with no word from other ships, we now knew that those of us on the Carpathia were the only survivors.

I left Mrs. Hansen, somewhat reluctantly, as she wept for her dead husband and made my way back outside and towards the aft of the ship. It was the only place I hadn't looked and found myself becoming discouraged when I realized how empty it was, but then coming upon the back railing I could see her.

Leaning over the railing, she looked into the sea with a certain and unnerving sadness in her face. Her hair was down, and knotted in tangles, but I thought it was beautiful. The torn dress she wore and blanket draped over her shoulders, were more gorgeous than the dress I had last seen her in.

I wanted to speak to her, but when I opened my mouth nothing came out. I watched as she shed some tears and brushed them away with a gentle touch. Then I saw my pocket watch, tightly wound around her wrist.

Of anything she could have taken with her from the ship, that was the one thing she had thought of.

"Admit it, you come looking for me don't you?" The words I had spoken to her days ago came out of my mouth without any thought and I watched as she slowly turned around and looked at me.

Her eyes grew wide with surprise and after a quick blink she opened them again. On her face a beautiful bright grin formed, one that could have melted any iceberg in the ocean and ran into my arms.

She sobbed into my shoulder and I couldn't help but cry as well.

I held her so tight; I didn't want to lose her again. Not a god damn thing was going to pull her away from me again. I had her in my arms and that was the way it was going to stay.