Whew, what a week! Anyway, I am so sorry I didn't warn you guys about the last chapter. Yes, it was the same as 23 but it was all from Harry's POV. There was no way I could have written that from Sarah's. But I really like writing from Harry's. It's fun, but I'm not too comfortable with it yet, I don't think I really capture his character when I do it.

Thanks so much for your reviews though, I loved them! Esp.Sancti; your review honestly gave me an extra boost when writing : )

ANYWAYZ...anyway here is 25. I do not plan on ending the story anytime soon, so don't worry. (I'll probably make it to at least 100 chapters…lol.) I've got some REALLY good ideas…well I think they're good anyway : )

So back to Sarah's POV….oh yeah and just to warn you this story was written little bits at a time throughout the week, I did my best to edit so have mercy if it doesn't flow together...I always get worried about that type of thing.

Chapter 25

"I was so worried…" I tried say through my tears but it was no use. As hard as I tried I could barely even get a few simple words out, let alone a sentence.

Harry shushed me and sat me down on a bench, his arms never leaving me, not even for a second. He brushed the tears away and kissed me softly, trying to save my cheeks from the bitter wind that was attacking my damp face.

"I was worried too. I didn't know weather or not you had even gotten on a boat, but we're here now, safe and together."

I nodded and he leaned in and brushed a soft kiss across my lips. As soon as we parted I began to cry once more and collapsed into him. He held me so close; keeping me warm and protecting me from all that was surrounding us.

"Polly lost Charles…" I sobbed. "…I was so afraid that I lost you too. I kept thinking the worst…" I managed to pull myself up and wipe the tears away. "…I didn't know what I would do if I had lost you."

"But you didn't, I'm still here and…" he lifted my wrist up and indicated the watch that was still wrapped tightly around it, "…you and I are getting married, remember?"

I nodded and managed to smile.

He smiled back. "There's nothing to be worried about anymore."

I shook my head, the smile fading from my face. "Rose. I still haven't heard anything about her."

He shifted in his seat and looked at me with an expression that I couldn't really make out, then it quickly faded and he grasped my hand tightly. "I'm sure we'll know soon."

Yet as he said that he confirmed my worst fear. Obviously he knew that Rose was…God, I couldn't even think it. "You know something, don't you?"

He didn't answer and actually averted his gaze from me. I pushed his chin back towards me and his dark eyes, that I had found such warmth and comfort in, now gave me a chill.

"Harry, tell me." I replied, taking a deep breath, braving myself for the worst.

"I saw her…" he gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing up and then back down. "…in the water. She was…"

"No…" I shook my head. "No, you saw someone else…"

"I'm so sorry." he replied, actual tears falling down his face.

I got up, the rest of my body was now shaking just a furiously as my head was. "You're wrong, she can't be…" I stood over him and then began to back away, wanting to flee from the truth. He got up.

"Sarah…"

"NO! She's not! She can't be!" I suddenly screamed.

"She's gone."

He was too calm and I, too erratic. I wanted to scream, yell, do whatever I could just to make my anger known, but there was nothing I could do. I could feel it begin to seep into my heart, creating a hollow feeling that was probably going to be there until I died.

"WHY? WHY WOULD GOD DO THIS? SHE DID NOTHING TO HIM! NOTHING!"

Harry reached for me but I pulled away. "It's my fault! She was safe! She was in a lifeboat with me and I told her to jump out, it was me! I TOLD HER TO DO IT!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Harry grabbed me by the shoulders and towered in front of me. "LISTEN TO ME! It's not your fault, don't you DARE blame yourself for it…" my gaze drifted away and he shook it back furiously. "DO YOU HEAR ME, SARAH?"

There was something in his voice that brought me back down from the cloud of anger I had been on. I suddenly felt about as small as a speck of dust. Silent tears were falling down my face and I looked at him.

His brown eyes were as grief stricken as my own but they offered a certain understand and comfort that I wasn't going to find anywhere else.

"I just don't understand…"

He released his grip and then wrapped his arms around me. "Me either."

"Why, did any of this happen?" I asked, clinging to him tightly.

He didn't answer me. He didn't have to, he knew the answer as well as I did; know one would ever know. It was just one of those things that no one would ever understand.

Later…

The Carpathia pulled up anchor around 9 that morning. However before that there were two services held, one for those of us that were saved, and one for those who hadn't been. Harry was at my side the whole time, he never left and for that I was grateful.

When we finally went back inside, there were ships crew all around assigning rooms to some for all of us to sleep in, as if any of us could sleep anyway. I was given a room in second class, along with three other women. Harry was of course given a room with one of the ship's officers.

He walked me to mine encouraging me to get some sleep.

"I don't want to leave you."

He brought my hands up to his lips and kissed them softly, "I'm not leaving, I'm going to be right on board the whole time."

"What if…it…happens again?"

"It won't. I promise."

I tried to be as a positive as he was, but even after he had left and I was in the room heading towards the nearest bed, I had my doubts.

Carpathia's passengers were all very kind and many had donated clothing for all of us who had come from Titanic. I found a simple blue dress, some under things, a jacket and boots laid out on the bed for me. None of them were my size but I was thankful none the less.

I moved them aside and slipped my own shoes off and lay down on the bed. My exhaustion was stronger than I thought and I was asleep in no time.

The minutes I slept, quickly turned into hours and it wasn't long after that that the nightmares began to intrude into my dreams. The sounds alone from the night before were enough to make me imagine the worst and soon images of people with faces frozen in terror scared me out of my sleep.

My heart was pounding and there was a thick layer of sweat covering my entire body. The room was dark and I could hear the sound breathing of my roommates around me. In the dark I found the donated clothes and changed into them and then slipped out the door and into the dimly lit hallway.

I somehow found myself back out on the deck and was greeted with a roar of cold wind as I opened the door. I walked out under the night sky and hugged myself against the cold. I found a deck chair and sat down on it.

My tired eyes produced a blurred image of the stars above me, but I actually felt at peace as I did so. That was until I heard that voice, that horrible, evil voice.

He spoke to me and felt sick to my stomach as I looked up and saw Cal standing there beside me.

"Oh God…"

"You don't look happy to see me."

"Should I?"

He sneered. "Well I'm happy to see you, the least you could do is reciprocate the feeling."

I didn't answer him, just scowled and pulled my jacket tighter around me. I didn't have the energy for this. He seemed to know that, too. Using the situation to his advantage; knowing that I was an emotional and physical wreck.

"Rose is gone, you know?"

I kept my stature straight and frozen, hoping that he would just give up and go away. Unfortunately he didn't.

A cocky smile was now plastered across his face and he sat down next to me, forcing me to move as far over on the chair as possible, without falling off the other end.

"I told you what would happen if I lost her didn't I?"

Again, I didn't answer. I was starting to feel sick to my stomach just by being in his presence.

"You remember I know you do…" he leaned closer to me and I sat there like an idiot, as if I were frozen to the seat under me. "…You were going to be mine and I always…ALWAYS get what I want. That whore you call a cousin, learned that the hard way, but you will be mine." his lips were nearly touching my neck and I could feel his hot breath against my skin.

I found myself, thankfully, and leapt out of the seat before anything else could happen. "Leave me alone." I replied, my voice shaking.

"You're not scared are you." he got up and came towards me. Suddenly he seized me by the shoulders and pulled me towards him. "I would have thought you'd be used to a man's touch by now, seeing as how you have been stealing moments with one whenever you could for the past few days."

I was scared. My whole body was shaking with fear and my added drowsiness didn't help matters. I had no strength to fight him back. I had to stand here and listen to whatever he had to say, and his words were harsher than any slap across the face.

"Please…just leave me alone." I pleaded.

"Come on, Sarah; just think of what we could have together. You're a very wealthy woman and together we could have the whole world if we wanted it. If you stay with that officer you wouldn't be able to afford those diamond earrings in your ears right now."

At those words, my hand went up to my ear and I felt the dangling diamond in it. I couldn't believe I was still wearing them. There were the same ones I had worn to dinner the night before, the same ones I had worn when I had gone to see Harry. And they had survived everything; the trip through the freezing cold water to rescue Jack, the lifeboat…I couldn't believe it.

"…I could give you everything, and think all you have to give me in return is your hand in marriage."

The thought of Harry had given me a newfound gall and energy. And I stood up and fired back, "You're sick, you know that?" I then turned and started to walk away but he grabbed me harshly by the arm and pulled me back to him.

"You WILL be mine, do you hear?"

"I'd be careful if I was you Cal, don't you remember what happened the last time you handled me this way?" I sneered, much the same way it had been only moments before.

He dropped me quickly, the obvious memory of pain coming into his mind.

"Let me clear something up for you, here and now, so that you will never have to do this again. I WILL NEVER marry you! I don't love you, I don't even like you. I love another and he is the one I will marry, you're right he doesn't have money like you do, but I consider that to be more of a blessing than a curse. He will marry me because he loves me, not because I have money. I love and trust him and there's nothing you can do that will ever change that!"

"We'll see about that." he muttered, but I ignored him and began to turn and walk away again, but then I turned around and said one last thing.

"For the record; Rose may have learned a lesson by dying, but it wasn't what you think it was…she learned that money makes men evil and that the only way to be truly wealthy is to love and that's something you could have never given her!"

Then I left. Leaving him broken and defeated in the cold, dark night. At least that's the way I imagined him to be…