A/N: Deeply sorry for the delay in posting this chapter… just didn't have time to do it shrugs

By the way… I've had an idea for a one-chapter "songfic" stirring around in my head for a while… so I may throw that one at you if I can get those thoughts that are floating aimlessly to piece themselves together. Anyway… the story.

Step Six

Phoenix opened the door to the room he shared with Mack and Yuwain looking rather harried. The two were waiting for him, as they had planned to meet this afternoon for the next phase of the plan. He entered the room, not even bothering to close the door, and just… stood there glaring at something Yuwain and Mack apparently could not see.

"What's with the look, kupo?"

"I don't want to talk about it…"

"…"

"Okay, I do." He plunked himself down on the edge of his bed and fell back, arms out wide like he was exhausted.

"…We're waiting… ssspit it out."

"HHHHHCCCCCKKK! TOOO!" A nice big loogie went sailing across the room and hit Yuwain square in the eye.

"… That wasssn't funny."

"I thought it was, kupo!"

"You're not helping…" Yuwain wiped the snot-spit-ball out of his eye with his hand, and wiped his hand on Mack's fur ("KUPO! That's GROSS!"), and looked back at the still-comatose-Phoenix.

"… Ssso?"

"It's Jullianne…"

"That'sss a bit obvious… what about her?"

"Loogies are gross, kupo…"

"MACK!"

"Sorry, kupo…"

Phoenix sighed and sat up, shaking his head slightly, as if to clear thoughts out of his head. "It's just that… RRR! She's so ANNOYING about the whole Drunk Jullianne incident. Okay… more than annoying… downright angry about it."

"… With good reason, kupo…"

"Well it's HER FAULT that she drained the canteen. I mean… true, I had kind've cornered her with questions about- What was that?" Phoenix had heard a floorboard creak outside the room.

Yuwain heard it too, for he got up, looked out into the corridor, and came back in shaking his head. "Didn't sssee anything. Continue."

Phoenix nodded, looking slightly relieved. "I was saying that I had sorta cornered her with questions about… well, about our…" Cough. "… relationship, I suppose. She got pretty embarrassed about something, I saw her cheeks get pretty red-"

"Had to have been pretty red if you could sssee them under all that fur…"

"That's what I was thinking. Anyway, she said she was thirsty, so I offered her my canteen of whiskey-"

"Why'd you bring a canteen of whiskey, kupo?"

"To come across as manly. Y'know… "Look at me! I drink whiskey! I'm a real man!" That type of thing."

"Pretty dumb, but continue."

Phoenix rolled his eyes, but obeyed. "Well, that's about it, 'cause from that point on, it was the Drunk Jullianne Show…" He let out a small snicker. "I gotta say, though… she was pretty funny… goofy is a better word, I think. Anyway, while she was drunk, I asked her if she'd be my girlfriend, and she said yes. I figured she would, she had pretty much said she thought I was hot, cute, and sexy while she was drunk."

Laughter erupted from both Yuwain and Mack. Phoenix seemed to find it funny too, for me started laughing. However, he seemed to find it funny for the wrong reason, because Yuwain gave him a weird look.

"What?"

"We weren't laughing with you… we were laughing because you're neither hot, cute, nor sexy…"

"HEY! I resent that!"

"But it'sss true. Anyway, now that you've told usss the ssstory… tell about what happened with Jullianne being angry."

Phoenix shuddered. "Man, that was ugly…"

Flashback-ish Thing

Phoenix and Jullianne had been sleeping under the shade of a tree on their way back from Koringwood. Jullianne hadn't woken up since she feel asleep drunk, and walking in the sun made Phoenix drowsy. So he found a nice tree on a grassy hill and fell asleep under it, sitting next to Jullianne with their hands entwined. It all seemed very romantic to Phoenix. That is, until-

"WHAT is going on!"

… until Jullianne woke up.

Phoenix grumbled a bit in his sleep, and made the mistake of tightening his hold on Jullianne's hand. The now extremely irate Viera ripped her hand away and slapped him across the face, adding a fresh set of claw marks to his cheek. THAT woke Phoenix up, and he sat straight up, looking around wildly.

"Huh? What's going on?"

"That's what I want to know, buddy!" Jullianne hissed, putting emphasis on the I.

"Whaddya mean?"

"WHY did I awake under a tree in SOME FIELD with YOU holding my hand? WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN KORINGWOOD, DAMMIT!"

"To answer the question about Koringwood, we were going back to Cyril 'cause I found out there was no mission…"

"What?"

"And to answer the question about waking up under a tree in a field holding my hand… that'd be because I thought it'd be a nice thing to do for my girlfriend."

"WHAT!"

Phoenix looked at her and blinked. "… You don't remember anything, do you?"

"… Obviously not!"

Phoenix sighed. "Alright… let's calm down first. How 'bout a lil' kiss on the cheek to cheer you up, eh?" He asked cheerily.

"Oh, HELLS no!"

The cheery smile dropped immediately. "I see… well, here's the deal Jullianne… You got drunk-"

"No kidding, smart one."

Phoenix took a deep breath and repeated himself. "You got drunk and did some… unusual things."

"Don't say that we had s-"

"No, we did not, but you DID agree to be my girlfriend."

"You mean to say you asked me to be your girlfriend when I was DRUNK? When I don't have my wits about me? When I would say YES to ANYTHING?"

"… Even marriage?"

"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!"

"Alright, alright! Don't start having a seizure… I'm sorry that I did that, I admit that counts as taking advantage of you. But the fact remains that-"

"… Oh, I can't wait to hear this one."

"The fact remains that you PROMISED you'd be my girlfriend."

"YOU MADE ME PROMISE SOMETHING WHEN I WAS DRUNK! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?"

Phoenix cringed and covered his ears. Jullianne leaned over, yanked his hand away, and screamed right into his ear. "STOP BEING CHILDISH!"

Phoenix muttered, "Yelling counts as being childish…"

"Shut up! I'm REALLY annoyed with you right now-"

"That's obvious."

"I'm annoyed for obvious reasons!"

Phoenix nodded. "I know! I know why you're annoyed, but you still gotta be my girlfriend!"

"WHY are you still hung up on THAT?"

"… Because…"

"Because WHY?"

Phoenix folded his arms across his chest and stuck his tongue out. "Just… Because! NNNNNNNN!"

… Another claw-mark later, and Phoenix's cheeks became symmetrical with the red slashes.

"Alright! If you're gonna be so CHILDISH about it, then I'm not going to deal with you right now… I don't know about you, but I want to get back!" And so she got up and started walking towards Cyril. Phoenix sighed and followed.

End of Flashback-ish Thing

Phoenix waited for the reaction of his friends.

He pretty much got none.

"Ummm… guys? Moral support would be nice…"

Yuwain shrugged. "It'sss your fault that it hasss ended up like thisss. Whatever. She'sss you're girlfriend now, ssso let's get to the next ssstep of the battle plan."

"Right, kupo!"

Phoenix rolled his eyes, but agreed. So the three took out the Holy Book of Dating, as they called it, and Phoenix read the next step.

"Now that the target is your girlfriend, you need to keep it that way. DO NOT let engagements keep you from talking to her as much as you can, or she will feel ignored and unhappy. Regular gifts would be a good idea. Another good idea is to learn how to kiss. It is highly unlikely that the target will find the relationship romantic if you lack any skills in kissing. She might find it "cute" for a while, but then it will get old."

Phoenix looked up from the book. "Well, that doesn't sound too hard. I mean… we all meet daily, and Jullianne 'n I could just go off afterwards any time-"

"Asssssuming she would want to…"

"Hey! She's my girlfriend now, and she's gotta keep her promise, right?"

"Doesssn't mean she hasss to do whatever you want…"

"Well, you get my point. She's supposed to at least TRY being my girlfriend, anyway."

"Well Kupo! It looks like things are starting to get interesting, kupo!"

"I'll say. Hey, I'm gonna run downstairs and grab some food. My stomach is killing me."

Phoenix got up to walk out the door, turned to face the door…

"Oh no…"

… And saw a wide-eyed Jullianne standing there in the doorway. She turned and bolted.

"That'sss not good."

"No kidding, kupo!"

But Phoenix hadn't heard either of their comments, because he was racing after the fleeing Veira, mutinous stomach and all.

A/N: Blah! I know it wasn't very long (and probably wasn't very good either ), but I was desperate to throw something out there for you guys to chew on so you didn't get tired of waiting for so long. Sorry 'bout that. I'll try to get the next one up ASAP and hopefully throw in that lil' songfic I mentioned at the beginning of this chapter.