Title: The Past and Pending

Characters: Lloyd, Kratos

Themes:#66 – Shoulder learning by experience, #46 – Homecoming (visiting ones parents)

"Over two thousand years ago, sailors found another method to rely on when in case their ship's compass was washed overboard. Can anyone tell me what method this was?" Raine looked about the classroom. As usual, Genis had his hand up. Nora who sat on the back row was sitting just that bit straighter as though she knew the answer as well. She was just about to ask Nora for the answer when someone else piped up unprompted instead.

"You can use the stars. Well, the North star mostly. The…the…Polis?" Raine was astonished. Lloyd was actually paying attention and remembered the answer to a question?

"Close," she said, ever an encouraging teacher. "It's actually Polaris, but well done Lloyd, you are otherwise correct." She turned her attention back to the rest of the class, catching Colette flashing a pleased smile back at Lloyd.

"Class, pay attention now. The North Star, or Polaris, is seen to be the central point of the night sky. It is always in the north and as though it was a pivot, the other stars revolve around it. If you ever find yourselves lost, you can always find your way back using Polaris." Raine said. "Now, does anyone know of any legends connected to Polaris or any of the other constellations we've covered?" A few hands raised, including Lloyd's for once.

oOo

"Alright, that's enough for today. Class is dismissed," Raine said. The children made their way out of the old wooden schoolhouse with surprisingly minimal pushing and shoving. Lloyd, Colette and Genis were talking at the back as they usually did, waiting for the door to clear. Raine walked over to join them.

"Lloyd," she said and the boy in question looked at her with something close to fear in her eyes. She supposed she was a bit harsh in the classroom, but then it was for their benefit. "You seem to know a lot about stars. Why is that?" Raine asked. Lloyd shrugged.

"I...find them interesting, I guess," he said flippantly, though he still sounded slightly worried. Raine nodded understandingly.

"Nurture that interest, Lloyd. Stars are very useful things to know about. It is a shame though that you don't take the same interest in everything else we study," Raine said sardonically. Lloyd grimaced.

"Professor," he groaned. Colette giggled and even Genis looked quite amused.

"But tell me, Lloyd, when did you get such a fascination with them?" Raine asked curiously. Lloyd shrugged again, frowning.

"I'm not sure, exactly. Ever since I can I remember, I've liked them," he said. "I'd better start getting home if you don't mind, professor. It starts getting dark quite early at the moment and Dad said I had to be back before then." Raine nodded and dismissed the trio. Outside, the dusk truly was settling in already.

"I'll wait here for Sis. See you guys tomorrow," Genis waved. Colette also waved goodbye and set off for her own house in the town. Lloyd all but ran home through the ever-deepening darkness of Iselia Forest.

oOo

Lloyd leant on the fence post, breathing heavily from his run. IT was well and truly dark by now and Lloyd hoped his Dad wouldn't be too annoyed. He straightened, mustering his courage and walked up to the front door. Before he could push it open, the door swung inwards and Lloyd found himself eye to eye with Dirk, his adoptive father.

"Where have yer been, Lloyd?" he asked. "I was getting concerned. Well, come on in quickly then." Dirk ushered his young son in. The boy smiled apologetically.

"Professor Raine kept us late and then I stopped to talk to Colette and Genis. I forgot the time, I'm sorry," he mumbled. Dirk sighed and patted him on the head.

"Well, there's no harm done. There's some stew on the stove if you want," he said. Lloyd turned to the large black pot over the fire.

"And uh…Lloyd?" Dirk called. "Do you want to come out and stargaze a bit later before you go to bed?" he asked, almost hopefully. Lloyd appeared to consider it. He scuffed a foot on the floorboards. Stars...

"No thanks, Dad. I'm really tired tonight after that run," he laughed, a cheerful grin on his face. It did seem a little forced. "Maybe tomorrow if it's still clear?" Dirk shrugged, the smile hopeful fading slightly.

"Ah well, son. Enjoy your meal and sleep well. I'll be outside if need anything," Dirk murmured and calmly walked out, closing the front door softly behind him.

"I'm sorry, Dad…" Lloyd muttered, more to himself than anything, seeing as the man had already left.

oOo

Lloyd thought later, lying in bed and staring out at the stars through curtain-less windows, that he did remember something of the beginning of his fascination with the tiny pinpricks of light. He didn't remember all that much; it was from a very long time ago, especially by a small child's standard of memory and perception of time.

He distantly remembered a time, a night when the stars had shined as brightly as this. His chubby hands waving at them. He had tried to reach them, straining on the shoulders he sat on. They were broad shoulders, tough and sturdy and comfortable. His legs hung either side of a head, a faceless head. He couldn't remember who it was, but Lloyd remembered resting his face in the tousled dark hair.

An unknown man with a little boy on his shoulders, both staring at the sky.

"Lloyd, look up there."

A callused hand –a hand used to the feel of a weapon - pointing to the brightest star in the night sky.

"Star," a childish clapping of glee, knowing that you're right.

"That's right. They're stars. Little spots of magic in the sky,"

An indefinitely long pause. A blank spot.

We should be getting back, Lloyd. Your mother's going to be worried."

A small head shaking in defiance and tiny, chubby hands raised to the sky.

"Star,"

A head shaking in exasperation.

"I suppose five more minutes couldn't hurt. You'll have to learn this at some point anyway."

A long finger pointing at the brightest star in the sky.

"That's the north star, Polaris. Can you say that, Lloyd? Polaris?"

"Po…rice?"

A barking, amused laugh.

"No, no. Polaris. If you follow that star, you'll always find your way back home."

"To mama,"

"…yes. To mama. Now what about that group of stars? What do they look like?"

A finger tracing an outline.

"…Spoon?"

Laughter.

"Close enough. Some people call it the 'big dipper' or the 'plough'. It's actually a little part of an even bigger shape."

A finger tracing a much bigger outline.

"It's called 'Ursa Major', or the 'Great Bear' if you like."

A light-hearted giggle and clapping of small hands.

"Bear! Bear!"

"Now what about that one?"

A finger touching the sky once again. A face turning back and up to look at their son. Eyes tilting downwards to look at their creator, only to see…

…a blank. Absolutely nothing. Lloyd tried to remember, but just couldn't see the face. The face of the father he had obviously once had. Who knew where he was and who he was? It still slightly frustrated the young boy. That memory…his father had obviously cared. So what had happened? And why couldn't he remember his mother at all?

It just wasn't fair, to have memories of one parent and not the other. Dad had found only Lloyd and his mother. What had happened to that man from his memory? And just who was he? Lloyd had all but forgotten. But now, staring at the stars through the window, he remembered again. Lloyd wasn't sure he wanted to. Stars had become something of a sore subject, yet he couldn't quell his fascination with them.

And maybe, deep down, he didn't want to. Maybe a part of him still wanted to acknowledge his true father, the one who sired him.

But then there was Dirk. The dwarf had looked after him and raised him well. He hadn't needed to; he could have left the dead woman and her baby for someone else. He could have given Lloyd to someone else from the village, at least. But no. Dirk had raised the boy as his own. Where had this nameless, faceless man been all this time?

What defined a true father? A true Dad?

Lloyd rose to look properly out of the window. Down below, Dirk was sitting out on the outside bench, looking up at the sky. He seemed deep in thought. Lloyd closed his eyes and smiled briefly before darting downstairs and out into the chilly night air. Dirk jumped as Lloyd slammed the door behind him and sat down next to him on the bench.

"Lloyd? What're yer doing dressed like that out here? Yer'll catch yer death of cold at this time o' night," he said. Lloyd shrugged to suppress a shiver.

"I wanted to look at the stars with you, Dad," he replied simply.

"Ah, I see." Dirk looked uncomfortable, but a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and his eyes grew warmer. Lloyd was less cold just by looking at them, he felt.

"You know what that constellation is?" Lloyd asked, eager to impress. Dirk smiled knowingly and, the ever encouraging and nurturing parent that he was shook his head.

"Why don't you teach me about the stars then, son?"

oOo

Well, now. Here I am again after a whole month. Nanowrimo took a lot out of me, so this was quite hard to write. I'm just getting back into the swing of things so any kind of review is appreciated right now XD

I think Dirk would be quite uncomfortable with the idea of Kratos existing, no matter how understanding he might be, and a kid is bound to wonder, right? The memory is set sometime after Anna and Kratos are…travelling, and before the…incident. Yes. Well, just in case, hehe…

RobinRocks, I swear I'll do that Sheena one for you soon. I promise.