CHAPTER ELEVEN: DEGRADATION
The day had started off well enough, except for Harry's sudden announcement, but Buffy knew that it would go downhill the second she stepped into the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. She'd had an otherwise all right morning session, greeting old friends and year-mates, and having a Potions lesson, where thankfully she wasn't picked on for being a Gryffindor. Professor Snape refused to favour her on the grounds of her House, but he couldn't bring himself to take off points, even if her potion was slightly off.
Of course, now that she had a DADA lesson with Umbridge, she definitely wasn't looking forward to it. She took a seat beside Lee Jordan, who had begun automatically rubbing his hand, a scowl on his face as he recalled his detention with Umbridge.
"Hem hem."
Buffy rolled her eyes and watched with disgust as Umbridge walked into the classroom as though she owned the castle. She took a seat and looked out at the class, her eyes coming to settle on Buffy. This could only end badly, and Buffy was trying to remember the advice she'd given Harry earlier. Keep your cool, and don't lose control.
"Miss Summers," Umbridge greeted coolly. "Welcome back."
Buffy flashed the woman a polite smile. She silently tried to work out whether or not Umbridge was worse than Snyder, and then realised that they'd probably be perfect for each other in a gross and creepy sort of way. She shuddered even thinking about it.
"I trust we won't have any problems behaving, will we?" Umbridge asked, her high-pitched voice sickly sweet.
"No, we won't," Buffy replied. Beneath her breath, and only for Lee's hearing she muttered 'you might, I won't.'
Lee coughed into his hand, trying not to laugh, and Buffy managed to keep a straight and completely innocent face. She'd learnt from the best about lying to get out of trouble. The twins were phenomenal storytellers, and they'd taught her everything she'd needed to know. Plus, she'd managed to keep her aunt in the dark about her Slaying the entire time she'd stayed with her.
"Good to know," Umbridge said. "I'm sure with the proper instruction, you'll be rehabilitated in no time."
Her friends all straightened in their seats, bristling at the insult towards their newly returned friend.
"I'm sure Professor McGonagall will provide adequate rehabilitation for me. She was always very keen to provide guidance," Buffy replied, barely blinking as she kept a straight face.
Umbridge seemed to have no come back for that, and instead turned to look at the rest of the class.
"Alright, wands away, and quills out."
Buffy looked to Lee, slightly perplexed. She was used to a very hands-on approach to DADA. They'd never been told to put their wands away for a lesson. Lee rolled his eyes and nodded, pulling out some parchment. Buffy sighed and followed suit, though after having lived in the muggle world for so long, she couldn't give up the convenience of a pen, rather than the quill.
"Hem hem. Miss Summers, what do you call that?" Umbridge asked.
"A pen Professor," Buffy replied absently as she straightened the pieces of parchment and opened her book to the page indicated on the board.
"And why are you not using a quill like all the other students?"
"I can use a pen if I choose to," Buffy replied calmly. "I knows the Hogwarts rules back to front. 'If students desire to use muggle implements to aid in their schooling, they are welcome to'. Rule four hundred and seventy three."
The room looked at Buffy in awe, wondering if she was going to get away with that. Umbridge's eyes narrowed, and she walked to her desk, opening up a rather thin book. "Rule four hundred and seventy three," Umbridge stated.
The other Seventh Years looked at Buffy panicked, wondering whether she had been bluffing or not. The Slayer winked at them and sat in her chair with a look of calm on her face, her pen tapping against the desk, just to prove a point while being horribly annoying.
Umbridge's eyes bugged slightly as she read the rule that had appeared in front of her. She looked up at Buffy, shocked that the Slayer had been correct about what rule it was, and the exact wording of it as well.
"Very well then," Umbridge replied grudgingly.
Buffy held back a smirk, but the twins were grinning in absolute glee. They'd known that having their old friend back would be entertaining.
"Chapter fifteen today then," Umbridge instructed them. "And I will have complete silence."
The students rolled their eyes, but knew better than to argue. A lot of the students were sporting sore hands, and had quickly learnt that it was no worth the hassle of arguing with the nazi-like woman.
Buffy skimmed over the page, wondering why they even bothered showing up to DADA if all they were learning was things they had covered back in First Year. She wasn't about to rock the boat though, and read the chapter in silence. Glancing around the room discreetly, she noticed the bored and angry looks of her fellow classmates. The twins winked at her when she caught their gaze. She rolled her eyes before looking back down at the book.
If this was what the rest of their Seventh Year was going to be like, they were going to be in a lot of trouble, come exam time. She knew that she wouldn't be taking the exams, her grandfather had told her that she would need to catch up on the work she'd missed before taking the NEWTs, but she was worried about the rest of the class.
It was a long two hours later that they were released from the torture chamber, and they eagerly raced out of the classroom.
"That can't seriously be what the rest of the year's been like, can it?" Buffy asked incredulously as they made their way down to the Great Hall for lunch.
"It is," Angelina replied, rolling her eyes. "She's a nightmare."
"She's worse than a nightmare," Alicia commented. "I think I'd prefer to have a nightmare over her."
"Good point," Angelina agreed. "Plus all these stupid Educational Decrees that the Ministry have made up. Honestly…High Inquisitor of Hogwarts."
"She'll be aiming for Dumbledore's job next," Lee said darkly.
"I'm out of here if that ever happens," Fred commented.
"Same," George agreed. "I swear, if she wasn't so quick to give detentions, I'd be tempted to give her a nose-bleeding nougat."
The others grinned at the mental image that George's suggestion conjured. They entered the noisy Great Hall and quickly found seats at the Gryffindor Table. Buffy took a seat between Angelina and Lee, with Katie, Alicia and the twins on the opposite side of the table.
"So…who's got plans for the holidays?" Buffy asked curiously.
"Home," the twins replied in unison.
"I'm stuck here for the holidays," Alicia said sadly.
"So'm I," Katie said.
"Back home for me," Angelina said.
"Undecided," Lee replied.
"Undecided?" the twins asked.
"I'm just not sure yet," Lee said with a shrug.
Katie, Alicia and Angelina exchanged grins, knowing just why Lee wasn't entirely certain of where he would be for the holidays. They thought it was tremendously cute.
"What about you Buffy?" Angelina asked. "Are you staying around Hogwarts with your granddad or what?"
"Visiting family actually," Buffy replied honestly.
She'd never had the courage to tell her friends exactly where her parents were. She knew that Neville was in the same boat and hadn't told his friends that his parents had been in St Mungo's for the last fourteen years. It hurt to talk about them, and seeing them was bittersweet.
There was a slight lull in conversation as their lunch appeared in front of them, and they begin digging in to the veritable feast before them.
"So, we're still on for this afternoon right?" Angelina asked Buffy. "Or are you going to chicken out?"
Buffy scowled at her friend. Angelina definitely knew how to play Buffy like a finely tuned instrument. Buffy could never turn down a challenge, and by phrasing it as a dare, Buffy had no choice but to prove Angelina wrong.
"Yeah, we're still on," Buffy replied. "Except I don't have a broom."
"I'd lend you mine, but Umbridge confiscated it," Fred said miserably.
"You could try talking her into giving our brooms back to us," George said with a grin. "You were pretty brilliant this afternoon."
"How did you know what number that rule was?" Katie asked curiously.
Buffy just grinned and shrugged. "Whenever I came and visited my granddad when I was little, I always thought the rule book was fascinating. You couldn't see the rules unless you told it the numbers, so I'd play around with it. I had half of them memorised before I even started First Year."
"Any rules to stop Umbridge confiscating our brooms?" Fred asked hopefully.
Buffy bit into her sandwich and chewed it thoughtfully, going over the hundreds of rules that she'd had memorised by the time she was eleven.
"Two hundred and sixteen. 'Confiscated goods are to be returned to their owners unless the item is dangerous, harmful or otherwise unsafe to either the owner, or to other students. Students may request the return of confiscated items after thirty days.' How long has it been since you played Slytherin?" Buffy asked.
"Six weeks," the twins replied in unison, torn between being miserable, and being overjoyed at the thought of having their brooms back.
"Tell you what, if you can convince Umbridge to give us our brooms back, we'll convince Harry to let you borrow his Firebolt," Fred said, grinning and rubbing his hands together.
"Shouldn't Harry have a say in this?" asked a new voice to the conversation.
The twins turned to look over their shoulder.
"Harry!" "Mate!" "Friend!" "Compadre!"
The others snickered at the twins over-compensatory behaviour.
"Look, if Buffy can convince Umbridge to give us our brooms back, you'd let her borrow your Firebolt, right?" Fred asked.
Harry grinned easily and nodded. "Of course. I'd pay good money to see Buffy talk Umbridge into giving them back."
"No guarantees," Buffy replied.
"I've seen you talk your way out of cauldron scrubbing with Snape, Buffy," Lee said in awe. "No one manages to get out of that."
"Yeah, but Professor Snape actually likes me," Buffy reminded him. "You know, I've got that surrogate niece thing happening for me. Umbitch…oh, sorry, Umbridge hates me."
The others snickered at the 'slip' of tongue.
"Accurate description," George complimented her.
"But you'll try won't you?" Fred asked.
"Have I ever backed down from a challenge before?" Buffy asked with a gleam in her eyes.
Those that saw the gleam knew that it meant trouble. And the Gryffindors couldn't wait to see what was going to happen with Buffy in one corner and Umbridge in the other. It would be the tournament of the century, and none of them wanted to miss it.
----------------------
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Hermione asked worriedly.
"It'll be fine," Buffy assured the girl. "As long as everyone keeps their tempers."
Harry ducked his head under Buffy's pointed stare, his cheeks burning slightly.
"I'll behave," he assured her.
"Good. Because Umbridge does not want you at this school anymore than she wants me here, so we're both on our very bestest behaviour," she reminded him.
"That's not a word," Hermione reprimanded her.
"Not the point 'Mione," Buffy replied absently. "Now…Harry, you're with me, Hermione you're the calming influence for me and Harrykins here."
Hermione nodded and Harry took a deep breath. He had never come to Umbridge's office voluntarily before, and it felt strange to be standing there now. He just had to remember to keep his cool. Harry nodded at Buffy who knocked at the door.
They waited several moments before the door swung open, and Umbridge looked out at them expectantly.
"Can I help you?" she asked, her high voice grating on all of their nerves.
"I've come to ask for my broomstick back," Harry replied.
"And you needed an entourage for that?" Umbridge asked, an eyebrow raised.
Hermione pressed her hand to Harry's back, reminding him to remain calm. Harry breathed deeply and forced himself to remain on topic rather than fly off the rails.
"We're about to head outside together, so we volunteered to tag along with Harry," Buffy replied in explanation.
"Interesting," Umbridge replied, though she sounded anything but interested. "Now, Mr Potter, as to the request of your broomstick back, I'm afraid that's not possible."
"Why's that Professor?" Harry asked.
"You were issued a life-long ban on Quidditch Mr Potter," Umbridge reminded him, a kindly smile on her face that made Harry want to clench his hand into a fist and punch her with all of his strength.
"But that doesn't mean he's been banned from flying, Professor," Buffy pointed out calmly.
"No, it doesn't, but I am still entitled to confiscate whatever items I wish to confiscate," Umbridge said. "Mr Potter broke the rules, and he must be taught a lesson."
"We're not arguing that Professor," Buffy said, seeing Harry about to jump in to argue. "All Harry wants is his broom back. He's not asking for his position on the Quidditch Team to be returned. His broom has nothing to do with the Quidditch ban."
"I'm afraid I'm still unconvinced," Umbridge said. "I am entitled to confiscate property from students."
"And according to the Hogwarts school rules, Harry is entitled to have his confiscated items returned to him after thirty days unless that object is unsafe or harmful to other students. And seeing as it's a broomstick that has been approved by the Ministry for students and International Quidditch Players to use, you can hardly classify it as being dangerous," Buffy said.
Umbridge looked at the girl in silence. Buffy was careful to school her features into an unreadable mask. Fred and George had been the first to teach her to remain calm in all situations, but Merrick and Giles had been masters at it, and she'd perfected her skills at manipulation and subterfuge under their tutelage.
"Unless of course you wanted to confiscate all the brooms from everyone in the school," she added as a final nail in the coffin.
Umbridge looked less than impressed, and Harry was struggling to keep from laughing. It was only Hermione's sharp pinch to the arm that kept him from beginning to snicker. The DADA Professor looked less than impressed as she pivoted on one foot and walked into her office towards where three broomsticks were chained to the wall. She took out a key and unlocked the padlock, grudgingly handing over Harry's Firebolt.
"You realise that the ban on you, Mr Potter, is also inclusive of any and all practices," Umbridge said, wanting to remain on top of the argument, even though it was clear that she'd lost. "If I discover you participating in any Quidditch practices, your broom will be confiscated once more."
"And if Harry were to train the new Gryffindor Seeker, outside of Quidditch Practice?" Buffy asked. "It technically has nothing to do with Quidditch itself, and will have no bearing on the training sessions with the team."
"You are pushing the boundaries Miss Summers," Umbridge warned.
"It's a valid question Professor," Buffy argued. "If you happened to see Harry helping the new Gryffindor Seeker, and giving them pointers, it's not technically playing Quidditch."
"Desist, Miss Summers," Umbridge said angrily. "Mr Potter, you may not train with any Quidditch Team. Giving pointers to the new Seeker is, as Miss Summers so kindly pointed out, not considered to be training, so yes, not doubt you will be giving aid to the new Seeker, but if I see you personally catch the Golden Snitch, your broom will be making its way back between the Weasley twins."
"Actually, Professor, I'm also here on behalf of the twins," Buffy said. "They're requested, in writing, that they wish for the return of their brooms in accordance with rule number two hundred and sixteen."
Umbridge nearly growled, and all but threw the twins' brooms into the hands of Buffy and Hermione. Without another word, the trio walked out of the office, waiting until they heard the angry slamming of the door behind them before they burst into peals of laughter.
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Holy smoke…an update!