(disclaimer: Krum is gay and Harry has a lesbian girlfriend. Steal my ideas and I'll put YOU in the story! And you'll be doin something real baad………………)

Chapter Four:

Where were we? Oh yeah, the whole of Gryffindor was signing the school song, and Krum was effing himself, and I was in bed with that weirdo who spoke 2 u back in chapter three.

Anyway I'm gonna stop picking on Krum for now, and move on to someone else. This chapter is on……………………………………………..

(Author: coffee break! Whooo!

Weirdo: you're telling me. This story's been going downhill. What happened to it being a one-shot?

Author: I lost my job after spending an entire day planning on how to kill you.

Weirdo: what!

Author pulls out a knife and starts chasing the weirdo around, laughing like a maniac.

Author: hahahahahahahahaha!

Weirdo: ahhhh! Save me mommy!

Author: I am your mommy!

Weirdo: ok then.

Author and weirdo fall into bed. Hermione Granger comes over to the computer.

Hermione: If she can be an author so can I!

She deletes all of chapter four that the author has written so far, and sits down. She types out something called The True Confession Of Hermione Granger.

Author: gets up off weirdo you can see Hermione's confession as the next chapter! For now enjoy this chapter, we know it was am rip off, but whatever!

She kicks Hermy off the computer.)

This story is about a magical version of queer eye for the straight guy.

One day at Hogwarts Harry was in the common room naked when three gay guys came in.

Gay One: Harry Potter, I'm Gertrude Gaygo, (points to gay dude 2) that's Sally Dude, and that guy is Melissa Mylittleponylover. We're looking to recruit you to help us out.

Sally: yeah we're here

Melissa: to do a makeover on your headmaster.

Gertrude: but our regular other gay dude hasn't been seen since he went home with his hot she-male brother last night.

Sally: so we want you

Melissa: to join us

The Queer Eye For The Straight Guy theme plays

Harry: how'd you get it to do that? I've trying to play Nikki Webster music for weeks!

They take Harry off and five hours later he comes back wearing a tutu.

Harry: I'm not really comfortable in this.

Ron; He's not comfortable in any clothes, really.

Melissa: you can always just wear some My Little Pony underwear.

Harry: wouldn't it be girl's underwear though?

Hermione: well you wear girl's underwear anyway. Just wear your My Little Pony bra as well.

Harry cheers.

Next chapter: Hermione's confession and then, either in the same chapter or the one after that, Dumbledore's makeover.