Author Notes: Hello again, everyone! Enjoy this next chapter, but be warned it's 80% crack and 20% fluff :)

- Chapter Start -

A sigh breaks the silence, doleful and despondent.

"A-Xu."

Silence followed by a tiny wriggle.

"A-Xu."

Another sigh sounds, this time emanating from a different pair of lips.

"Lao Wen, don't you dare complain. This was your big idea, remember?"

"I know. I just... this isn't how I envisioned our first time to be."

The pout is so obvious, it deserves to be mentioned.

"Shut up. I refuse to let it be our first time."

"But we're horizontal and we're naked and we're embracing."

"We're also not alone. Hush!"

"It's fine. The old monster's fever's so high he can't hear us."

"It's not fine, but thank heavens for small mercies," Zhou ZiShu says fervently if a tad hysterically.

He prays that Wen KeXing is right and that Ye BaiYi is too out of it to know what's happening right now. He doesn't want to answer any questions about why the two of them are lying on the floor of one of the smaller rooms with Ye BaiYi between them, face buried in Wen KeXing's broad shoulder and Zhou ZiShu plastered to Ye BaiYi's back from neck to knee, and everywhere in between.

And all three of them as naked as the day they were born.

If anyone should barge in on them now... squeezing his eyes shut, Zhou ZiShu shudders.

No, it's just the three of them here. It's fine.

No, it's not fine!

"A-Xu, relax or you'll get premature wrinkles around your pretty eyes."

Zhou ZiShu tips his head up to glare at him.

"Tell anyone about this, Lao Wen, and I swear I'll kill you even though I love you."

He gets another doleful chuckle, the warm huff teasing his bangs.

"If I tell anyone about this, I'll kill myself. You won't have to sully those beautiful hands of yours."

Zhou ZiShu rolls his eyes. He feels another blush rising in his face although it's hard to tell with how much heat Ye BaiYi is radiating. His front feels... well, lightly scorched. Like a piece of meat held too close to a fire.

He puts a bit of space between them, hoping to let some air circulate, but Ye BaiYi gives a protesting whimper and a hip wiggle which almost fries Zhou ZiShu's brains and not in a good way. Closing his mind to what he's doing, he closes the gap between them once more, giving a mental apology to any of his sensitive bits that are overheating right now.

At least the stark horror of the position he's in keeps any bodily reactions to a big fat zero. Which is about the only good thing in this crazy, upside down situation. Nothing in his ten years of being in the Window of Heaven has prepared him for this!

"Lao Wen, are you absolutely sure this is the best solution?" He asks, not for the first time, or even the second.

"Not the best, but the most efficient," Wen KeXing repeats his answer. Then he gives a teasing smile.

"Why, is the ex-leader of the Window of Heaven feeling... shy?"

Zhou ZiShu hides his scowl in the back of Ye BaiYi's head. His silence is answer enough for Wen KeXing gives a soft, delighted laugh.

"No wonder my A-Xu isn't scared of ghosts. He is a male virgin!"

"Shut up," Zhou ZiShu hisses, face getting redder by the second. "It was by choice! Not for a lack of options!"

A hand glides over his bare arm under the blanket up to his shoulder before cupping his cheek.

"Something I confess I'm very glad about," Wen KeXing vows, voice low and sweet.

Zhou ZiShu raises his head again and narrows his eyes at his soulmate.

"Oh? And I suppose the ex-leader of Ghost Valley has a vast amount of experience?"

Wen KeXing blinks and to Zhou ZiShu's astonishment, blushes a delicate pink. He looks away and then back at him, giving a discreet cough.

"Do you really think...? A-Xu, I couldn't let down my guard, not even for an instant. I also had A-Xiang to protect."

Zhou ZiShu stares at him.

"Oh. But you said you were scared of ghosts that one time," he says, not bothering to explain which time he meant.

"I wanted to cling to you," Wen KeXing admits with a most disarming smile.

Zhou ZiShu has the urge to roll his eyes and kiss him senseless at the same time.

"Are you sure Senior Ye can't hear us?" He asks instead.

"Very. He should be delirious right now. Even if he's keeping quiet."

"Be glad for small mercies," Zhou ZiShu tells him.

"I am. I have no interest in learning what secrets this old monster keeps."

Despite his words, the long fingers stroking the white streaked hair remain gentle.

"He'll still age though," Wen KeXing adds.

"Faster than us?"

"Yes."

Zhou ZiShu sighs again and moves his head back and forth, caressing the bare arm it's resting on - Wen KeXing's right arm. Zhou ZiShu's right hand strokes the same head of white streaked hair, fingers brushing his soulmate's.

"He's still shivering. I'll give him more energy."

Long fingers grasped his around Ye BaiYi's hair, careful not to pull on the strands.

"We both will," Wen KeXing says. "He saved us both."

Zhou ZiShu smiles at him.

"Agreed."

Over Ye BaiYi's head, their lips meet in a brief kiss. Then they each press a palm to Ye BaiYi's shoulder and back and channel more qi into him.

- Chapter End -

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment if you enjoyed this chapter :)