Mega Man X: Admissions
Chapter 22
(Season 3)
The morning was crisp and dry. X, Alia, and Zero, had decided to wait a day before heading off to the ruins of Doctor Light's lab. X was, as normal, sitting on the HQ roof, watching the sunrise. Many thoughts crept into his head, most of Alia, but one thought had him worried.
"What if I'm right?" X asked himself. He knew who 'Limit' was, but not why he was around or why he was even still alive. "If he's still alive, what about the others?"
"What others?"
X turned around in surprise to see Alia walking towards him. "Oh, um, nothing, really!" X said, getting to his feet quickly.
Alia frowned, she knew when X was pulling a fast one on her, she HAD been his spotter for some time now. "I'm sure." She said as looked past X into the sunrise. "But what are you doing up?"
X pointed to his head with two fingers. "Two processors, remember? I don't have to sleep."
Alia nodded. That little detail had slipped her mind. "Oh, yeah."
X laughed. "But what about you? Why are you up?"
"Couldn't sleep." Alia said. She joined X on the edge of the roof smiled. The sunrise was brilliant. Streaks of bright reds, dull yellows, and a blue setting in made it almost picture perfect. As the sun rose into the sky Alia hugged X's arm and put her head on his shoulder.
"Something on your mind?" X asked, his eyes not leaving the sunrise.
Alia sighed, "It's nothing, really." Alia insisted.
"Its something about the missions isn't it?" X said, his voice with a gentle understanding tone.
"I... this is going to sound silly, I know it... just, is fighting really like that simulation? Is it really so informal that you do it with as much ruthlessness as in the simulation?" Alia asked. She wasn't sure how X would take her comment. It was a long while before X spoke again.
"War is hell Alia. Hell on Earth. If fighting were as informal and easy as a simulation, the wars would be over and done with in no time. Ever reploid or mechanoid I've killed or watched die is burned into my memory. Every time I close my eyes I see them. I feel the pain they felt as I destroyed them. I see the fear in their eyes right before the light in their eyes diminish and fade away into darkness. Many of the reploids I killed I've know personally, which makes it even harder to perform the deed. But the worse part no one can understand." X said, his eyes never leaving the sunrise.
"What's that?" Alia said.
"Do you know what it is like to kill your own child?" X said, finally turning towards Alia.
Alia was confused. She wasn't quite sure what X meant by what he said. "Child? What does that have to do with..."
Alia stopped, realizing at last what X meant. "Oh, oh my..."
"I know all to well what it is like to kill your own child. Every reploid in the world, you, Sigma, Signis, all of them, are based off of me. They are like my own flesh and blood, my kin. It is so hard to forget that they are the same as I am. I sometimes wonder if its worth it. When the war is over, I don't know how I'm going to gain forgiveness for my actions." X said. He looked at Alia, his warm eyes glazed over with a layer of ice. Alia couldn't bare it. After hearing what X had to say she felt so shallow, so inept to what war was really about. The pain she had seen while being a spotter was nothing compared to what X felt everyday. She had always brushed it off, forgetting about it by the next battle, but X kept it all inside. She wondered if perhaps that's where he got his will to fight from. She also wondered if perhaps the need to be forgiven was what had drawn her to X all those years ago. She wanted so much to say something to X that would get close to the words he had spoken. She wanted so much to help him through the pain. She hoped and she wished, but couldn't find the words. She could only muster one thing to say.
"I forgive you X, and I always will."
Chapter 22
(Season 3)
The morning was crisp and dry. X, Alia, and Zero, had decided to wait a day before heading off to the ruins of Doctor Light's lab. X was, as normal, sitting on the HQ roof, watching the sunrise. Many thoughts crept into his head, most of Alia, but one thought had him worried.
"What if I'm right?" X asked himself. He knew who 'Limit' was, but not why he was around or why he was even still alive. "If he's still alive, what about the others?"
"What others?"
X turned around in surprise to see Alia walking towards him. "Oh, um, nothing, really!" X said, getting to his feet quickly.
Alia frowned, she knew when X was pulling a fast one on her, she HAD been his spotter for some time now. "I'm sure." She said as looked past X into the sunrise. "But what are you doing up?"
X pointed to his head with two fingers. "Two processors, remember? I don't have to sleep."
Alia nodded. That little detail had slipped her mind. "Oh, yeah."
X laughed. "But what about you? Why are you up?"
"Couldn't sleep." Alia said. She joined X on the edge of the roof smiled. The sunrise was brilliant. Streaks of bright reds, dull yellows, and a blue setting in made it almost picture perfect. As the sun rose into the sky Alia hugged X's arm and put her head on his shoulder.
"Something on your mind?" X asked, his eyes not leaving the sunrise.
Alia sighed, "It's nothing, really." Alia insisted.
"Its something about the missions isn't it?" X said, his voice with a gentle understanding tone.
"I... this is going to sound silly, I know it... just, is fighting really like that simulation? Is it really so informal that you do it with as much ruthlessness as in the simulation?" Alia asked. She wasn't sure how X would take her comment. It was a long while before X spoke again.
"War is hell Alia. Hell on Earth. If fighting were as informal and easy as a simulation, the wars would be over and done with in no time. Ever reploid or mechanoid I've killed or watched die is burned into my memory. Every time I close my eyes I see them. I feel the pain they felt as I destroyed them. I see the fear in their eyes right before the light in their eyes diminish and fade away into darkness. Many of the reploids I killed I've know personally, which makes it even harder to perform the deed. But the worse part no one can understand." X said, his eyes never leaving the sunrise.
"What's that?" Alia said.
"Do you know what it is like to kill your own child?" X said, finally turning towards Alia.
Alia was confused. She wasn't quite sure what X meant by what he said. "Child? What does that have to do with..."
Alia stopped, realizing at last what X meant. "Oh, oh my..."
"I know all to well what it is like to kill your own child. Every reploid in the world, you, Sigma, Signis, all of them, are based off of me. They are like my own flesh and blood, my kin. It is so hard to forget that they are the same as I am. I sometimes wonder if its worth it. When the war is over, I don't know how I'm going to gain forgiveness for my actions." X said. He looked at Alia, his warm eyes glazed over with a layer of ice. Alia couldn't bare it. After hearing what X had to say she felt so shallow, so inept to what war was really about. The pain she had seen while being a spotter was nothing compared to what X felt everyday. She had always brushed it off, forgetting about it by the next battle, but X kept it all inside. She wondered if perhaps that's where he got his will to fight from. She also wondered if perhaps the need to be forgiven was what had drawn her to X all those years ago. She wanted so much to say something to X that would get close to the words he had spoken. She wanted so much to help him through the pain. She hoped and she wished, but couldn't find the words. She could only muster one thing to say.
"I forgive you X, and I always will."