ANBU

Upon Sakura's return to Konoha, the death of Sasori was all anyone wanted to talk about… and she was right in the middle of it. It was an odd feeling, being the hero for once. Nurses at the hospital would ask her to recount her epic fight against the big, bad missing nin in order to then retell it to other nurses, each time more epically than last; random shinobi acquaintances would congratulate her on the street or even try to suck up to her; and some of the more important medics of Konoha General were gushing non-stop to anyone who'd listen about the complex procedure Sakura had pulled off 'with just the pathetic excuse of equipment available at Suna', and about her successful creation of an antidote for such a tricky poison in record time.

There was, in fact, a special shelf within the largest lab of Konoha General which was dedicated to Sasori's death. Placed on it was a honorary glass case that contained the extracted poison Sakura had carried in her system upon arrival, and, next to it, the napkin upon which she had hastily scrawled the formula for the antidote before leaving to go after Gaara, back at the Suna lab, when Chiyo had still been alive.

Speaking of the old woman, she was but a footnote in the collective narration of events. Sakura repeatedly told all those who asked her that Chiyo-baa-sama had been just as important to Sasori's capture as Sakura herself, but these claims were largely ignored. She realized then that she could retell her story all day and people would still hear whatever they wanted to hear.

It made her see their entire society in a different light… they didn't care about the truth, they cared about themselves, their village, their pride, their preconceptions. She had always imagined that the fame which came from a real shinobi accomplishment (rather than medicinal ones) would taste like the sweetest ambrosia, but it didn't. Those she talked to about this issue didn't seem to understand, not even Shizune. None of them had known Chiyo like Sakura had. Complaining to Tsunade about people's reactions had given her the odd impression that the woman thought she was being ungrateful. She wasn't. Sakura swore she wasn't. Of course she was proud about her triumph over one of the strongest Akatsuki members, one of the strongest shinobi ever , she would be an idiot not to be; but she also felt cheated and curiously empty. Like she'd done a disservice to Chiyo-baa-sama, who had given her life so selflessly; Chiyo-baa-sama who had been prepared to die for Sakura.

It was for this reason that, rather than bask in the praise that was being showered upon her, two days after she was released from the hospital, Sakura requested to attend the old woman's funeral back at Suna. Tsunade was Not Amused. The funeral would be taking place soon, according to the hawk Gaara had sent her shishou, but the blonde argued that Sakura had just had a close brush with death and was Sakura that eager to have another one? Sakura hadn't understood what she was making such a fuss about. Her mentor was clearly no more a fan of Chiyo than Chiyo had been of her – but that didn't mean she shouldn't let Sakura honor her properly. She continued to pester the woman until, finally, Tsunade heaved a long sigh and acquiesced.

"I'll have to send someone with you," she uttered, almost to herself, "so you don't run into another Akatsuki fucker and die on me."

"I'm not made of glass," Sakura retorted, but was largely ignored.

"Hatake's got a mission in Suna, I could send him over with you… but I'm assuming you don't want him there, do you?"

"That's correct," Sakura said with a scowl. It was, in fact, the understatement of the century.

Tsunade sighed. "Difficult brat." She gave Sakura a shrewd look. "Well, I suppose you could tag along with an ANBU platoon that is also headed toward the area. Last offer, take it or leave it."

Sakura frowned. She really didn't feel like going with the ANBU. For one, they creeped her out. She had heard from Shizune that they always traveled silently and with heavy armor and a mask that made breathing harder, plus they covered insane distances at a breakneck pace and with little rest… not exactly Sakura's ideal way of traveling to Suna – again – but the other option was going with Kakashi. She could just picture how that would go. No sire, she would rather die than have his presence inflicted upon her longer than absolutely necessary.

"Can't I go alone?" she complained petulantly. "You're letting Kakashi travel around the desert on his own, but I need an escort?"

Tsunade gave her a long-suffering look. "First off, like it or not, Hatake is more experienced than you. Second, he's not the one that has just managed to take the life of an Akatsuki member for the first time, you are. Has it not occurred to you that the Akatsuki might want revenge?"

It had not. Sakura's mouth opened slightly.

"B-but – me? I'm so… underwhelming?"

Tsunade rolled her eyes and sighed. "Sakura, you really need to let go of that inferiority complex of yours. People will rightfully call it pathetic and frankly, it's getting old. Now – do you want Hatake or the ANBU?"

"The ANBU," Sakura muttered.

"Fine. Then you'll need a mask and some gear to pass as one of them. Awabi!"

A masked agent appeared before them from whatever hiding place the ANBU crawled into on guard duty.

"Hokage-sama," the man said, bowing curtly, then gave Sakura an expectant look. "Come along."

Sakura nodded and grudgingly followed him out of the office. The guy walked briskly, crossing the street and approaching the Academy. A ways off from it, there was an old shed the children in her year had been leery of because it was haunted, Sakura included. Kiba and Naruto had once knocked on the door as a dare and gotten their hands burnt for their trouble. It was then collectively decided that the Haunted Shed, as they'd called it, should be avoided at all costs because the kuchisake ona lived inside and would burn you with her scissors. She had almost forgotten all about it, a mere remnant of her past, except now the ANBU agent was leading her directly toward the Haunted Shed.

"This," said Sakura dryly. "This is your secret entrance?"

The man said: "It is the more visitor-friendly one."

Sure it was. It was ridiculous, that's what.

"Who came up with the brilliant idea of putting the ANBU headquarters entrance right around the corner of the Academy playground?" Sakura chortled. "Must've been some oddball."

"That would be nidaime-sama." The ANBU appeared unamused.

"Oh."

"Oh indeed," the man quipped. Smug bastard.

Sakura wished he could hear some of the things Tsunade had to say about the guy. Apparently, after her parents had died, Tobirama had done most of the 'raising' of her shishou, whilst Hashirama had taken care of the spoiling. As a result, Tsunade was very familiar with both of them, and particularly Tobirama's many oddities. Whilst Hashirama was mentioned more frequently (perhaps because Tsunade knew that mentioning her relation to him automatically bolstered her status), Sakura had only ever heard her talk about the late nidaime when very drunk (she and Shizune tactfully chose to pretend these moments never happened) but Sakura doubted either of them would ever forget the story of five-year-old Tsunade walking in on the nidaime whilst he was chatting with a corpse he had reanimated. That definitely counted as master levels of oddball.

Sakura was broken out of her reminiscences when she realized that they'd arrived at a locker room of some sort… and that every ANBU in the room was staring at her. There were a lot of ANBU. She was glad it was dark, because she flushed to the roots of her hair. They all looked so badass. More than ever Sakura wished she had some other hair color, that she wasn't so short… that she wasn't herself, really. Suddenly someone tossed something at her and Sakura caught it reflexively, turning to see who'd thrown it. A man in a white coat was the one. She eyed the object in her hands: a white mask.

"Your mask for the trip will be a jellyfish, already decided."

"Huh?" Sakura said dumbly.

"Your hair looks like one," the man explained. "Provisional code name: Kurage."
Seriously? Her ANBU code name and mask was jellyfish? Couldn't she look threatening for once in her life? Was that so much to ask? Sakura wanted to chop all of her hair of till she was bald. A jellyfish? She'd never intimidate anybody with a mask like that! The man then nodded toward a series of metallic boxes stuck to the walls. "There you got some old uniforms. Pick whichever. Can you use a katana?"

Sakura mutely shook her head.

"Well, too bad, 'cause you'll have to carry one. We all do. Standard issue. I suppose we'll give you an old one then."

"Ah, thank you," Sakura said, noting with some relief that she was no longer being stared at. "Who are you?"

The man barked out a laugh. "Heh. Wouldn't you like to know?" He sobered. "You're the hokage's apprentice, so you can call me Kuma-san, little medusa. I'll be on the team headed to Suna with you. You'll get a missive a short while before we leave. As you are not a member of our organization, we cannot afford to risk leaking any information pertaining our mission to you – so be ready at all times."

Sakura nodded and watched as, with these words, Kuma-san turned tail and left the room to talk with a bunch of other ANBU who had been waiting outside. This meant that Sakura was now alone in a foreign place… and she was supposed to try a bunch of uniforms on in front of everyone. Would the other ANBU stare at her mangled skin the same way Kakashi had?

Luckily, a woman who'd been polishing a katana earlier took pity on her and tapped Sakura on her shoulder.

"Yo, Haruno; we heard all about your Akatsuki-slaughtering exploits in yesterday's morning briefing. Did you fight against the fourth Kazekage turned puppet?"

Sakura bit her lip, secretly delighted. "Yeah… well… I did. It would have been really interesting, medically-speaking, if I hadn't been fighting for my life. Did you at least hear about Chiyo-baa-sama's role in the whole thing?" she asked after a moment.

"The old woman? Oh, yeah. We read your report on it. A real tigress, that one."

Sakura almost hugged the agent. "You don't know how happy that makes me. Seriously. And you say all ANBU heard of this?"

"Yep. I think so… My code name's Neko, by the way."

This said, the woman actually proceeded to coach Sakura through adjusting the various straps of the different uniforms (putting on the ANBU uniform was an art form in itself) and instructed her on which katana to pick so as to not stick out like a sore thumb. Sakura observed her thoughtfully. Masked as she was, all she could tell about Neko was that she had lila hair and a sharp tongue, but her actions had been kind.

Once they were done finding her an armor that fit, Neko was nice enough to escort Sakura out of the ANBU HQ, thankfully not through the shed this time. To Sakura's surprise, Neko had stuck around to talk as they walked back to the hustle and bustle of the village, having exited the headquarters through a tunnel close to the Nara forest.

"What, did you think we always go in through there?" she questioned bemusedly, likely noticing Sakura's expression.

Sakura shrugged. "I was a little… surprised. I mean, that shed's so close to the Academy… kids think the kuchisake ona lives in there."

Neko laughed uproariously again. "Silly kids. That's so rich… no, the shed houses another kind of monsters…"

There was an awkward silence.

Sakura searched for something to say. "Eh, yeah. But still! Why put it so close to the Academy? I already told that ANBU earlier – it's crazy."

"Yep, it is. And that's your answer," Neko explained. "It's unexpected. No one would guess one of our most centralized entrances is so close to the Academy. Always expect the unexpected."

"Well, when you put it like that…" Sakura smiled, suddenly feeling a little wistful. "It sounds like something my old sensei used to say: a good shinobi must look underneath the underneath."

It was pretty much the only thing vaguely resembling a lesson Kakashi had instilled into team seven. That, and the teamwork thing, which he had then ignored.

Neko's eyebrows rose. "That's the same thing one of my captains said as well. Who was your sensei?"

"Hatake Kakashi," Sakura replied, mentally berating herself. Why, oh why did she have to steer the conversation in this direction?

"Ha. Unlucky!"

"He was your captain then?" she couldn't help but pry.

"Classified," Neko singsonged.

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Anyway," Neko said. "No wonder you beat Sasori, with the teachers you've had. That Hatake must have been a slave-driver, huh?"

"Not really," Sakura said tartly.

"Well, you're the godaime's girl so your standards for slave driving are probably skewed," said Neko with a shrug. "Not saying Hatake necessarily has anything to do with ANBU – or that he was at any point in time my captain, but… man's a machine."

This, for some reason, pissed Sakura off. Clearly Kakashi was the ANBU captain Neko had just mentioned… and it was also clear that he took his ANBU duties seriously… unlike other matters. Well, it was time to show ANBU how he treated his 'other matters'.

"Well, I doubt Kakashi-sensei was the captain you mentioned since he just sat in a tree and read his porn book all day," Sakura informed, forcing her voice to sound normal. "Slave driver is the farthest he could get from his typical behavior."

"Girl, you're hilarious."

Sakura gave Neko an unamused look.

"Wait, you're serious?"

The ANBU seemed incredulous. Sakura sighed. Honestly… what was she doing? What would talking shit behind Kakashi's back accomplish?

"Not really, no. Just ignore me, okay? Anyway, gotta go… I've got a surgery coming up." She made herself scarce in order to avoid fielding further questions. What a day.