I'm really busy with school this week (midterms are upon me…ahhhh!) So I didn't really get a chance to proof this very well.

Thanks to every for their reviews. They were so uplifting as always!

KM: I really enjoyed the background you gave me on life back in that era. I actually used some of what you said in this chapter (the part about Cal being a coward and such). It was really great and if you have anymore suggestions I would love to hear them.

Sara: As much as Grandfather dislikes Hailey, he is in fact genuine about Sarah and wanting her to be happy. More about that will be revealed soon. Haha but I'm glad you enjoy Harry and George so much! Thanks for the review.

Roxy, Janell, Liz, Annara, Pema, Diaries: Grandfather is wonderful huh? Haha I love having him go from ultra bad guy in Sarah's mind to …well basically a savior. Such a twist lol.

Tipper: Cal…NEXT CHAPTER…I promise lol. I actually miss writing about the little butthead…ohhh but he's so CUTE he nearly gets away with all the bad stuff he does!

MG: So glad I could make your day! You helped me a lot and SO deserved it : )

Again I apologize about the proofing issue. I really am so rushed when I post sometimes that I made the dumbest mistakes. Also I have a new keyboard…one of the cordless ones…and sometimes certain letters stop working…I think I have gremlins or something : )

Chapter 44

April 21, 1912

The next morning, after I had dressed and eaten breakfast and saw to it that the packing of my luggage had started, I went downstairs to Grandfather's office to ask him if I could pay Polly a visit before we left that night. He gave me permission and called for a car while I went to get a coat and hat to wear.

Before we had docked on Thursday Polly had told me that her cousin, Mary Harper, who lived in the city, was going to meet her when we arrived in New York and from what I knew she was still with her cousin. The Harper's lived only a few miles away from my Grandfather, but I was thankful for the fact that he had a car ready for me. The weather that morning wasn't very pleasant; the skies were gray and there was a crisp wind coming in from the east.

When I arrived at the house a few minutes later, the driver opened the door for me and helped me step out onto the sidewalk. I walked up to the front stoop and rang the doorbell and a few seconds later a very stern woman answered the door.

"Yes, may I help you?" she practically snapped at me.

"I'm here to see Mrs. Hansen."

"And who are you?"

"I'm Sarah Wilkes."

She paused for a moment and looked me over and then finally opened the door all the way to let me through. As I walked past her I could feel her eyes on me, checking me over to make sure I was who I said I was.

Thankfully though, once in the house I was greeted by a familiar face. Polly's Grandmother, Mrs. Brooks, came into the hall holding a book in her hand. She was a stout woman, with a kind, round face. I hadn't seen her in quite sometime, but she and Nan had been close for many years so there wasn't much about me that she didn't know.

"Sarah, how nice to see you." she held out her arms and I went into them so she could embrace me and plant a small kiss on my cheek. She then pulled away and held me at arms length, "You look well, my dear. I haven't seen your Grandmother, is she still at the Waldorf."

I nodded, "Yes, she is."

She nodded, "You've come to see Polly, I imagine."

"Yes, I have. How is she?"

Mrs. Brooks sighed, "She's been better, but seeing you will do her a world of good."

"Has she not been well?"

She shook her head, "Far from it, dear. We heard only 2 days ago that they found dear Charles. His body is being sent back here and ever since then she won't eat unless forced to, she refuses to see the children or accept any condolences for him." she paused, and I could see her trying desperately to hide how upset she was, "I'm very worried, Sarah."

I nodded, "I didn't realize this had gone so far. I'm sure I can bring her spirits up though, at least I'll try to." I smiled bravely for her.

She brightened at my words and reached out to squeeze my hand, "You always were a sweet girl, come, I'll take you up to see her."

Although it had only been mere minutes since Mrs. Brooks had told me about Polly I overwhelmed by what I saw when I entered her room. As bad as Aunt Ruth had looked to me the past few days, Polly looked far worse. Her hair was limp and was no longer a vibrant black, but instead a dull, almost gray color. Her skin was white and there were dark circles under her lifeless eyes. She looked like a ghost.

Her appearance was more than a shock to me. I knew Charles' death had upset her, but this was far worse than I had ever expected her to be. I actually found myself frozen to the doorway, afraid to come near her, but then she saw me and I knew that I had to have strength, even if it was only for that moment. I took a breath and came over to her and sat down on the edge of the bed, taking her hand into mind.

"Hello." my voice nearly cracked.

She looked over at me and a faint smile appeared on her face, "You came."

"Of course I did." I smoothed back her hair and smiled warmly at her, "Where else would I be?"

"With your Harry…" she gasped, and sat up quickly "Oh he isn't here with you is he? I'm not dressed for company."

"No, no, he's not. Lay back down, you need your rest." I gently pushed her back down in to the mountain of pillows that she had been lying on and she calmed down.

"He's such a wonderful man, Sarah. You know Charles liked him."

"He did?"

"Oh yes. When he was putting us into the lifeboat, he saw Harry being very direct and level headed about the situation and assured us that we were in safe hands. And then after…he was still so brave and organized. Moving us all into other boats so he could go back and rescue people from the water."

"He did that?" Harry hadn't mentioned anything like that to me. Then again we hadn't talked very much about what had happened that night.

She nodded, "You're very lucky to have him."

That I knew.

"Did you tell your Grandmother about him?"

"Shhh, Polly, I want you to relax, you don't need to worry about me."

She nearly laughed, "Worry? I'm not worried, just envious." her eyes began to fill with tears and she clutched my hand tightly, "I'd give everything I have just for one more moment with Charles. To be in his arms, feel his lips against mine…to have that love so close and not ripped away…"

I brushed away the tears that were running down my face with my free hand and then placed it on top of my other hand that still held tightly to hers, "I'm so sorry." I whispered.

She shook her head, "Don't be. There's nothing to be sorry for. Just don't ever let anyone take your love away from you, human or disaster."

I nodded, taking every word she said to heart. I brought her hand up and kissed it softly. "I love you and I'm always going to be here for you."

She nodded, "I know that and I always be here for you…even when I'm no good to anyone."

"Don't say that," I replied, shaking my head, "You're going to be just fine. When God shuts a door he opens a window…right?"

"You sound like my Grandmother."

I smiled, "I'm just trying to help."

She smiled back, "Well you've succeeded, just having you around has made me feel more like my old self. In fact…I'd like to see the children." she put on a brave smile and I couldn't help but smile back.

"Well, we'd better get you looking presentable then." I replied and helped her get up out of bed and find some decent clothes. As soon as she entered the Eleanor and Robert's room the life and vitality that always emitted from Polly was back. She took them into her arms and kissed them each a thousand times, finally able to face the world without her husband.

"So dinner went well then?"

I took a sip of my coffee and nodded, "A lot better than I expected, that's for sure."

Lights smiled and nodded in agreement, "See you were worried for no reason."

I had to agree with him. The night before I had been in panic; I worried whether or not my boots were shiny enough or maybe even too shiny. I bought a brand new suit and had it pressed a dozen times before it was exactly the way I wanted it. I wanted everything to go as smoothly as possible and to my amazement, it actually did.

Light's and then began to discuss our trip to Washington, which we were leaving for after lunch this afternoon.

"Tell me what the point was in moving us from here to there?" he asked, "Maybe they feel the need to attack our actions on more government-rich soil."

"Come on, Lights, attack?"

"You weren't in there that first day Harry, they're brutal. They were asking about the trial tests we did with her before we sailed and they analyze every answer you give them. You have to be firm and direct when you're up there, it's going to take a lot out of you."

"Who else did they question that first day?"

"Well myself, Captain Rostron…of the Carpathia, Mr. Marconi and Cottam, a steward and oh Bruce Ismay?"

"That name sounds familiar." I remarked, not sure why it did.

He looked at me as if he were waiting for the punch line of a joke I was supposedly telling. I shrugged my shoulders and he shook his head in dismay, "You've worked for White Star Line for how long and you don't know he's the president? I really do worry about you sometimes, lad."

"I didn't even know he was on board." I told him, ignoring his comment, "What does he look like?"

"Brown hair, around your height, mustache, prim and proper gentleman. He was with the skipper quite a bit…yes, more coffee please." he said to the waiter who had approached the table.

Maybe I had seen him, but at the moment I couldn't remember clearly if I had or not.

"Excuse me, Mr. Lowe?"

Both Light's and I looked up from our breakfast and right at Sarah's grandfather. Quickly I stood up, fumbling a bit with my limbs and shook his hand.

"Mr. Wilkes, how nice to see you again."

Lights looked near laughter, but held it in and stood up slowly and expertly and shook hands with him as well. "Charles Lightoller," he told him, "It's very nice to meet you, sir."

"And you, Mr. Lightoller. If you pardon me, I would like to have a word with this young man."

"Oh, it's no trouble. I was just leaving in fact." he turned to me and winked, "See you this afternoon…Mr. Lowe."

I shot him an evil glare as he walked away and Mr. Wilkes took his chair. I sat down quickly with him, trying my best not to disrespect him.

He looked at me, thoughtfully, for a moment and then began to speak, "I'm sorry to come uninvited, I hope I didn't interrupt anything."

I shook my head, "No, sir you didn't."

He nodded and smiled, "Good," he took a deep breath, "I wanted to say first and foremost, Mr. Lowe that I know the relationship between you and my Granddaughter has gone beyond that of a ship's officer and passenger. I know that you think fondly of one another and…"

Oh god, he was going to kill me…

"…I'd like to say that I'm quite pleased."

There was nothing in my mouth, yet I managed to nearly choke when he said that. I reached for my water glass and took a long gulp trying to make the feeling go away. From across the table, Mr. Wilkes looked amused with my reaction.

"Not the answer you were expecting, I gather?"

I shook my head.

He nodded, "Yes, I've successfully managed in keeping many young men away from her that I knew to be no good. I'm sure people have noticed and made their own assumptions. Sarah herself probably even has. But the truth of the matter was that I didn't want my granddaughter to be like every other woman in this damn toffee-nosed society. You knew her cousin, Rose, didn't you?"

"Yes, yes I did."

"Shackles and chains are not something a bride should have to wear while walking down the isle. And that's what Caledon Hockley had her in, I'm not sure if you've met him or not…"

"We've crossed paths." I replied glumly.

"And you seem to have the same opinion of him that I do, which makes me respect you even more." he added with a slight nod, making me feel as if I were actually worthy of his company. The new feeling relaxed me and I felt my body loosen up and I became more attentive to what he was saying.

"His father, Nathan, is far worse…if that's at all possible. His brother, however, is more like his mother. Eugenia is a very lovely woman and Taylor has her same qualities, but even with that considered I was enraged when George informed me last night that Hailey wanted Sarah to marry him.

"I will not have my own flesh and blood become another pawn in Hockley's game. She is a Wilkes and we are known for our perseverance and ability to succeed. The woman on this side of the family married when they themselves chose to. It was never forced. Even my own wife made me wait 6 weeks before answering my marriage proposal." he looked at me with a grin, "To me, that was forever." he added.

I chuckled softly, feeling even more comfortable around him.

"For most of Sarah's life I have been quite cold and distant towards her, for reasons I don't wish to disclose at the moment, but I was. And I owe her this; I owe her the chance at a life she otherwise wouldn't have and yesterday when I saw you two together, I knew that this was my chance. I have to ask, Mr. Lowe…do you love my granddaughter, and by that I mean do you care for her and are willing to sacrifice your whole life if you had to, even if it meant giving up something of importance to you?"

"Yes, sir I do."

He took a breath then focused his eyes intently on me, "Do you want to marry her?"

"If it had been possible, I would have already."

"Very well then," he nodded, "If that is what she wants, then you two have my blessing. I'll pay for it all and make sure that Sarah receives all of her inheritance from me and her father."

Under any other circumstances I would have been overjoyed to hear those words, but I felt there was more to the situation than what he was telling me.

"Why me?" I asked him, "I'm not anything special. I really have nothing to offer her."

"In time you will. I like you Mr. Lowe. You're down to earth, have morals and use your intelligence. I've followed the Titanic incident very closely and know the courageous things that you did-"

"Sir, I didn't do anything anyone else wouldn't have done."

"Yes, but that is my very point, no one else did it. No one else went back, did they?"

I realized he was right, and I shook my head, sick over the thought.

"The bottom line is Mr. Lowe, is that you are a true man. You saved lives, while some like Caledon Hockley managed to smuggle their way onto a lifeboat, taking a place that could have gone to an innocent woman or child. He may no longer call himself a gentleman and his entire family should be ashamed of his actions."

"Both on the Titanic and most recently." I added, not realizing what I had said until after I had said it.

He looked at me with eyebrows raised, "I'm sorry?"

"Nothing…well no it IS something." I took a deep breath, realizing fully what could come of what I was about to say, "In short, Mr. Wilkes, I don't like Hockley and I don't want him anywhere near Sarah. It has been brought to my attention that he's been making…advances towards her, which are neither appropriate nor wanted."

I could see him tense up and his aged, yet still full of fortitude, became a dreadful red color. In all honesty, he reminded me of Sarah. I guess I now knew where she inherited that trait from. All the same I was nearly regretful for a moment that I had even opened my mouth.

"What does he want with her?" he asked through clenched teeth.

I hesitated before telling him, I wanted to soften the blow as much as I could, "To marry her."

"I see." he looked around us, taking notice of the 50 or so other people that were dining around us, he then leaned closer towards me, "Sarah has not mentioned any of this to me."

"She won't even admit it to herself, much less anyone else. She seems to think that if she ignores it, it will go away."

"Just like her grandmother." I heard him mutter, but pretended that I hadn't. There was a long pregnant pause before he spoke again, but when he did his voice was firm and articulate, "This is not going to go unnoticed. I assume I'm right in thinking that I will have your help in the matter."

"Without a doubt sir." I replied, my voice filled with a confidence that I had never known before. How far I had come in only two weeks. This was a man I used to fear, and now he was an ally. I couldn't help but be smug about the fact that Hockley was getting what he deserved. Mr. Wilkes had said himself that his actions wouldn't go unnoticed, and I could only hope that meant wiping that arrogant smile off of his damn face and putting an end to what he was doing to Sarah for good.