Oh it took me forever to post this because the website was being DUMB...again. So sorry about the delay : )

A/N Well I know I said that this was going to be the last chapter in Part I, but I once again over did it (surprised? LoL) and so the NEXT chapter will be the last in Part I. Speaking of this chapter, it's long, and in my opinion, kind of boring. But Tipper and Kate (who I once again owe and big thank you to)both told me that it was great so I'm going to put my faith in them : )

Thanks again for all of your reviews, I love you all for them! (btw Afterglow, thank you for your honesty ;) I'll try to do better next time).

Chapter 56

Harry-

An hour later, I sat on the bed, with my back against the headboard and Sarah nestled in my arms, breathing in her sweet fragrance and running my fingers through her soft hair. I loved combing my fingers through it and then letting the long strands fall through my hands like silk.

She sighed softly as I did this, her eyes closed and her hand rested over her stomach. I do not think it had left that spot since she had told me about the baby. She felt bad, horrible really. She knew what she had almost done tonight and the thought of her not only taking her own life but that of our unborn child's had sent her into a high level of guilt.

Right after she told me about the baby, and the happy glow had dimmed slightly she apologized to me for what she had tried to do. I could not forgive her though, there was nothing to forgive. After hearing what she had lived through and what her family had done to her, I was surprised that she had made it as far as she had. Yet, I still was thanking God that I had been there and been able to stop her from doing anything drastic. I knew very well that I easily could have been somewhere else and had no idea that she was about to do, but that voice that had plagued me since the we were separated forced me to go out on the deck. I did not object, I had run into the dog woman again today and she went on about that girl again and how I should dine with them at dinner, so the voice's suggestion was not something I argued with. And as I held Sarah in my arms, I was so relieved that I hadn't.

"Sarah?"

"Hm?" she answered. Her eyes were closed as she leaned up against me, but I knew she was not sleeping.

"Are you all right?" I asked, leaning over her.

She opened her eyes and looked up at me, "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded, and then sat up and turned around to face me, "Why, do you not believe me?"

"I believe you, I just worry about you."

"You have no idea how much I love hearing that." She replied and leaned in and pressed her lips to mine. I cupped her head in my hand as we kissed, her long hair still pouring through my fingers. I loved it so much that I did not bother to pull away when she broke the kiss,

"I was so afraid that I would never see you again and it hurt so because there was nothing that I wanted more. Every day that we were apart seemed endless and every night was full of nightmares…promise me," she pleaded, "that will never happen again."

I brushed my thumb across her face, glad to feel her soft skin beneath it, "There isn't anyone in the world that could keep me away." I moved closer to her, "I promise…no, I swear on everything that has any meaning to me, that it will never happen again."

A gentle smile appeared on her sad face, but she pressed on with her words, "I want you to make me another promise."

"Anything."

Her eyes became more serious then and she was trembling as she began to speak, "Promise me that you'll never keep anything from me, no matter how horrible it is or how much it could hurt."

I averted my eyes when I felt them begin to narrow with frustration.

"I know that it is a strange thing, but I cannot stand the thought of anyone else I love lying to me. It hurts far too much; I wouldn't wish it upon anyone…even Cal."

I turned back to her, trying to convince myself that I was doing the right thing by saying this, "I could never do that to you."

She smiled and wrapped her arms around me tightly just as there was gentle rapping on the door. We pulled away from one another and Sarah readjusted herself on the bed, sitting up primly while I got up to answer the door,

"Harold, there you are!" the dog woman announced while I shuddered, "We must have missed one another at dinner, I just wanted to come by and say-"her eyes suddenly fixed themselves through my open door and over to where Sarah was sitting on the bed. I looked back and saw that Sarah's face had gone white as if she had just seen some vicious sea monster rise from the ocean.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" the woman roared so loudly the captain must have heard.

Sarah struggled to speak, "Aunt Isabel, I-"

"THIS is your Aunt?" I stammered. I turned back to the woman, "You're her Aunt?"

"Unfortunately." She told me, "What has she done to you to con her way into your room? Something immoral I imagine, excuse me-"she began to push her way through me and the door but I blocked her with my arm.

She looked up at me puzzled, "Harold, kindly remove your hand so that I might apprehend my niece."

"She's staying here!" I fired back, "And if you dare come into this room, I swear I'll throw you back out!"

"What lies has she fed you?" she demanded and then scoffed, "This girl has more than her share of problems, she's had an affair with an older man, a sailor no less-"

"I'm not a sailor; I'm a White Star Line officer!"

"I wasn't-"she cut herself off and her eyes became dark as she looked at me, "What did you just say?"

A light rapping on the door turned my attention away from Sarah and her aunt towards the door where I saw Lights standing. He did not see either one of them and looked straight at me, "Harry, I'm glad you're here, I need to talk to you-"he cut himself off when he saw that I had company.

Sarah's aunt saw Lights standing there and her eyes narrowed in suspicion,

"What are you doing here?"

Suddenly Sarah rose from her place on the bed and strolled over to Lights; she took him by the hand and pulled him into the room, "Aunt Isabel, I don't believe you've been introduced to Mr. Lightoller. You remember him don't you; he was at Rose's memorial service?"

Isabel's face went completely white, "Mr….Lightoller?"

"Yes, Charles Lightoller." Lights said offering his hand, but she did not take it, she just looked over at me,

"And you are?"

"Harold Lowe." I told her through clenched teeth.

She just stared in silence at me, which seemed to present some opportunity to Sarah because she was suddenly all smiles,

"Yes, and Mr. Lightoller, this is my Aunt Isabel, she lives in Russia." She told Lights matter-of-factly.

Lights nodded and seemed to be going along with Sarah's game, "Ah yes, I think I remember you mentioning her. You know this does explain quite a bit…it seems that some Russian fellow has been following me around the ship since before dinner…" he stared at Isabel, "…you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

"What is going on here?" I demanded before Isabel could answer.

Lights and Sarah looked over at me with amused expressions.

"May I tell him?" Lights asked her. She nodded and Lights left her side and came over to mine. He put his arm around my shoulder,

"You see Harry, this is Aunt Isabel, and she is Sarah's aunt and is taking her to Russia with her and husband…the one that has been following me. Why was he following me, you ask. Oh a very good question…it seems that dear Auntie here thought that I was YOU." He smiled, "Oh yes, I had a good laugh about it myself, that is after I figured it out.

"Today when we saw Auntie and her dog on the deck I had no idea who she was, but obviously she remembered me, and decided it was best to sick her husband on me. I did not put all of the pieces together until dinner. That is when I realized who the woman was and that Sarah must be on this ship, and I came here to tell you, and all the while, I have been followed. In fact I am sure he is waiting just outside of this door for me…" he turned to Isabel, "Would you mind telling him to heel, or at least sick him on the right man this time?"

Dumbfounded I looked over at Sarah who smiled at me, "You knew about all of this?" I asked.

"I knew that she thought Mr. Lightoller was you." She replied.

Meanwhile Isabel looked as if she had just been hit with a bolt of lightning; her eyes were wide and her face had gone pale. I wanted to punish her even more though, especially after the way she had treated Sarah and-

"Mr. Lowe?"

The three of us turned to the door to see who was there and saw the doctor standing there.

"Ah, Sarah, you're still here. I brought this for you," he said coming into the room and handing her a small bottle, "You had mentioned that you had trouble sleeping…" Sarah took the bottle and looked over at me with worry in her eyes. "…take a spoonful an hour or so before you plan to go to bed and it should help. Don't worry I don't think it will affect-"

He stopped suddenly, realizing and seeing that there were other people in the room.

"Affect? Affect what?" Isabel asked, all ready suspicious.

Sarah and I exchanged anxious and concerned expressions. Isabel saw it and I watched as the flames lit up her eyes. She moved towards the doctor very quickly and tore his eyes off of Sarah,

"Affect what, Doctor?" she challenged.

The doctor looked over at me, "Mr. Lowe-"

"No, don't look at him, LOOK AT ME!" she said moving in front of him, "That girl is my responsibility and I demand that you tell me what is wrong with her."

"Madame, I'm sorry I can't do that."

"Why, because HE said so?" she said flinging her finger in my direction, "Let me tell you something, my husband is a Russian Duke! He has more money in his wallet than you will ever make in a lifetime and-"

"MADAME, no amount of screaming or money is going to make me tell you this girl's private medical business. So I would appreciate it if you would stop screaming at me and-"

"STOP SCREAMING? I will stop screaming when I am good and ready!"

Suddenly she was in front of my face, "You listen here, MR. LOWE, I intend to see that you are severely punished for what you have done to my niece. She was an innocent young girl until you got your filthy hands on her and now she's probably scarred for life, carrying around a social disease that you picked up at some seedy port town and so graciously bestowed upon her!"

My fists and teeth were clenched in fury, never in my life had a woman made me so enraged, I opened my mouth to tell her so, but stopped abruptly when Sarah suddenly moved between her aunt and I,

"That's enough." She said in a calm voice.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY YOU UNGRATEFUL-"

"I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH!" Sarah screamed, her face was red and the tension inside of her was unmistakable. I had never seen her like this before and frankly, it frightened me and she showed no intention of stopping,

"Leave him alone, he has done nothing to you! There's no reason to be angry at him when he has done nothing but love me!"

"DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!"

"THEN DON'T SPEAK TO HIM LIKE THAT!"

"HE'S NO GOOD FOR YOU!"

"HE'S THE FATHER OF MY BABY!"

I do not think Sarah had meant to say that, in fact I am sure she had not, because as soon as those words slipped out of her mouth she let out a gasp and her eyes became very large. Not as large as Isabel's though, whose eyes were so wide she was beginning to resemble an owl. Sarah scooted back towards me and I placed a protective arm around her. There was no way I was going to let this woman touch her, or anyone else for that matter.

"Your…what?"

"My baby." Sarah answered in a much more subdued voice.

"Baby?"

Sarah was silent, so I answered, "Yes, our baby."

Isabel grimaced at the sound of my words, "I cannot believe this. If my sister thinks I am going to take you in now, she is far more ignorant that I could have ever perceived. There is no way on God's green earth that I will ever let you into my house carrying some sailor's bastard!"

"It's a not a bastard!" I defended, both Sarah and my child.

"What would you call it then?" she asked with a laugh.

I was not sure how to answer the question, but all she could see was the hesitation and attacked me with it,

"I knew it." she scoffed, "You don't want this child. All you wanted was the thrill of knowing you demoralized this girl-"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!"

"Isn't it? Prove it then, to both me and yourself and even to Sarah…marry her."

"Marry her?"

It was not that I did not want to, God knows I had been aching to do it since the day I met her, but the fact that a member of her family had suggested it was what shocked me, but yet again, that was not what Isabel saw. She laughed, thinking that the idea appalled me,

"Yes, that's exactly what we'll do. Tomorrow morning, I'll find the ships chaplain and have him marry you two, what do you think of that?"

Sarah turned back and looked at me and all I could do was give her a half smile and then turn back to Isabel and nod,

"Sounds good to me." I said sounding as emotionless as I could.

"Good." She answered with an equally impassive voice. She then reached out and grabbed Sarah's arm, "Now, its bad luck for the bride and groom to be together the night before wedding." she said in a contemptuous tone and did not even give Sarah and me the chance to say good-bye to one another before she dragged her out the room and slammed the door behind her.

May 16, 1912

Sarah-

Aunt Isabel's anger towards me didn't diminish over the next 12 hours. She stomped around the suite slamming doors for the rest of the night and most of the next morning. Uncle Serge and I had the same idea about how to avoid her and stayed in our rooms, keeping to ourselves.

However, the solitude was welcome, giving me the opportunity to absorb everything that had happened that night. I was up until midnight scolding myself for what I had nearly done. Harry had told me not to dwell on it, but my mind couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if I had. But then my thoughts began to take on a much more optimistic light and it suddenly hit me that Harry and I were getting married. And it was that thought and that thought alone that made me fall into a peaceful sleep, where I could feel myself smiling all through the night.

When I woke up the next morning I was welcomed with beautiful yellow rays of sunshine coming in through my open window, followed with a refreshing sea breeze. There was no trace of the storm from the night before and I threw the blankets off of me, deciding I wasn't going to let anything ruin this perfect day.

I went into the bathroom and splashed my face with warm water and then returned to my bedroom to find something to wear. I had just opened a trunk when Aunt Isabel came into the room, without warning, shutting the door behind her.

"Sit." She ordered, pointing to the bed. I did it, the only reason being that I just didn't feel like arguing with her today.

"I've sent a wire to Hailey, informing her of what might happen today."

"It will happen." I told her defiantly.

She laughed, puffing air up through her nose in the process, "I wouldn't get my hopes up if I were you."

"Why not? He told you himself that he was going to marry me."

"Do you expect me to trust the word of a man who clearly has no respect for morals and-"

"Aunt Isabel, if you're going to continue your flood insults on my future husband, I suggest that you do it elsewhere as I am in no mood to hear it. This is my wedding day and I have every intention of making it as perfect as possible, is that clear?"

My rational words were a shock to us both, but it gave me pleasure in knowing that I now had the upper hand in the conversation.

"Clear? The only thing I can see clearly is the fact that this is a mistake."

I rose from the bed and went towards her, "How can you say that? Both you and I are getting exactly what we want. Neither one of us wanted me to come to Russia and now I'm not."

Aunt Isabel fell silent. She looked away from me and moved over to the sofa on the opposite side of the room and perched herself on it.

"Why did you have to do things this way though, Sarah? You realize that you're only making your life more difficult. Marriage is no fairy tale, it takes hard work and dedication and I just don't think that you're old enough to understand that. And then to add to it, there's a child to think of now. You're doing thing the same way your parents did, and look how that turned out for them."

"Aunt Isabel, they're dead I hardly think that-"

"That's not what I mean." She took a breath, "I meant that they were forced to leave their home and had little or no contact with their families. Is that what you want? Your grandmother and even your grandfather and brother not to know your child?"

"Of course that's not what I want."

"Then why did you let this happen when you knew what the consequences could be?"

"I didn't plan this and even if I had, Nan would still be at fault. No matter what had happened she would never have approved of Harry, and I could kick myself for believing that in the beginning, but I know the truth now.

"Aren't you? It seems to me that you have followed the same exact path that they did; having intimate relations before marriage, and getting married because of your delicate condition."

"All right there are some similarities, but Harry and I didn't hurt anyone by falling in love."

"Sarah," she rose from her seat, "For one moment will you stop thinking of yourself. You're going to be a mother, do you understand me? When you're a mother you can't be selfish and that was something your mother never learned.

"She was always like that, before George was born, after George was born, all the way through to when it came time to have you."

My eyebrows rose in question towards her.

"What, did you forget that you were born in my home? I was there, Sarah. I was there the moment that you took your first breath in this world, uttered your first cry and I was there when your mother slipped out of this world."

"You sound like Aunt Ruth." I replied, referring to the obvious contempt in her voice.

"Despite what you make think there is some truth to Ruth's prattle. Your mother hurt her deeply, there is not denying that, but Corynn never felt any remorse for it. She knew she was dying and begged your father not to let Ruth anywhere near you or George. She didn't bother to extend an apology or tell your father to make amends."

"I'm not like her, I haven't hurt anyone."

"What about your grandmother?"

"Do you have any idea what she did to me?" I fired back, angry that she would even think such a thing.

"And do you have any idea what you did to her? She had such high hopes for you! She loved you and cared for you and gave you everything, but you turned around and slapped her in the face when you let that man take advantage of you!"

"That's not the way it happened!"

"Sarah, people never want an explanation, all they care about is the fact that it happened. And all they will hear is that a seventeen year old girl and a thirty year old-"

"He's not thirty."

"He's close enough. Sarah, that's all they'll care about and that's why I'm telling you not to expect sunshine and roses today." She rose from her spot on the sofa and went to the door, "He's a grown man and you're going to be lucky if he even shows up to tell you he won't marry you." She then paused and looked at me with eyes that were so much like my grandmothers. I stared back, holding my ground, not allowing myself to be weakened by her.

"Things could have been much different for you…you know that don't you?"

I didn't answer her and she shook her head and turned away from me, opening the door,

"The chaplain said to meet him in the chapel at noon. Find something to wear…something appropriate." She and then went out the door and shutting it securely behind her. I sunk down on my bed clutching the post as I did so taking in everything that she had just said to me.

As much as I hated to admit it, she had been right about one thing. I had been selfish. Not in a way I ever would have noticed alone, though. Nan had raised me to have respect for myself and others and I basically thrown her teachings into the mud by doing what I had. I couldn't say that I regretted it though, especially when I knew that that simple act had created a life.

Something inside of me told me that of the two times that it had happened, it was the first; the night on the Titanic, that our child was conceived. I could remember clearly that next morning on the Carpathia feeling an odd sensation when Madeline Astor had sat down next to me and I saw her swollen middle. I should have put the pieces together then, but with everything that had happened even I could understand why I hadn't.

And so as much as I wanted to blame Cal for mine and Harry's secret coming out in the open, I realized that it would have come out eventually. Morally, it was wrong for us to do what we did, but in the end it seemed that this baby was the very thing that was bringing us back together.

I put my arms around my middle and hugged it tenderly suddenly filled with the knowledge and excitement that today I was going to become Harry's wife, never having to worry about being separated from him again.