Chapter One
An extremely dishevelled Draco stormed into the Slytherin common room. A group of first years glanced at his furious face and ran out of the room, the Malfoy temper was well known, especially in the Slytherin common room, and no one was willing to become an outlet for his wrath.
"The BITCH!" he shouted, hurling a vase at the floor. "How dared she do that me, a Malfoy! I'm going to make her sorry that she was ever born. I'll make her life a living hell..."
"Whose life?" asked Blaise, slouching into the common room and interrupting Draco's angry speech.
"The fucking mudblood, who else?" Draco replied angrily. "What the hell do you want Blaise?"
"She always gets a rise out of you! I've never seen anyone else get through all your defences so effectively, well besides me of course." mused an unperturbed Blaise, "I wonder why? It's not as if she is anything special. And as to what I want, well that's a very general question to ask. I wouldn't say no to unlimited power, and total control of the world and everyone in it, but there's not much point in asking for great wealth because I'm almost as rich as you anyway. But as I highly doubt that you can give me the whole unlimited power thing, I suppose I will have to settle for a date with you, followed by a night in your arms. You should know how much I want that gorgeous, sexy body of yours" he said with a smirk.
"HELL NO YOU SICK FUCK! I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT WITH YOU! IF YOU HADN'T FUCKING NOTICED I LIKE GIRLS, NOT GUYS, AND BEING GAY DOESN'T PLACE YOU IN THE FEMALE CATEGORY, NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!" yelled Draco looking completely disgusted.
"I know, and mores the pity," sighed Blaise, "You and Potter are the hottest guys at Hogwarts, well besides me of course, and Potter's too damn righteous for me, all the Gryffindorks are. Oh well, it was worth a try, but should you ever change your mind, there's always room in my bed for you..."
"Zabini..." growled Draco, "You're treading on very thin ice... do you want to be castrated? Because if that's the only way I can be certain of not waking up next to you in the mornings, I'll make sure it happens"
"I don't think that will be necessary Draco, I wouldn't do anything like that without your consent anyway, well, nothing drastic anyway." said Blaise wincing at the thought of castration, "I'm sure we can come to a less painful agreement. How about you tell me what Granger did this time, and I'll help you plot the ultimate revenge."
"How noble," sneered Malfoy throwing himself into one of the green armchairs that adorned their common room, "Maybe you should have been in Griffindork after all" Blaise just rolled his eyes and gestured for Draco to continue "She placed me under a full body bind spell after potions and left me in the classroom, then she told Parkinson that I was into bondage and locked her in the room with me! And I swear, Zabini, if you laugh I will castrate you anyway!"
This had no effect at all on Blaise who was doubled up with laughter, tears streaming down his face. "I think I should tell Granger that next time she pulls a prank like that she doesn't need to bother with locking the door" gasped Blaise, trying to catch his breath, "Knowing Pansy, she probably jumped you before Granger had even closed the door!"
"Hmmph, just wait Zabini I'm gonna tell Parkinson that you had mistaken your sexuality all these years and have now discovered you are, straight, not gay and are desperately in love with her!" stated Draco, smirking at the prospect.
"Oh god no, please don't Draco," begged a horrified Blaise, "You know she is prepared to shag anything with a dick, and she's even tried her luck on a few who don't! She's desperate to add me to her list of 'been there, done him' since second year, if she ever finds out that I'm actually bi, I'll have to move into Griffindork and hide, especially now, seeing as until today you and I were the only Slytherin's with enough taste not to have shagged her, but I guess all that's changed now." he said, smirking again.
"Fortunately not, Snape walked in before she managed to do anything more than kiss me, if you call her slobbering a kiss, and unbutton my shirt. I have never been more relieved to see him in my life. Anyway, he gave her detention for a month for 'inappropriate behaviour', so at least she wont be bugging us in the evenings for a bit."
"Yeah, as it is she's determined that all she has to do is sleep with me to help me discover that I'm not really gay, just confused as to my sexuality and in need of her expert womanly touch"
"Well she's certainly had enough practice to think she's good in bed, what a pity she's so disillusioned, it's gonna be a serious blow to her when she finds out how bad she is." guffawed Malfoy
This set Blaise laughing again as well. When they had both recovered their breath, he asked, "so, how you gonna make Granger's life a living hell?"
"I don't know, she doesn't seem to react to anything anymore, not even me calling her a mudblood. Ever since she became head girl, she just ignores me and gets her revenge by pulling cheap tricks like the one with Pansy. She seems to have a personal vendetta against me this year, and it's not even as if I have done anything particularly bad to her. I have to find a way to get to her, to get her all riled up and irritated... "
"What about her boyfriends, aren't they always with her? As it is they are prepared to hex you on sight"
"Well, for some reason she seems to have told Pothead and Weasel that her fight is with me, and that they're not to interfere, so I don't have to worry about them, but if they get in my way you're welcome to use any means you want to get rid of them, even if it means hitting on them, although that's a fate I wouldn't wish on anyone, not even Pothead." said Malfoy with a shudder.
"Hmmph, You're just jealous it's not gonna be you, Malfoy" Smirked Blaise.
"In your dreams, Zabini!" Said Draco, throwing a cushion at him.
Blaise caught it deftly and cuddled it to his chest, "Oh Drakie-poo, how sweet of you to give me SUCH a wonderful present! I'll treasured it forever and ever and ever and ever... just cos it came from you" Blaise gushed in an exhadurated falsetto, "And tonight I'm gonna go to sleep all cuddled up to it and kiss it and pretend its you and when I fall asleep I'm gonna dream of you and me and..."
"Don't take that thought any further," Draco interupted, "I want to be able to sleep tonight, without having nightmares about what you want to do to me!"
"But Draco," whimpered Blaise, "I thought you loved me," his eyes tearing up and his bottom lip starting to tremble.
Draco just rolled his eyes, "In your dreams Zabini!"
"You mean I'm allowed to have them now?" said Blaise, with a wicked smirk. "Cos you do you know, love me in my dreams."
Draco shuddered at the mental image and glared at Blaise. "Anyway, I think we're getting off the point, remember, Granger, revenge, preferably a painful and humiliating death..."
"Oh yeah, but can't I think abot you and I for just a little longer? Please Draco?" asked Blaise looking at him with puppy-dog eyes.
"No, for one no time span is enought for you, two, I don't want to have to hang around and wait for you if you have to go for a cold shower cos you get all hot and bothered over me, and three, I don't want you thinking about me like that ever, got it Zabini!" sneered Draco
Blaise smiled sweetly, "Can't think about it, huh? Am I allowed to act it out?"
"Oh, go tie a knot in your libido Zabini! Come back when you can make yourself useful and actually provide worthwhile input in helping me solve my problem with Granger." Draco growled in irritation.
"Spoilsport," Blaise pouted, "Oh well, another time I suppose." He said, ignoring Draco's snort of irritation. "Anyway, your Granger problem, easy to solve. You said she doesn't react to what you do any more? Just fights back with petty pranks? Well how about a complete reversal of tactics. Show her the sexy, irresistible side of you…"
"What, romance that Mudblood, are you out of your fucking mind? Not only is that likely to get me hit with avada by Father, but it's just plain disgusting!" Draco shuddered at the thought.
"As I was saying before you ever so rudely interrupted me," continued Blaise with a glare at Draco, "Show her the sexy, irresistible side of you that every girl, Griffindork or not, secretly hopes to see. Start slow, nothing too obvious or she will get suspicious, stop calling her mudblood, call her Granger instead, with a couple of obvious slip-ups like starting to call her Hermione and then quickly changing it to Granger. I know you have learnt how to control your emotions expertly, so following the slip-ups with a slight blush and then hurrying away as if embarrassed would work. Start following her, stare at her longingly though mealtimes, but look away quickly if she catches your eye, sit at her table in class, ask the teachers if you can be partnered with her because you feel that she could help you with your weak points in the subject. That sort of thing."
"Uh, huh, so, besides making a complete ass of myself, the point of all that would be what exactly?" said Draco sceptically.
"Geez, and I thought you were supposed to be the bright one!" Draco merely rolled his eyes and gestured impatiently for Blaise to get on with it. "Simple, you make her want you, you make her fall in love with you, you use her, and then you ditch her." stated Blaise smugly.
"Hmm, you really are an evil genius, how come I've never seen much of this side of you before?"
Blaise smiled mischievously and mimicked Pansy's high falsetto, "because, Drakie-Darling, until now, you have been far too wrapped up in the sexy, goodlooking, irresistible side of me!"
"Whatever," Draco muttered, rising from is seat and walking towards his room. "Later, Zabini."
"It's a date then!" Blaise called after him, his voice full of hope.
"Sod off!" floated back to him from the direction of Draco's room.
A/N: Well, this is my first ever fanfic, please let me know how you like it. By the way, I need a beta if anyone out there is interested.
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