Author's Notes: This might be the first in a series of one-shots. I'm not sure yet, because like usual, I stink at decision making. Go figure.
If you don't figure it out later, the title comes from "whole milk". The title has no real significance to the story at all. Unless you want to overanalyze it like my English teacher does and make it into a symbol. Nyeh.
Summary: AU. Grocery stores, the five o' clock news, and spilt milk. First meetings. First impressions. Hatred and love and irritation in excess. Ogres? One-shot. Yaoi. NaruSasu
Whole
By Shanghaii
They had met in a grocery store on the corner of Redgate and Main Street. It was cold outside, the sky murky blue and tired-looking, and the customers were bundled in thick winter coats. Warm scarves adorned the general population's necks in autumn colors of red, gold, and tawny brown. The store shelves were full, anticipating the mad rush of unprepared housewives when Stacey O'Donnell and the five o' clock news announced the arrival of inclement weather. The store manager knew this and braced himself. He was a wise man.
Uzumaki Naruto, a sophomore in the well-to-do (meaning fancily private) but local college, sauntered down the aisles. The blond was dressed in baggy, eye searing orange pants and a black sweatshirt. The cold did not seem to affect the tall lanky student as he peered at frozen meats, unaware of red noses and frigid fingers surrounding him. He searched for his wallet and counted the number of bills in the scrap of well-worn leather. He sighed, eyes narrowing slightly as he gazed longingly at the raw meat, and then turned towards the packaged foods section. As a college student, his stomach could not afford to be picky. Oriental beef flavored ramen it was, for the fourth straight week.
On the other side of the store, by the dairy products, a dark haired young man contemplated the selection of milks. Lactaid free, whole, skim, two percent, one percent, he furrowed his brows in consternation. A pretty, pink-haired girl leaned on his shopping cart, babbling on about something or other. Her name was Sakura and she had a crush the size of Russia on him. He really didn't care. Finally, deliberately, he chose the whole milk and set it carelessly in the cart. The girl went on without pause.
"I mean, seriously, Sasuke, our parents are expecting us to get married and you haven't even asked me out on a single date. When are you going to get your life in perspective and start living?"
He pivoted leisurely, something that smoldered a bit like anger in his ink black eyes. "I don't love you, Sakura," he said slowly, as if speaking to a thickheaded and learning impaired child. "For God's sake, I don't even like you. We are never going to date and we sure as hell aren't going to get married." Naruto, who had ambled away from the ramen, paused when the unfortunate, but still lovely as a blossom, girl began to whimper. Far be it for him to watch a damsel in distress be bullied by a self-righteous bastard who had the emotional capacity of an iceberg. No, Uzumaki Naruto always came to the rescue of beautiful, buxom women.
"Hey there, buddy," he interjected, taking a step towards the unfolding scene. The girl turned startled green eyes on him. "Don't you think you could be a bit nicer to the lady?" he asked. The disgruntled boyfriend's, for that's what Naruto assumed he was, eyes narrowed into a poisonous glare. "It's none of your concern," he muttered angrily. He shot the girl a look full of disdain. Naruto bristled, now offended by the stranger's superior attitude. "Hey now, there's no need to get nasty. Just apologize to the girl." Sasuke snarled viciously and his eyes burned with furious sparks of anger. "I will not be pressured into marrying her!" he spat. "Not for her, not for my parents, and definitely not because some idiot stranger decides to intervene with marriage counseling!" He threw the carton of milk on the floor and stormed off. Naruto stared after him as the beverage exploded in white waves on the floor.
"Your boyfriend has misplaced rage problems," he informed the girl. She sniffled pathetically and looked mournfully at him. "He's not my boyfriend," she said hinted. A janitor came by with a mop, growling angrily at the mess. "And that's the problem."
Five minutes later, they were seated in a tiny café. Naruto nursed a cup of hot chocolate as he listened sympathetically to Sakura's love troubles. "You see," she explained candidly, "Sasuke-kun's family and mine have been quite close throughout the years. And our parents have been trying to arrange a marriage between our families for ages. Originally, Sasuke-kun's older brother was supposed to marry my sister Hana, but he…began associating with the, well, wrong people. So it came to us. At first, I was opposed to the idea. But then we met, and well, I fell in love with him. But Sasuke-kun refuses to even consider the proposition and I don't know what to do."
She looked at him earnestly. The blond made a thoughtful noise and stirred the whipped cream as he mulled over the matter. "Seems to me that he just has a stick up his ass, or something," he proposed bluntly. "I mean, from his attitude in the store, I'd say he's got some serious issues." The pink haired girl frowned delicately. "Sasuke-kun's difficult," she admitted. "His parents pushed him pretty hard as a child and I think he's always resented them for dictating his life. But he can be very charming when he wants to be, and I know he's sweet deep down inside."
Very deep down inside, Naruto thought inwardly. "Mmm," he hummed out loud. "Then I hope he discovers it soon 'cause a pretty girl like you ain't gonna last long in the single and solitary world." He winked at her roguishly. He couldn't help but flirt, even if she was currently attached at the hip to Sasuke the Bastard. They conversed for near a half hour, laughing over anecdotes and discussing the deeper meaning of life, and it didn't seem as if they had just met in the grocery store. Naruto liked the feeling, orphan that he was, watching the woman across from him smile.
He leaned back, tipping his chair against the wall. "So you don't think that the current price of gas is out-of-this-world expensive?" he asked with a grin. She shook her head emphatically and returned his smile. "Nuh-uh. Compared to the prices in other countries, our gas is extremely cheap. Up in Canada, it's $1.49 per liter." He made a face at her and wrinkled his nose. "What about the price of milk?" he inquired. "I'm sure it went up after your boyfriend oh so maturely threw a carton on the ground. Somewhere in Somalia, a deprived child is lamenting the waste of precious nutrition."
She threw a napkin at him.
He was about to offer to walk her home, as Sasuke had left her stranded, when the raven haired man stalked in. Sakura stiffened slightly as he spotted them. Naruto snorted in annoyance when he saw the thunderclouds gather. "Oh boy," he said drolly and sneered in disgust. "Good job," he congratulated snidely. "Leave her stranded and alone, 'cause, you know, that's the responsible thing to do." Sasuke glared at him.
Sakura stood hastily, gathering her purse and nervously glancing between the two males. Tension crackled palpably between them. "Come on, Sasuke," she said gently, tugging lightly on his jacket. Naruto didn't like the cowed look in her eyes as she mouthed a "sorry" to him and his lips tightened grimly. The muscles in his shoulders tensed imperceptibly as he watched the pseudo-couple walk out the door. "Pity," he said aloud to himself. "Pretty girl like that should find someone nicer that Mr. My-Issues-Are-All-Jammed-In-My-Ass."
"Talking to yourself again, Naruto?" He glanced up to meet the laughing brown eyes of his guardian and closest friend. "Mou, Iruka-sensei," he complained. "I'm hungry. When can we get ramen for dinner?"
By February, the weather had chilled even further and even Naruto began bundling up in his orange parka. On snowy days, he would suit up, hat pulled snugly over his ears and thick woolen mittens on his hands, to shovel the thick white flakes from Iruka-sensei's driveway. Of course, he always made time to take Konohamaru sledding down the University's biggest hill and build elaborate snow forts that promptly melted the next day.
"Naruto nii-san! Hurry up!" the thirteen year old groused, pulling the old-fashioned wood and metal sled behind him. He was grumpy and tired from a day of war games with Naruto, who had the added height and cleverness to win no matter what the situation. The blond grinned, pausing by the road to scoop a handful of snow. He pressed it gently, a wicked smirk forming on his lips, and chucked it at the unsuspecting child. It hit him square in the back. The spiky haired teenager whirled around and threw a snowball right back. The resulting war continued all the way to the campus and the air was thick with flying snow.
It wasn't until Konohamaru pegged an unsuspecting passer-by that the impromptu fight ceased. Not because they were feeling the least bit contrite, oh no. It was because that unsuspecting passer-by was one Uchiha Sasuke. And he looked like he was about to kill someone.
The thirteen-year-old whimpered inaudibly and darted behind Naruto, who scrunched up his nose. "Ew," he greeted. Sasuke glared. He pointedly brushed flakes of snow off his jacket. Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Eh heh. About that…You see, there was this huge, I mean, huge snowman and it started walking down the street, you know, clomping about and saying, 'fee, fye, foe, fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman' and crushing everything in sight and Konohamaru and I started pegging it with these snowballs but then you got in the way and it disappeared on us, never to be seen again."
"Idiot," the rich-beyond-belief heir retorted tartly. "That was the ogre who said that." "What?" Naruto inquired stupidly. In the falling snow, Sasuke rolled his eyes, looking like a bundled up angel from heaven, all dark eyes and pale skin. Which was strange, because Naruto had never seen a portrayal of an irritated angel. The Sharingan heir sighed. It was cold and his fingers were frozen inside his jacket pockets, and he wanted out of the snow. "The ogre," he explained curtly, "when Jack climbs the beanstalk and hides in the oven, the ogre says 'fee, fye, foe, fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman.'" Naruto looked blank. Sasuke sighed. "Never-mind." No one remembers the old fairytales anyway.
He hitched his coat higher and tucked his chin into its collar. He wished childishly for warmer weather. May be then he could feel his ears again. A gust of icy wind blasted against his back and he shivered, digging his hands further into the recesses of the wool coat as a strand of black hair whipped across his face. "Can I go now?" he asked plaintively. The spiky haired brat peered at him. He glared darkly at him and the thirteen-year-old 'eeped'. Naruto cocked his head to the side and gazed at the cold college student, feeling the tiniest bit of sympathy creep into his heart. "Where are you going?" he questioned. There was no answer. "Come on," the blond said finally, grabbing the other's hand. "Sakura'd kill me if I left the love of her life out to freeze." Sasuke let him pull him around.
As they walked through the deepening gloom, the blond and the brat chattered about mundane things. "Monkeys…homework…Root beer with Guatemala sauce…" The Uchiha listened quietly, trudging along in the evening quiet with a pensive look on his face. The sled clunked behind them in an ungainly fashion. At a tall, well-lit apartment building, the trio ducked inside. It was warm and cozy and Konohamaru waved a cheerful good-bye as he clomped to his grandfather's door.
Naruto directed Sasuke up a flight of stairs whose carpet has seen better days. Many of them. "It's the one on the left," the blond informed him. He fumbled for his keys and pushed the door open once he's unlocked it. A whiff of apple-cinnamon drifted to Sasuke's nose as they entered the tiny space.
The place was a wreck. Clothes were thrown everywhere and a bag of chips was opened on the coffee table. Books cluttered every available chair and rose in stacks from the floor. Several sheets of notebook paper floated around the room. Naruto chuckled nervously as he stepped gingerly inside. "It's not the cleanest place, I know, but its home," he smiled at his guest.
As Naruto puttered around the kitchen, Sasuke took off his coat and draped it over a chair. He wandered around the room, peering curiously at small framed photos of a kind, brown eyed man with a scar slashed across the bridge of his nose. Iruka-sensei the inscription read. He moved on. Another picture, this time of Naruto and the man rock climbing. A huge smile split the blond's face as he turned towards the camera and the scarred man looked on exasperatedly. Sasuke half-smiled at the expression. He turned at the sound of the blond's loud footsteps.
"That's Iruka-sensei, Naruto volunteered, gesturing towards the photo. "He's my guardian. Nice guy, loves to mother me, and order me around. Kind of like the parent I never had." Sasuke grunted and seated himself on the couch, pulling a blanket over and wrapping himself in it. Naruto stared a bit, smiling to himself, because that action was the most childish thing that the college student had done thus far. Curled into the warmth, the heir had the look of a drowsy cat.
"So," he chirped bluntly, "Why do you hate Sakura-chan?" A dark glare was leveled his way, promising death and painful torture. Naruto remained unfazed. The blond always remained unfazed, at least when it came to things like hate and cruelty and unkind words. Seeing this, Sasuke gave in, just a little, because he knew from experience that Naruto was nothing if not persistent. But he couldn't help the tensing in his jaw as he answered.
"I don't hate her," he answered quietly and he stared defiantly into the blond's bright blue eyes. "But I'm not going to marry her. Or date her. Or whatever the hell she wants me to do." A thin wisp of anger crept into his voice because he truly hated being pressured into things. He tamped down on the feeling, pushing it to the far corners of his mind. His face remained as blank and neutral as the blank pages of notebook paper scattered around the apartment.
"But why don't you like her?" Naruto questioned. He was by nature a curious boy and Sasuke's mind was like a new toy to be examined and puzzled out. The allure of the unknown had always caught and held the blond's interest. It awakened now and he peered into the strange black of his pseudo-friend's eyes.
The college student huddled deeper into the security of his blanket (well, Naruto's blanket) and gazed moodily somewhere to the right of Naruto's head. "She's a simpering, love-sick fool who pants after me like a dog in heat," he muttered. "And she's pink." In truth, the bubble-gum shade of Sakura's hair did offend Sasuke's sensibilities. It made him shudder now, as he thought about her garish rose colored self among his somber, gother-than-thou mood swings.
It was just wrong. Horribly, mind-wrenchingly wrong.
He thought about his room with its stark white walls and ivory carpet, the sheets and pillows on his bed the darkest navy he could find, and the molding against the wall a simple black band. He thought about his knives, his kunai, his katana, his shuriken, and then thought about the hideous pink Sakura among all those things, and sincerely hoped that he'd remain cherry blossom-free for the rest of his life. He thought about the lonely halls of his family's ancestral home and the marble face of his father and how out of place his "fiancée" would be. How unfair it would be for a girl like Sakura to live in a cold, graveyard like he did, and be expected to continue the family line.
It was one thing to be living a nightmare, and another to drag someone else into his hell.
He didn't say any of these things to Naruto though, but by the tension in the blond's shoulders, he guessed that he already knew of bad dreams and living hells. They sat in silence and it was a strange moment, admitting something soul deep to someone they barely knew and hated. Except maybe now it wasn't hate. Hate was too small a word to describe the thick emotion in the room. It was understanding, and irritation, and pain, and fear, and relief all rolled onto a cotton candy sugar cone and stuffed into their faces. And it was comforting, because it was familiar.
The strange quiet lingered even as Naruto rose to reheat the frozen pizza and Sasuke watched him, thinking that maybe it was a mistake to come here and reveal so much. The blond haired, blue eyed orphanage punk stirred up too many half-formed thoughts and unresolved plans. He came back with two mugs of hot chocolate, and the son of the world's richest man sipped at the hot drink. There were cracks in the old porcelain. There were no flaws in Uchiha crystal ware and suddenly, irrationally, Sasuke wished there were.
It was another hour before he roused himself sufficiently from the sleepy familiarity that he and Naruto had fallen into. The microwave clock blinked 11:05 in green digital numbers. He folded the wool blanket neatly and set it on the bright red couch. He slipped his feet into his shoes, shrugged on his drying coat, and exits his enemy's apartment as suddenly as he entered. He didn't say thank you.
Left by himself, Naruto sighed and his tousled head fell back into the cushions. He closed his eyes tiredly, wondering about enigmas and twisted minds that he couldn't quite understand.
A tenuous friendship began to grow between the two former enemies. Often, Sasuke would show up at Naruto's doorstep, dark eyes blank and tired, shadows playing across his face. He learned not to question. The orphan would merely stand aside and let him in. A night of petty arguments and old tv shows followed, and sometimes they would sit in silence for hours. In the morning, the dark haired boy would leave. He never said a word of gratitude.
Somewhere along the line, Naruto fell in love with him. He wasn't sure when it happened because the blond still thought he was a pompous asshole who had issues. Serious ones. He thought Uchiha Sasuke was selfish, depressed, repressed, confused, bitter, and cynical. He had a tongue sharper than the Swiss army knife he carried in his pocket and an attitude that ground on his nerves. They got into fights frequently which more likely than not evolved into the two boys trying to hurt each other. They normally succeeded. But Uzumaki Naruto, self-proclaimed ninja, was unhealthily attracted to the one boy who could kill him with just a word.
He was careful to keep his feelings to himself, masking love with annoyance and second-grade insults. Sasuke knew though. He compared Naruto to Sakura and regretted ever meeting the blond. Because the brat was harder to ignore than the girl was. He was more annoying, and more cunning, and infinitely more appealing than sugar sweet pink. Naruto was gold and blue and the brightest shade of orange in the universe. It was impossible to pretend that Naruto didn't exist, because Naruto got right in his face and made retarded observations that made Sasuke punch him or kiss him.
Instead of love notes and shy glances at each other, they fought and whined and hurled insults. It was a strange way of showing affection, Sakura decided, watching them argue sadly. She would never understand it.
Naruto knew he was drunk when he found himself contemplating kissing Sasuke just to win the debate. Several bottles of beer littered the carpet and the ceiling swirled pleasantly before his eyes. The black haired heir was sprawled out on the couch. Naruto himself was propped up against the coffee table facing him. The orphan gritted his teeth as Sasuke rambled on and on. The insults piled higher and higher as the two drunk teenagers bantered back and forth, heads fuzzy and eyes hazy with alcohol.
"…just because you think you have what it takes, I'm telling you, you don't. You're just a hotshot college kid who's got the worst grades in the class and a bad reputation for pissing your teachers off, and no one in their right mind will hire you, because you suck."
That was it. Naruto growled and kissed him. Sasuke's eyes widened comically as the blond invaded his personal space. "Shut up," the blond hissed, nipping at the other's bottom lip. "I don't care what you think and I don't care what they think. So just shut up!" The black haired heir made a noise of protest in the back of his throat as tongue invaded territory that no one had ever explored before. He shoved ineffectually at the orphan's chest, but Naruto outweighed him by several pounds and naturally had more muscle. Desperate now, he bit the blond's tongue.
He yelped as his friend and rival pinched his side in retaliation. Blue eyes, darkened by lust and anger, turned to gaze at him. They glared at each other, Naruto still straddling the smaller boy's hips and immobilizing him, and Sasuke growled. "Idiot," he muttered and viciously nipped at the blond's nipple. Naruto panted, still glaring, and a smug grin spread across his face. "Knew you'd see it my way," he gloated. Sasuke kissed him.
Several hours later, they lay beside each other, not quite touching, as their bodies cooled and so did their blood. Sasuke stared up at the ceiling and thought that perhaps their little interlude had not been the smartest of ideas. Hell, it was downright stupid. Still, he couldn't quite bring himself to care, not yet, as he shifted gingerly on the couch because his ass was aching already.
He could feel Naruto's smirk.
The blond shifted closer, pulling the darker haired boy into his arms. Sasuke let him. "So," the idiot began. "Have a good time?" He snorted. Yes, he thought to himself, remembering the mind-blowing pleasure and the look of possessiveness of his rival's (lover's?) face. He didn't reply out loud; He didn't need too.
After a while, Naruto turned his head to look at him and Sasuke could see the faint lines of scars on the blond's face. He wondered idly where he had gotten them and entertained several theories in his head. Maybe he had the living daylights scratched out of him by a cat. Maybe he had gotten caught in a knife-fight. The former seemed more likely, infinitely so, because his rival really was a moron. The blue eyes, jewel-bright and clear, studied him carefully and a small smile pulled at the corners of Naruto's lips. Sasuke sighed and gave in, tilting his head so his forehead leaned against the orphan's collarbone. A thumb rubbed soothing circles down his back.
"Remember that day when we met on the street? The one when it was snowing and Konohamaru was with me and we had gone sledding?" Naruto asked suddenly. Sasuke mumbled a tired yes. "You said something about an ogre." The rich heir propped his head up with a hand. He answered quietly. "Jack and the Beanstalk. You made up some lame-ass excuse with a line from the story." Naruto reached up to tug at a lock of raven dark hair, pulling slightly. Sasuke swatted the hand away. "Tell me." The black haired boy sighed and closed his eyes briefly; He wanted to get this right. Taking a deep breath, he began.
"Once upon a time, a poor widow lived with her only son, Jack, in a tiny little hut on the outskirts of town. Time had been harsh to the woman and finally, they were forced to sell their cow. 'Sell Milky-White,' she advised her lazy son. 'See how much you can get for her. Perhaps we will have supper tonight.'
"They named the cow Milky-White?" Naruto interjected. The storyteller shot him a poisonous look. The blond had the presence of mind to look ashamed. "Sorry. Carry on."
"So Jack ambled into town with the white cow behind him. A crooked old man stopped him on the way, inquiring as to the price. 'How much will you pay for her?' the boy asked. 'Five magic beans,' the man replied. Silly Jack took the offer and set home with a light heart.
"His mother was not so happy when she learned that her lazy child had come back with only a handful of ordinary beans. 'Dolt!' she screamed at him. 'We have no food because of your foolishness.' She threw the beans out the window and sent Jack off to bed without any supper.
"Sometime during the night, Jack was awaked by an eerie green light. The beans had grown into a sturdy beanstalk that reached into the clouds. The boy, curious as all boys were, climbed up the living staircase and found himself outside a large castle. He snuck inside and hid in the oven as a hideous looking ogre stomped into the kitchen. 'Fee, fie, foe, fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman. Be he live or be he dead, I'll grind his bones to bake my bread,' he roared.
"But look though he might, the ogre could not find Jack. When the creature finally left, Jack crept out of the oven and seized a bag of gold. He scrambled down the beanstalk and presented the hefty sum to his mother, who was overjoyed. The kind lady bought back Milky-White from the funny old man. The gold provided a fine living for a long time and mother and son lived happily for a time.
"Jack, after his taste of adventure, had developed a liking for harebrained ideas. Restless, he climbed up the beanstalk again and stole a white hen that laid solid gold eggs. He left before the ogre could catch him.
"Still, Jack was not content. This time he was not so lucky, and as he was stealing the ogre's magical harp, the ogre woke up. He bellowed in rage and raced after Jack. When Jack reached the bottom of the beanstalk, he grabbed an ax. He hacked at the sturdy trunk of the bean plant until it toppled over, bringing the ogre with it. The weight of the plant and the impact of the hard ground killed the giant. For days afterwards, people from miles of around came to gawk at the body and laud Jack as the greatest ogre-slayer the country had ever seen. Jack and his mother had the hen to lay an endless amount of gold and a harp to sing them the most beautiful music the heavens had ever heard, and they lived happily ever after, despite the woman's rheumatism and Jack's laziness."
A snore drifted softly to Sasuke's ears and he found Naruto asleep. He scoffed in annoyance; he had told the tale at the blond's insistence only to find said person happily dreaming away at the end. He watched the rise and fall of the smooth chest and ran fingers lightly over his ribcage. "Jack got his reward in the end for believing in a fairytale," he murmured to the sleeping boy. "What about you, Naruto-dobe? What will your reward be?" In his sleep, the orphan smiled sleepily and turned his face towards Sasuke.
He stood in front of the dairy section, contemplating the selection of milks. "It's not that hard, teme," Naruto jeered, poking the shorter boy in the stomach. A dark eye twitched. "Just get whole kind." So he did. Because more likely than not, Naruto would also be drinking his milk, and eating his food, and sleeping in his bed.
Finis
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