Ten years ago… in the year 2041…
The weeks had gone by and it was already towards the end of Blair's first semester in college. She had grown very close to Roxanne, the two of them becoming best of friends and doing almost everything together since they first met, ranging from their studies and ROTC to parties and campus social events. It was late Saturday evening and the two of them were wrapping up their study session in Roxanne's room. They were preparing for their upcoming ROTC final in a couple days and Blair couldn't pass up the opportunity to study with the top student in their class.
"Man, this test seems like it's going to be a tough one," said Blair. She was wearing casual civilian attire as she reclined in her chair, putting up her legs and crossing them on the desk.
Roxanne was sitting in the adjacent desk, putting her study materials away. "You serious? The captain gave us all the SOBs and the other cadets compiled a study guide using them. What's so hard about that? We basically have all the answers right here," she said, turning to Blair.
Blair scoffed at her, slipping her hands into her pants pockets as she stared at her computer. "It's still a lot of stuff to memorize. So many lists and such," she said.
"Don't worry. After we finish up tomorrow, you'll be completely ready for the exam," said Roxanne with a smile.
"I guess," said Blair. She then snickered and looked around the room, jealous of Roxanne's new living arrangements. "I still can't believe you have this place all to yourself. You're so frickin' lucky…"
"Yeah, well. It was only a matter of time before my roommate got caught doing drugs with her good-for-nothing boyfriend," said Roxanne.
"Where did she get caught again?" asked Blair.
"A faculty bathroom. The idiots didn't even realize it when they went in to smoke some drugs. I'm glad she got caught and expelled from the school. Now I have the entire room to myself," said Roxanne, basking in the luxury of having all that space to live in.
"Pfft. What an idiot," said Blair as she began rocking in her seat. Suddenly, the sound of thunder in the distance startled her, causing her to rock too hard and fall back in her chair. She was unable to stop the fall in time and struck the ground with a thump, hitting the back of her head against the floor. Fortunately, there was a rug there to cushion some of the blow.
After seeing her friend go down hard, Roxanne quickly got up from her seat to assist her. "Whoa! Blair, you okay?" she asked, crouching down to help her up.
Blair winced and cursed under her breath, rubbing the back of her head as she laid on the ground. "Ow… I'm fine. Just a little dizzy is all," she said, still laying on the ground. She then heard the sound of thunder again in the distance and shuddered, promptly getting up and dusting herself off.
Seeing such a quick recovery, Roxanne stood up and went to inspect the damage. "Well, you're not bleeding at least," she said, feeling the back of Blair's head and sighing with relief. "You should be okay. The rug saved you from a lot of hurt."
Blair was feeling very uneasy as her eyes darted around, still shaking a bit. "Uh, it's getting late, right? If there's nothing else we need to do, I think I should be heading on back to my room," she said.
"Huh? In this weather? Do you have an umbrella or rain jacket?" asked Roxanne, sitting back down at her desk.
"Uh… no. B- But don't worry! I don't want to overstay my welcome and all that. You know? And you like your sleep, so I'll let you get to it," said Blair as she hurriedly began packing her things from Roxanne's old roommate's desk.
Roxanne tilted her head, puzzled at Blair's sudden change in demeanor. "What? You can't possibly be thinking about walking all the way back to your dorm in these conditions. It's cold, wet, and dark out. Maybe…," she said, looking away momentarily and thinking her words over before continuing. "If you want, you can stay here for the night. I basically have two beds, even though they're pushed together," said Roxanne.
Blair paused for a moment, thinking the unexpected offer over. She stood by her desk until the sound of thunder getting louder prompted her to put her backpack on, getting it on with a single movement. "Uh, I don't think that's going to be a good idea. I don't want to be a nuisance. I'll just tough it out," she said, starting for the door.
Before she could reach it, Roxanne grabbed Blair's sleeve and stopped her. "Now just wait a minute. What kind of friend would I be if I allowed you to go out there like this? It's practically storm conditions out there. You won't be intruding, I promise. Just stay here for the night and when the rain calms down, and when it's lighter out, then you go back," she said.
Blair remained silent, contemplating her predicament as did Roxanne, the sound of heavy raining outside filling the room. "You must really want me to stay, huh?" asked Blair with a troubled smile.
Roxanne rolled her eyes and sneered at her. "Oh please. I'm just trying to give myself some peace of mind is all. If I let you go, and find out the next morning that some poor soul was mugged or assaulted around the same time you left, I'd never forgive myself. I know you think you can take on anyone, but as a precaution, I can't let you go. You understand where I'm coming from, right?" said Roxanne, letting go of Blair's jacket.
Blair continued to fidget, looking from the door to Roxanne and back again. She really didn't want to be there when the thunder got closer, but how could she refuse Roxanne's generous offer? With a heavy and prolonged sigh, Blair took off her backpack and set it down. "Got an extra pair of pajamas I can borrow?" she asked.
"Of course," said Roxanne with a smile, pleased that her friend didn't put up more of a fight.
After getting a pair of pajamas from her, Blair got changed while Roxanne washed up in her bathroom. Once they were ready for bed, Roxanne showed her where she'd be sleeping. Since Roxanne had the room to herself, she had pushed both bunks together to form a single bed. It was raised slightly also to allow for extra storage space underneath for drawers, so they still had to climb up, but at least it wasn't as high as Blair's bunk.
"Don't tell me I'll be sleeping up there with you," said Blair as she followed Roxanne to the bed. She appeared to be skeptical even though she didn't have a problem with it but in fact desired it.
"You got a problem? Unless you want to move all this furniture by yourself then this is what you got. It's not like we'll be cuddling or anything like that. We'll have our backs to each other and if you're really that uncomfortable with sharing the bed, we can put a pillow between us," said Roxanne.
"Don't worry about the pillow. I think we'll be fine without it," said Blair, quick to respond as she got up on the bed first. She crawled across the bed, claiming the spot next to the wall. "I mean, you know, since we're chicks and such good friends and all."
Roxanne smiled then turned off the room's main light, following her up afterwards. The lamp on her bed frame still illuminated the room enough to see. "You can face the wall and I'll face the edge of the bed," she said, pausing midway up. "Need anything else?"
Blair shook her head, trying to get comfy under the sheets as she faced the wall. "I'm fine. And uh, thanks again for letting me stay with you," she said softly, feeling stressed and excited at the same time.
"It's no big deal. I'm sure you would've done the same for me," said Roxanne with a smile.
Blair blushed, but since she was facing the wall, Roxanne didn't see. "Yeah. Goodnight," she said, feeling a bit more relaxed from having her friend so close.
"All right then. See you in the morning. Goodnight," said Roxanne as she turned off the lamp after getting under the sheets as well. She lay on her side and rested her head on her pillow, facing the edge of the bed as she closed her eyes.
#
Roxanne tossed in bed, the sound of the rain outside much louder than before. She stirred as the hail of water on the roof and window continued to ring in her ears, though, there was another sound that made them twitch. Every time the sound of thunder boomed, she heard an almost shriek-like sound or hiccup from beside her. The constant bombardment of noise caused Roxanne to fully wake up, although slowly and still a bit drowsy.
"Huh? …what is that?" asked Roxanne, raising her head to look around the room. It was near pitch black out, so there was really no use trying to see what was causing the sounds. She remained still and noticed slight movements from beside her. Curious as to what was going on, Roxanne turned towards the source, finding Blair hiding under the blankets. "…Blair? Are you awake?" she asked in a whisper. She scooted closer and noticed that her friend was quivering underneath the sheets.
"Y- Yes…," said Blair with a hushed tone.
Roxanne rubbed her eyes, still groggy from being awoken prematurely from her slumber. "Well, what are you doing?" she asked.
Blair remained silent for a few more moments, motionless until a streak of lightning flashed followed by a massive thunder boom sounding nearby. She shrieked out loud this time, cowering underneath the sheets as she gripped them closer to her body. "Just- Just forget about me. Go back to sleep," she said, her voice muffled by the blankets.
With a dazed yawn, Roxanne blinked and tried to focus on the covered heap lying beside her. "I would love to, but besides the onslaught of the rain, I have a trembling body yelping next to me every time a tiny bit of thunder sounds," she said.
"…shut up," said Blair with a sneer, still cowering underneath the safety of her covers.
Roxanne was awfully cranky and grimaced at Blair who was still trembling in her spot as she sniffled and whimpered. "You mean to tell me that Badass Blair is afraid of a little thunder?" she asked, poking at her through the sheets.
Blair grasped her head with her hands and cried out. "I said- SHUT THE HELL UP!"
The sudden outburst from Blair sobered Roxanne up, making her fully alert and awake. She then realized the situation and how insensitive she was being, especially after studying phobias days before in her psychology class. "I'm- I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Please, come on out at least. It's not good to cover your head like that," she said, moving a hand over to Blair. She was hesitant to reach out at first, and when she finally touched Blair's shoulder, Blair cringed in her vulnerable state. "It's all right, Blair," said Roxanne.
After gently grasping the covers, Roxanne pulled them down, revealing Blair's head and upper body. She was curled up in the fetal position, her back to Roxanne as she cried softly. Blair remained speechless, only letting out sobs of fright and the occasional hiccup. Another thunder rumble caused her to shudder severely; the thunderstorm was right on top of them, making the side-effects of lightning amplified in intensity. Roxanne began stroking Blair's arm tenderly to calm her down. "Blair, there's no need to be afraid. You do know what thunder is, right?" she asked.
Blair gritted her teeth and jerked away from Roxanne. "I know… you frickin', sarcastic bitch," she said.
Roxanne reeled from the remark, but after thinking about what she had said, she sneered at herself and shook her head. "Sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out like that," she said, smiling at Blair.
With her back still to Roxanne, Blair was about to say something until a sudden roar of thunder echoed above them. She shook with terror and cowered, talking hysterically. "I told you this was a bad idea! Now neither of us can get sleep and you'll hate me for costing you sleep and the thunder won't stop and-" Before Blair could continue blabbering, she suddenly felt a body press up against her back as an arm wrapped around her. The sudden warmth of another person momentarily calmed her down, putting her at ease as she tried to comprehend what was going on. "…Roxanne?" she asked.
"Just try and get some sleep, okay? We can talk more in the morning," said Roxanne as she held Blair close. She had read about a similar method used to calm a person down who had astraphobia, but this was more improvisation than anything academic.
The feeling of Roxanne holding her from behind put Blair at ease. Her heartbeat and breathing slowed down as the tears ceased rolling down her cheeks. Blair nodded and closed her eyes, focusing on nothing other than the feeling of Roxanne's body pushed against her own. The softness of her chest, the gripping sensation of her arms wrapped around her torso, and the gentle feeling of her exhaling softly against the back of her neck, it was almost heavenly to her. For the first time since they went to bed, she was finally able to smile as she drifted off to sleep, safe in her friend's caring embrace.
#
Roxanne stirred as her natural body clock awoke her from her slumber. She remained still and slowly opened her eyes, only to come face to face with another girl in her bed. Startled, she opened them fully and backed away, wholly seeing a red-headed girl with traces of orange in her hair sleeping soundly beside her. After getting a grip on herself, she recalled the events from last night and exhaled quietly, relieved that Blair managed to get some sleep after all. Before getting out of bed, something about Blair caught her eye so she took a moment to watch her sleep. Roxanne felt a pleasant warmth inside her due to having Blair so serenely situated next to her. She shook her head, trying to rid her head of silly thoughts and pointless fantasy. Her mind was just distracted with such things in order to avoid thinking about work, so she had to focus. There was still much to do before the exam the next day. She decided to let Blair sleep a bit longer while she got ready, carefully getting out of bed without waking her friend and making her way into the bathroom.
When Blair finally awoke, she was off put by being in such a large bed and wearing clothes not familiar to her. The shirt was a bit loose which wasn't normal, but fortunately she liked loose clothing. The pants, on the other hand, were a bit tighter, but not too tight. She finally remembered where she was and looked around for her friend. "Roxanne?" she managed to say, although with a raspy voice.
Hearing her guest's voice, Roxanne turned around and looked up at her. "Down here," she said.
Blair pulled herself to the edge of the bed and looked down, seeing Roxanne sitting at her desk, already dressed and washed up. "Are you okay?" she asked, rubbing her eyes before moving her bangs out of the way with a whisk of her hand.
Roxanne snickered, giving her a friendly smile. "I was about to ask you the same thing," she said.
Seeing that Roxanne was in such good spirits, Blair was able to relax. "I'm… fine. I'm doing all right, thanks to you. I- I… really appreciate what you did for me last night. I had a feeling I was going to freak out once the thunder got closer to us, so… yeah. That was so uncool of me. I'm sorry," said Blair. She began feeling gloomy and moped, staring blankly ahead of her as she rested her head on her hands.
"It's perfectly understandable. We all have fears with varying degrees of magnitude. If anything, I should be the one apologizing for being such a grumpy, erhem, 'bitch' about it," said Roxanne with a chuckle.
Blair smiled as well, finding it amusing every time Roxanne cursed. "I forgive you. Being deathly afraid of thunder isn't exactly something a normal person has to deal with, so I'm glad you were there for me. It felt… nice," she said.
"I'm glad you thought so. We studied about several phobias in my psychology class and how to deal with them. I'm just relieved I was able to help and apply what I learned," said Roxanne as she stood up, stepping towards the bed. "Take all the time you need, then we can have breakfast together before continuing with our studying."
"That sounds nice. I won't be too long. I'll give you a call once I'm ready," said Blair as she carefully climbed down off the bunk. She quickly undressed, taking off the loaned pajamas right there and then and changing back into her clothes from yesterday. Once she was ready, Blair gave Roxanne a friendly smile, heading out into the bright and clear morning back to her room.
After they were both ready for the day, Blair and Roxanne met up at Clark, the closest dining hall to their dorms. They grabbed their meals and sat together at a table just big enough for the two of them. Blair decided to get a Belgian waffle accented with strawberry preserves and a generous heaping of whipped topping. Roxanne, alternatively, got a healthier meal consisting of fresh fruit and a bagel with a light helping of cream cheese. Once they were settled in at their table, they picked up from where they had left off in Roxanne's room.
"So, were you able to sleep well?" asked Roxanne, skewering a piece of watermelon with her fork.
"Yeah. Surprisingly, right after you… um, you know…," said Blair, flustered as she began recounting the feeling of Roxanne against her the night before.
Roxanne started to get red around the cheeks as well, finding in hindsight what they did to be a bit more intimate than she thought. "I hope you're not too… uh, disturbed about it. I mean, the whole… 'cuddling' thing. I only did it to calm you down enough so you could sleep," she said.
"Um, uh, yeah. It was fine. I didn't mind it at all," said Blair, glancing away. She then snickered and looked back to Roxanne with a wily smirk. "And I thought you said we wouldn't be doing that sort of thing, eh?"
Thinking back to what Roxanne said before when they were getting ready for bed, she chuckled as well, smiling warmly. "I suppose I did say that. Sorry for misleading you; twas not my intent to get that close to you," she said, sticking her tongue out at her.
After feeling overwhelmingly self-conscious, Blair tried to divert the attention from her by deflecting the question right back to her. "How about you? Did you sleep okay?" she asked.
"Me? Oh I slept fine as well. I guess sleeping in that position was much more comfortable than I thought it would be," said Roxanne, unphased by telling her the truth.
Hearing that remark made Blair blush even more. It seemed everything Roxanne said was making her feel all warm inside. She could barely get a hold of her words and responded with the only thing she could, a witty remark. "Ha, I guess you don't spoon with your boyfriend often then, huh?" she said.
With a slight tilt of the head, Roxanne looked to Blair in a confused manner. "Boyfriend? What boyfriend?" she asked.
Blair quickly took a drink of her milk and got a hold of herself, wiping her mouth with a napkin before looking back to Roxanne. "You don't have a boyfriend?" she asked, a bit surprised yet relieved.
Roxanne shook her head, seemingly not bothered by Blair's assumption. "Nope," she said.
"Oh. Well, ever had a boyfriend?" asked Blair, excited by the sudden change of topic.
Again, Roxanne shook her head, though not sadly or regrettably. "Never. No time to engage in a relationship, especially in high school. I was nearly in over my head with school and extracurricular activities, though, I didn't mind it and I still don't. Business comes first, then pleasure. I can start dating once I've graduated and gotten my career started," she said.
"That sucks. So you've never experienced love before?" asked Blair, feeling sorry for Roxanne after hearing her lack of a relationship history.
"Well, I wouldn't say that. I may have had my crushes and all, but that's all they were, childish crushes. I eventually grew out of them and never looked back," said Roxanne.
"I'm sorry to hear that. You're such an awesome person. I bet you could have had anyone you wanted," said Blair, her guard lowering by the second.
"Aw, that's nice of you to say," said Roxanne with a smile. "So how about you? Do you have a boyfriend? I'm sure you do, being the popular and athletic person you are."
Blair scoffed, stuffing her hands in her pockets as she glanced away. "Nah. Pfft. I'm not into guys," she said. Immediately after she said that, she froze, startled at the notion of potentially revealing herself to be a lesbian.
"Wait. What did you say?" asked Roxanne with a critical look, setting her utensils down while leaning closer.
Blair fidgeted in her seat as she began to panic. "Er, I mean- I'm not into… flies! I just hate it when a fly gets in your soup, am I right?" she said, smiling awkwardly as she tried to cover up her slip.
Unfortunately, Roxanne wasn't buying it and crossed her arms, resting them on the table top. "No. You said you're 'not into guys'. So does that mean you like… girls?" she asked, remaining serious as all traces of cheerfulness from before dissipated.
When asked to confirm Roxanne's suspicions, Blair remained silent, avoiding eye contact with her at all costs. She choked on her words and couldn't utter a peep.
Without getting a reply from her, Roxanne pressed on as Blair stayed speechless. "You're a lesbian, aren't you?" she asked, eyeing her closely.
Finally, Blair managed to clear her throat enough for a single word. "…yeah," she said, nodding her head slightly. She glanced over to Roxanne and met her gaze, but only for a moment before looking away.
Roxanne sighed, unsure of how to take in the news. "Well, this is uh… different. I'm not sure how I feel about this," she said.
Blair began to worry, afraid for the future of their relationship. "Wh- Why would me being gay be any different than normal? I mean, I'm still the same old me," she said.
"Yeah, but now that I know you're attracted to females, it changes the whole dynamic of our relationship. Take last night for instance. I probably wouldn't have been so physical had I known you fancied other women. I mean, who knows what could've happened," said Roxanne, her tone apprehensive and concerned. She kept her unwavering gaze glued on her friend, a torrent of thoughts swimming in her head.
"Pfft. What do you mean by that? Just because you found out that I'm a lesbian, you think I… what? Would've done something to you? What the hell, man? We're best friends! I would never do something like that to you!" said Blair, leaning forward as well as she met Roxanne's vexed expression.
Roxanne exhaled deeply, rubbing her temples with her fingers as she closed her eyes. "Please don't raise your voice at me, Blair. I wasn't accusing you of anything, despite how my words may have sounded. I know we're friends and all, so to alleviate your fears, yes, we can continue being friends. I…," she said, sighing again before meeting Blair's eyes. "I just need some time to think about our continued friendship and come up with some… boundaries or something. I don't know. Everything's different now that I know my best friend could possibly be attracted to me," she said before eyeing Blair closely. "Are you… attracted to me?" she asked, her gaze unyielding.
Blair choked on her words, never having felt more apprehensive before in her life. "I- I- Rox, please, don't do this…," she said as she looked to Roxanne with a distraught look on her face.
The lack of a clear response confirmed Roxanne's suspicions. "I see. Then this definitely changes things for us," she said.
As the anxiety and stress began to build within Blair, she gritted her teeth and glanced away. "So I'm guessing you're… straight?" she asked.
Roxanne took a moment to think it over, honestly not quite sure what she was. "At the moment, I suppose so, but…" She struggled to continue on and shook her head, dismissing the thought of possibly being gay. "Yes. I'm into guys and not girls."
"Oh," said Blair, her heart dying with every passing second. There was a brief moment of silence between the two as they tried to digest the conversation so far.
Suddenly, Roxanne broke the silence with a question. "…how long?" she asked.
Caught off guard, Blair broke out of her stupor and gulped. "How long what?" she asked.
"How long have you been, you know, a lesbian?" asked Roxanne.
Blair thought for a moment and recalled her first homosexual experience. "Since high school, so way before I met you," she said.
"Then why? Why didn't you tell me sooner?" asked Roxanne.
"I- I just…," said Blair as she squirmed in her seat, the conversation taking its toll on her. "I liked you so I- I didn't want to ruin what we had. Please… Please don't be mad at me."
Roxanne was having an equally hard time trying to keep calm, her mind racing at a million miles a second. "This is a lot to take in. I think it'll be best that we take a break from seeing each other for a bit, just to clear our heads," she said.
Upon hearing that, Blair began to get visibly upset as she struggled to contain her tears. "R- Roxanne… please, don't…," she said.
Unable to make her friend cry like that, Roxanne mustered up what cheerfulness she had left and put on a consoling smile, resting a hand on Blair's. "Don't worry, Blair. We're still best of friends, the very best. I just need a few hours to collect myself. Don't forget, we still have to finish studying for our exam tomorrow, right? So get your head straight as well and I'll meet you at the library at four, okay?" she said.
Blair was suffering from mixed emotions and was only able to nod, wiping her tears away with her sleeve.
"Good. See you later," said Roxanne as she got up. Before leaving, she gave Blair a pat on the back then left, leaving her friend to wallow in her sorrow by herself.