Chapter One

She had watched him for the past few weeks. Every morning as Elaine poured coffee at her café for people she'd known practically all her life, he would bring Jimmy to the playground across the street and play basketball with him in the small park the town had built for the local kids.

She smiled. He was awful at it, but he certainly tried. His physical prowess offered him an obvious advantage, but he still lacked the skill that comes with practice.

What unnerved her slightly was that he always seemed to know the moment her eyes were on him. He'd pause, body stiffening, muscles coiling as he sensed her gaze. Then he would turn, and she would break away from the window, swiftly hiding herself in the kitchen. It was almost exhilarating, a game of sorts.

She didn't think it would warrant his sudden appearance at her side in the back of the building as she threw yesterday's trash into the dumpster. She'd been too tired to do it the previous evening.

She startled, hand flying to her heart as adrenaline rushed throughout her body. Damn, he was so quiet, it was terrifying.

"Why do you keep watching me?" he demanded. He towered above her, clad in black, and though he wore a hoodie under his leather jacket and had sweatpants on, he still held an air of danger around him like a shield. It saddened her more than scared her, that he had all walls up for her, some woman who did nothing more than look at him funny.

When her pulse finally started to slow, she blew out an exasperated breath. She picked up the other bag and tossed it in beside the first and closed the lid. "You're hanging around Jimmy a lot, I was curious."

He eyed her suspiciously.

She leaned against the brick wall of the building. "I haven't seen him smile like that in a long time. I think it's sweet, what you're doing."

He snorted. "Do you have any idea who I am?"

She licked her lips and smiled slightly. "Yes, Bucky. I know who you are."

His eyes roamed their surroundings, especially scanning the trees behind them. She followed his hyper-aware gaze. He seemed frightened.

She didn't want that, so she clarified. "I knew Nat. She kind of saved my life, and I sort of helped her out of a scrape. She kept in touch. It was nice."

His brows knit together in disbelief. He regarded her then, taking her in from blonde ponytail to scuffed black Vans. The apron around her waist was stained from years of spills no amount of Oxyclean could penetrate. "And who are you?"

"Elaine. I own the café."

"How do you know Jimmy?"

She shook her head at the interrogation. "Dated his brother. How do you know Jimmy?"

Bucky, paused, swallowed, and looked away.

Ah. She had guessed, but he'd just confirmed it.

She took a step toward him but stopped when he flinched back. He reminded her of a wounded animal. "It's alright. I understand."

The unbelievable well of emotion that flooded his eyes as they suddenly bore into hers rocked her off her even keel. There was so much despair in those eyes, how could a person stand it?

"How could you possibly understand?" he spat.

Elaine shrugged and tried to ignore the sting of sudden tears. Seeing his pain and guilt uncovered a bit of her own that she hadn't felt in a long time. "I can see it in your eyes."

She knew what James Barnes had done; what people had made him do. It was heartbreaking to realize such things could be done to another person. Nat had told her things about the Avengers she probably shouldn't have, but Nat had always said Elaine had proven she could be trusted. But she wasn't about the tell the Winter Soldier she knew of his past from some candid girl talk. For all her strength and cunning, even Nat had admitted she'd once been afraid of the man now standing before Elaine. The man who killed the only brother of a sad, lonely boy.

That was why he was doing this, to ease his guilt, make amends. It was all he could do.

His jaw clenched at her soft words, and an impenetrable wall fell over his eyes. They were suddenly so cold she forgot how to breathe. How terrifying it must have been for those eyes to be the last thing you saw. She shivered, but knew he wouldn't hurt her, no matter how scary he could be.

He stepped toward her, but she tamped down the instinct to push herself further back into the wall. That made him pause, brows crinkling in curiosity only briefly before he said, "Stop watching me. I can't stand the feeling."

He turned and stalked away.

Elaine sighed. She couldn't help but think his words could be interpreted two different ways.

The next day, she tried to keep her eyes on her customers, she really did. But somehow, she could feel when he arrived across the street. No matter his past of stealth and hiding in shadows, he had a presence she couldn't ignore, even from a hundred yards away.

He knew she was there, and she would be lying if she denied the thrill that shot up her spine at the thought. She'd been gifted with knowledge about this dangerous, broken man, and now, unbelievably, he was here in her small town.

This man had killed Jimmy's brother. She had no proof, but the look in Bucky's eyes had told her everything. Jonathan had always been smart, a graduate from MIT and a promising young engineer at Stark industries. But he never could stay away from a challenge, and Elaine knew Jon had gotten mixed up in something he should have left alone. Ten years ago, he was a casualty of a killer sent to assassinate his team and steal the research he'd been developing. Jon had kept in touch with her, told her he was working on something life changing. She wished she'd told him to be more careful, to come home to her, maybe they could try again, but it was a what-if she couldn't afford to dwell on. And she knew they hadn't loved each other enough for it to have worked anyway.

She didn't blame Bucky; it wasn't his fault. When Natasha found out about Jon, she caught a familiar scent. Elaine didn't hear from her for a month. Nat did some digging of her own, discovered it was the work of the Winter Soldier, and passed the information on to Elaine. She was grateful to at least know the 'who' and the 'why'. When Bucky had been freed from his life of brainwashing and servitude, joining himself with the Avengers, Elaine never once found it within herself to hold a grudge for what he'd done. Everyone knew the Winter Soldier had been used by cruel people for many years, but little knew of the details. Elaine did, thanks to Nat. It helped her grieve Jon's death and move on.

Jimmy was nearly seventeen, not a little kid anymore, but to Elaine he would always be the boy who cried in her arms at his brother's funeral. Jon had only been twenty-seven, his birthday was only a month before hers. Losing him was hard. He was the only relationship she ever had. They'd been together since middle school, only really calling it off when she realized he was more like a brother to her than a partner. He understood, and said his work was his wife anyway. She'd laughed at that, and they'd stayed close friends, as they'd been since childhood, until his death.

Elaine gasped. She'd been staring at Bucky again, and now he was crossing the street looking positively pissed.

"Shit," she muttered under her breath. Her mind was always getting away from her and getting her into trouble.

She hurried behind the counter and pretended to take stock of the pastries in the front display. She knew she wouldn't fool him, but at least there would be a barrier between them. And old George was still here, finishing up his morning brew a few feet away.

Bucky slammed through the door, causing the bell to ring out loudly in the quiet. It jarred old George so much, he dropped his cup. It fell and shattered on the floor. Elaine blew out a breath to find some semblance of patience. She wasn't afraid of Bucky and knew she should handle him with a measure of delicacy, but such behavior aggravated her. She wasn't hurting Bucky by watching him, and surely, he'd been made to feel far less comfortable before than by some woman simply staring at him.

"That was unnecessary, don't you think?" she asked, pleased that her tone was soft but stern. She would not let him rile her up. She picked up the broom and dustpan from behind the kitchen door and went to clean up the mess. She put a hand on George's shoulder when she was done. "I'll get you a fresh cup of coffee on the house, Joe."

His eyes crinkled as he smiled at her. "That's all right, Lainey. I's just about done anyway. You have a nice day, now."

"See you tomorrow, George," she said as the older man regarded Bucky with a frown and left.

Bucky clenched his jaw. "I thought I asked you to stop staring at me," he said darkly.

Elaine dumped the jagged remnants of the mug into the trash bin. "You didn't ask, actually."

Bucky closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He unclenched his fists and his shoulders dropped. When his blue eyes opened and met hers, they were softer than she expected. "Sorry. I'm a little… touchy about being a spectacle. Most people don't recognize me. Or if they do, they avoid looking at me."

Elaine bit her lip. "I'm sorry, too. I didn't mean to upset you. I was caught up in my thoughts. Didn't realize I'd drifted until you started walking across the street."

"Easily distracted, huh?"

She chuckled. "I guess so."

"Can I ask what you were thinking so hard about, then?"

She looked at him. He was handsome. Well-fitting black jeans and a leather jacket only added to his physical appeal. But his eyes were infinitely gentle in this moment, and it made her feel suddenly raw. She turned away from him to break away from his gaze and poured him a cup of black coffee.

"Here," she said, handing it to him. "I'll hazard a guess you take it black."

He took a long gulp and nodded. "You'd be right. Are you going to answer my question?"

"If I said you really didn't need to know, would you let it go?"

He took another sip. "Probably not. At least, not forever."

"Fair, I suppose."

When all he did was raise his eyebrows at her, she laughed. "I'm not going to give away all my secrets just because the Winter Soldier is asking for them."

"Fair, as you said," he paused. "How did you know Nat, again?"

"Mmm, that's a story I think I'll take to my grave."

"Not very trusting, are you?"

"More like I'm too loyal to spill."

He nodded in understanding, gaze drifting far away. "There are some things we never tell anyone… no matter how much we trust them."

"Out of fear of it being too much…" she whispered. "For either party."

"Yeah."

He took another gulp, finishing off the cup and set it down on the counter between them. He got out his wallet and made to hand her some bills, but she stopped him with a soft hand on his gloved one. She could feel the unearthly metal beneath. Elaine knew that secret, too. The flash of danger in his eyes at her touch only proved even more so than before how imperative it was that she tread carefully, but gently, with this man. He deserved kindness after everything, and that was easy for her to give. "No need for that," she said. "The first cup is always on the house."

He seemed at a sudden loss for words, but when she removed her hand from his, he slipped his wallet back into his pocket and said, "Thank you, Elaine."

Then he walked out the door.