And I almost went downstairs just to write this, but in the end I fell asleep. So I'm writing it now.
Enjoy.
PS: Don't want to ruin anything for anyone who hasn't seen the episodes yet, but in this story Charlie and Claire aren't fighting and the FEMALE CHARACTER who was MURDERED is still around too.
Okay.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own Lost.
QUOTE: "James... you're not at a wedding." -Uncle Leo when James was blowing straw wrappers at people's heads.
-WARNING-
-CHAPTER FOUR-
-BY WHENICOMEAROUND-
Kate kept to herself in the days following Sawyer's death, not speaking much to anyone but Jack. She sat on the beach, day after day, sometimes crying, sometimes just staring into the waves. If it weren't for Jack she wouldn't eat at all. He would bring her fruit and boar and refill her water for her. Kate would only speak to him.
Not that everyone didn't try to make her talk- Claire and Charlie came, with Aaron in tow, to ask her how she was feeling, but she said nothing. Shannon and Sun brought her flowers, but Kate didn't even look at them. Hurley came, cracking jokes and trying to make her smile, but Kate had no heart left inside her.
"Come on, dude. You're like one of those friggin British soldier guard guys." Hurley pleaded.
Kate remained stubbornly silent.
"All right, fine. But I don't get why you're so upset. He was a bit of an asshole, anyway."
Hurley left, and Kate started crying.
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As he chopped wood for the fire, Jack watched Kate from afar, knowing that he'd have to go make her get up- or at least, talk to him. She was a wreck.
"She loves you."
Jack turned around to see Ana Lucia standing behind him, with that I-Think-I-Know-Everything look on her face.
"What?"
"She loves you." Ana repeated, crossing her arms over her chest and sidestepping around him.
Jack chortled. "What makes you say that?"
"Because. She only talks to you. She'll only respond to you. And when she's in her normal state of mind, she's all over you, man."
Jack snorted, but his ears reddened. He picked up a log and tossed it in the pile he was making.
"So." said Ana. "What are you gonna do?"
Jack turned to look at her. "What, about Kate?"
"No, the Muffin Man. What do you think?" said Ana sarcastically.
Jack didn't appreciate this. He turned around, said, "Nothing. I'm not going to do anything.", and slammed a piece of wood with his ax.
Ana rolled her eyes. "Your call, doc." she said. Then she left.
Once she was gone, Jack sighed. He put down his ax and headed towards Kate. And even though he rarely listened to anything Ana Lucia had to say, since it was generally a load of crap, her words were ringing in his ears: "She loves you."
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Kate felt a cloth around her and warm hands on her shoulders. She didn't turn around, but she knew it was Jack.
Kate pulled her blanket tighter and Jack sat down beside her. "How are you doing, Kate?" he asked her.
Kate didn't answer right away, but when she did she said, "Okay."
"That's good." said Jack, staring out into the sea. A cool ocean breeze came upon them, blowing Kate's hair and blanket.
The two sat in silence for more than a minute, then Jack said, "Kate?"
She looked at him. "Yeah?"
"Do you want to take a walk with me?"
Kate nodded. "Yeah. Okay."
"Really?"
"Yes." said Kate.
"All right, then." said Jack, standing, then helping her stand. She hadn't been on her feet in more than twenty-four hours.
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Kate and Jack walked along the path in the jungle, the sky already dark overhead. Neither of them said anything. They didn't have to. Both of them were too busy thinking and feeling things to say anything.
Then Jack broke the silence with, "I wanted to thank you."
"What for?" said Kate, looking at him.
"For doing what you did." said Jack. "I thought about it, and I realized that you did the right thing. I was the one who was wrong. You were right. I couldn't have saved him."
Kate nodded, but tears welled up in her eyes. "Killing someone is never right." she whispered.
"Kate," Jack began. "don't."
But Kate was crying now, fully-fledged crying, and she was so weak she could barely stand anymore. Jack held her in his strong arms. She felt a slight sense of comfort, because it was him.
Jack grimaced. He held her in his arms and whispered to her mess of dark, tangly hair, "Let's get you back to the caves."
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She was too weak to walk, so he carried her back to the caves. They were almost empty. It was a nice night, so most people were sleeping on the beach.
Jack laid Kate down and covered her with a blanket. She reached for his hand. She was still crying.
"You did the right thing, Kate." Jack murmured, holding her hand in his. "you saved me."
Kate sobbed on. She'd saved him.
If only she could save herself.
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She fell asleep in his arms. After an hour, maybe two, of stroking her hair, Jack fell asleep too.
Kate woke up around midnight, her hand still laced in Jack's. Her eyes were crusted together. A fresh wave of tears washed away the old as she stood up.
Kate looked at Jack's sleeping body. She knew that she was in love with him. She knew that was why she killed Sawyer, instead of anyone else. Because Jack couldn't save him. She knew that she'd also killed him because she hated herself, and hated who she was. Who she'd become.
Quietly, Kate stood, trying not to wake Jack. She knew what she had to do. She found Sayid, who was asleep no more than eight yards away, and gently, swiftly, reached into his pocket and pulled out his knife. He stirred, but didn't wake. She put it in her own pocket.
Still crying, she headed for the exit, but stopped halfway. She walked back to Jack and kissed his cheek, gently.
"I love you, Jack." she whispered, then she headed for the beach.
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Jack felt a gentle tickle on his face and woke up halfway. About a minute later, he heard Sayid's shout and woke up completely.
"It's gone! My knife! It's gone!"
Jack sat up and blinked, focusing in on Sayid, who was shouting and tearing apart the cave.
"Are you sure you had it when you went to sleep?" came Michael's voice.
"Yes! It was in my pocket! Someone stole it!"
Jack glanced around the cave. "Where's Kate?" he said.
Everyone remained silent.
Jack ran out of the caves, knowing what she was going to do. He had to stop her, before it was too late.
"Perfect." said Charlie. "How very lovely."
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Jack ran faster than he'd ever run in his life. He couldn't let her do this. He'd die if she was gone. She was all he had left. He needed her.
And she didn't realize it yet, but she needed him.
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When he reached her spot on the beach, he saw her, kneeling in the sand and holding the knife, illuminated by the moonlight.
"Kate!" he yelled. "Kate, don't do this!"
Kate looked at him, sobbed, "I'm sorry, Jack." and held out her wrist for the knife, but-
"NO!"
Jack ran forward and ripped the knife from Kate's grip. He threw it aside and pulled her into his arms. She was crying hysterically.
"No. Jack... let me go... I need to..."
She was unable to form a complete sentance. She was a wreck. She struggled against his grip for another few seconds, then gave up and let him pull her into his arms.
"Kate," Jack whispered. He was crying himself now. "what are you doing?"
"I shouldn't have killed him... I should have killed myself... I deserve to die... he didn't do anything... you didn't do anything... I need... I... Jack... I love... Jack... I love... you..." she babbled.
Jack held her tighter and whispered to her, "Kate. Kate, I love you."
Kate looked up at him. Her eyes were red and puffy. So were his. "What?" she whispered.
"Kate, I love you, and if you died, I would die too. I can't bear to lose you."
Then something surprising happened. For the first time in at least two weeks, Kate actually smiled.
She smiled and threw her arms around his neck and held him tight. She kissed his cheek, then kissed his cheek again. Over and over, and Jack said, "Stay with me, Kate. I love you."
"I love you too, Jack." she whispered, then she pressed her mouth against his and they kissed.
The knife lay forgotten by the side.