Bored, I decide to wander around Haven. My crisp snow of the floor teasingly touches my feet making me shiver from the ice cold foamy touch of snow. Freezing, I scowl at the ice cold bitter breathes of old man winter, nipping at my skin, practically feeling like hickeys on the skin from the frozen stinging sensation. Sighing, I decided to go inside for some warmth, to lessen the stinging sensation all over my body. I enter the chantry walls, my nose wincing at the heavy stench of essences, smoky waxy scent of candlewax and the heavy scent of dust. I wince from the bright grey balls of dust lingering in the air. However I spot the dimly lit candles, providing a wave of warmth into my no longer freezing body, lessening the harsh sensation coursing through my veins. I welcome the warm welcome of the chantry churches candles.

My feet shiver from the hard strong stone tiles. What to do now? Maybe I should go hunting again? Nothing wrong with more food for the people. Better than speaking to a certain mage hobo, urgh, I should be careful around him, I nearly let loose a truth I am not willing to share, especially to that mysterious apostate. Who knows what that sharp tongue is capable of…? I still don't trust him but out of him or snobby mage girl, I can't believe I'm saying this but he seems much to appealing, only due to his vast knowledge, not like I'd tell that prideful kaffas.

I'll admit just because I'm wary of magic does not mean I'm not fascinated by it. Unlike my brother who despises it, I am interested slightly, then again I could never recall why my fascination for what magic can discover but still, I don't trust those wielding it, never trust an apostate with a knife. They say it's for self-defence but we all know the real reason or the knife, weak willed, abominations.

"Ah, Fennic I presume," startled, I turn to the familiar, loud, firm and annoying voice of a mage. Frowning, I step forward but make sure to keep a distance as I furrow my brow at the confident lady.

"Depends, what does it matter?" I question him but my eyes narrowed as I feel a wave of anxiety hit me, my blood pumping as I scowl.

"Now, now my dear, frowning causes wrinkles you know," she smirks, stepping forward.

"Keep your distance apostate, just because Evelynn accepted you doesn't mean I will," I state.

"Oh my, so you will accept her mage but not me, what scared I'll turn you into a fox?" She smirks.

"Please, the girl couldn't hurt a fly; if she did she would cry about it," I smirk at her scowl.

"What scared I'll stab you?" I smirk revealing my blade making her eyes narrow at me as I feel a pair of worried gazes sent our way while I smirk and withdraw my blades. "Well that answers my question," I smirk.

"And here I thought I would say I hope my guests didn't treat you too poorly darling, I see why they would treat you rudely with your barbarian like manners," she sneers.

"You know, I'd rather be treated rudely rather than be a two faced noble abomination, believing that trapping children into the circle is best. Tell me wicked witch do you enjoy hearing yourself from that ivory tower? Thinking you're better than everyone knowing what's best without giving them the chance to speak due to some meaningless title," I ask smirking at her venomous glare.

"As suspected of the mage speaker," she scowls.

"Mage speaker?" I raise a brow.

"A title you earned from your little speech at Kirkwall, causing all those innocent mages to die by the hands of their weak wills and Templars, when they could have just surrendered and stop the bloodshed," she reasons coldly, making my eyes narrow at her. Enraged, I stride forward, shocking her as she flinches from my glare, her teeth bare as my body hakes in utter rage at her words.

"You know nothing of what took place at Kirkwall. Peace would never have been possible, the Templars and mages were bickering like children. My friend being forced to take a side and when peace was possible, the chantry blew up, your circle was gone, lost, the peace we thought, the balance we wanted, the hope of both mage and Templar working together, was gone blow away. Then war broke out. Everyone was scared, terrified and desperate. We were forced to fix the mistake and had to survive, we had no choice in the matter. And when the oh so powerful leader of the mages turned to that disgusting blood magic, typical of those desperate, the flock of sheep followed. I had to step in, I had to stop it, I had to do something to stop more bloodshed and chaos and I did it. So don't go blaming others when you were not there. You didn't feel the fear, you didn't hear the screams, cries and sobs of both mages and Templars, you didn't smell the bloodied smell of iron, dread and death in the air," I explain in a calm, sickly, sub-zero tone silencing Vivienne.

Wide-eyed, Vivienne stares at my speech. Shocked, her dark brown eyes widen in shock, shivering, quaking in utter anger from my calm, ice tone. Blinking, her heels click against the stone tiles, her back presses against the hard wooden desk, her small, lean, cold brown hand lays on the desk, gripping it strongly almost for support, to steady herself as I merely huff, trying to calm my racing heartbeat from my rant and the urge to just kill this close minded, snobby, know it all abomination where she stands, however I take in a steady breaths trying to calm my angered state and merely scowl.

Silently, I turn my back to the quiet abomination, my brow furrowed as I storm out, welcoming the ice cold wind of Havens climate as the snow around my feet, practically melts from my hot fiery steps, my body fuming in rage as I decide to storm off to cool my head…

Little did the two know, a certain apostate was watching the argument before them, his eyes glued to the white haired elf girl, storming off, muttering curses under her breath as she heads into the depths of the forest of Haven, to cool down…

Quietly, I look at Haven's scenery; the ice cool chill of the climate causes me to shiver from the snow touch of the weather. The cold wind blows, I hear the faint sound of leafs of trees rustling as the cold wind rustles my dark chocolate brown hair. My tanned skin shivers from the ice-cold hand of the wind teasingly touching my skin. My feet shiver from the soft snow, digging deep as my head lays in-between my knees, my fingertips entangle in my hair as I gently tug on the fine dark brown hairs, feeing the wave of panic, dread and alarm at the thoughts. One single decision will shake Thedas to its core one mistake and Thedas will be destroyed, one choice, one decision, one belief and if I fail, then I'm gone, I'm done, I'm dead along with all those innocent children, mothers, fathers, Qunari, elves, humans, dwarves, and others, everyone may die because of me, this army of seekers and Templars willing to lay down their life for us.

"All of this on me…"

"All those in the Hinderlands…"

"All those mages…"

"All those people…"

One wrong move and we're all done for…

Why? WHY ME!? I never asked for this! Glaring, I scowl at my bright glowed neon green mark, all because of that day I was given this mark, this 'blessing', this curse…

I just wanted to be free, I just wanted to see the animals I read in my books back at the tower, I just wanted to go out there, start anew maybe meet a guy, have a kid, boy then a girl of course so the boy can look after his little sister, that's all, a little life in the country, all happy maybe Mabari as well, the typical family but nope, this happened, this magic occurred, this…I never wanted this. I never wanted to be a mage, I never wanted to be an abomination, I never wanted the life of a circle mage. I never wanted the life of a noble either, all those parties, all those lies, all those balls, I hated it, despised it, disgusted by that lifestyle, I just wanted a nice, mundane, simple life that's all…

Whimpering, my tears come cascading down as I weep, seeing the slow teardrops slide down my face, the wet substance dampens my cheeks as the drops dive into the snow being absorbed into as I weep, my chapped lips taste the salty taste of tears as I weep however I stop when my ears perk up at the sound of crunching leafs.

Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I can't have someone see me like this, I can't let anyone see me crying, I can't it wouldn't only…

"And here I thought Hawke was a cry-baby,"

Shocked, my watery eyes widen at the familiar voice and lookup, my vision slightly blurry from my tears. I narrow my eyes quickly wiping away the tears for them to focus on a familiar head of snow white, matching the soft snow below and descending down upon us as we stand there, looking at one another, in brief silence.

"I never wanted this!" I wail, tears pouring out as I cry while Fen merely watches, her brow furrowed looking both awkward and not sure what to do as I merely cry. Desperate, I wrap my arms around her leg and cry as she jumps back in shock and almost repulsed by the touch, however no matter how hard she tugs, my iron grip merely tightens making her glare.

"Get off!" She orders.

"I can't do this!" I whimper.

Fennic pov:

"Oh just shut up!" My sharp voice silences the startled brat.

"Stop thinking this is just you!" I argue making her stop her loud, obnoxious and annoying sobs. "Huh?" Blinking, she looks up only to flinch from my sharp glare as I sigh at the child.

"I'll admit all this pressure on you is unfair however you shouldn't think this is all on you. You can consult people, get their opinion on the decision and think about it, thinking about all this pressure on you will only cause more stress and make you pass out or worse. You need to trust us more, trust us, I'm sure whatever choice you make, Josephine, Leliana and Curly will help you along the way. And…I suppose I can help you but know this, we are all bias we try not to be but we are, in the end it's your choice in the end, your burden to bear. Now stop crying, it's annoying and wipe those boogies away it's disgusting!" I order stiffly glaring as she quiets down, wiping away her tears and snot as she turns to smile at me while I scowl at her green sleeves that is vile…

"Now could you stop being such a cry-baby, get up and if you want to break down do it in your room or something…just not alone," I huff tired of her loudness.

"You care!" She smiles, holding her hands out for a hug as I take a step back at both the thought and attempt of contact and the disgusting mucus on her.

"Get away from me!" I bark.

"Oh you care deep down for me I know it, I knew you cared! You love me!" She grins happily as I sweat drop at the child before me and glare, she tries multiple times to dive at me for a hug. Fortunately, I have more experience with this kind of thing as I easily dodge her sloppy movement, until I grow weary and grab her by the scruff of her coat. "Come on," I groan dragging her like a puppy back to Haven.

"Enjoying yourself there bookworm!" Varric smirks as I groan.

"Very much so!" Evelyn whistles happily as I glare at the child before me.

"Reminds me of a mother pup bringing her cub home," Solas smirks.

"Don't you say a word!" I growl, face right up to the smug Solas, I stop the urge to sock him in the jaw as he smirks, clearly enjoying my annoyance.

"I wasn't going to say anything just enjoying the scenery," Solas smirks as I glare and huff, too tired to deal with the smart ass.

"You know what, screw you," I smile at his glare.

"Such a refined vocabulary," Solas retorts making me grumble as we continue on, ignoring the eyes sent our way as Evelyn happily hums, happy to be dragged while I glare, fed up with Haven, fed up with people and most of all fed up with life…

"So we're going after some warden?" I raise a brow at Evelyn's decision.

"Yep," Evelyn exclaims.

"A Grey warden could be useful," Cassandra nods her head in agreement.

"The more the merrier," Varric shrugs.

"…"

Solas frowns making me rise a brow at his silence and furrowed brow however the others are oblivious to it as we wander through the Hinderlands. As the others move on ahead, my turquoise eyes glance back between the sight before me and Solas, puzzled by his silence. Solas would have defiantly made his opinion on the matter yet he's silent, is he angry at the idea, tired or perhaps neutral, urgh, wait why do I care about his input, he's a know it all egghead! Scowling, I shake my head at the useless concern towards the apostate, the chilly wind picks up a few of my snow white hair gently as I shiver slightly from the ice cold chill of the wind, breathing down my neck making my neck shiver as I feel tiny goose bumps form from the cold.

"Oh Blood lotus! Perfect for some potions!" Evelyn gushes spotting a few by the lakebed as she dashes over with Varric and Cassandra chasing after her, to make sure she doesn't fall into the lake or worse with her enthusiasm.

Finally, I turn to Solas once we're alone.

"May I ask for the reason for your gaze on me?" Solas interrupts the tension, his silver tongue breaking the tension as I release a sigh and cross my arms.

"Is something wrong?" I enquire. "What makes you say that?" Solas raises a brow, faking.

"You were silent, if given a chance you happily tell them your view on the matter," I reason.

"Do I now?" He retorts.

"Yes," I confirm as another heavy silence overtake us but I don't back down, instead raising a brow challenging him.

"I don't believe recruiting this Grey Warden is a good idea that's all," Solas states his view.

"Okay, why not?" I enquire curious; the Grey Wardens happily accept mages, from what I heard. It's an organisation that helps us stop the Blight, saving everyone as well as unifying all races to fight for the same cause.

"They are unorganised and perform not thinking about the consequences of their reasoning, they understand so little and fight without looking for other solutions to stop the Blight," Solas explains making me go silence, I will admit I don't know much about the Grey wardens but from what g gathered, they aren't perfect…

"I can understand your reasoning, they do reckless things from what I have heard but that's it rumours. We do not know everything, we weren't there to listen in, we weren't making the decision, we weren't put in their shoes to understand how they felt and the reasoning for a certain decision," I explain.

"But I do, for I have walked through-"

"No you haven't," I argue silencing him as he raises a brow, his eyes twinkle almost at the challenge as he frowns, his eyes holding interest, suspense and amusement, almost as though I was an ant to him.

"You see the fade, you look into things in the fade, you wander into what they saw however it's a glass ceiling, a window to the scene, you are nothing but a viewer, observing what took place, you do not feel what they felt in the fade, because you know what happens, you don't feel their fear because you know what will occur, you do not understand the fear, the dread, the despair they felt as they had to fight in order to save the people," I explain silencing Solas. Victorious, I smirk a smug smirk only to frown when Solas smirks back, proud almost, happy, his eyes holding a spark of sorts, as I feel a sense of admiration towards me.

"You continue to surprise me Fennic, Solas smiles making me riase a brow as he elaves as I suddenly feel a wave of ehat enter ym cheeks form his smug smile, that smirk…urgh, what am I thinking!? I scowl at the spark and flutter in my sotmahc makes me want to vomit, hwoever I hold it in as I simply shake my hea,d banishing the thoguths aside as we cotonue forward.

My nose twitches at the faint salty smell of water as I follow the smell and my ears perk up at the sound of metal colliding with metal, and dummies being beaten as well as the laboured pants. Intrigued, I decide to investigate.

"Remember how to carry your shield. You're not hiding you're holding otherwise its useless," the male informs the three boys, pacing back an forth between them. Blackwall isn't the tallest but more like a bear I suppose with his dark brown bead and hair matching his dark brown eyes, his skin is a peach pink sot likely form the sun when he was training. He seems to be training these villagers from the uncertain looks in their eyes.

Evelyn pov:

Nervously, I stand before the male, he wields a sword and shield teaching these young boys from the looks of their wooden shield and swords, one of them has an axe as we but they lack armour, yep defiantly recruits.

"Warden Blackwall?" I call out coughing slightly from the crack of my tone, as I stare at the male feeling slightly intimidated by the huge bush across his features, I have seen many beards both fancy and unique but this one certainly is…big, I'll say that much. Frowning, the male rushes over to me as I take a step back from his closeness as his narrowed eyes gaze into mine, I feel a tad bit fearful of his wary gaze, it's not a bad as Fennic as the start but still…

"Crybaby!"

No…no…I need to stand up, I need to grow up and buck up. The people rely on me crying and getting emotional will get me nowhere…

Blackwall unlike his students is wearing armour, his chest plate holds a familiar Grey warden shield across it, yep found him.

"Listen-"

Suddenly, my ears perk up at the sudden swoosh and heavy thunk as Blackwell lifts his wooden shield, saving me from the arrow. Shocked, I take a step back from the arrow. We both turn to the bandits one of which wields a wooden bow the string held aback as he allows another arrow in while the others stupidly charge in, heads down, yep no training.

"We're dealing with these idiots first," Blackwall growls charging at them with his recruits, I raise a brow impressed when he selflessly uses his shield to block the blows sent to his recruits. He uses his shield to bash and make the bandits, drop down only to finish him off with a simple blow to the chest, with his sword.

"That's it help or get out!" Warden Blackwall states as I meekly nod and Fen and the others nod, getting the message.

"Protect the recruits!" I call out noticing their struggle against the bandits with more experience.

"On it!" Fen dives forward as one of the bandits raises his bloodied axe to strike down as a suddenly fearful recruit. Terrified, the recruit drops his shield. "No!" Angrily, I feel a burst of power flow through me. No, not again, I will not be weak, I will not be a cry-baby, I will not let my emotions cloud my judgement and get in the way! Quickly, I focus on the negative flow of fear to attack the raider, ending his life only for another to pop out.

"Oh come on!" Fen hears my outcry as before the male delivers the killing blow, a familiar dagger is tossed into the male's stomach causing the recruit to cry out in relief as splatters of blood chocking the recruit fall down onto the greenery, staining the grass as the scout collapses to the ground dead. Relieved, I smile at the neutral Fen easily drawing her blade out, ignoring the horrified expression of the shaking recruit as she simply helps the boy up and take him to safety.

"Argh!" I notice Cassandra struggle with the two other bandits and scowls as I begin to focus on my magic and suddenly, I feel a familiar cool breeze tingling on my fingertips as I focus and strike. I hear the faint crunch of ice as the bandits are frozen. Together, Cassandra and Varric nod, Cassandra releasing the hard blow, shattering the bandit into pieces as I flinch from the hard crack of glass breaking. I hear Solas staff hit the ground as a sudden red energy envelopes his hands as the ice is melted away, releasing the bandit only for him to be shot in my heart by a familiar weapon, known as Bianca.

"It's over," I sigh relieved at the thought. "Are the recruits okay?" I question Solas who simply nods after doing checks on them, I notice Cassandra grumbling a thanks to the smirking Varric. I raise a brow when Blackwall impales his sword into the ground.

"Dramatic much," Fen mutters making me smirk at the elf by my side.

"Soddy bastards," Blackwall grumbles.

"Seems to me they were desperate, the battle stance used were pitiful, no tactic or plan what so ever," I mutter as Fen nods her head in agreement. I frown recalling their weak, frail, pathetic battle cry to try to scare us but only made us raise a brow at them.

"Good work conscripts, even if it wasn't meant to have happened it still could've well…thieves are made not born. Take back what they stole. Go back to your families, you've saved yourselves," Blackwall instructs as the recruits nod, giving us a nod of respect, making me smile slightly happily at the respect and relieved to see them alright. They all return home.

"You're not from here how do you know my name?" Blackwall questions me.

"I've been called a lot of things by a lot of people," I sigh as I recall the bowing people calling me Herald while others called me Phonies and a select few call me by my actual name.

"Well I'm talking to you stop dancing," Blackwall states making me frown.

"Straight to the point I see," Fennic exclaims.

"We're inquisition trying to find out why the wardens disappeared and if it had anything to do with the Divines murder," Cassandra gets to the point.

"Makers balls the wardens and the divine that can't be; no you're asking so you don't really know. First off, I didn't know they disappeared but we do that right? Blight gone job done. The wardens are the first thing forgotten. But I'll tell you this, no warden killed the divine, our purpose isn't political," Blackwall explains.

"I know, the grey wardens don't want anything to with politics we know that but still this disappearance it's too suspicious. We wish to investigate and wish for information, we are not suspecting anyone yet just concerned. Please, we have only found you where are the others?" I explain then question him.

"I haven't seen any wardens for months. I travel alone, recruiting not much interest because of the arch demon being dead, no need to conscript with no blight coming. Treaties give wardens the right to take what we need, who we need. These idiots forced this fight so I conscripted, their victims; they had to do what I said. So I told them to stand, next time they won't need me. Grey wardens can inspire make you better than you think you are," Blackwell explains as I nod understanding his idea. It helps make people feel they are a part of something important, something to boast and be proud of.

Quietly, a few questions pop into my mind, a few I already have answers for from studying back at the tower, they were given the right of conscript years ago, to recruit people to help stop the blight or objects to help stop the Blight.

"Do you have any ideas where the wardens might have gone?" I question him curious on any certain location the scouts can look out for. "Maybe they returned to our stronghold in Weisshaupt, that's in the Anderfels up north. Don't really know why they'd disappear at once and I don't know where they disappeared to," Blackwell answers as I frown, nodding in understanding. So the Andefells is a candidate to search for them, I need to remember that for Leliana, to get her scout on the case…

"Why haven't you gone with them?" I ask curious.

"Well maybe I was going to or maybe there is a new directive or I might have gotten lost or something. My job was to recruit I have been alone for months, yes," Blackwell answers making me frown. He tells me not to dance along yet he gives such a vague answer back, hypocrite.

"It's been a pleasure warden Blackwall," I grumble frowning at the lack of answers and his rude demeanour. Curious, Fen raises a brow at my attitude and follows behind me.

"You okay?" She asks as I sigh.

"I'll tell you later," I sigh as Fen simply nods in understanding.

"Inquisition, agent did you say? Hold a moment. The divine is dead and the sky is torn events like this thinking we're absent is as bad as thinking we're involved. If you put things right maybe you need a warden?" He recommends as I raise a brow intrigued while I notice Fen copy the motion.

"Maybe you need me?" He offers as I furrow my brow in deep thought.

"We could use a grey warden could use his ties to find the other wardens or his connections for more influence. Uncertain, I glance at Fen who simply nods.

"He could help with the recruits," Fen whispers as I nod recalling Cullen's stressful expression and Cassandra's temper when the recruits would fail at a certain task. But still…

"What could you do alone?" I cross my arms frowning.

"Save the fucking world if I try my best," Blackwall answers making me blink at the bluntness while I hear a snort behind and turn to a smirking Fennic. I notice Blackwall smile at Fennic's response. "Blunt and to the point," Fen smirks.

"Warden Blackwall the inquisition accepts your offer," I smile when Blackwall mentions using the treaties perhaps they can be of use for more troops for the forces.

"Good to know, we need to do something and perhaps I've been alone for too long," Blackwell nods his head in agreement and so we acquired a new ally to the field…