Beauty From Pain
by, Smeagol's girl
(A/N: Evey's thoughts and feelings while she's in 'prison'. The song, 'Beauty From Pain' is from the band Superchick. Spoilers from the movie V for Vendetta. Rated T. I own nothing.)
"The lights go out all around me/ One last candle to keep out the night..."
She was shaking like mad, tears clinging to her eyes as if they were too afraid to surface and face the man who was staring her down from the shadows. She knew she was in trouble now, and God only knew if she'd live to tell the tale... to retell the story of V.
"Then the darkness surrounds me/ I know I'm alive but I feel like I've died..."
She was taken to a room where they took her clothes and exchanged them for a ratty orange jail suit, and then they sat her down and shaved her hear. It was not clear to her what was more cruel, watching her brown curls fall to the floor or the fact that she was forced to sit in front of a mirror and watch in misery as they de-humanized her. Tears fell meaninglessly down her face, her body still shivering, until it was over.
Then they threw her in the musty dark cell and locked the door, separating her from the outside world. Knowing she was alone now, she curled into a ball on the floor and wept.
"And all that's left it to accept that it's over/ My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made..."
Occasionally there was food, if you'd like to call it that, thrown into the cell, but not even the disgusting rat that crawled past her head wouldn't touch it. In fact, the rat itself looked more appealing. At first she wouldn't eat, but then her hunger pains got the better of her and she'd force some to that sludge down her throat.
They'd be torturing her soon, she was sure. By day three she had come to learn the sick schedule these guards ran on. Once the food was in her cell she had an hour before they'd come back, not only to retrieve the bowl, but her too, and then they'd torture her for hours, the entire time pressing her for information on V. But she would not talk. It did not take long before she was sure she was going to die.
"I try to keep warm but it only grows colder/ I feel like I'm slipping away..."
If was day four and she had yet to move from her fetal position on the floor. She was cold, hungry, and her body was shaking from returning for yet another torture session. The more she told them she didn't know where V was, the stronger her words seemed to sound even to her own ears. Maybe she'd stand up to them and try to escape, but she hadn't reached that point yet. Besides, she had nowhere to go if she did escape.
She had spent the the last day and a half preparing to die. Suicide seemed like a very friendly option by this point, but she wouldn't take that road either, not yet. The thought of death still wracked some fear in her, and a tear trailed down her face. Then she heard it... a scratching sound coming from the rat hole.
Her head feeling like a heavyweight on her neck, she looked up and reached a lazy hand into the hole, feeling around clumsily with her fingers until they brushed something. At this she forced herself on all fours as she worked to dig whatever it was out of the wall. Perhaps it was food or a weapon of some sort... no... a rolled up piece of toilet paper with a message written in it. How long had it been lying there?
Crawling to the light she held it there and began to read the story of another young woman who had been in this prison as well. Her spirit began to grow stronger as she read it.
"After all this has passed, I still will remain/ After I've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain..."
She had been tortured, just like herself, and she had more than likely been executed too for her beliefs. Evey read the story over several nights, her spirit growing stronger by the minute. But the final line in the message brought tears to her eyes and she wept for some time as she read it: 'I love, with all my heart. I love you...'
The door opened and the guard pulled her out and into another room where she was to be interrogated again for the final time. She managed to hold her head high and not shake this time. There was no longer fear in her blood, and she was ready to show them that. They could kill her, but they would never win. She had all ready won.
"Though it won't be today, someday I'll hope again/ And there'll be beauty from pain..."
They told her they were going to kill her, but she didn't care. In fact, she almost smiled at him. Her fear was gone, and she hoped others would follow in her footsteps, and in V's. She wondered if he would miss her, or ever learn of what happened to her. Would he care?
She waited in her cell, facing the door as it opened, and she didn't tremble as the guard glared at her with coldness from the shadows. He made a final offer that could save her, but she turned it down and said, "I would rather die behind the chemical stacks." He stared at her in silence for a moment then said, "You are not afraid?" She shook her head, a fire burning bright inside of her and he said softly, "Then you are completely free," and with that he walked away. She stared out of her cell, completely shocked and confused, and eventually, stood up and wandered out to see what was happening.
The door at the end of the hall, instead of leading further into the prison led her into the last place she thought she'd be. This was V's living room! He stepped into veiw and simply looked at her through his glassy mask, not saying a word.
"You will bring beauty from my pain"
----
"Here I am at the end of me/ Trying to hold to what I can't see/ I'm trying to hold/ This night's been so cold/ I cling to your promise/ There will be a dawn/ After all this has passed/ I still will remain/ After I've cried my last/ There'll be beauty from pain/ Though it won't be today/ Someday I'll hope again/ And there'll be beauty from pain/ You will bring beauty from my pain..."
The End!