I leave my log cabin only to be welcomed by the countless bows and praises of my title as Herald of Andraste. Frowning, I force my head to ignore the title and blessings sent my way as I decide to take a walk, to think and to try to relax. Fen is still silent, it's worrying me, she will attend some missions with us but remain silent even when we try to include her in the conversation and when we return, she immediately returns to her room and stays there. Varric goes to give her, her meal and talk to her a bit but she's just silent. Varric seems used to it, adjusted, adapted to it but I…I think it's sad, a horrendous even I mean, how can we work together if we don't talk? She's being selfish bottling up her emotions but Varric has told me to keep a distance so maybe I should, I still don't know yet. I should go to someone else, someone wiser, I mean sure Varric knows Fen but who else does…Solas! Yeah I'll go chat with Solas, he's close with Fen; he'll know what to do.
"Solas!" I call out to the quiet male in deep thought long up at the breach.
"Yes," He turns to me as I stop in my tracks smiling at him.
"Any news on Fen's condition?" I ask hopeful since he is the one who saw Fen in her state.
"I believe it to be some sort of past memory trauma, perhaps the Venitori triggered a past memory she does not wish to share," Solas explains calmly.
"Varric says it will take a while how long do you believe it will?" I ask only to hear Sols sigh heavily.
"I do not know, people are different, Fennic is different and it depends on the person. For now we must trust Varric's words and keep an eye on her meanwhile you should focus on your role not get side-tracked," Solas explains calmly. Side-tracked she's your friend isn't she? I frown at Solas cold words, but bite my lip, not wishing for an argument so I decide to change topic.
"Closing the breach is our primary goal. Remember that Evelyn. But I hope we might discover what was used to create it. Any artefact of such power is dangerous. The destruction of the Conclave proves that much," Solas reminds me making me nod, trying to block out my emotions and concern for my friend and nod in agreement to Solas' cold but understanding words.
"You think it survived?" I ask curious bringing a small smile to Solas' lips.
"You survived did you not? The artefact that created the Breach is unlike anything seen in this Age. I will not believe it destroyed until I see the shattered fragments with my own eyes," Solas explains. "I agree, perhaps this artefact could be the key to stopping the breach as well or helping us discover untold and forgotten magic lost centuries ago," I smile hopeful at the idea making Solas nod, liking the idea.
"Leliana's people have scoured the area near the blast and found nothing. Whatever the artefact was. It is no longer there. In any case. Did you need me for anything?" Solas enquires.
"Solas is the magic I learned from the circle different from the magic taught by the Dalish?" I ask intrigued but fearful of upsetting him, due to his dislike towards the Dalish clans.
"No and yes. Magic is magic, just as water is water. But it can be used in different ways. Dalish magic is more practical, not needing Chantry approval. Although they still frown upon blood magic, superstition. Much of it is more subtle. A legacy from when elves were immortal," Solas explains to me.
"Wait elves were immortal? Did they use magic to make them live longer?" I gasp at the news, shocked, then again we didn't learn much of the Dalish and elves back at the circle. Immortality, could magic be the key to living forever, what else can magic do? Yet again, magic impresses me…
"No. It was simply part of being Elven. The subtle beauty of their magic was the effect, not the cause, of their nature. Some spells took years to cast. Echoes would linger for centuries harmonizing with the new magic in a unending symphony. It must have been beautiful," Solas sighs.
"Yeah, it's a shame they lost so much. I guess we all lose things from time to time," I whisper and frown. I need to change this depressing atmosphere but what with…maybe…maybe I can talk to Solas about this? He seems open minded and I'm interested in the topic, not that I'd ever do it…
"What do you think about blood magic?" I whisper, feeling a wave of fear as I can remember Enchanter Lydia's horrified expression from my question, often she would give me a sharp clip to the head for bringing up such a taboo topic.
"There is no need to whisper, we are fortunate that Cassandra is not within earshot most modern cultures forbid blood magic. Publically, even Tevinter disapprove of it but as I said magic is magic. It matters only in how it is used," Solas explains as I frown.
"Blood magic to me, I don't mind it as long as people don't get possessed or worse and to be honest I could never do it," I laugh nervously.
"Why not?" Solas raises a brow.
"Well why don't you?" I question back bringing a small smirk to his features.
"Unfortunately, using blood magic seems to make it more difficult to enter the fade. You understand why I have never bothered to learn it. A shame s it is extremely powerful, provided it remains a tool not a crutch…nor a passion," Solas answers as I nod in understanding.
"I know what you mean; I enjoy the fade, learning about all sorts from the fade but most of all to be blunt. I just couldn't, do the idea of cutting my palm, slicing my skin, hurting myself. I just couldn't I'd be too scared to do it," I laugh nervously.
"A understandably reason, but do not let that fear hold you back," Solas simply nods as I smile sadly.
"You seem to have cheered up now good, we need you at your best," Solas notices.
"Thanks again Solas, for the talk, I know you're worried about Fen too although you argue, I can see you two are close," I smile happy as Solas remains silent almost in deep thought and I turn to leave.
I know he cares deep down…
He just won't admit it for some strange reason…