A/N: Well, thanks to everyone who reviewed chapter two, you guys rock. I hope you've noticed that the rating for this story went up to Teen. I just woke up one morning and was in a pervy-limericky mood. So, to be sure no one gets offended, I've upped the rating. It's nothing too overt, though. I hope ya'll like this new addition to Kiba's little saga. Review, it gives me a happy.

Disclaimer: The usual. I don't own Naruto, no money is being made from this story and absolutely no copyright infringement is intended.

Summary: Naruto and Lee, fancying themselves evil geniuses, put their lame plan to action; Shikamaru gets the motivation to not-audition; Sasuke is causing his own stir.

References:

1. Tish and pish, a very British expression I heard on the Black Adder. Best I stop watching the BBC, it's getting to my impressionable head.

I think that's all. If you spot something else, let me know.

--Chapter 3--

A Very Evil Plot

"Hold on there, Naruto," Lee cautioned, a bit overwhelmed by his recent conversion to the dark side. "Isn't that a little much?"

"There are no half-measures when it comes to bringing Kiba and Sasuke down," Naruto stated plainly before returning to a half-silent diatribe about sausage. Leaning suspiciously on the banister, the fox-boy waited patiently for Kiba or Shino to return to the arena like a sleazy car salesman waits for a gullible simpleton.

Unluckily for him, the unsuspecting Shino was the one to walk down the stairs. Unbeknownst to the mysterious bug Nin, he steadly marched straight into Naruto's—poorly—laid trap. Short on words upon noticing his fellow rookie, he simply acknowledged Naruto with a slight nod and absent-mindedly continued towards the arena.

"Shino! Wait!" Naruto pleasantly called out, abandoning his cunning spot on the handrail. "I've been wanting to see you."

"And now that you're done, I'll be on my way." He stated very matter-of-factly before seeing himself out of Naruto's company.

However, before the cryptic Shinobi could make his way down the corridor, Naruto was already in the process of putting his machiavellian plan to action. A calculating expression distorting his boorish features, he patiently waited until Shino was right where he wanted him. "LEE!" He suddenly yelled. "NOW!"

Uttering a piercing shriek, Konoha's Azure Beast violently tackled Shino, forcing him into an adjacent room.

Conspicuously looking left and right to make sure no one witnessed the assault or heard the weird Lee-noise that accompanied the attack, Naruto whistled his way towards Shino, proud that he finally accomplished something. Closing the door behind him, he helped Lee secure Shino to a chair, steadfastly strapping him down. "Well, well, Shino," he started, twirling his whiskers in the manner of an evil genius. "We meet again."

"What are you talking about, cretin?" Shino demanded blatantly, incredulous as to what was happening. "You just tackled me a second ago."

"Tsk, tsk tsk," the Kyuubi host pursued, shaking his finger in reprimand, taking himself way too seriously. "I will put a stop to the Unholy Trinity that is you, Kiba and Sasuke."

Turning away from the ridiculous-looking Naruto, Shino glanced over at Lee. "I see dumb and dumberer have teamed up for the good of the nation." He could not even begin to fathom what they had in mind—assuming they had a mind. "Is this about the sausage song? Because if I must, I'll confess. It was, indeed, a euphemism for…something else."

"Shut up," Naruto snapped, bringing this pointless conversation to a screeching halt. "Lee, strip him. We need his coat and glasses." Using his cloning jutsu, Naruto immediately took on Shino's appearance and clad himself with the bug ninja's accessories.

"Good job, Naruto-kun," Lee congratulated his partner in crime, strangely eager to cause a ruckus. "Shino-kun, anything you'd like to say before we leave?"

Pondering very carefully, Shino nodded in agreement. "…A few things come to mind…"

His temper already ablaze, Naruto deeply frowned—an expression obviously foreign to the form he was taking. "Whatever you say, I'm Uzumaki Naruto and I'm going home the winner," he adamantly affirmed, cockily adjusting the sunglasses he had just stolen.

"And what home is that? A home for the mentally disadvantaged?"

"You'll soon eat those poorly chosen words, Shino."

--------------------

Down at the arena, Kiba, head firmly in hands, readied to carry on with the auditions without Shino. That bastard, this is last time I force him into something. Mark my words, he thought to himself, unnerved by Shino's mysterious disappearance. After the fiasco with Naruto's sausage song, Kiba scarcely expected anything interesting from Nara Shikamaru's audition and could dispense with Shino's presence. "Alright," he suddenly brought everyone to attention. "Shikamaru, you're up."

Hardly compelled to move, the slack artist sluggishly looked up as his name was called. "And why is it that I'm doing this?" Shikamaru demanded aloud; a question he intended primarily for himself.

"Your so lazy!" Ino exclaimed, trying to ignite some semblance of enthusiasm in her disabused teammate. "What if Kiba-kun acknowledges some talent in you? You'd get a role in a movie!"

Shikamaru glanced at Ino, a spark of bitterness to his stare. He was not very keen on getting the role—something he repeatedly pointed out to his hyperactive teammate on the way to the arena. "Acting is troublesome. And I wouldn't be surprised if Kiba just plans on keeping the better role for himself," he accurately guessed. "I wouldn't bother trying out if I were you."

"Tish and pish to that, Shikamaru," Chouji insisted as vehemently as Ino, ignoring his friend's previous admonition. "Fame attracts girls like a…a…giant attraction thing…"

"You mean a magnet?"

"Yeah!" Chouji acquiesced heatedly, reliving his own dream of celebrity in his head. "Can you imagine it?"

"Not really," he replied nonchalantly. Nevertheless, shutting his teammates up was motive enough for Shikamaru to audition. Shuffling past Sasuke and Sakura—the latter, pitifully trying to psyche him out with a funny face—he went to meet up with Kiba.

"Alright, well, your audition is pretty simple, Shikamaru…" Kiba started, but was soon cut off by Shino's voice calling from across the arena.

"HOLD IT!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. "Not so fast. There's a slight change of plans…"

Is it just me or has something strange gotten into that ding-dong today, Kiba questioned internally, a bit puzzled to be so easily bested by the chatteringly-challenged Shino. Giving a quick side-glance to Hinata, he noticed she also seemed fascinated by this sudden personality shift. This is obviously a conspiracy against me… Discouraged, he shook his head in contempt, impatiently strumming his fingers on the table as his teammate stole the show.

Swaggering his way towards the dais, Naruto, in the guise of Shino, was quite the one-man circus. After giving Ino a suggestive look, he pinched Chouji's cheeks patronizingly. "Hello there, little heifer," he addressed the pudgy ninja. "Can't wait to audition you later…"

"The hell, Shino," Chouji coughed in disbelief.

Moving on to other things, the disguised Naruto leaped right next to Kiba and began announcing the new procedures of the casting call. "So, Shikamaru, ready for the audition of your life?"

"Not really. In fact, I think I'm gonna leave…"

"Not until you recite the little limerick I've prepared for you," the Shino clone warned with scorching intensity. "It goes a little something like this:

This'll make the ladies cheer
Ya'll come get it here
If I look gay
It's to keep you at bay
I hope I made that clear."

Before Naruto could get the satisfaction of embarrassing his ninja confederate, he was met with Shikamaru's back—the latter lackadaisically walking away, mumbling something about stupidity, Ino and troublesomeness. That was a low Shikamaru could never allow himself to reach.

However, everyone else in the room seemed unpleasantly taken aback; they had all fallen in a silent stupor. If there was one person in Konoha who was not the type to make up dirty limericks, it was Shino.

Kiba's jaw instantly dropped. "What the…" He uttered after a long silence. That dolt just wants to run the show to piss me off! Nobody bosses Inuzuka Kiba around!

"K-Kiba-kun," Hinata meekly stammered, interrupting her teammate's silent plotting. "What's gotten into Shino?"

"I don't know, but it reminds me of the stupid that gets into Naruto on a daily basis," Kiba remarked. "Damn it, everyone is out to get me…"

"Don't worry, Kiba-kun," the girl said in attempts to soothe her partner. "I'm sure your movie will be great anyway."

"It would be great if Shino remembered the plan. I'm the one who gets to humiliate everyone…" Kiba accidentally blurted out, confronting himself with Hinata's shocked expression. "Wait! Hinata! That's not what I meant…damn it!"

--------------------

"Wow…that was just…perverted." Sakura gasped in shock as her inner-self pouted, disappointed that Shikamaru had so blatantly refused to even utter the words.

"Yeah," Sasuke agreed, finding the situation all too suspicious. "And there's only one person I know who's that dense…" The perceptive Uchiha suggested, cracking this case like an egg.

"Not…not who I think it is?"

"Yes. Exactly. And thanks to that dope, embarrassment descends upon us yet again."

The pink-headed girl quickly regained her composure, still chuckling internally at the dirty limerick. "I don't think there's anything we can do about it, Sasuke-kun…"

Irked by the disastrous turn this day was taking for him, Sasuke sharply glared at the girl. "Uchiha Sasuke doesn't just stand about. He takes action; decisive action. Let's find the real Shino and put a stop to Naruto's little sideshow…"

"Not so fast," Lee firmly said, obviously having eavesdropped on Sakura and Sasuke's conversation. "I can't let you do that, Sasuke-kun. You'll have to go through me first."