Here it is sorry for the delay school is a bitch and this chapter is 12,500 words. With that said, enjoy.
Subaru opened his eyes. He was sitting in his desk chair back in the mansion. Ram why did you tell me that. Why? Please, Ram. Please tell me why- Subaru's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Emilia knocking at the door.
Subaru remained in his seat and whispered to himself. "Why did you tell me that Ram?" Emilia's knocking grew more frantic.
"Subaru it's me, Emilia. Are you ok?" Emilia called out from the other side of the door.
Subaru turned his head to the door. His vision grew cloudy. Ram's screams echoed through his brain. I'm so sorry Ram. Please forgive me. Please. I'm… sorry.
Subaru felt memories fill his mind. They were the memories of his recent trial. All of his friends standing before him. All of them shouted the word why. Was it necessary? I- It was necessary right, Echidna? Please give me an answer. I need an answer. Echidna, please.
Emilia's knocking grew louder. Subaru forced himself onto his feet. His vision was growing blurrier.
Ram's screams continued to echo through his mind. I'm so sorry Ram. Subaru remembered the tears of his friends. It was necessary. It has to be. HAS. TO. BE. Right, Echidna? Echidna? Please, just give me an answer.
Subaru forced one foot in front of the other trying to get to the door. The sound of water dripping on the wood floor filled his ears. Water was dripping down his face from his eyes to the floor. Am I sweating? Subaru shook his head. It doesn't matter. Ram, I'm sorry, but I needed answers.
But I didn't get any answers, just more questions. You died for nothing. I let you die for nothing. The sound of water hitting the floor grew more frequent.
Subaru saw the image of all his friends crying when he blinked. I'm sorry, but it was necessary, right? It was necessary. It was necessary, even if… Even. If. You all looked so sad. Subaru clenched his jaw. It was still necessary right?
By the time Subaru had reached the door, he was biting down so hard he could feel his teeth begin to shift in his mouth. He reached for the door. Subaru heard the sound of water dripping onto his tracksuit. Why am I sweating so much? Memories flashed in Subaru's mind. IT WAS NECESSARY! Subaru screamed to himself. The taste of blood filled Subaru's mouth. He was biting down so hard that his gums were bleeding.
Subaru finally gathered the strength to open the door. He pushed the door open, and waiting on the other side was Emilia. Her violet darted around examining the boy. Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes as she looked at him. As she saw the blood coming out of the corners of Subaru's mouth. Saw the empty look in his eyes and the water that filled them. Emilia forced back her tears and replaced them with a look of warm determination.
The sound of water hitting the ground increased in frequency. I made Emilia cry. Subaru began to force a smile onto his face. "Don't force yourself to smile Barusu." Ram's last piece of advice rang out in his mind.
Subaru balled his hand into a fist. Blood began to pour from where his nails were cutting into his palm. The least I can do is listen to Ram's last piece of advice, right? Subaru stopped himself from forcing the smile onto his face.
Emilia wrapped Subaru in a hug. "Subaru are you ok?" Emilia asked him. She's clinging to me again. I made her suffer. Subaru didn't realize that he was leaning on Emilia and not the other way around. However, Subaru did notice the words forming in his throat. No, I can't. Only I should suffer. I can't.
Subaru saw drops of water onto Emilia's hair. Why am I sweating- It was only now that Subaru realized Emilia wasn't crying. I'm… Subaru's eyes widened.
I'm crying.
Subaru felt words rising in his throat. No, I can't say those words, not to Emilia-tan. Subaru clenched his jaw. He knew that if he opened his mouth those words he didn't want to speak would come forth.
Emilia asked him again, "Subaru are you ok? If you aren't you can talk to me. It's the least I can do after you saved my life, right?"
Subaru opened his mouth to speak. He felt the words form on his tongue. No, not those words. Only I should suffer. I can't say those words. I can't say them.
Subaru tried to reassure Emilia. "Emilia-tan, I'm-" Subaru was cut off by himself as those words came tumbling out.
"I'm not ok. I'm empty just so empty."
No, no, no, no. Stop. Stop. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. Tears fell even faster from Subaru's face just like the words that now tumbled from his mouth,
"Just so, empty. I can't feel pain. I don't even have a sense of taste anymore. I can't face my past. I keep telling myself it was all necessary, but I don't know if it was. I don't know. I don't know."
Subaru fell to his knees. Emilia held his neck in her arms. I shouldn't say any of this. But I can't stop. I can't stop these words anymore.
"I just want to know why. Can someone please tell me why? Anyone. I just want to know why. I hate someone that I used to love, and it's for just a stupid reason. She didn't even do anything to me that's worth mentioning. And right now all I want is for someone to forgive me for something that they don't even remember. I hate it. I hate that damned rabbit. It killed her. It killed her. I could've stopped it why? Why didn't I stop it? Why? I could hear it and I didn't stop it. WHY? She didn't deserve to die like that. She didn't deserve to suffer like that. I just want to know why. And there is someone that I want to help so much. But, she might already be too far gone. I-I have no idea how to do it. I don't know how to help her!" Subaru ranted as tears tumbled from his eyes.
Emilia lightly stroked the boy's hair.
Subaru turned his gaze up to Emilia. "Emilia-tan all-" Subaru's breath caught. No, don't say it don't.
Subaru's mouth began to open to speak. No, no, no, no, no. Don't say it. Please don't say it.
"All of my smiles are fake."
"It's ok Subaru," Emilia whispered to the boy. She's suffering. She's suffering. Only I should suffer.
The tears flowing from Subaru's eyes began to slow.
"I-" Subaru began to speak.
"Never mind, I'm sorry you had to hear all of that Emilia-tan." I'm sorry that I'm causing you to suffer.
"Y'know Subaru it's more satisfying to hear a single thank you rather than a million sorrys." Subaru's tears came to a halt. I will end this timeline. Emilia is suffering. But. It's the least I can do to fulfill her request before I end this timeline, right?
Subaru looked up at the girl with his cold empty expression, but Emilia could see gratitude there hidden beneath the surface.
"T-thank you f-for listening E-Emilia-tan."
Emilia smiled down at Subaru. Her smile was… It was… Genuine.
Subaru's breath was knocked from his lungs. She isn't suffering. How?
She's smiling.
How is she smiling?
Outside of Subaru's mind, Emilia was stroking the boy's hair while she cradled his neck with her arms. Subaru's mouth was moving but no words formed. The two remained like that for a few minutes.
Eventually, they were interrupted by Ram, "Emilia-sama, Roswal-sama has sent me to inform you that dinner is ready. If you would not like to partake in the meal that is fine, though Roswal-sama has made it clear that our new guest's attendance is mandatory."
Emilia nodded when Ram finished speaking, "We'll be there in a few minutes Ram."
Ram nodded and began to return to the dining room.
When Ram was gone Emilia broke the silence, "Are you feeling better Subaru?" Emilia asked.
Subaru stood up getting off of his knees. His cold dead eyes stared into Emilia's. He breathed in to speak,
"I'm not sure I know what that means anymore Emilia-tan," Subaru admitted.
"I think you're doing better. After all, you're not crying anymore." Emilia offered her opinion.
"Well," Subaru shrugged, "Anyway I'll join you guys for dinner in a few minutes. See you then Emilia-tan." Subaru looked at her with his cold expression. It was devoid of a false smile.
Subaru's lack of a smile didn't dampen Emilia's smile. "See you then Subaru."
A few minutes later Subaru stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Subaru didn't practice a smile, he just thought about recent events. How? How did she smile after she heard all of that? Maybe if-
Subaru pushed himself back into reality. He examined his face. Subaru's jaw dropped slightly when he looked into his own eyes. They looked cold, and there were bags under his eyes, but there was a tiny hint of calm.
Subaru stepped back from the mirror. Thank you Emilia-tan. Maybe now I-
Never mind. Subaru pushed the thought away. I should get to dinner. Roswal isn't going to be happy if I miss it. And I need to keep this timeline going. Subaru resolved as he remembered Emilia's smile. I will take on their suffering.
Subaru remembered the words that had gotten Subaru to this point. Thank you, Ram.
Subaru stepped into the hallway and began to walk towards the dining room.
Before he got very far he stopped at a door. Subaru's left hand reached for the handle. He grabbed it and opened the door to reveal a bathroom. Beako? Why? Subaru closed the door and left it behind. Beako?
Subaru arrived late to the dining room. He figured out he was late when he looked at Emilia and Roswal's plates and found that both had been almost entirely cleared of food.
"Youuuu appear tooooo be a bit late." The clown frowned slightly. "Natsuki Subaru."
The clown stared at the boy a look of displeasure clear on his face. Subaru met Roswal's eyes.
He looks bored. Roswal began to smile. So he knows what will happen next. "I wouuuuuuld like toooooooo thank youuuu for recovering Emilia-samaaaa's insigniaaa. Soooooo I will give you aaaaany reward you desire."
Subaru stared back at the clown his eyes cold and calm. "Hire me to work here."
Roswal's smile widened. Maybe I can still be the final Roswal. He only messed up the timing once. I doubt he treats getting to dinner perfectly on time like a life or death situation. Or maybe he does? Roswal speculated. My, what a strange power you have.
"Very well I shaaaaall grant thiiis wish." Roswal proclaimed, "Ram wheeeeeeen our new employeeee is finished eating you will take him tooooo fiiiind a uniform."
Ram nodded to the sorcerer. "Yes, Roswal-sama."
Roswal stood up to leave the room "Emilia-samaaaaa there are soooome thiiings I would liiiike to explaiiin to youuuu. Please accompany meeeee to my ofiiice."
"Well, I haaave to go bye Subaru," Emilia said waving.
"Bye Subaru." Puck waved as well.
Subaru waved to the two of them.
With Emilia, Puck, and Roswal gone it was just Subaru and Ram. Subaru sat down in his chair. While Ram watched him. No point talking to Ram right now she doesn't remember what happened, and I need to focus on how to help Beako. Subaru began to eat as he continued planning. Beako's suicide is likely dependent on me speaking to her. And any answer I could give right now will result in her suicide so I should wait.
Subaru was too embroiled in his thoughts to notice Ram's pink eyes examining him. What kind of man are you? You saved my sister minutes after she tried to kill you. What kind of person could save Rem even after that?
When Subaru had finished his meal Ram led him into the mansion dressing room. "Do you see anything that will fit you Guest-sama- I mean…"
"My name is Subaru." Subaru offered his name in a cold tone.
"Well do you see anything that fits you Barusu?" Subaru's face remained neutral at Ram's comment. No response to turning his name into a blinding curse. Ram thought to herself.
"No you'll have to measure me and then adjust a uniform," Subaru stated.
Once Ram finished measuring Subaru the two wished each other a good night and went their separate ways.
Subaru returned to his room to plan out the rest of the loop.
Ram returned to her room to adjust a uniform for the new employee. While Ram was busy doing this she was analyzing what she'd observed so far. He didn't smile once during the whole time I was with him. Does he dislike me? But even when he arrived in the dining room and was speaking with Roswal-sama and Emilia-sama he didn't smile. His expression remained cold.
Why did he save Rem? Ram continued to wonder.
When she had finished adjusting Subaru's uniform she left her room and headed towards Roswal's office.
At the same time as this Subaru was laying down on his bed trying to figure out how to save Beatrice. I can't save her now. So I'll wait until I can answer her question. But what is the answer? How? Echidna, how? Echidna, please. Please just give me an answer. Please. Echidna?
Subaru remembered the last loop where Echidna had spoken to him. She spoke to me after I took the trial. Does she remember? Echidna, please. Echidna, why?
Subaru slapped himself. This is going nowhere. I should sleep and think about it in the morning.
Subaru pushed his mind into the depths of sleep. His eyes drifted closed.
Subaru was in the first trial. He was surrounded by all the members of the Emilia camp. They were staring at him. Their eyes were filled with tears. Except for Roswal. His face held a wide smile.
Subaru could hear the sound of the entire landscape crystallizing.
All the members of the Emilia camp vanished. Except for Ram and Beatrice.
Subaru closed his eyes. It wasn't real it was just a trial.
Subaru opened his eyes. Standing before him was a crystalized Beatrice, and Ram. Ram hadn't changed but Beatrice was now a crystal statue.
"Beako?" Subaru asked. His eyes had widened slightly.
"Are you alright Subaru-sama?" Ram asked him.
Subaru forced his eyes closed. It isn't real. Not real. It's not real. Only I know about that event. Subaru remembered the aftermath of Beatrice's suicide. It hasn't happened. But, why is Ram nice to me? Why?
"Barusu?" Ram asked.
Subaru looked up with surprise painted across his face. That surprise turned into guilt when he saw Ram. She was barely recognizable. Her entire scalp was missing. Her brain had bite marks in it. Her entire face was torn off. And the rest of her was covered in holes. Places where Subaru could see Ram's organs. Subaru realized this is what Ram looked like when she was being eaten.
"Barusu?" I'm sorry. "You could have stopped it." I'm so sorry Ram.
"Why didn't you stop it?" Ram asked, "I was being eaten. I was in pain. I was in hell. You could've stopped it."
"Why didn't you stop it?" Ram's voice was angry. Subaru felt those eyes on him. He could feel the pain that lay in those eyes.
"I needed answers," Subaru whispered back to her.
Ram stepped closer to Subaru putting her mouth right next to his ear.
"To what questions?" Ram whispered.
To what questions? To the question… I don't know. I don't know what my questions were. I just wanted to know.
"I just wanted to know." Subaru began to open his eyes. When he opened them they-
Lifted to reveal his bedroom. I just wanted to know I'm sorry Ram. Please forgive me. Subaru ignored his mind and focused on reality. He pushed his eyes to the clock on the wall. Subaru's eyes felt heavy as he moved them. 4:45 I should get the morning started I-I'm sorry Ram. Stop!-I need to follow the loop.
Subaru heaved himself up and began his morning routine.
"Shamac!" Subaru formed the mana in his body into magic.
"Hey, mister you're kinda cool." Subaru heard the childlike voice of the spirit above him. "Do…" Subaru's eyes widened slightly as the spirit added an extra word. He waited for the rest of the sentence but the spirit didn't say anything else. What was that? Never mind. The spirit isn't necessary for the loop.
Subaru ignored the spirit and began to walk towards Arlam.
Subaru's visit to Arlam proceeded mostly as it had in his last two loops. Meili was absent from the village. And the kids tried to get Subaru to answer their questions.
"Alright I have to go," Subaru told them.
"Wait!" All the village kids began to climb onto Subaru.
"You haven't answered any of our questions!" One of the children yelled.
"Alright, I'll offer you all a deal. I'll answer one question. Then, you let me leave."
The kids nodded accepting the deal. Then they began whispering to each other in the exact same way they always did when Subaru offered an answer.
They nodded to each other once they had their question.
"Why don't you smile?" The kids asked in unison.
"I-" Subaru's mouth stopped forming words.
"I-"
Subaru pushed his tongue through his teeth. Maybe I should force myself to smile. At least for them. They can't tell, right?
Subaru's gaze flicked to Petra. Memories flashed in Subaru's mind. It was Subaru's memories of the first trial. Petra was staring at him. She was crying. She shouted, "WHY?"
Subaru brought his tongue back to its normal spot.
"I-"
"I don't think I can smile," Subaru admitted.
Without another word, Subaru turned around and walked back towards the mansion.
The children of Arlam village all looked at one another. Their faces held confused expressions.
"We probably shouldn't ask about that anymore," Petra commented.
"Yeah…" The rest of the children agreed.
Subaru arrived back at the mansion to a waiting Ram. "We have work to do. Come on Barusu." Ram motioned for Subaru to follow her.
With that, the rest of Subaru's second day proceeded as normal until after Subaru walked towards his room to sleep.
Instead of trying to open all the doors to get to Beatrice Subaru only opened one door and it revealed his bedroom. Subaru pushed his tired body towards the bed, and got himself into the right position to sleep. Though, he waited to actually sleep instead he spent time trying to figure out a way to help Beatrice.
How do I answer her question? I can tell her I'm they but that will cause her to kill herself. The same happens if I say I'm not they, or if I give a response that Beako isn't happy with. How? How? How?
Echidna please I just need an answer.
I just need to know.
A slap resounded across the room. This isn't going anywhere. Subaru blinked through his heavy eyelids.
Subaru began to push himself to sleep.
Should I vent some of this to Emilia? She didn't suffer last time. Did she? Was her smile fake? Did she suffer? I-
Subaru had fallen into the depths of sleep before he could finish his thought.
Subaru was hugging Emilia. Words tumbled from his mouth. Emilia flinched every time she heard one of Subaru's words. Tears trickled from Emilia's eyes.
"Subaru are you ok?" Emilia asked in between sobs.
"I don't know." Subaru smiled. His eyes were calm. "But thanks for listening Emilia-tan."
Subaru left the room leaving behind a broken Emilia. She was trying to hold in the tears, but it wasn't working. She kept crying.
After what felt like hours Emilia forced a smile to appear on her face, and with tears still dripping down her face, she got up and left the room.
Subaru's eyes opened. I- Subaru looked to the clock. I- It read 4:05 Did I cause Emilia-tan to suffer?
Subaru lay there embroiled in thought. Should I end this loop? But that smile was real. Subaru thought back to his memory of Emilia smiling down at him. It was real. It was real. It had to be. Subaru pushed his hands through his hair. It had to be real. It was real, right? It was- Was it real? Was it real?
Subaru's ears began to ring slightly. He realized his hands were on the sides of his face. Subaru had slapped himself again. I need time to think of a way to take on Beako's suffering. I'll keep the loop going. And I don't know if Emilia-tan's smile was real. So until I know it wasn't I'll keep the loop going. But what if it was fake. Can I really keep a timeline where Emilia-tan could've suffered? A small voice whispered.
Subaru's right hand slammed into the side of his face slapping himself again. I'm keeping the loop going for now. He resolved to himself.
Subaru forced his body to move off of the bed and towards the door. I need to start the morning. Subaru thought to himself as he dragged his body towards the exit of the mansion.
"Shamac!" Subaru formed the spell. I'm only doing one today so I have enough mana for tomorrow. Subaru planned out.
"Hey, mister you're kinda cool." The spirit called to him. Subaru looked around waiting for the spirit to say anything else, but no more words came from the spirit.
Why? Why- It isn't important for the plan.
Subaru pushed the spirit to the back of his mind and began to walk towards Arlam.
Subaru's visit to Arlam village went the same way it usually went. The village kids climbed on top of Subaru and demanded answers to their questions. And like normal Subaru skillfully dodged all of their questions. Until he had to go to work at the mansion and he offered to answer a question if they would let him go.
"Why did you come to our village?" The kids asked.
"The margrave hired me," Subaru responded with an expressionless face. Maybe I should smile. They're kids they won't know it's fake. "Don't smile if you don't mean it Barusu," Subaru remembered Ram's screams. I need to follow her advice.
Subaru's face stayed expressionless as he waved goodbye to the children.
When Subaru arrived back at the mansion he was again greeted by Ram. "Let's get to work Barusu." Subaru's third day in the mansion began as usual.
Subaru was in the middle of sweeping the floor near Emilia's room before anything eventful happened. Alright, that looks good. Subaru commented to himself as he turned and began walking back to where Ram said to go when he was done. But Subaru was interrupted before he could get very far.
"Subaru." A voice called out. The temperature in the hallway dropped. He breathed out and could see his breath.
Subaru turned around to look at the source of the voice. Floating in the air was a small grey cat.
"Puck," Subaru observed.
"Subaru do you know where Beatrice is?" Subaru's consciousness began to flee as the hallway grew colder. Beako?
"Have you opened every door but left them all open. So that when you open the last door that is the only one that the door crossing can use."
The cat's eyebrows twisted down forming a scowl. "You know quite a lot Subaru." Subaru's lost the strength to keep his eyelids open as hypothermia set in.
"But I sense no malicious intent from you." Puck added, "I will speak to you again tomorrow Subaru." The room grew warmer. Puck faded away into the air before Subaru could respond.
Beako? Did you- Stop. It doesn't matter. If she did then Roswal will kill me. I should keep trying to figure out a plan to take on her suffering. I can always end the loop. Memories flashed in Subaru's mind. The memories of the second trial. I can always end the loop. The memory of Beatrice asking him if he was they. STOP!
Subaru forced his train of thought to stop. I need to keep the loop going for now. Subaru confirmed to himself and got back to work.
"Surprisingly you finished all your work for today. I had expected your competence yesterday to only be beginner's luck. Anyway, you're free to go."
"Good night Ram," Subaru responded ignoring Ram's insult.
"Good night Barusu."
Subaru nodded and turned around to walk towards his room. Alright so how do I get to Arlam tomorrow? Subaru began to plan for tomorrow. The kids are going to be cursed. Unless I stop them from getting cursed altogether. But that will bring the loop into massive divergence. Also, I don't know how Roswal will react to me forcing the future to deviate from his gospel. I need to keep on this path. Right-
Subaru's thoughts were interrupted when he saw the person that waited at his door. Emilia-tan why are you here? Subaru asked himself as he looked at the silver-haired girl. A memory flashed in Subaru's mind. It was a memory from two loops ago. When Emilia had waited for him at his room on the third night.
"Hey, Subaru." Emilia greeted him.
"Hey, Emilia-tan," Subaru responded. Do I tell her anything? Subaru remembered two days ago when words had tumbled from his mouth.
"Where does the –tan come from?" Emilia wondered. Subaru remembered the smile that Emilia gave him. Was it fake?
"Don't worry about it." Subaru dismissed. What if I caused Emilia-tan to suffer.
"Ok," Emilia responded. Her lips turned down into a slight frown.
"Are you doing alright Subaru?" Emilia asked. What if that smile was fake? What if I caused her to suffer? Subaru felt words begin to rise in his throat. What if it was fake?
"Yeah, I'm doing good." Subaru forced down the words forming in his throat. What if it was fake? But it looked real. The words Subaru had forced down began to rising in his throat again. I could've made Emilia-tan suffer.
"Good night Emilia-tan," Subaru said as he walked past the frowning girl. He didn't wait for a response before entering his room and closing the door.
Emilia looked at the door. Her frown grew deeper. "Good night Subaru." She whispered to the closed door.
On the other side of the door, Subaru was laying down in his bed trying to force himself to sleep. I don't- What do I- Echidna I need an answer. Echidna please just give me an answer. Silence. Echidna?
Subaru felt his mind begin to fall to sleep. Echidna- Subaru's mind entered sleep before he could finish his thought.
Subaru sat at a circular table. The table was shaded by a large umbrella. Subaru's eyes frantically searched the area. Am I? All he could see around him was a grassy field. Am I in a tea party?
Subaru shifted his gaze to the seat opposite him. Normally the seat would be occupied by the witch of greed, but now it lay empty. "Echidna?" Subaru asked, "Are you here?" Am I dreaming?
Subaru lowered his head and pushed his hands through his hair. "This isn't real," Subaru whispered.
A soft ping rang out across the dream world. It was a noise Subaru had heard so many times. It was the sound of a teacup being set down onto a saucer. When the sound reached Subaru's ear his head shot up. His eyes snapped to the opposite side of the table.
His eyes landed on a woman sitting there across from him. The woman was clad in a black dress. Her shoulders draped in white hair. Curiosity gleamed in her eyes.
"Echidna," Subaru whispered.
"Echidna I need to know why," Subaru demanded to the woman. Is this real. What if this is real? I need to know.
Echidna just looked at him. A smile manifested on her face. "Echidna?" "Why?" Subaru whispered.
"Why?" Subaru let out another barely audible whisper.
Echidna just stared at him. Her smile grew wider.
"Why?" Subaru whispered again.
Subaru gazed into the witch's eyes. They were shining with curiosity.
"Why?" Subaru questioned her.
Echidna didn't offer a response. Instead, her smile grew even wider.
"WHY?" Subaru demanded an answer.
Echidna's smile stopped growing because it couldn't get any wider.
"WHY?" Subaru got out of his chair and reached across the table. He stretched his arm and grabbed the collar of Echidna's dress.
"WHY?" Subaru pulled Echidna towards him, as he did this the witch began to change colors. She changed into the same color as the crystal Subaru used to wear around his neck. He tried to pull her closer, but she had grown much heavier. The witch started to fall apart. The further Subaru pulled the more the witch shattered. Just like the contract between the two.
"Echidna?" Subaru started to try and gather up the pieces of her.
"Echidna?" The pieces of crystal turned into crystalline sand.
"ECHIDNA?" The sand slipped through his fingers.
Subaru stood there for a few minutes. Whispering, "Why." Over and over again.
The citadel of dreams was plunged into shadows. Subaru's breath caught. Footsteps could be heard behind him. Not only could he hear them, but he could feel them, feel them in his very soul. Dark shadows similar to Petelguese's unseen hands rose from the ground.
Subaru tried to turn around to run away to do anything. He struggled and fought but his body resisted. He was frozen in place. Every action other than breathing and blinking was impossible. Even moving his eyes was a challenge.
A dark hand of shadows began to caress Subaru's beating heart.
The footsteps grew closer. Subaru could feel his entire being trembling with each step.
The footsteps stopped. Subaru could feel a presence behind him.
Warm breath grazed Subaru's ear. A pale hand reached up cupping Subaru's ear in its grasp. A familiar face grew close to Subaru's ear.
"I love you."
Subaru bolted upright. His breathing was heavy. Subaru desperately tried to force air into his lungs. As soon as his breathing slowed he whispered to himself. "Was that real? Was it just a dream?" Echidna? Why did you break the contract?
Subaru stayed there thinking for almost half an hour before he thought he had figured it out.
"You were curious weren't you?" Subaru balled his hands into fists.
"You just wanted to see what would happen didn't you?" Subaru's palms began to bleed.
"Echidna." Subaru's eyes were filled with cold hatred. "I hate you."
"I can do this without you. I can do this on my own."
After that, the rest of the morning transpired like normal except Subaru skipped magic practice and his visit to Arlam. For now, I need to follow the pattern from two loops ago. Otherwise, the loop will be too unpredictable. Subaru reasoned to himself.
So instead of his normal morning routine, Subaru sat down to watch the sunrise.
This change in behavior caused suspicion to rise in the pink pair of eyes watching him. What is he doing? Ram thought as she watched the boy. He only did those odd dances this morning. None of the magic of the visit to the village. He changed his routine suddenly. Though I very much doubt this indicates that he's a spy-If he was a spy he would try to act like a normal person but this is a difference so I should keep a close eye on him.
Ram watched the boy for any suspicious activity. She didn't notice any all he did was watch the sunrise. However, Ram did find it slightly suspicious that he was able to sit stiller than a statue for the entire time. He hasn't done anything conspicuous. In that case, it's time to start work.
"Barusu." Ram's voice brought Subaru back to reality, "Time to get to work."
Subaru stood up and nodded to Ram. She motioned for the boy to follow her. The two workers walked toward the front doors of the mansion. When they got to the doors they noticed a small grey cat waiting for them.
"Ram can I borrow Subaru for a little bit."
"Yes, Puck-sama." Ram bowed her head slightly.
"Wait out here Ram." Puck ordered, "Subaru come inside with me."
Subaru followed the spirit inside closing the door behind him. Once the door clicked shut the temperature in the room plummeted.
"Subaru." The spirit's eyes were filled with fury. The temperature dropped further. Subaru's cracked as it froze.
"I saw Beatrice last night." The water vapor in the air crystallized from the cold. Subaru had to blink faster to stop his eyes from freezing shut.
"She told me to get out of the library." The grey cat's face twisted into a scowl. Subaru's mind began to fade.
"She told me she wanted to speak to you." The spirit continued on even as Subaru's eyes began to freeze in place.
"Did you do anything to Beatrice?" The spirit's eyes seemed to pierce into Subaru's soul.
Subaru shook his head or tried to, but his neck was frozen in place. Subaru instinctively knew that if he pushed too hard his neck would snap.
"You aren't lying." Puck figured out that Subaru was trying to shake his head. His eyes returned to normal as he said this.
The temperature of the room began to warm. Subaru's body began to thaw along with the room. Subaru inhaled as much air he could fit into his frozen lungs. He didn't realize until now that he hadn't been able to breathe for most of that conversation.
Puck looked over to the large front doors of the mansion. He used his mana to pull them open. "You can come in now Ram." He called to the waiting maid.
Ram bowed her head to the spirit. Puck didn't say anything else as he faded into nothing. Ram began walking towards the kitchen. It only took a few seconds for her to realize Subaru wasn't following her.
She turned her head. "Baru-" Ram cut off when she saw him. Subaru had wrapped his arms around himself as if he was cold. Ram got the impression that he'd just been in a blizzard. The maid looked back to where the spirit had been. What did Puck do to him, and why?
"Barusu," Ram called as she stepped closer to the boy. "What happened?"
In response, Subaru let out a shiver. He stood like that for a few moments, then he shook his head and began to walk towards Ram. "It's nothing. I just had… an interesting conversation." He said as he passed Ram. She looked at the boy's back as he kept walking. Concern filled her gaze. She shook her head, like Subaru had moments before, and followed him.
The rest of the day continued normally until Roswal left the mansion.
"I haaaaave some iiiiimportannt business to take caaaare of." Roswal began, "Subaru-kun, watch oooover Ram for meeeee." With those words, the clown rose into the sky and shot off towards the horizon. It isn't Beako. What is it this time? Is he trying to adhere to the book? Subaru shook his head he didn't have the willpower to try and fully understand Roswal's thought process.
I have to figure out how to answer Beatrice's question. He thought to himself. What is that? Subaru thought to himself as a strange feeling rose in his gut. What is going on? Subaru looked above him to gaze at the sun. It isn't time to head to Arlam yet. The feeling stayed. What is this feeling?
Subaru tried to gauge what it was. It wasn't the feeling of forgetting something. It was the feeling like you were missing something but didn't know what. What is it?
As the sun fell lower and his work continued Subaru tried to determine what he was missing. Subaru stood at the window trying to figure it out. What is it? Subaru could feel his mind begin to grasp it. Wait… What is- Fuck! Subaru realized he'd let the sun fall too low. I need to get to Arlam.
Subaru ran towards the doors to the mansion. I need to make this look suspicious otherwise Ram won't follow me. Subaru burst out the door and began running towards the village. His eyes moved frantically in search of Ram. No. Dammit. She's probably hiding much better now.
Subaru stopped himself when he got to the point where the forest surrounded the path. I can't find her. Time for plan b. "RAM!" Subaru shouted.
He received no response from the maid. "Ram I need your help!" Subaru yelled. I need Ram to handle Rem. Last time I got her to help by saying Rem was in the forest. That will make me more suspicious though. I had a believable way to know about that in the other loop.
There was still no response to Subaru's plea. Dammit. Subaru heard the sound of leaves brushing against cloth behind him. Subaru turned to the source of the noise. To where he could see a pink-haired maid walking out of the forest.
"What is it idiot Barusu." This behavior is beyond suspicious. Ram thought to herself.
"I need your help with something," Subaru answered. Ram looked into Subaru's cold eyes. She lowered her head in thought. This behavior is way too suspicious. He isn't a spy. Ram decided. She looked up at Subaru.
"Lead the way." Subaru's eyebrows raised. He didn't think I'd believe him that easily. Definitely not a spy.
"Did you hear what I said, let's go" Ram scolded. "Are you that slow Barusu? Come on."
Subaru nodded and began to jog towards the village. Need to conserve some energy. Subaru thought to himself as he kept a slower pace than two loops ago.
Moving at a jogging speed the two quickly reached the village. Subaru and Ram noticed the villagers crowding around one of the village kids. That's Mild. Subaru noted the dying child. Alright, the loop is on track now I just need to find the rest of them. They should be in the same place. Subaru ran past the villagers. Ram followed behind him.
Where is he going? Ram thought to herself as Subaru ran past the crowd. Her eyes widened when she saw him drawing closer to the fence that separated the village from the forest. He's not going to go in the forest, is he? Does he not know about the mabeasts? Subaru reached the fence. Ram's eyes widened further when, instead of slowing down or turning like she expected him to, Subaru vaulted his body over the fence and continued into the forest.
Ram stopped. The idiot's going into the forest. Could he actually be a spy? Ram remembered the boy's eyes when he asked for help. And the desperation that peeked through. No, he isn't a spy. And he saved Rem. Ram made her decision and followed Subaru into the forest.
Subaru arrived in the clearing where the village kids were. "Ram-" Subaru realized he didn't know where Ram was. Fuck! "Ram!" Subaru yelled again. Growls rang out in between the trees behind the housekeeper. Subaru's ears trembled from the sound of the mabeast's footsteps.
Subaru grabbed hold of his mana. "Sha-"
"Fula." Subaru's hair rippled in the wind. Mabeast blood sprayed onto his back.
"Ram?" Subaru's eyes searched wildly.
"Are you blind Barusu I'm right here." Ram insulted as she stepped into the clearing. Her eyes narrowed when they passed over the collapsed kids. So I was right to trust you Barusu. Ram commented.
"What is your plan Barusu?" Ram asked.
"My plan is-"
Subaru was cut off by the sound of screaming.
"DIE WITCH BEASTS!" Rem screamed in the distance.
Ram's eyes widened. Then they narrowed while her eyebrows twisted downwards.
"I'm going to go handle Rem you take these children back to the village," Ram commanded as she disappeared into the forest towards the source of the voice.
Subaru didn't waste any time trying to stop Ram. She was already following his plan. Instead, Subaru lifted two of the five children and began to sprint back towards the village. Using this strategy Subaru was able to get four of the children to the village without any issues.
However, when he went to rescue Petra he was interrupted by a group of ulgarm. When he detected the beasts surrounding him Subaru reached towards his gate and took hold of the mana he needed.
"SHAMAC!" Subaru molded the mana into a cloud of black smoke that blinded the witch beasts. He didn't waste any time and took off running. Unfortunately, it didn't take long for the beasts to break out of Subaru's magic and start to run him down.
Subaru neared the barrier. Almost there I just- Subaru was interrupted by a deafening roar right next to his ear. The beasts panted heavily as they gained on him.
Subaru was almost to the barrier, but the mabeasts were nearly on top of him. If they got any closer Subaru would be dead. Almost there.
Subaru heard the sound of chains and bones being shattered. Subaru burst out of the forest with Petra in his arms. I made it. Why did the same event happen both times? Was Meili purposely trying to kill me? And why was Rem there again? Subaru tried to come up with an answer to these questions as he set Petra down with the other village kids.
"How can we help?" One of the villagers asked Subaru.
"Go up to the mansion and get the girl that lives there to come down. Tell her the kids are cursed and need her help." Subaru instructed. Wait. I need to warn them about her appearance. "The girl up there may look dangerous. But, trust me she is the only one who can stop these kids from dying."
A few of the villagers nodded and set off towards the mansion.
"What can the rest of us do?" Another villager asked him.
Subaru looked up at the sky before responding. "Get me a lantern."
Subaru stood at the threshold between the village and the forest. I need to take on their suffering. Subaru's eyes were filled with cold resolve. Ram's face filled Subaru's mind. I will take on your suffering. Subaru set off into the infested forest.
"DIE!" The sound of Rem's shout reached the panting Subaru. That way! Subaru observed as he turned towards the direction of the shout.
Subaru ran in that direction for a few minutes before he heard the sound of more witch beasts dying. However, this time the sound was coming from a different direction. She moved. Subaru discerned before changing directions once more. How far away- Subaru's thought process was interrupted by the sound of growling. Damn.
Subaru's eyes scanned the surrounding forest. Where is it? To his right, Subaru caught a glimpse of the mabeasts red eyes. There. Subaru stops in place. The beast yowled in surprise. The surprise doesn't last long though. The mabeast quickly shifts its behavior and begins circling around Subaru probing for an opportunity.
As the ulgarm grows closer to Subaru it suddenly stops and begins to flare its nostrils. It had noticed the witch's mabeasts eyes grew brighter. The muscles in its legs flex and it bares its teeth. All rational thought disappeared from the ulgarm's mind. It blindly dove towards Subaru.
"Shamac!" Subaru shouted forming the mana in his body into magic. Once the mabeasts eyes are smothered in fog Subaru started running. The mabeast howls behind Subaru. Subaru ignores it and forces his legs to move. His legs scream for Subaru to stop. Can't stop now. Subaru resolves, and pushes the pain into the back of his mind and pressing onward.
As Subaru continues to run he hears the footsteps of multiple mabeasts. His eyes begin trying to find them. Left and Right. I'm surrounded. Need to keep running. Subaru doesn't stop or slow down. The mabeasts on Subaru's sides up their speed and pass him. It isn't until a few seconds later that Subaru realizes what they're doing. They're trying to cut me off. This is Meili's doing. Subaru's legs begin to slow screaming with pain. KEEP GOING! Subaru pushes the screaming of his legs away speeding up.
Red eyes glow in front of Subaru. Damn. Subaru's neck twists from left to right for a way to change directions and escape. In both directions, mabeasts run alongside him. He can tell with his hearing that behind him is the same story. Subaru is now truly surrounded. His eyes are jumping around trying to find any opening to escape. Need to take on their suffering. The mabeasts begin to close in on Subaru. Here goes. The ulgarm let out a wave of roars as they attack.
They attack Subaru from all directions. "SHAMAC!" Subaru yells out once they get close enough. Need to take on their suffering. Subaru's legs move on their own, full of adrenaline, pushing him through a gap in the ulgarm's ranks.
Subaru doesn't get very far before the ulgarm catch up once more. Need to find Ram and Rem. The breath of the dog-like creatures sends ripples through the fabric of Subaru's uniform. Where are Ram and Rem? Subaru's instincts tell him he's about to die. He reflexively shifts his mind to his gate.
"SHAMAC!" Subaru feels his gate begin to stretch. Need to reach them. A word reaches Subaru's ears.
"Fula!" RAM! Subaru feels teeth rip into his right arm. The mabeasts had caught up to him again.
"SHAMAC!" Subaru screams forcing mana through his tearing gate as his right hand is torn off by one of the ulgarm. Subaru forces his body to remain conscious through blood loss. Need to take on their suffering. Subaru keeps running until he feels the jaws of an ulgarm slam shut on his left leg.
The leg is ripped from Subaru's body as he tries to keep running. The ground speeds towards Subaru's face. I need to take on their suffering. Subaru's body slams into the ground with a splatter of blood. I'll take on their suffering. No matter how many times it takes. Subaru confirms his resolve as the mabeasts begin to tear into his body.
Subaru feels his mind fading. Why? His thoughts grow incoherent as his blood is spilled on the forest soil. Eventually, Subaru's soul is ripped from his body.
Subaru refuses to open his eyes. Why? I just need a minute. Why? The sound of metal clattering slips into Subaru's ear. What? Subaru's eyes drift open. Without taking in the environment in front of him he directs his vision to where he'd heard the sound. To his right hand. The first thing Subaru notices is that instead of seeing the wood floor of the mansion he sees dirt. Where am I? Subaru finally figures out what had made the noise. It was a lantern. Subaru's eyes flipped back to what was in front of him. Before him was a dark forest. This is the moment before I entered the forest.
Subaru took a step back. A slight feeling of relief rose in his chest. I need to plan this out. First, figure out where Ram and Rem end up. And if it's a consistent location. Second, find a way to make it through the forest without getting eaten. With a plan in his mind Subaru sprints into the forest.
It wasn't long before Subaru hears Rem's screaming. So she starts there. I need to find out if her path is the same in each loop. Subaru stood still listening to the sounds of the forest. She moves that way. Subaru hears the sound of shattering bones. Then she turns that way. He observes trying to construct a map of Rem's path. Then she…
Subaru hears the sounds of more mabeasts, but these were much closer than the others. Dammit. Subaru quickly took stock of the area he was standing in so he could come to the same spot next loop. I should be able to find this place again. Subaru thought as ulgarm pounced on him.
The lantern jingled in Subaru's hand. He was standing outside of the forest. Time to get back there. Subaru thought as he sprinted towards his destination.
When Subaru arrived he stopped to scan the area. Once he was confident he was in the right place he nodded and focused his mind on his hearing.
"DIE WITCH SPAWN!" Rem let out a blood-curdling scream. There! Subaru began to construct his mental map.
"AHHHH!" Rem's shout was quickly followed by the sounds of crunching bones. Now she's there. But… FUCK!
"Her course is random," Subaru whispered to himself. I need to find them in a random position. While avoiding Meili's mabeasts. This will- Subaru felt teeth begin to sink into his body.
Subaru gasped and nearly dropped the lantern when he returned. He'd been too focused on mapping Rem's movements that he hadn't noticed the mabeasts surrounding him.
As soon as he recovered from the surprise he thought to himself. Two loops. If I run through this enough times I'll eventually get it. Its luck. Subaru's eyes glinted with resolve. I can beat any odds given enough loops. Subaru nodded to himself before setting off into the forest.
Ram watched her sister closely. I need to think of a way to break her out of her oni form. Then meet up with Barusu. If I can land a solid hit to her horn that should be enough. Inside of Ram's mind, she was planning.
Meanwhile outside of Ram's mind Rem had run out of witch beasts to kill. She moved towards any ulgarm she could find. Ram followed the bloodthirsty maid. Should I knock her out of it? That's the more important question. Ram's answer came in the form of a lone ulgarm. One of them had exploited Rem's anger to get behind her.
The beast pounced on Rem. "Fula," Ram whispered. The mabeast was ripped apart by blades of wind. That's happened twice now. I definitely need to knock her out of that state. Ram made her decision. Then I could use a part of my oni form to get us out. But without my oni form, I'll need to take Rem by surprise. Ram began to think of a way she could use the terrain to her advantage. While she planned she whispered to herself, "I will save you, Rem."
Subaru heard his skull shatter from the ulgarm's bite. I need to get to them. But I can't keep the mabeasts off me long enough- Stop this is possible. I've only tried it twenty-three times. Subaru crushed his doubts and ran into the forest once more.
Ram used her clairvoyance to gauge the locations of all the witch beasts. Using this knowledge she was able to predict Rem's movements. I need to get her to stop in one spot long enough for me to get a good hit in on her horn. I will save you, Rem.
Subaru's mouth filled with blood as his torso was crushed in the jaws of a mabeast.
"Mmm." Subaru groaned as he opened his eyes to the outside of the forest. I need to get to them I need to take on their suffering. It's only been fifty-eight loops. I can do this. With that Subaru took off into the forest for the fifty-ninth time since his save point had reset.
Ram knew where she would spring her trap, and Rem was already on the way to it. I need to distract her with my voice. If I can do that in the middle of one of Rem's fights with the ulgarm I should be able to land a solid hit. Then I should have enough mana to get us out of the forest. If I don't have enough then I can use some of my oni form. Ram's eyes told her that Rem was moving into the trap. No more time to think. Ram told herself as she followed her mindless sister.
Subaru was surrounded by mabeasts. I can do this. Subaru felt words forming in his mind. I don't need to burden others with my suffering. Only I need to suffer. The mabeasts pounced. Only. Me. As the teeth of the ulgarm began to sink into Subaru memories flashed in his mind. They were the memories of ranting to Emilia. Another memory. It was Emilia smiling when he'd thanked her for listening to him.
Subaru opened his eyes to the entrance to the forest. Seventy-one. I can do this. Only I need to suffer. Subaru ran into the forest yet again.
Ram waited in the branches of a tree. She was watching mabeasts explode after they were hit with Rem's morning star. The current group was mostly eliminated. Now if I call to her she'll be caught between me and the remaining witch beasts. Ram didn't hesitate any further now was the time, "Rem!" The pink-haired maid called out to her sister.
Mabeasts were circling him. I can do this. I can take on their suffering. Only I need to suffer. An image appeared in Subaru's mind. It was the memory of looking at himself in the mirror after he'd vented to Emilia. He remembered the look in his eyes. That look of calm. No matter how much Subaru tried to lie to himself and say that he was normally calm he couldn't make himself believe it. Because he couldn't erase the knowledge that it was the first time he'd seen that look since Echidna had broken her contract with him.
The mabeasts charged Subaru. He was too busy, struggling with the knowledge of how he'd attained those calm eyes, to care about mabeasts right now. I- I can't tell anyone about the burdens I carry. That would cause them to suffer. I can't cause them to suffer. Subaru's skin was ripped from his face as an ulgarm tore into his skull.
Subaru looked into the entrance of the forest. One hundred and twelve. "I-I can do this," Subaru whispered before running into the forest once more.
Rem looked up to try and find the source of the voice. Her eyes wide her mouth agape. "Sister?"
Subaru felt his gate collapse as he cast shamac for the eighth time that loop. I can do this. I will take their suffering. I will carry their burdens. No one has to know about the burdens I carry. I don't have to tell anyone. I can do this without telling anyone about my burdens. Subaru fell to the ground as his legs were torn off by mabeasts. An ulgarm appeared above him. It opened its jaws and began to lower them onto Subaru's face. Inside the gaping mouth of the mabeast Subaru saw another memory. It was the memory of a tea party. Actually, it wasn't just one memory it was every memory. Every tea party that Subaru ever had was dancing in his mind. Echidna- Subaru's thought was cut off as the ulgarm closed its jaws.
Subaru stood in front of the forest. One hundred and thirteen. "I don't need to tell others about my burdens. I can carry them on my own." Subaru whispered to himself before running into the forest once more.
Ram launched herself down. Rocketing towards the shocked Rem. Her arm was coiled back ready to knock Rem out of her oni form.
"Sist-" Rem was cut off as Ram's arm uncoiled and slammed into her horn. The pink-white horn let out a blinding flash as it disappeared. Rem's eyes drifted closed, and she began to fall.
Ram caught her before she could hit the ground. Now with her sister in her arms, Ram could enact phase two of her plan. Getting out of the forest alive.
Ram's first obstacle was the group of mabeasts that had gathered around her. To dispose of them she reached out towards her mana.
"El Fula." Blades of wind sliced the surrounding mabeasts to pieces.
Subaru was surrounded again. A dozen mabeasts were slowly circling him. Echidna. I told you about the burdens I carried. But I can keep going even without that. I can keep going. I don't need to tell others about my burdens. I can do this alone. I can do it alone. I can carry these burdens completely alone. No one needs to know about them. No one just me. Only I need to know. Subaru remembered the smile Emilia had given him.
"I-I c-can do this a-alone." The mabeasts that surrounded Subaru were growing closer. It was as if Meili was slowly tightening the noose. "I can do this." Subaru's voice was breaking. "W-without telling o-others about m-my burdens." I can… Subaru's eyes filled with tears. Subaru remembered Echidna listening as he told her about return by death. He clenched his jaw. The boy was biting down so hard he could feel his teeth moving. He remembered Rem confessing her love to him.
"I-I can…" Subaru's voice cut off. The mabeasts turned towards Subaru. "I can-" Subaru was interrupted by a voice in his mind.
"I'm sorry Natsuki-san this is farewell." The mabeasts were flexing their legs. They were about to attack.
Subaru felt words rising in his chest. I can- I can- Subaru tried to suppress the words.
"I thought of you as my friend." Words formed on Subaru's tongue.
"I can-" Subaru tried to replace the words with something else. Just like the day he'd vented to Emilia. On that day where Emilia had smiled at him. Subaru realized now that it didn't matter if that smile was real or fake.
"I can't keep these burdens a secret, no matter how much I want to." The words drifted from Subaru just like the tears that fell from his eyes. A connection grew in the back of his mind.
"Would you like to form a contract?" Subaru heard a childlike voice in his mind.
"Yes," Subaru whispered. The mabeasts dove towards him.
The rest happened in less than a second. Subaru felt energy coursing through his body. The mabeasts grew closer. He felt a new word forming in his throat.
The ulgarm were nearly there a few more milliseconds and Subaru would die. The word in his throat began to take on the energy in his body. It was as if the energy and the word became one. The ground where Subaru stood began to glow with a purple sheen. The feeling within Subaru strengthened. The mabeasts began to close their jaws. Subaru let out the growing power within him.
"MINYA!"
The power in his body transferred through his gate. As it released from Subaru's body the mana transformed into glass shards that surrounded Subaru. With another pulse of mana, the arrows shot out in every direction.
As the arrows of stopped time pierced the hides of the ulgarm it transmuted them all in flashes of purple light. The mabeasts froze as purple glass grew on their bodies. Trapping them. Encasing them. Killing them.
By the time the light had cleared and Subaru could see clearly again he was surrounded by a dozen crystal ulgarm shaped statues. And all the terrain in a few foot radius around him had been crystallized as well.
"Huh, I pulled off a Minya." Subaru thought into the connection in his mind.
"With my mana." The spirit pointed out. Subaru noticed that the spirit sounded far more mature than earlier.
Subaru sent an impression of his gratitude to the spirit, as he started running towards where he guessed Ram would be.
"Fula." Ram formed the last of her mana into blades of wind. Without any mabeasts attacking at the moment Ram continued running towards the light of Arlam with Rem unconscious in her arms.
It wasn't long before mabeasts began to close in on Ram once more. I'll need to drop one of the shackles. Ram thought as she ran. It's a large risk though.
Subaru dashed through the forest. "I need to find Ram." Subaru pushed the thought through his mental link to the quasi-spirit.
"I can't find her. You'll need to ask them." The voice of spirit responded in Subaru's mind.
"Who's them?" Subaru asked as he continued running. Subaru didn't receive an answer from the spirit.
"Dammit. I need to find Ram." Subaru didn't realize that he had broadcasted the thought out into the forest. What was that feeling? Subaru remarked on what he'd accidentally done as he ducked beneath a tree branch.
Subaru's thoughts were interrupted by numerous blue lights that had begun to surround him. This brought a memory into his mind. Subaru was watching Emilia standing on a bridge it was his first loop in this world. She explained to him that she was speaking to minor spirits.
"This way follow us." Subaru heard the minor spirits whisper into his mind. The minor spirits began to fly in the direction of Ram. Subaru followed.
Ram saw red eyes ahead of her. Damn. These mabeasts are more intelligent than they should be. Ulgarm began to reveal themselves until there were around two dozen surrounding Ram. I need to use my oni form here. But I can't fully control it. The mabeasts began to circle around Ram searching for an opportunity. I could hurt Rem if I lose control. The mabeasts drew closer tightening the circle. But if I don't use my oni form she dies no matter what.
The ulgarm turned towards Ram and Rem. The pink-haired oni reached towards her oni form, First shackle-
"EL MINYA!" Ram heard a shout. She knew that voice. Barusu?
The scream forged forty shards of purple glass above Ram and the mabeasts. With another flash of purple light, the shards began plummeting towards the mabeasts.
The ulgarm howled as their bodies were pierced. Purple crystals began to consume the ulgarm as they were hit by the shards. They tried biting at the crystal. Tried clawing at it. Many even ripped their limbs off to stop it from consuming them. But by that point, it was too late for the beasts.
Ram was in a huddled position. She had used her body to shield Rem from the shards raining down on the small clearing. She looked up when she realized that the shards were only targeting the mabeasts.
When the screams of the mabeasts had ended all that remained were twenty crystallized ulgarm. "Barusu?" Ram called out. Subaru burst through the trees.
"What is it?" Subaru asked her with a cold expression on his face.
"How did you do that?" Ram asked.
Subaru just held up his hand. Levitating above his palm was a glowing black orb about the size of a marble. The sight would've been familiar to anyone who'd seen Julius Juukulius' quasi-spirit Nes.
"Is that a spirit?" Ram asked.
Subaru merely nodded to her question.
"Well if there are no mabeasts left let's go Barusu."
Subaru followed the pink-haired maid. He doesn't even ask for a thank you. What an interesting man. Ram commented to herself.
"You want me to carry Rem?" Subaru asked.
"The last time you were this close to Rem she tried to kill you, so no. You are clueless for not thinking about that Barusu."
"You're right," Subaru admitted.
The two walked along in silence for a while.
Eventually, Ram decided to break the silence, "Why do you never smile Barusu?"
"Someone once told me to never force myself to smile."
Ram looked at the boy her eyes filling with concern. So he's never felt a genuine desire to smile in all the time since he began to work at the mansion.
"I understand Barusu." Ram nodded and the two continued. Ram didn't notice the slight tears that formed at the corner of Subaru's eyes. She doesn't look like she's suffering. Do the people I care about really not suffer when I tell them about my burdens? Can I believe that? Subaru kept his questions to himself. He didn't know anything about his newly contracted spirit so he didn't share these thoughts with him.
The next time the silence was broken it wasn't by Ram or Subaru. It was the growl of several ulgarm that broke the silence. The two looked at each other.
"I'm out of mana Barusu."
"Me too."
"What about your spirit?" Ram asked as the mabeasts began to circle around them.
"I used up what little he had stored earlier," Subaru answered.
"There is something I could do but it's dangerous. You'll probably get hurt." Ram looked at the boy he nodded giving her the go-ahead. "You need to hold Rem for me." Ram handed over the blue-haired girl.
Ram reached into her mind. She gripped the first shackle on her power. The wind began to pick up around Ram.
"Ul Goa!" The mabeasts that surrounded the mansion workers were incinerated.
Roswal slammed into the ground like a meteor. He looked down at the mansion workers and smiled. So maybe I will be the final Roswal. He thought to himself. "I will take care of the rest of them you two go and rest. You've had a long day of work." Roswal dismissed the two and walked off into the forest.
Fifteen minutes later Puck was busy lifting the curses on the children, while Emilia healed Ram, Rem, and Subaru.
"There they should be fine now." Puck said as he finished working.
"Yeah, you guys should also be fine now you'll need to rest though." Emilia's eyes were filled with concern as she saw the injuries the three of them had acquired.
"Thank you," Subaru offered his gratitude. Then he looked up at the moon. He felt the tiredness weighing him down. "I'm going to fall asleep now see you all in the morning." Subaru gave in to the tiredness that weighed him down. His eyes drifted closed. He was already asleep when shocked looks appeared on the faces of Puck, Emilia, and Ram.
Ram's reaction was just barely quick enough for her to catch the falling boy. "He wasn't lying." Puck quipped.
"Is he going to be alright Emilia-sama?" Ram asked a light tone of worry in her voice.
"Yeah, he should be fine." Emilia responded, "Though moving him to the mansion could mess with his sleep, and he needs that. So I'll go ask if the villagers have a place for him to sleep." Emilia walked towards where the villagers were huddled.
Ram finished putting Rem and Subaru into the spare beds and room the villagers had offered them. I'll have to watch these two. Rem won't take kindly to waking up in the same room as Barusu. Ram placed a stool in between the two beds. I won't be sleeping tonight. Ram commented resigned.
After a few minutes of watching the two sleep, she noticed something. It was a faint whisper. "It was real. That smile had to be real. It had to be." Ram searched for the source of the whispering. She realized that it was coming from Subaru.
Ram's eyes were filled with concern. So you have nightmares along with everything else. What happened to you Barusu? Ram reached over to where Subaru's left hand peeked out of the covers. "Dammit, Barusu," Ram whispered as she took his hand in hers. Her face twisted into a scowl when Subaru began to cling onto her hand. "I'm only doing this because you saved Rem today." The scowl faded from Ram's face.
"Thank you Barusu."
That night Subaru slept peacefully.
However, a few hours into that peaceful sleep Roswal opened the door to the building. "Ram." He nodded to the maid.
"I have deaaaalt wiiith the ulgarm now. Wouuuuld you like to return to the mansion wiiiith meee?" Roswal whispered in his sing-song tone.
Ram shook her head. "I am deeply sorry Roswal-sama. But I can't go with you right now."
"And whyyyy is thaaat." Roswal smiled. He wasn't surprised that Ram had turned down his offer after all he'd read about it in the gospel months ago. "Actually don't woooory abouuut it." Roswal's eyes turned to where Ram was holding Subaru's hand. "I already know." The clown's smile grew slightly wider.
He walked over to the place where Rem rested. "Rem does neeeed to come baaack with meee though. Weeee wouldn't want anything unfortunate to haaaapen if she were to wake up next to dear Subaru-kun."
"Of course Roswal-sama." Ram nodded.
With that Roswal lifted the sleeping maid and walked towards the exit of the building. As he passed Ram he reached over to the maid. Placing his fingertip on where her horn once was. He gathered some of his mana and pushed it into the scar.
"Mmmm." Ram let out a light moan.
"That shouuuuld be enough for tonight. I will fuuuully attend to youuuu once you retuuurn tooo the mansion." The clown left without another word.
The rest of the night passed peacefully with Ram holding the sleeping boy's hand.
Subaru's eyes calmly drifted open. He looked around to find he was in an empty room. Where am I? Is this a dream? Subaru shifted his focus to the back of his mind. He felt at the connection that lay there. "We're going to need to have a formal conversation soon." Subaru pushed through the connection. "I don't even know your name."
"Nan." The spirit whispered its name back through their mental link. Subaru could tell from the spirit's voice that it was tired from yesterday.
Subaru stood up from the bed feeling like he was forgetting something. When he got to the door of the building Subaru remembered: Beako! Subaru pushed the door out.
"Barusu." Subaru was immediately greeted by Ram as he exited.
"Oh." Subaru took a back surprised, "Hey Ram."
"Is there something you want to ask me?" Subaru wondered trying to figure out why Ram was waiting for him to walk out of the building. As soon as he spoke those words the realization that he'd almost had yesterday dawned on him. Wait… What was Beako's question?
Subaru's legs started moving before he realized it. The question he'd asked Ram was essentially forgotten. He ran towards the mansion a vague outline of a plan forming in his mind. I will take on your suffering Beako. Subaru thought. Too busy to notice the scowl on Ram's face. After a few seconds, she returned her face to normal and followed Subaru.
What happened Barusu? Ram thought as she followed him.
Subaru's body was screaming for him to stop as he arrived in the front yard of the mansion. Subaru ignored his body and kept running, and he ignored the shocked faces of Puck and Emilia as they watched Subaru running towards them. He still hadn't noticed that Ram was following him.
"Subaru are-" Emilia began to ask Subaru a question
"No time!" Subaru yelled as he ran past the two. Subaru was too busy running and planning to notice his spirit's fear as they passed Puck. Subaru grabbed the handle of the door of the mansion and slammed it open with his weight.
"Ram what's happening?" Emilia asked the maid that was running behind Subaru. Ram didn't give a response. She was too busy trying to follow Subaru to talk to Emilia.
When Subaru was inside he ignored Roswal's smiling face as he watched from his seat in the dining room. Subaru just kept running towards his bedroom. He dodged around the wide-eyed Rem. Need to get to Beako. Rem's eyes widened further when she saw Ram in pursuit of Subaru.
Does sister need help dealing with him? Rem began to pull her morning star out. Her face was contorting in disgust due to the sheer amount of miasma that surrounded the boy. But before she could fully ready her weapon Ram caught the blue-haired maid's eyes and shook her head. Sister? Rem trusted her sister enough to lower her weapon.
Eventually, Subaru reached the door to his bedroom. "Barusu?" Ram asked when he finally stopped. Subaru ignored Ram. Instead, he stared at the closed door to his bedroom.
Subaru grabbed the door handle. I will take on your suffering Beako. Subaru pulled the door open to reveal a grand library. It was filled wall to wall with Echidna's knowledge. In the center was a crying spirit.
Subaru slammed the door closed behind him.
All the members of the mansion were locked out of the forbidden library now. Not for Ram's lack of trying, however. Ram had begun searching every door in the mansion for the library.
"Beako." The artificial spirit looked up at him. Tears dripped from her eyes.
"Are you Betty's they?" Her butterfly-shaped eyes stared into his.
Subaru's cold eyes met her tear-filled eyes.
"What are you really asking me Beako?" Tears fell faster from Beatrice's eyes. By now there was a small pool of tears surrounding her.
"I just want to know I suppose. I want to know why. Why I'm here. Why mother hasn't told me anything. Why? Why? What purpose is there to continuing Betty's life I suppose?" Beatrice demanded.
Subaru closed his eyes. This hasn't gone at all according to plan so far. Yet even still Subaru felt a strange sense of stability. Maybe it was the words he said in that forest. Subaru opened his eyes. Beatrice gasped when she saw what lay in his eyes.
In Natsuki Subaru's eyes, Beatrice saw stability, determination, and a tiny minuscule microscopic glint of warmth. The boy breathed in. Beatrice stopped crying.
"I don't know the answer," Subaru admitted.
Beatrice's body began to crumple. She felt new tears begin to fill her eyes.
"But I'm going to find out." Beatrice looked up to the boy. A dim ray of hope rose in her chest.
"How can I trust you I suppose?"
"I think I can find the answer."
"That doesn't answer my question. And you can't I suppose." Subaru's eyes shone with a cold tenacity.
Subaru offered his hand to the small spirit.
"Well then let's make a bet." Subaru offered. "You give me one year to find your answer-"
"And if you can't?"
"Then, I will be your they."
Beatrice looked into the boy's eyes. She saw them gleaming no burning with resolve. The spirit of the library couldn't see it but her own eyes glimmered with hope. She saw other things in those eyes as well. She saw someone who'd lived longer than they should have. Someone who just wanted to know. She saw the signs in him. The signs of Echidna's touch. She didn't want to acknowledge it but she knew deep down that both of them had been abandoned by her mother.
In that tiny moment of understanding the two shared Beatrice, for the first time in four hundred years, didn't feel alone. She'd found someone who could finally understand her. She knew at that moment that no one else could find her answer.
"I accept." Beatrice took Subaru's outstretched hand
Alright, there we go. I'm going to take a break from writing so see you guys in about a week.