Urgh…

Exhausted, for once I'm glad to return to the icy chill that is Haven. Time to relax while the adults go tend to the situation, but honestly I'm exhausted, all that fighting, all that politics and in the end, of course the king had to arrive, urgh…I hate politics, mage and Templar politics are the worse, I don't understand how Josephine and Evelyn enjoy it so much…But now, at least I can finally relax, take a nap and maybe think about things that won't remind me of the impending doom of the breach, towering, looming, taunting over us, tch, it pisses me off.

Calmly, I relax my muscles and close my eyes preparing for the relaxing nap that I think I earned for today, only for my ears to perk up at the faint crunch of snow.

"I swear to whatever bullshit that is out there, if you're some fan boy or some scout about wanting my assistance, you can piss off!" I curse opening my eyes to glare up at…baldy. Of fucking course…

"Such a friendly greeting as expected of someone like you," Solas smirks down at me while I return with a playful glare.

"Like you can talk," I huff, spotting Solas siting down next to me cross legged, I open an eye to glance at him, seeing him calmly meditating, peacefully looking out at the horizon of the ice covered lake before us.

"What do you want egghead? Shouldn't you be all jolly with the mages here now? Why not go bug them and have a mage off or whatever," I huff waving him only to earn a small chuckle from said male.

"The circle mages lack the knowledge that I have," Solas exclaims.

"Ah Solas always the modest one aren't you?" I retort, sarcastically.

"And always the warmest aren't you?" He returns making me pout.

"Touché," I sigh, allowing him to sit down beside me.

"I am curious," Solas begins.

"Of what?" I encourage him to speak.

"Your time in Kirkwall, the tales I have heard of you call you a hero, a role model, some don't even believe you exist," Solas informs me.

"They can believe what they want I don't care," I grumble.

"Really now? Do you not want the fame, the glory, the pride of your triumph?" Solas enquires.

"I wouldn't call it a triumph more of a shit storm that went too far, it was never meant to have turned out the way that it did. None of us wanted to be involved in the petty squabbles of the mages and Templars, both leaders were as bad and childish as the other," I explain calmly to Solas who leans in, intrigued by my story.

"Do you remember any of it?" Solas asks as I simply shrug.

"Bits and pieces," I shrug.

"Why is that?" Solas frowns.

"Why are you so curious?" I frown at him.

"Just want to hear from the elven speaker for the mages," Solas smirks while I groan at the old title.

"Don't call me that, I hate it, I'm just a person who was there at the wrong time, I'd rather be treated normally than all that valour and glory, it's too annoying, you should treat people how you want to be treated," I reason turning to a silent but surprised Solas.

"You surprise me yet again," Solas smirks.

"I tend to do that," I smirk back.

"So you passed out was it fatigue?" Solas questions.

"It was a mixture, from both fatigue and my lyrium markings…also a bit of alcohol, I forget what drink I ordered from the Hanged Man," I blurt out, my eyes widening, why the heck am I telling him this!? Urgh I thought it was the wine that made me be honest more but perhaps it's just Solas who makes me speak honestly…I don't like it.

Wait you were drunk?" Solas frowns.

"I think so…I just remember Isabela rushing in just as I finished my drink off with some foreign guy, heh, I won," I smirk at the memory while Solas chuckles, shaking his head.

"So…Lyrium?" Solas frons.

"Yeah if I use my markings too much, I tend to cough up blood or pass out," I explain simply.

"Just like back then," Solas notes as I nod confirming it. Suddenly, I feel a warm, soft, pale hand grab my gauntlet shocked and scared, I wince at the brief memory of his grubby hand, no get off me! Roughly, I jerk my hand back, glaring at him.

"What are you doing?" I scowl at him.

"I was curious about something," He states.

"Be more specific!" I growl.

"You seem to have issue with someone touching you why is that?" Solas tries to change topic as I glare at him.

"It's none of your concern," I huff making sure to keep my distance.

"You seem okay with people touching you sometimes," He points out.

"That's because I can handle some contact but others I cannot," I huff tired of his interrogation.

"I see then may I try something," He opens his hand out to me making me blink surprised by the request, my eyes narrow feeling my muscles tense up. He's a mage, he could be trying to do some blood magic…but I don't see a knife.

"It's no blood magic, I don't use blood magic," He confirms making me raise a bro.

"If I did, it would be harder to get into the fade," Solas adds, his hand outstretched.

He's not like him…he's not. Maybe…but still I…silently, I stare at Sols, my eyes arrowed unsure whether to do it or not.

However, curiosity eats away at me, curious of his plan. Slowly, hesitantly I reach my hand out.

"I promise not to harm you," Solas swears as I slip my hand into his larger, warmer and rougher hand, feeling a faint warm spark but I ignore it, instead to glare into his calm hues as suddenly, a soft glow reaches my arm. Shocked, I try to jump back but he holds me in place, as I feel my body move in both fear and tension. No, no, No…

"It's okay, it's oaky," Solas softly whispers to me trying to reassure me only making me quiver terrified however as soon as I feel his warmth I feel my shaking body cease, relaxing from his warm touch. Surprised, my eyes widen watching a few open cuts and small slits in my skin slowly close up…

He's…healing me. Stunned, my eyes widen in recognition of the green glow. Eventually, he removes his hand out, his brow raised intrigued.

"Interesting," He whispers.

"What is?" I question suspicious, double checking my body for any curses or strange things but I find none, he just healed me.

"Th-thanks," I reply shakily, not used to a mage being this kind well, I should get used to it, just the last time someone healed me…

Sighing, I shake my head at the memory of that idiotic traitor and decide to focus on Sols, seeing him gaze intrigued by my markings.

"Are you okay now?" Solas enquires.

"I'm alive aren't I?" I smirk weakly making Solas smirk back.

"You're not wrong, I…apologise if I made you feel uncomfortable," Solas smiles weakly looking away briefly making me release a tense sigh, my hand on my arm, relieved to recycle no questions on the topic as we continue to sit there, in the snow, in the peaceful cold, together simply enjoying one another's company. It's strange…I've never felt this comfortable with another, a part from my brother and a mage at that…something strange is going on and it's odd, I don't know what to do and I hate it.

I feel weird…

I feel warm

I feel safe…

And I don't know what to do about this! Ah! I HATE THIS! Stupid emotions….