"Liar, liar, liar." Emilia's words haunted Subaru as he stepped out of her bedroom, which was in a small cabin near Roswaal's.
"How is she Subaru-kun?" Rem asked him when he shut the door and arrived in the hallway.
"Not the best," He responded curtly. Remorse permeated his voice, and his eyes dropped to the floor for a brief moment.
"Y'know Subaru-kun, you don't want to give me a chance to get back at you do you," Rem gave him a determined smile and raised her hand slightly. "Stop moping and hold your head high." Her voice grew serious for a moment, "You didn't let me drop my head, so I won't let you do it either."
Warmth glimmered in their eyes, and for now he was able to listen to her words. He pushed his eyes back up, and parted his lips to speak.
"Thanks, Rem, and can you watch over Emilia?" Rem nodded in response to his question.
Subaru caught her gesture and walked out of the cabin. Once he was outside he ran into Ram, who was leaning against the wall next to the door.
"I assume Emilia-sama is doing okay?" The pink-haired maid asked him while she stood up and stepped up next to him.
"Yeah, she should be alright. She can reattempt the trial soon." He tried to use Rem's words to shove down his guilt.
"You can't be serious, Barusu. It isn't her fault, but she isn't strong enough for this trial." Ram attempted to direct the insult inherent in her first sentence only at Subaru.
"She might've been, had I not taken her hand. And now I made a rash decision out of fear. The problem is we have to stay the course, otherwise she'll get worse." He slid his tongue through his teeth. The temptation to bite down ran through him, but the thought of Ram watching him bleed out held his jaws apart.
"Well then, stop dwelling on those mistakes, idiot," She shook her head, pretending to insult his utter stupidity.
Subaru's tongue returned to its resting place. "Alright then, I'm going to bed for tomorrow."
"I see that perverted expectant look in your eyes." Ram criticized any intention he could have before he had a chance to have it. "I will not be joining you as I have to make sure of a few things in the Sanctuary before tomorrow,"
"What things?" He tilted his head and ignored her insult completely. The events following his conversation with Emilia had happened so fast his mind was a bit slower than it normally would have been.
"You asked me to handle Garf, seriously Barusu. Your lack of intelligence almost makes me pity you, but then I realize you also aren't worth pity." Ram endeavored to force a false scowl onto her face; however, she was less than successful in the attempt.
"Yeah, it's been a long day," He set out toward the church where Otto and the villagers were sleeping, but he soon noticed Ram was following him. "What are you doing Ram?"
"Making sure you don't get lost," Subaru's lips tilted upward at her attempt to conceal her protectiveness.
"Sure, Ram," He accepted, and ignored, her antics while they continued on toward the church.
For the next couple of minutes, they traded insults, until they reached the chapel doors, where he snuck inside, so as to not wake the others.
The pink-haired oni watched him slink into the darkness with a concerned look upon her face.
I need to deal with Garf, but Barusu will have nightmares if I don't stay. "Damn." She slammed her fist into her knee at the situation.
"I'm sorry, Barusu." She realized there was no time to do both. She'd just have to make it up to him somehow tomorrow if the look in his eyes did get any worse.
With that, she quested into the forest to find Garfiel.
Around a fifteen-minute walk away from the church's spire, Garfiel Tinzel walked alongside the same forest pathways. He stayed a few meters away from them, sticking to the forest so that he could watch over the Sanctuary and catch any suspicious behavior. With all of these newcomers today was a day in which he couldn't sleep. There were just too many new variables he had to watch for.
And with how manipulative Roswaal and that new Subaru guy were, there was no way he would be able to sleep soundly for the next couple of nights. So he continued to survey the forest, and keep an eye out for anything out of place.
I might have to watch that merchant guy too. Garfiel caressed the scar on his forehead. He seems alright, but he could be manipulated and then used by that Subaru guy.
"A weak guy like that'd have to use manipulation to get by, so he'll be very good at it," He still couldn't shake the feeling of Subaru's brown eyes on his own. Planning to manipulate him, and to use him.
With those eyes in mind, he kept up his vigilance. He was the Shield of the Sanctuary after all.
A few moments later he heard a rustling in the branches around him. "Hm?" He rubbed his feet into the ground and prepared to use his Divine Protection. As the sound got louder he masked his voice. There was a small chance whoever it was hadn't heard him, so he kept quiet.
Doing his best to keep his noise down he snuck through some of the underbrush in a search for the disturbance's source. From the way the sound continued to move around him, he knew it couldn't be an animal. Unfortunately for him, in the thick forest he couldn't see them, and they were also completely outmaneuvering him, though they weren't running away or making any moves against him.
Suddenly, all went quiet, and he waited in bated breath, not for fear of fighting, but in fear that he may have to kill someone.
However, he was given no time to hesitate when another rustle burst out next to him.
On instinct, he lifted up his foot to activate his Divine Protection, until whoever it was managed to ascend up into the trees and completely evaded him. As if they'd anticipated exactly what action he would take. The darkness held him from fully being able to glimpse the person, so he wouldn't be able to aim his Divine Protection, so he would have to think upon the situation and find a new strategy.
They know what I'll do ahead of when I'm doing it., and what it means when my foot is raised, but can also see exactly when I'm about to do it and where I look. Garfiel's eyes widened, and a small smile slipped across his face.
"Wonder how yer gonna deal with this one," Garfiel whispered self-assuredly as he shut his eyes.
The rustling moved around him, and he followed it entirely on sound and scent. He did well chasing it around the trees for a moment until the sound disappeared. "Shit," He snapped open his eyes and searched the trees around him.
All felt hopeless until a burst of rustling leaves came from above. He tried to throw his head up to get a glimpse of the canopy, but a fist slammed into the back of his neck before he got the chance.
"Ha. What a pitiful attempt at avoiding my Clairvoyance." Ram spoke in a merciless yet friendly tone as she brought her other fist into his back.
"Ah…" He groaned as he was forced to the ground and the wind was knocked from his lungs.
Ram waited with her arms crossed as he rolled over and pulled himself into a sitting position. "Well then what do ya suggest my amazin' self should do?" He wanted to greet her, but finding faults in his fighting so he could better protect the Sanctuary came first.
"If you find yourself in a situation like that don't involve yourself in the chase and play into my hands that easily. The most beneficial thing to do would have been to go back to the village and await me in an area where you had the advantage. Also when you noticed it was me and closed your eyes, that was a bad move. If better conditions couldn't be found and you had to fight, it would have been far more useful to find some way to put me in a situation where your eyesight gave me no advantage." She lectured him with a scowl, but her words had a helpful tone.
"'N what does that situation look like?" He stood up and asked.
In response, she shrugged and spoke, "That isn't something I have to think about, and if I told you it would just make it easier for other enemies to beat you in the future. You'd become dependent upon me. More than you already are, idiot." They could both tell the last sentence was a lie, but Garfiel didn't blame her. He'd figured out her insults were mostly fake long ago.
"Aight, well why did you attack my amazin' self?" Ram had been acting oddly ever since she'd come to the Sanctuary. She was far less focused on Roswaal than she normally would have been.
An image from yesterday flashed in his mind. Is she bein' manipulated by that Subaru guy? For now, he dismissed it, Ram was smart enough not to fall for manipulation like that. He must have just been misreading the situation, which he admitted was entirely possible.
"I needed to talk to you about a few things, and clear up any misconceptions you may have gotten from yesterday. Come on" Ram gestured for him to follow her.
"Makes sense. 'N where are we goin', Ram?" He put his hands behind his back and locked his fingers there.
"Nowhere in particular, but standing in the same place with only you to look at would get boring very quickly." She answered his question and mixed in an insult at the same time.
He smiled at her ability to interweave her insults into everything. "Ther's a couple thin's I wanna know. First, what's Roswaal planning?"
Ram's frown deepened at his words. "Other than the liberation of the Sanctuary there is very little I know that would be relevant to you."
Garfiel's footsteps grew heavier at those words. "I'd figured he wanted that." He grumbled.
"You're being an idiot and are against the idea I assume." Ram turned her head up and to the side to look at him.
"'F course." He confirmed, "But I don't think I need to oppose him'n that Emilia lady." He didn't want to have to do anything outwardly hostile that could get anyone hurt, so he wanted to avoid taking any direct action.
"You're assuming Emilia-sama has no chance?" Ram asked him.
"Mhm." His curt response didn't surprise her. Had it not been Subaru trying to get Emilia to clear the trials Ram would have shared the demi-human's opinion. But from all the things she'd seen Subaru accomplish she had faith in him.
The two walked in silence for a moment before she spoke. "You said you had other questions Garf. Don't tell me you've forgotten them all."
"Haha. You think my amazin' self would forget somethin' when talkin' to you?" Garfiel didn't grow embarrassed in the slightest at his own words.
"Ugh," Ram grunted in disgust, "You still think I'll return that crush don't you?" She spoke the words with a mix of respect and disapproval. Respect for his persistence, but disapproval because she wanted Garfiel to grow up and focus on other things.
"I'm not givin' up," He declared with a defiant look.
"Haaa…" She sighed, "How many times do I have to tell you that you're not my type at all."
"Hey 'm not gonna change my amazin' self just to match your type," He asserted and then met her with another question, "And what is your type anyway? Dudes who dress fancy?"
Ram's eyes turned away from him for a second. "You really are just an idiot."
"Now I can't tell 'f that means I got it right or not." Garfiel let out a soft laugh at Ram's constant antics.
"What was your next question, Garf?" She rushed to change the topic.
"Can you tell me how dangerous to Sanctuary all the new people 'r?" He asked.
"Hm," She held her chin in her right hand, "Emilia-sama wouldn't do anything to anyone that hasn't actively tried to kill her or her friends. So I'd say you have very little to worry about with her."
"The merchant?" He wanted to keep the conversation on track right now so he brought up the next person immediately.
"He's someone I haven't known for very long, but from everything I've gathered he seems like he wouldn't try and do anything to the people here, but keep an eye on him. It's what I've been doing these past couple days."
"Has he done anything odd?" He needed to be thorough about this.
"Not that I've seen." She held back the bizarre ability to talk to animals he'd displayed. Because, giving too much information to someone as young as Garfiel might work against her and Subaru, but she couldn't give him no information, so she left him with that warning.
"And what about that Subaru guy?" He'd saved the one he wanted to know about most for last, that way Ram wouldn't think he desperately wanted to know about him. There was a small possibility she was being manipulated by him so Garfiel didn't want to give her, and by extension him, too much information.
"He isn't a threat to the Sanctuary." Her words were filled to the brim with confidence.
"How can you be so sure?" Garfiel questioned attempting to see if she was being manipulated, or forced to say anything. The possibility of either sounded outlandish, but the things he'd seen yesterday. The fondness she'd looked at him with. It wouldn't let him be calm.
Ram stopped walking, and he followed suit. "Follow me, Garf," She spoke those words, then changed direction and walked toward where the spire of a church reached above the trees in the distance.
They were both silent as they moved toward the church. Ram because she wanted to wait until they reached their destination to speak her mind, and Garfiel because he wanted to hear what she had to say.
It took them nearly fifteen minutes to reach the chapel at a walking pace, but when they finally did so, Ram spoke the words in her mind.
"Do you know who is in this building, Garf?" She questioned him.
"Course," He responded. The boy was impatient and wanted her to get to the point of what she was going to say.
"Yes, half of the people of Arlam Village. And do you want to know what they think of Barusu?"
"Hm?" He crossed his arms, unsure of where she was going.
"They respect him, and allow him to stay in their village whenever he wants, free of any charge." Ram's own respect was clear in her voice.
"He manipulated them, didn't he? Well thanks for the warnin'." Garfiel dismissed her words and pushed his own immature assumption into their place.
"You are an idiotic child, Garfiel Tinzel." Ram suddenly responded with a voice full of condemnation; however, unlike other insults, her words were honest now.
"Ram…?" His eyes widened at the speed of her response, and her use of his full name.
"The reason why they respect him is because he ran into a forest full of mabeasts to save the village's children from curses. At the time, Barusu couldn't even kill a single one of the beasts, but he ran into the forest anyway." Ram smiled as she thought upon his actions that day.
"That isn't so hard," Garfiel held onto his assumption tightly.
"Do you know who Crusch Karsten is?" Ram noticed Garfiel's reluctance to change his mind, so she switched to a new tactic.
"Yes," Garfiel crossed his arms, and noticed a footprint at his feet. It wasn't his own. His eyes searched around to find that more were around him, and they made a trail away from the church, but he was unable to really focus on them as Ram was still talking.
"Crusch Karsten respects Barusu." Her tone was full of honesty, so no matter how much his mind rejected those words, He knew she was being truthful. To continue holding onto his assumption, his mind latched onto something else.
He must have manipulated the candidate, no way someone that weak can gain a duchesses respect.
"What could he've done to earn that?" He shouted at her. Her red eyes jumped back to the church and she started to walk along the path while gesturing for Garfiel to follow her.
She wanted for them to get away from the building so as to not wake the people inside. He realized it was probably the right idea, and followed angrily.
Once they got a few meters away he expected an answer to his question, but Ram noticed the same footprints he had before that could happen.
"Who made those?" She asked him, instead of answering.
Thanks to her words Garfiel was able to refocus on the prints. "Shit, I dunno."
"I'll answer your question in a second," He didn't raise any protest to that, protecting the Sanctuary came first.
Did a witch cultist sneak in among the villagers? She wondered to herself as she raised her face to the sky and activated her Clairvoyance.
She searched among the many animals of the forest for a glimpse at the path the person was taking. They weren't being subtle so it was easy enough to jump from animal to animal following the path of their footprints.
Near the end of that path, she saw where the trail ended. It was directly outside of the trial room. Recognition sparked in her as she flicked into the eyes of the print's owner.
"Bar-" She held her voice, so as to not alarm Garfiel too much. He distrusted Subaru already, and this would only add to that if she blurted his name out.
"What'd ya find?" Garfiel asked, his voice reminiscent of cold steel.
"Not much, just something we should go keep an eye on. It seems someone is only out for a walk." She dismissed most of his worries.
"We should still go an' make sure they aren't up to anythin'," The maid didn't protest his words, as there would have been no way for her to do it and not send him into a suspicious fit of anger.
"Follow me, and I'll tell you if they make any suspicious moves." She led him toward the castle of dreams with questions dancing in her mind.
Why are you awake, Barusu? You've never cared about nightmares enough to do something like this.
And why are you at the Witch of Greed's tomb?
Around half an hour earlier Subaru was engrossed in sleep. His face was entirely still, as if not a thing was passing through his mind. There were no odd whispers, no twitches of his body, nothing.
Natsuki Subaru was asleep, and seemed to not be having any dreams at all.
Anywho made that assumption would have been mistaken.
"Well that took longer than I wanted, welcome back." A smile stretched across her face. The woman sipped at a cup of tea. The purple highlights running through her white hair had grown more numerous. And the butterfly resting in her hair had started to turn from vibrant purple to deep black.
"Although not longer than anticipated." The part of their sleeping mind that the woman had pulled into this dream was sat across from her at a table.
Their hand, if they could even be called a thing, or if they could even have anything truly resembling a hand, reached out for a small cup of tea that lay on a saucer before them.
"Such a small piece of your mind. Ahh the days when I could bring you here in your entirety, I miss those days." Her smile didn't disappear, nor did it fade in the slightest, as she spoke to them.
"But it is not too much of a loss, what I lost can be regained in full. And let's be honest, who has ever said rekindling love wouldn't require a little sacrifice." Her eyes examined them, and a mix of satisfaction and anticipation burned there.
The small presence of whatever they were drank some of the tea. It was a natural response, a pattern ingrained into whoever they were over billions of tea parties.
"I do apologize, but that tea no longer has the effects it once did, but soon it will." She said to them as she took a sip of her own tea. Maybe if they were more real, more defined, they could ask her what she meant.
"It is still good tea though, even in its current state. It has a few effects which will be interesting to watch. Sometimes I suppose it is beneficial that you only retain little of this, isn't it?" The woman smiled as she felt her tea reach the center of the fragment before her.
They tilted their head, if they even had one, they weren't sure. At her question, and the new sensation within their chest, and the fact that their mind began to take on definition.
He, he supposed he was defined enough for more than being called they, drank more of the tea. Something within him called for it, but it didn't seem habitual, this was new. He downed all of the tea within a few seconds.
The woman watched him with a satisfied smile. She didn't give him any more tea. "So love can be rekindled, oh how incredible it will be once you step into a witch's tea party."
He reached out his hand to the woman, as if demanding more. When she refused to give him some his senses started to scan the area.
"Ah. I wish you were more definite so I could know what you truly sought." A blush spread across the woman's face. Her curiosity had grown greater than it had in eons, and something else grew alight in her chest. "You can fulfill my curiosity once more." She forced herself to return to calm, oh how difficult it was.
"I ask that you remember one thing from this meeting. Join me in a Witch's tea party, we have much to discuss." The words lodged into the mind before her. She didn't know how well it would translate upon him waking up, but the idea would be there whispering into his mind.
He continued searching for something, anything, to fulfill him. Maybe if there was more of him he'd know what he desired, but right now he only knew that he wanted.
"Mmh, you really are so good at fulfilling my curiosity, Natsuki Subaru." The woman couldn't contain her excitement for much longer. But she had to keep calm lest the spirit overtake her and force the small portion of Subaru's mind away from her.
Natsuki Subaru? The thought passed through him. Is that what he sought? He wasn't sure, but it sounded appropriate. His eyes glimpsed his fingers. Then, he raised them up to his mouth and started to chew.
His own curiosity burned along with that desire in his chest. A drop of his blood traveled down his throat. Satisfaction burned within him, along with an incredible want, no a need.
His jaws closed over his index finger, bones crunching and blood staining his teeth as he did so. Then he swallowed it without hesitation.
The fresh blood pouring down his throat, and the feeling of his finger falling into his stomach only spurred him on.
He repeated the process with his middle finger, then his ring, his pinky, and his thumb.
With each crunch of bones and outpouring of blood his need grew and grew. Natsuki Subaru. Natsuki Subaru. It sounded familiar. Whatever it was he needed it.
He chewed down his arm, ignoring the clothes that were still wrapped around it. The fabric of his suit was only an afterthought in comparison to the emptiness that felt like it was burning a hole in his stomach.
His teeth gnashed through his skin, muscles, blood, and bones. Even as each tooth shattered, he continued to chew, it was just some extra to satisfy that need.
But every single time he tore into his skin, his gums spewed blood like a squeezed sponge his desire only increased. It didn't go away, it was never satisfied, and it could never be satisfied.
"You want but you can never be satisfied, you seek to consume endlessly. Daphne would be proud of your Gluttony, Natsuki Subaru." The woman whispered, and watched him attempt to chew away at his arm without his teeth.
After a few moments she spoke again, "I hate to inform you of this, but it seems we're being interrupted. I only ask that you remember my request for you to join me in a tea party." She smiled before continuing, "And then we can see how this manifests together. Sloth was disappointing last time, but this… this has potential."
The woman touched her hand to his forehead, and shoved him from the dream.
"Ha, ha, ha." Subaru panted as his eyes snapped open. Words scratched at his mind, but all he could remember was the idea of a Witch's tea party.
He sat up in his cloth bed, and looked around at all the villagers gathered in the church. He shifted his gaze to the sleeping Otto while he rubbed his right arm. It took him a second to notice himself massaging his arm.
Hm? Why is that happening? Subaru pulled his hand away from his limb, then when the same compulsion didn't reemerge he shrugged, and forgot about it.
With that, he laid back down in his bed and tried to sleep. Unfortunately, no matter how much he attempted to force his mind into sleep, he couldn't. Subaru wasn't unsettled by something like this happening, it normally occurred when his mind still felt there was something that needed to be done.
The thing that worried him was he had no idea what was keeping him awake. He felt he should have remembered it. Like someone had explained it to him not all that long ago, but for the life of him, it never came into his mind.
He attempted to sleep, but once more he failed. This isn't going to work. He knew that repeating the same thing over and over again in hope of the same result was insane, so he needed to change his tactic.
He quietly stood up and stepped outside of the church. My mind is caught on something, but I can't think of it. "This probably won't work."
Subaru had remembered some of Echidna's teachings, and she'd told him it was better to let his body and mind do the work without him sometimes. So he closed his eyes and chose a random direction to walk in.
"Join me...tea party…" The words slammed into him, as he recalled something. He didn't know who'd spoken those words, and right before he could figure it out they slipped away.
But the idea wasn't gone, so he continued on in the direction of the castle of dreams.
Except as he did so something else began to consume his mind.
"First you must face your past."
"Behold the unthinkable present."
"Face the disaster yet to come."
Images of the three trials filled his mind, and fear wormed its way into his chest.
"I'm sorry, Emilia," He'd pushed her to take the trials instead of himself because he was afraid of them. He knew that deep down he was uncertain as to whether she could pass them, but he'd still pushed her into them anyway.
His footsteps were heavy and laden with guilt as he continued on toward the tomb. He didn't care for how suspicious this might look to Garfiel.
Subaru's mind shut down as he robotically walked toward Echidna's tomb. The forest sounds around him brought him back to one of his loops in the Sanctuary.
"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST PASS THE DAMN TRIALS!" He winced as his own voice screamed out in his mind. It was somewhere around his thousandth loop. He remembered Emilia's face as she heard his words.
He pushed it away before the image of her tears could stay for any longer.
Not too many loops after that he'd given up on trying to get Emilia to clear the trials.
A few minutes later, Subaru had to squint as he stepped out of the tree shade and into a clearing. The moon's soft light was bright to his eyes. After all, he'd been walking in complete darkness, it hadn't been a problem as he knew how to navigate without his eyes. He couldn't quite remember whether that was because he'd lost his eyes enough times he'd figured it out, or because he was old enough to have figured it out naturally.
In the end, it didn't really matter, at least not before the massive stone structure in front of him. He stood stock-still looking up at it.
The landscape turned to purple glass for a moment, and his knees gave out. By the time his mind returned to reality he was sat on the ground. Absently he pulled his knees into his chest, and stared up at the mausoleum with vacant eyes.
It wasn't long before he started to think once more. I'm a hypocrite. I yelled and hit Rem for not standing up, but what is it I'm doing?
"Tell me that you won't continue on. Tell me that you'll give up because of one mistake." His voice had been so angry when he'd leveled those words at Rem.
"I can't even follow my own words. I'm such a hypocrite." He knew that even the words he was saying right now went against what he had told Rem, but he didn't care. He couldn't bring himself to.
"What could you accomplish by giving up?" His own voice called into his mind.
"Nothing, I'm sorry." He rocked back and forth as he stared up at the Witch's tomb.
His mind didn't stop levying his words against him, but he didn't want it to stop. So he tortured himself with his own voice and condemned himself for hypocrisy all the while.
Ram and Garfiel stalked through the forest of Kremaldy. Both sure of their footing, as Ram could see exactly where she was going using Clairvoyance, and Garfiel had spent years living here.
It didn't take them very long to arrive at the edge of the clearing where the tomb was located. Garfiel touched his hand to the scar on his forehead, and crouched in the underbrush at the edge of the trees. Ram followed suit.
"That's that Subaru guy." Garfiel quickly identified Subaru and struggled to keep himself in place. Thankfully he was able to see that Subaru was only sitting outside the tomb, and it wasn't glowing either. He also couldn't tell what might happen if he did take action here. How thoroughly would Subaru resist, and would he actually be able to subdue the black-haired boy without killing him?
The question held the blonde-haired boy in place. "That ain't normal, Ram. It's my job to keep the Sanctuary safe, so will he resist if I go out and stop him."
This will show her he shouldn't be respected. Acting all suspicious and manipulative. It looks like he's fooled Ram. I need to save her.
"He isn't here to hurt the Sanctuary, Garf." Ram didn't want to answer his second question as the answer, being Subaru probably wouldn't resist, would cause Garfiel to subdue him.
"How can you be so sure?" Garfiel whispered with a voice full of distrust, "What's he threatanin' y'with? Does he have somethin' on Roswaal, or somethin' on Rem?"
"Garfiel Tinzel, stop being an idiot. I know that's impossible, but you need to listen for once," Ram's voice broke him from his suspicion for a brief moment. "Back at the church, you asked me what he'd done to earn the respect of Crusch Karsten."
Garfiel nodded, too stunned by her second use of his full name today to speak, so Ram continued, "Barusu, somehow, managed to orchestrate the subjugation of the White Whale and the Sin Archbishop of Gluttony within the same day," A warm smile grew on her face as she continued, "I couldn't even hope to explain how he managed it, he's such an idiot I can't believe it. His work ethic is so terrible it makes me want to punch him, and his choice of clothes just scream I have no idea what I'm doing."
Garfiel heard every single one of Ram's insults, and he knew that everything she'd just said was honest, at least in its own Ram-like way.
A sad smile grew on Garfiel's face. "So your type really is dudes who dress fancy ain't it?" He couldn't help the short chuckle that emerged from his throat at Ram's expression when she heard it. It was an odd mix of embarrassment, pride, and anger.
"He isn't manipulating you or anyone else, is he?" Garfiel rubbed his scar again so he wouldn't get angry in this situation. He'd been able to figure out by now anger would be the wrong choice.
"You think he'd be smart enough to manage that?"
"I mean, you said he killed the White Whale and'n Archbishop in the same day." Garfiel felt a sense of awe seeing the man who'd brought down a beast like that only on the other side of a clearing. He'd never seen it of course but he'd read about it many times.
"Like I said, it was a complete fluke Garf. He won't be threatening Sanctuary's residents though." Her voice became serious for the second part.
Before Garfiel could respond he saw Subaru begin to rock back and forth. "Dammit Barusu, always needing my help."
Damn looks like he's won Ram's heart here, but that doesn't mean I'm going to give up so easily. Even with his thoughts Garfiel didn't try and stop Ram from helping him.
"You know I'm not givin' up, Ram." He said as he stood up alongside the maid.
"You may be an idiot Garf, but you're a determined idiot I'll give you that." Ram left him with a single compliment and walked out of the trees and toward Subaru.
Garfiel was smart enough to know when he wasn't needed, and plus, he still had to keep watch of the rest of Sanctuary.
If my competition is someone who can orchestrate the death of a great mabeast and Archbishop in a day then I'm going to need to up my game to impress Ram. I'll become the best shield that Sanctuary has ever seen. With that in mind, Garfiel decided he should get some fighting practice done in the morning.
"Better watch yerself, Natsuki Subaru." He let out a confident laugh as he walked away from the tomb.
Subaru let tears fall from his eyes, and a condemnation of himself fall from his throat. "I'm a hypocrite. I can't even follow my own advice. I pretended to be all high and knowing then I can't even stand up from one mistake."
He would have laughed had he not taken Echidna's hand. A tortured laugh at his own terror, his own stupidity, and his own hypocrisy would have emanated from his throat, but now all that came from him were tears of guilt.
The footsteps that rang out behind him were nothing in comparison to the harrowing words of his own voice.
"Giving up is not how you remove burdens!" For once he protested against his own words.
I know. I know. But I'm not trying to remove their burdens. I'm just cowering in guilt and fear.
His face twisted in on itself. Anguish shoving into his heart. And because of that, he was completely unprepared for the hand that landed on his shoulder.
"Barusu, are you enough of an idiot to think you don't need sleep?" Ram insulted him with a mix of humor and guilt in her eyes.
"No, it's just that I couldn't sleep." He responded with a teary voice.
Ram sat down next to him before responding, "Why couldn't you?"
"I don't honestly know, but…" His voice ground to a halt.
Ram, instead of speaking further, placed her hand on his back to make him feel more comfortable.
"Maybe it's because I'm afraid, and I feel guilty for lying to Emilia." He didn't try to stop the words that came from his mouth. He'd decided long ago, in a forest similar to this one, that he would tell others of the burdens he was carrying. He'd chosen honesty all that time ago.
Subaru still didn't know whether it was a good or bad thing, but he couldn't ignore the fact that he needed it.
"What are you afraid of, Barusu? Normally you're too stupid to be afraid of anything." Ram insulted him with a fond tone.
"Emilia isn't the only one who can attempt the trials." Ram's eyes widened at his words, and she paused for a moment to formulate her response.
"That's why you lied to Emilia-sama isn't it. You were too afraid to face the trials yourself, so you asked Emilia-sama to do it, even though you weren't sure if she could." It wasn't very hard for Ram to grasp why Subaru had done it.
Subaru couldn't say anything, so he only nodded in response. "You made a terrible mistake, Barusu. You hurt Emilia-sama, and the fact that you were afraid has nothing to do with it, you lying to her is the problem."
He didn't reject her condemnations. They were correct, and in his eyes less than he should have received.
Ram didn't condemn him any further however, instead, she stood up and held out her hand to him.
"Ram?"
"Get up. Stop moping on the floor because of one mistake. Get up, and fix it."
"Now get up off the floor," His own words called out to him.
But I fell. I wasn't strong enough to move forward. I'm just a hypocrite who throws out his own words.
Ram smiled down at him, "It's only one mistake, Barusu, and you'll have so many more chances to fix it in the future, although you'll still make a mistake every breath just who you are. But anyway you can move past, and learn from, one this grievous."
"We'll be there the whole time, and if you stumble, we can catch you." New words came into his mind. Except they weren't new, they were his own.
I forgot, just because I slip, doesn't mean someone can't help me. Relief and resolve rushed back into Subaru's eyes, and he took Ram's hand with little hesitation.
He stood up with ease, thanks to Ram, and realized how heavy his eyelids were.
"I guess I do need a bit of sleep, don't I?" He answered Ram's earlier question with warm eyes.
"Mhm. And rejoice Barusu for I have deigned it appropriate for myself to help you." Ram grabbed onto his hand interlocking her own fingers with his, and started leading him away from Echidna's tomb.
Along the way, Subaru grew curious about something, and voiced his question to Ram, "So how the hell are we going to liberate Sanctuary?"
"Honestly Barusu, I have no idea, but we have time, you're leaving for the mansion three days after tonight, so that should be enough to come up with some form of plan. And Roswaal was being more honest than usual, so I doubt you'll find anything you need to worry about. That means you can come back and keep trying to come up with a plan if you've found nothing yet."
"Sounds good." That meant there was ample time to overcome Emilia's weaknesses or confront his own. "Also where are we going?"
Ram didn't have to think of a response as she'd already had one prepared for this exact question, "I don't know who the hell raised you Barusu, but you need to learn some patience." She shook her head in an attempt to appear dismayed.
"Well then, I suppose I can be patient," Subaru answered her question, and entered a state where time passed by with barely any notice from him.
A few minutes later he was shaken from this trance by Ram's voice, "We're here, stop spacing out, Barusu."
"Hm," He looked out upon the small cabin Ram had led him to. From the outside, he could tell it was empty, but he had no idea why she'd brought him to a random cabin. "Why are we here?"
"Because you are awful at sleeping, and I have found it in my incredible goodwill to help you sleep, so follow me." There was a smug smile, and a blush, on her face as she dragged Subaru by his hand into the cabin.
Subaru quickly noticed that it was only a single-room cabin. All he could see in the small amount of light offered by the moon was a table in the corner, and a large bed opposite the door. Ram yanked him off balance by pulling on his arm and picked him up so that he was slung over her shoulder. Exactly like she had been that morning when he'd done the same to her.
"What're you doing, Ram?" Subaru's head was tilted in confusion. He wasn't particularly surprised or embarrassed by what she was doing, and he didn't even notice the minor pain in his joints.
"Now you didn't think you would just be able to pick me up, and not have me do the same, did you?" Ram said nothing else as she threw him onto the bed and got into the covers next to him.
She rubbed her arm to ward off the leftover pain from the injuries she'd sustained against Ley. Even that small exertion had been enough to cause some significant pain, but the confusion on Subaru's face had been well worth it to her.
Subaru pulled himself under the covers and relaxed on his back. He didn't protest when Ram rested her head on his chest. "Now I swear if you can't sleep in this incredibly comfortable position then I think you're just the worst at sleeping."
Warmth grew in Subaru's expression, and regrettably, neither could see the slight blush on his cheeks. However, Ram could see his lips tilting upward. It was maybe something that could generously be called a hint of a smile.
Ram gave her own blush at the sight. "Good night, Barusu," She realized insulting him would grow boring if she did it too much in one day, and ignored the fact that she'd ran past the line of tiring out her insults long ago, so she decided it was best just to let her eyelids slip shut.
"Good night, Ram," Subaru let his own eyes drift closed, the dream of Echidna which had kept him awake completely lost effect on him, and he fell asleep without even having to force his mind into sleep's depths.
Rem continued to hold her eyes open against the tiredness that was pressing her mind. She'd been diligent in her job of keeping watch of Emilia, meaning she hadn't slept all that much throughout the night.
And now that the sun was beginning to rise on the horizon there was little chance for her to fall asleep until tonight. But she was fine with that, after all, she had to make sure Emilia was feeling alright when she woke up.
She was fine with the fact that neither Ram nor Subaru, had instructed her on how to make sure Emilia was alright. I won't disappoint them. Rem wanted to make sure Emilia was doing well, and she believed herself to be the best for the job. Maybe under normal circumstances, Subaru would have been better, but with the mistake he'd made yesterday she couldn't see him being too effective.
Maybe sister would be better for the job. She second-guessed her earlier conviction. Rem didn't know whether to trust in her sister's brilliance, or in her own closeness to Emilia.
It doesn't matter right now anyway. Sister isn't here, so I have to comfort Emilia when she wakes up. So the blue-haired maid waited for nearly another half an hour before the silver-haired girl stirred in her bed.
With watchful eyes, Rem made sure that no nightmares were befalling the girl. Multiple times throughout the night she'd held the half elf's hand to make sure she didn't suffer through any terrible dreams.
"Ahhh…" A soft whisper full of anguish rose from Emilia as her pale eyelids pulled back to reveal amethyst eyes. "Subaru, you liar," Rem's eyes fell to the floor, in her delirium Emilia had mistaken her for Subaru. Rem hated the fact that someone she'd come to consider a friend had been reduced to such a state.
She couldn't blame Subaru however, she'd noticed the tortured look in his eyes after Emilia exited the tomb. Rem let out a smile full of hope at the thought that he'd been able to notice his mistake, it meant he'd be able to fix it.
"Emilia-sama?" The maid's voice filled with concern as she whispered the name of the half-asleep girl.
"Rem-san?" Emilia responded. Her purple eyes started to grow more and more alert, until they snapped open, and started darting around the room. Rem stretched out her hands to hold the silver-haired girl who'd started to convulse in her bed.
"No it wasn't me, not me, not me. Mother For-" The girl's voice cut off and her body started returning to normal.
"Emilia-sama, are you alright?" Rem reached out her hand to hold onto Emilia's own.
"Rem…" Tears started to fall from Emilia's eyes, "Can you just call me Emilia, please?" Her eyes were desperate and she grabbed onto Rem's outstretched hand without hesitation.
"Of course, Emilia." Rem gave the girl a comforting smile, and held her hand as she let tears cloud her purple eyes and fall down her face.
After a few minutes of sobbing Emilia finally regained her composure. "Rem, the villagers are relying on me to pass these trials, aren't they?" A faint fire burned at the back of Emilia's eyes. "They're expecting me to pass, right?"
"Yes, Emilia," Rem nodded her head. "And Subaru-kun is as well."
Emilia's eyes filled with tears once more at her words, "No he isn't. It isn't his fault, but Subaru doesn't think I can pass the trials. He was just pretending to be my friend. He's a liar." The girl sobbed, "But it isn't his fault, everyone's expectations are in the wrong place, but I'm selfish enough to still want to try."
"You're wrong, Emilia," Rem's voice grew stern. And her hand tightened around Emilia's own.
"Rem?" The silver-haired girl's tears were interrupted.
"No one's expectations are in the wrong place. You can face your past," She forced her way through the ashen scent filling her nose, "I can see it in you, that you have the strength to do it." Even where I don't. Rem suppressed the voice at the back of her head, and ignored the smoldering in her ears.
"But what if I don't? Then it's still selfish to even try." Emilia defended her belief, although she wasn't very fervent in it.
"If you don't, then you can try again." Rem answered without having to think.
"But everyone is waiting for me, and that's selfish."
"Emilia, with everyone wanting you to pass and everyone expecting you to, and believing in you to pass, then is it really selfish to try." Rem smiled down at her and was challenged once more.
"But it's my past, and it's selfish to try when someone else could try."
"What's so wrong about wanting to face your past?" Rem couldn't force away the voice in her head any longer.
Hypocrite. A single word slipped into the maid's mind, but she wasn't deterred by it, as she could see that, thankfully, she didn't need to say anything more.
A determined look had spread across Emilia's face. "Thank you, Rem, I'll try again tonight."
Rem forced the smile to stay on her face, as her own memories rushed through her mind.
"It finally broke off."
Otto Suwen sat on a tree stump a minute long walk away from the church where he'd slept. He was here to make sure the ground dragons were taken care of and not cooped up strapped to a carriage the entire time, he was essentially taking them out for a walk.
The merchant had expected a nice calm walk, maybe a couple of insults from Patrasche, but nothing too out of the ordinary. Unfortunately, his bad luck shone through and he and the ground dragons had stumbled upon a certain blonde demi-human.
"So what're you doin' out here, Otto?" Garfiel looked at him with an analytical gaze that Otto normally only saw when another merchant was sizing him up for a deal they were about to make.
"Taking the dragons out for a walk." He refrained from mentioning his ulterior motive.
"Don't hide the truth," Patrasche chided from behind. "He'll be far more cooperative if you're straightforward."
"Do you want me to get beat up?" He whispered back in the ground dragon tongue.
"No, I want Garfiel to have a higher opinion of you so that he looks upon Subaru-sama more fondly." She answered.
Oh right, it would help Natsuki-san. With that thought in mind, he chose to trust the black ground dragon.
"Also I was out here scouting the forest in case things went sour and we had to flee the Sanctuary safely." Garfiel's eyes filled with suspicion at his words, but not for the reason Otto expected.
"You tryin' to get me to like you more?" He leaned in to wait for Otto's response.
The merchant looked back at the black ground dragon who only said, "Be straightforward."
"Admittedly, yes," Otto answered with a defiant look. If I can get him to like me more it would help Natsuki-san. The fear of looking Garfiel straight on faded as he thought of that.
"Haha, I'm not gonna kill ya." Garfiel relaxed when Otto's honesty came through.
"Just don't try to manipulate him, and be honest when he asks you things," Patrasche advised, and for the rest of Otto and Garfiel's conversation it worked relatively well.
"Anyway, you got any idea where that Subaru guy is, I've been lookin' for 'im." Nearing the end of their conversation Garfiel came upon what he'd really wanted to talk to Otto about.
That's right he wasn't there when I woke up. Otto closed his eyes to think, before letting out a general call to the insects of the forest.
With how many were out there it didn't take long for a couple to find him and relay the information back across the forest to him.
"Ah, he was somewhere near Emilia's cabin last time I checked." Otto altered the information to be in the past tense as to not reveal his Divine Protection.
"Aight, thanks, Otto." As far as the blonde boy knew Otto hadn't gone that far from the church for the entire morning. However, he was too focused on the task at hand and didn't question how Otto got that information.
"See ya, Garfiel," Otto waved to the young man, and once he was out of earshot the merchant let out a massive sigh of relief.
After taking a minute to calm down he continued his walking of the ground dragons.
He didn't notice the white-robed girl watching him from the trees. Her pink hair swayed in the wind as she took note of the boy.
"I will have to inform young Gar of this merchant's danger tonight." Ryuzu Shima whispered as she watched him go.
Subaru looked upon Emilia's cabin with a guilt-filled expression. He had little idea of what he should say in apology, and he didn't even know if there was anything he could say to make up for it. But he wouldn't be deterred, so his eyes were filled with resolve as he stepped up to the door of her cabin.
"Ey! Natsuki Subaru," Garfiel called out to him as he strode out of the forest.
Subaru met the boy's green eyes and saw the defiant challenge within them. He didn't attempt to analyze Garfiel as he had yesterday. His other mistakes seemed less real in the face of the one he'd made last night, so his mind was mostly empty as the blonde boy walked up to him.
"What do you need, Garfiel?" He asked the demi-human.
"I jus' want you to walk with me," Garfiel grabbed his shoulder and practically dragged Subaru away from Emilia's cabin and back onto the forest pathways.
An inquisitive gaze had entered Subaru's eyes. Garfiel paid little attention to it, he hadn't come here to convince or ask Subaru anything.
"I heard you killed a few things," Garfiel started the conversation.
"Hm?" Subaru had been expecting something about Sanctuary or the trials, "What do you mean?"
"I'm talkin' the White Whale and Gluttony." Garfiel stopped walking, and stepped in front of Subaru so that the two were standing face to face.
"I didn't personally kill them," Subaru corrected with a tone of confusion. Why is he bringing this up?
"But you did plan thr' subjugations," Subaru nodded at Garfiel's words.
Garfiel smiled with determination, "I'm gonna protect the Sanctuary and everyone here," He closed the distance and stepped right into Subaru's face, "So that I'm the one who wins Ram's heart."
Ah, so that's what it is. A look of determination entered Subaru's own eyes, "Well at the end of the day it's Ram's choice, but I'm not just going to let that happen." He accepted Garfiel's challenge with fiery eyes.
"So you do got some spirit in ya," Garfiel was unfazed by Subaru's response other than to let out a smile. "With all the information on the table," His voice grew serious and his expression drained away, "I'd say you ain't a threat to the Sanctuary, neither is that Emilia lady. I won't oppose you goin' forward."
"Thanks, I don't have any reason to hurt anyone here, but Roswaal is another story, watch out for him," Subaru warned the boy.
"That clown is not at all subtle about how fuckin' creepy he is, so I've already been doin' that." Garfiel stepped away from Subaru, but there was a glimmer of gratitude in his eyes for Subaru's warning, even though he'd already known to keep watch of Roswaal.
Taking advantage of the honesty already present in the conversation Subaru asked another question, "Will you get pissed if I leave the Sanctuary in a couple days to make sure he isn't doing anything to the mansion."
Garfiel's eyes grew angry for a second, "So you really are just naturally manipulative." He'd noticed how Subaru had taken advantage of the conversation. "Eh, I can't fault ya too much yer not using it to try anythin'."
The demi-human rubbed his scar to fight against his gut reaction and think about things more clearly. "I won't do anythin' about it, y've already killed a Sin Archbishop, so the Witch's Cult wouldn't help you out."
"Thanks, Garfiel." Subaru held out his hand to thank the blonde boy. Garfiel took it to symbolize something else.
"Let's not kill each other tryin' to impress Ram," He shook Subaru's hand without hesitation.
Subaru's lips tilted upward at the deal. That's one problem taken care of. Now I just have to speak with Emilia.
Subaru arrived back in the clearing where Emilia's cabin was located. He had parted ways with Garfiel, who'd said he wanted to do some training, and now he was searching for Emilia.
Although he still had no idea what he was going to say to her. He'd hoped to stand outside her cabin and have time to formulate an apology of some sort, but Emilia herself had thrown a wrench into his plans. She was sitting against the front wall of her cabin with a look of patience on her face.
"Subaru," Her voice sounded sad as she called out his name upon noticing him.
"Hey, Emilia," Subaru walked over and sat down next to her.
"I'll pass the trial tonight." After a few moments of silence, Emilia whispered those words.
"I…" Subaru didn't know what he should say in response.
"You don't have to apologize for anything Subaru." Emilia left him with that as stood up and set off for the church full of villagers.
Neither noticed as the other's face scrunched up in anguish.
You shouldn't have to worry about me anymore Subaru. I know you don't want to be worried, and I know that you'll pretend to be, for my sake. You're just a nice person. And now you won't have to believe in me. You only pretended to because it was the only option, but now I have other people who believe in me. And you won't have to deal with me.
Emilia wanted to tell Subaru that she didn't blame him, but the lump in her throat wouldn't let her form the words, so she kept walking.
Subaru tried to call out to Emilia, but he didn't have any idea what to say, and maybe there was nothing to say.
Emilia… It was the only word his mind could think to form, but he knew it wouldn't work, so his mouth stayed shut.
The two didn't see each other again until the sun had set upon the Sanctuary, and people gathered to watch Emilia attempt the trials once more.
Emilia stepped up to the group of people who'd gathered. Subaru, Rem, Ram, Otto, and Garfiel all stood side by side. Emilia only paid attention to Rem who gave her a reassuring smile.
A resolved expression painted Emilia's face as she stepped up to who she thought was the same black-robed woman as yesterday.
"So you've come to reattempt to trial?" The pink-haired woman asked.
"I have," Emilia nodded, her eyes glowing in the pale moonlight.
Even with the woman's mouth hidden behind her robe Emilia knew a smile had formed on the woman's lips.
"Then I wish you well," The young-looking girl bowed and let Emilia step past her and into the trial room.
Emilia did not hesitate in doing so. Her shoes clicked against the stone steps as she entered Echidna's tomb once more. She didn't know how she was going to pass the trial, but she knew she had to. Everyone was counting on her.
She let the familiar pale glow surround her while she readied herself for the past she was to face. Hopefully Echidna didn't mix up my past with that other Emilia's.
That sentiment flowed through her while she pulled open the door and stepped inside the room. Once her heel struck down in the center of the room her voice called out to her.
"First you must face your past."
Her consciousness faded as she fell into forgotten memories once more.
"Oh so you've returned? Are you going to flail around once more, that would be enjoyable." Echidna was monotone as she stared at Emilia. Disgust seeped into her eyes, but Emilia ignored it.
"I'm going to pass the trial," Emilia asserted with a smile on her face. "Now let's get to my real past. I know it might be easy to mistake me for that girl, she has the same name as me and looks the same." She continued to deny who the young girl with her name truly was.
"The Book of Wisdom does not make mistakes," Echidna uncrossed her arms and let them fall to her side, "And I'm tempted to declare this trial a failure for that line alone."
"Can you please take me to my past," Emilia spoke with a well-mannered voice, aside from the impatient emphasis she placed on the word my.
"You really are just disgusting," The white-haired woman raised her arms out to her side and forced the trial to begin.
Snow suddenly billowed out around them as the temperature dropped.
"Just die." The young Emilia yelled out.
"Echidna, take me to my real past, stop mistaking me for this girl." The current Emilia said.
"Just die."
Emilia ignored the silver-haired girl with her name. She had people on the outside expecting her success. She couldn't get bogged down in someone else's past.
"Show me my real past," She wouldn't let Echidna make this mistake. Not after what Rem had told her.
Rem was right. It isn't wrong to want to face your past. But this isn't my past.
Echidna stared at her with a mix of disgust and boredom. "You truly disgust me. If you were anyone else, well maybe there are two people I would give the same treatment, but alas, if you were someone other than them I would declare the result of this trial a failure on principle." She ignored the massive gusts of snow buffeting her as she spoke.
"Echidna, I'm sorry, but this isn't my past, so please take me to my real past." Emilia rejected everything around her that wasn't Echidna.
"I would declare this a failure, but then you would only be minorly unhappy, and you would try to bother me again. So I will show you other memories. Other parts of your past, just to watch you squirm as you try to reject those," The Witch of Greed smiled, "Although this will be more difficult and a little less fully formed as I will have to rely almost exclusively on the Book of- Oh why am I explaining this to you?"
Echidna let that question hang as she placed her hands on Emilia's temples. Before the silver-haired girl could notice anything the gusts of snow turned into gusts of sand.
"Echidna?" Emilia looked around to find the Witch of Greed standing behind her. "How is this my past?" The silver-haired girl searched around further and she noticed a man begin to take shape. In his arms, he was holding a small bundle.
She practically ran over to the man. Echidna followed along at a much slower pace, so Emilia reached the man far earlier.
When he walked up to her he paused, not because he'd noticed her, but because he was taking a look at the bundle in his arms. Wrapped within it was a baby. Emilia couldn't see the baby's eyes but she could clearly tell the girl had silver hair and pointed ears.
Sobs emanated from the man carrying her, and she saw him force a smile to spread across his face.
"Is this from when I was a baby, Echidna?"
"Yes, I really just wanted to watch you squirm in ignorance, and I think I've found the right time for it. You remember it in a tiny capacity so I can construct it." Her eyes glimmered as she saw Emilia tilt her head.
Emilia didn't take note of the massive shadow that was hanging over the man and baby.
"Is this how the trial is supposed to work?" She asked the Witch.
"Not at all, but you already failed, so," Echidna shrugged, "All I'm doing is entertaining your notion that what you saw wasn't your past, and gaining some entertainment of my own along the way. And I am incredibly curious to see how you will respond to this, so let's move onto the next memory, only a couple hours before this one."
Echidna snapped her fingers, and without any notice, they were inside and protected from the blinding sandstorm. Emilia's violet eyes scanned the walls around them. They were made up of a material she didn't recognize, and one edge of the room was curved like the outside of the structure was circular.
Once she was done looking at the building she looked at the people in the room. There were four of them. One was a baby which she realized must have been herself. She didn't really have any memories to disprove what she saw, so she just went along with what Echidna wanted. Who was probably just pretending she'd failed the trial.
The other people in the room were all adults. One was a man with long hair, and an odd circular cap atop his head. A small sense of nostalgia rose in Emilia's chest but it was gone before she took notice of it.
Opposite to him was a man sitting in a chair that seemed to be maximized for comfort. Stepping a little closer to get a better look Emilia could see why, out of four limbs that he should have had the man only had a single arm. His legs seemed to have been severed above the knee, and his other arm was gone from right above his elbow. In his remaining hand, his left, he held a small black box.
Emilia's heart twisted at the man's state. "Is he alright, Echidna?" She knew it was an incredibly faint hope. She'd been stuck in Elior Forest for at least a century. But what if he did everything Puck says I should do?
"He could have eaten really healthy, right?" She asked, relying on her naivete.
"He is long dead," Echidna's voice became robotic as she spoke. Either she didn't care or she had known the man and was hiding any sadness about his death she might have felt.
Emilia wasn't surprised about the woman's words, but she was still saddened by them. With those still melancholic eyes, she turned her focus upon the final person in the room.
She was another adult, a woman this time instead of a man. She was clad in shorts, a small amount of cloth which barely covered her chest, and a cape. Her clothes were colored in a pattern of orange and black. A fake smile covered her face.
As she observed the group in full Emilia could feel the somber atmosphere that surrounded them. It was then that she realized time wasn't paused. The four were all breathing, but silence had been reigning over them for the entire time Emilia had been analyzing them.
The tension was finally broken by the man with only his left arm. He shattered it by extending his arm and offering the black box to the man opposite him. Instead of outright accepting the box the man shied away from it.
"Take it, a man who will be dead in a few hours doesn't have any use for it." Tears started to fall from the eyes of the woman behind the disabled man.
"No, there has to be another way," His resistance was half-hearted at best, as if he knew he was going to obey the disabled man, but just couldn't bring himself to yet.
"Take the box," The disabled man spoke with an authoritative tone. A look of nostalgia and regret filled the other man's eyes.
"There has to be another way I know you've already come this far, but you don't need to give them all up. We can find another way for you to live, F-"
"PETELGUESE!" The disabled man snapped, "Take the damned Witch Factor."
Petelguese reluctantly accepted it, and listened diligently to the man's next order, "Keep it safe until Satella can re-summon Natsuki Subaru."
Emilia's breath caught at the two names the man had just said, "No," She started to recoil away from the conversation, "What does he mean by that, Subaru isn't involved with her."
"This is so interesting to watch," Emilia tried to ignore the enjoyment she heard in Echidna's voice.
"I understand, Flugel-sama." Petelguese bowed his head to the disabled man.
"Now take Emilia to Elior Forest. Once you get there, leave her, and return to the forest every once in a while to make sure the seal is okay, but don't gaze upon Emilia. A few mistaken glances early on will be alright, my Authority of Pride should keep Pandora's ability to look through your spiritual eyes at bay for a couple centuries. But it'll get dicier as time stretches out." The man who'd been called Flugel explained with a bored expression.
"Although most of the Authority was focused on Emilia to keep her from being influenced, but I fear there will be cracks that it won't cover, and those will get wider as time goes by."
"Thank you, Flugel-sama, and what should I do if Pandora breaks your plan and gets either of the keys to open the seal?" Petelguese asked.
"Take the Witch Factor and run. Without all of the Factors it won't really matter that she has the seal open. She won't be able to go any further in her plan until she has all of them." Flugel finished speaking and burst out into a fit of coughs.
"So prioritize the Witch Factor over Emilia-sama and the Elior Forest?" Flugel nodded to Petelguese's question.
"It probably isn't very virtuous… but I don't care about taking the virtuous choice, not after what Satella did. Not after everyone fucked everything up on that day." Flugel explained his reasoning.
"Don't worry Flugel-sama, I have no issues with the order," Petelguese whispered, much to Flugel's surprise, but he had no time to focus on it.
"I didn't do anything wrong did I master?" The woman finally spoke. Her voice was loud and jubilant, but behind it hid a frailty Emilia couldn't ignore. The silver-haired half-elf tried to follow the conversation to the best of her ability but she could barely understand what they were saying. And with the man's words about Satella and Subaru, she didn't entirely want to listen to it anyway.
"Of course not, Shaula." Flugel soothed the woman's worries.
"That day truly did lead us all down a sinful path, didn't it?" Petelguese's voice was stretched as if he was about to cry for all the atrocities he and the others had committed.
Both men seemed to zone off at the words he'd spoken. "Honestly a couple of them never really fazed me anyway, Sekhmet had it coming." Flugel tried to focus on her and not any of the others.
"In some capacity they all did, didn't they?" Petelguese's voice sounded tired.
"That won't make the image of Typhon trying not to drown disappear from mine or Farsale's mind." Flugel seemed to not know where he stood on the issue. Neither did Petelguese. They were just too tired to stick to a position.
Shaula didn't comment on anything, and kept the memories of watching her mother starve to death to herself.
"I wish we could have found a way to work with Pandora," Petelguese's eyes touched the floor. "She's hurting so much, she's died so many times she no longer even cares when it happens."
Flugel nodded, "She was so radiant back in those days, strong, she still is, she'll hold even against all the pain, as she strives for her twisted goal." His voice rang out in Emilia's ears, and there was so much sadness contained within it.
"Is she even using the Authority of Vainglory to bring herself back?" Shaula butted into the conversation. Her normal bubbly personality melted away by all they'd faced in the last few years.
"No, she isn't," Flugel responded with certainty lacing his words.
"How do you know?" Shaula responded.
Flugel looked upon the box in his hand, "Od Laguna informed me of it. Every time Pandora dies the Authorities' influence is weak enough that it could stop her from reviving if it so desired."
Petelguese's hands balled into fists, "Talk to it again, tell it that even if it loves her it has to recognize her threat and stop her," Guilt covered his face, but something in him, maybe a memory, wouldn't let him be deterred.
"Flugel-sama, let me talk to it, and I can explain that it needs to stop her, and to cast aside its childish love for her!" The once gentle spirit shouted at his master.
"I've spoken to it hundreds of times since then, nothing we do will work, we can't fight the world itself, Natsuki Subaru learned that the hard way, shoved all the way back to Japan with none of his memories and no way for us to summon him back. Granted there were other factors in play there, but," Flugel shrugged his shoulders, accepting of the reality they'd been forced into, "Nothing to be done about it now."
"The last day Pandora and Od Laguna worked together," Petelguese shuddered at the thought of it, and a few tears rolled down his face.
Emilia's lips struggled to work; she had no idea how to respond to this knowledge. "Subaru, Subaru, Subaru...Why are they talking about Subaru like that? He wasn't here, this is too long ago, Subaru isn't that much of a liar, is he?" Her lips finally produced sound.
Echidna's brown eyes flicked to Emilia and a small giggle escaped her throat. The silver-haired half-elf couldn't shake how much it sounded like a sob.
The group had remained in silence with only a few noises from the baby Emilia.
"I'm starting to think Reid may have had the right idea with all the hedonism," Flugel sighed as he broke the silence, "Eh it doesn't matter anymore, I'll be dead in a few hours. Next time we fight the Witch of Envy remind me not to try and use six Authorities to their full potential all at once."
His voice started to drift away, losing its strength, and with a final motion of his remaining hand, he beckoned Petelguese over and whispered in his ears. "Find that morality of yours again Petelguese, I know it's a tall order, but I order you to find hope again, and my final order… when you find that hope, hold onto it for me, would you...?" He trailed off and his eyes slipped closed. Shaula started to weep. Petelguese did the same as he picked up Emilia, and pried the black box out of Flugel's hand.
"You said I should only cry tears of joy, but it seems I've disappointed you once more. And I'm sorry Flugel-sama, but if you want me to reclaim my old hope then don't think I'll be able to put the Witch Factor above Emilia-sama."
"Master already knew that," Shaula whispered to him in between sobs.
Petelguese looked over at her and set Emilia down for a moment to wrap the scorpion-haired girl into a hug.
"We probably won't see each other again, so goodbye, Shaula." Petelguese didn't try to stop the tears that flowed down his face.
"It's fine Guese, master is just going away for a little while. I can wait for him. I can wait as long as it takes."
Petelguese didn't know what to say to her, so he walked toward the door, but stopped when a cough came from the dying Sage's lips.
"Both of you…" His voice was shaky, but there was still steel in it, borne of all the pain of the age of Witches, "Remember your names, please remember them, and hold onto the memory of the man who bestowed them upon you, when he returns help him, he's going to need you, but keep those names in mind, please, it would make him happy, and Lord knows, he never was able to get any in this life… Oh, hi Subaru…" The man's delirium took over and he began to hallucinate, "Don't worry I told them to remember the stars, because maybe then you'll shut the fuck up about them…" He waited to speak, as if he was listening to someone else, "Yeah you always were such a fucking nerd…."
The man's delirium lent him a smile and showed the innocence that had been trampled upon when he'd come to this world. He fell asleep and for once had a good dream, it would be his last.
An air of finality stretched across the room and Shaula started to sink into denial, while Petelguese sought to follow the man's final orders.
"Why did you show me this Echidna? Why did you make this up? Subaru couldn't be here," Emilia eventually said to her.
"Because I wanted to. Now, will you go back to Elior Forest where you throw a temper tantrum and freeze the place?" Echidna pushed away the slight amount of sadness in her voice, and asked Emilia to return to her real trial.
Emilia shook her head, "No that's not my past. It wasn't me. And neither is this, Subaru couldn't be here," She forced her mind to ignore the hesitation in her voice.
"Then I declare this trial a fail-"
"Alright! I'll go back," Emilia had so many people expecting things from her, so she couldn't selfishly reject Echidna.
"Well then," Echidna snapped her fingers, and wind rushed into Emilia's ears and caused her hair to flare out.
"Just die," The billowing snow surrounded them once more.
A part of Emilia's mind accepted the trial before her, but the other part rejected it wholeheartedly. She tried to choose the part that accepted it, but the other side of her mind had too much influence.
Both sides of her fought against one another.
"It's real. I accept this Echidna." The words suddenly burst from her mind as she was able to push them through, but the trembling in her body hadn't eased up at all.
"You're lying, now get out of my sight." Echidna had gotten her enjoyment out of Emilia, now she just wanted her gone so she didn't throw up. If the Witch of Greed really was perfectly impartial she would have ended the trial long ago, but she'd wanted to get everything she could out of the girl.
"Wait Echidna I accepted it, right?" Desperation filled her eyes. I did everything right. I succeeded and I passed the trial. I passed. I passed. But…
"I passed, I passed, I passed," She repeated that same phrase over and over again as Echidna shoved her from the dream world and back into reality.
Subaru watched as Emilia stepped from the trial room. Her expression seemed broken, and her eyes were dancing around wildly.
"No I passed, I passed, I passed. I did everything right. It isn't my fault. I passed I passed." Emilia whispered almost madly as Rem ran over and wrapped her into a hug.
Subaru followed her to make sure Emilia was alright. He didn't question the concern in his own heart, it was easy to tell it was genuine.
"Is she alright?" He asked Rem.
"Yes I passed, I beat the trial. I accepted my past. I didn't do anything wrong," She rambled in response to him, not recognizing it had been a question meant for Rem.
"I don't know Subaru-kun, there are no physical injuries." Ram, Garfiel, and Otto all walked up behind Subaru.
"You guys all believe me, right?" Tears filled Emilia's eyes, "I passed. I passed. I did everything right, why didn't she accept it. I did everything right. It was all right. I accepted my past. You all believe me, please. You have to. I passed. I passed. I PASSED!" Her ragged voice screamed out
However, no more screams came out. That noise was replaced by the sound of her teeth chattering. Her body shook as she shivered.
"Su-Su-Subaru, why did Flugel talk about Satella summoning you?" Her voice completely changed the atmosphere with only a few words.
Subaru's eyes went wide. "Who the hell is Flugel?" Was all he said, he didn't raise any protests or questions to the rest of her words, which elicited an outpouring of suspicion from Otto and Garfiel.
"Natsuki-san what is she talking about?" The merchant asked.
"Subaru," Emilia's voice rang out again, and all eyes turned back to her instead of him. Otto and Garfiel abandoned most of their suspicion at the broken look in Emilia's eyes. It was quite possible Emilia had heavily misinterpreted what she'd seen and was just rambling.
"What is it, Emilia?" He ignored everyone else's gazes that had shifted away from him.
"I passed, right, please tell me I passed."
Subaru tried to answer her but his voice caught at the lump which had formed in his throat.
"Emilia…" Only her name slipped out.
"Did I do good, Rem? I did good right?" His eyes shot wide at her words, and he recoiled away from her.
"Not again, not again." Unconsciously his legs started to carry him away from the silver-haired girl.
Thousands of memories burned within his mind, and Emilia's hair started to shimmer. One second it was normal, then the next it was short, and vice versa.
"No, no, no." Subaru tripped and dropped onto his backside. His mind didn't even register any pain whatsoever. He also didn't notice Ram walking toward him.
"Barusu, are you alright?" Her insults disappeared completely as her concern was placed on full display.
Emilia stopped speaking as her eyes slipped closed. "No," Was all he said to Ram.
Please not again. He started to push his tongue in between his teeth before the rational part of his mind forced him into sleep.
Subaru woke to his arms wrapped around Ram, and his head resting on her chest. He'd practically used her as a pillow, noticing this he was surprised Ram hadn't thrown him off of her yet.
"Are you awake, Barusu?" She whispered to him, and he nodded in response.
"Good now get off me," She rolled him off of her and onto the other side of the bed. "You need to lose some weight, Barusu."
"You need to get better insults," He clapped back, earning a relieved expression from Ram.
"Heh, me needing better insults. There are so many things wrong with that statement Barusu. First I do not need better insults, as anything that comes out of my mouth is already the absolute greatest it can be. And I do not insult you," A smug and warm smile grew on her face, "I merely state the truth."
"You never give up do you?" Subaru asked with his normal neutral expression.
"Of course not. Resolve is an admirable trait, and one of my best features," The smugness drained from her smile leaving only warmth, "And it is one of the very few positive traits you possess."
Subaru looked away from her compliment. "Lately it seems I don't have as strong of resolve as I used to."
"You can't do anything about the past, Barusu, so stop worrying about it, and just have resolve now," She explained.
Upon hearing those words Subaru stood up and shifted his attention to the door. "You're probably right, thanks Ram."
Ram's smile deepened as Subaru reached into the cabin's wardrobe, which he'd put some other outfits from his bags into yesterday, and pulled out a black suit jacket in one hand and his whip in another.
"What's that for, Barusu?"
"I want to be prepared, so I'm going to go shake some of the rust off in case there is anything going on with the mansion tomorrow," He paused for a second before continuing, "And the jacket is for when I see Emilia, might start getting cold if she's in a state like that."
Ram stood up and walked over to him, "What do you mean?"
Subaru's eyes changed as if he'd said more than he meant, "Don't worry about it, just keep Garfiel from trying to kill me, I think I managed to get on good terms with him yesterday, but Shima could still mess with everything."
Ram had no idea what he was saying, but she chose to trust him, "Alright, useless Barusu."
Fragments of bark flew from the tree in front of him as his whip snapped out. He was a little bit worse than he was the last time he'd used it, but it wasn't too noticeable, so he spent a couple of hours practicing, until someone interrupted him.
"What're you doing, Natsuki-san?" Otto walked over to him, with the reins of both Furfroo and Patrasche in his hand.
Subaru looked over at the merchant and coiled up his whip before placing it back in the concealed pocket of his jacket. "Just practicing a little."
There was a noticeable mix of fear and suspicion within the merchant's eyes. Otto parted his lips like he was going to speak, but the words froze in his throat.
"Is it about what Emilia said yesterday?" Subaru's eyes warmed slightly as Patrasche walked off of the forest path and close to Otto and himself.
"Yes," Otto had to pause before he could speak further, "She said that the Witch summoned you or something, do you have any relation to her?"
"Summoned me? Yeah, I did hear that. Didn't really think much of it at the time," He paused for a second to think upon his response, "But yeah, I'm not from Lugunica or any of the other three countries, I didn't know it was Satella who grabbed me though."
Otto noticed the honesty in his words, "Well maybe Emilia-sama was wrong," The merchant had seen what Subaru had done to Gluttony and heard of what had happened with the White Whale. Everything Subaru did seemed to go against what he thought the Witch desired. "She wasn't in the best condition after the trial." The merchant decided to trust Subaru's word.
"Yeah, hopefully, she's gotten better," Subaru's jaws habitually opened a path for his tongue to slide through however he knew that his tongue just wouldn't move if he tried to kill himself, so he let it be until he saw Emilia again.
"What did you say about summoning, Natsuki-san?" Subaru thought of a way to answer the merchant's question as he stepped around the merchant and rubbed Patrasche's lower jaw.
"Happened a long time ago at this point, but one day I was walking home, and then the next I was in the capital of Lugunica. A country I'd never heard of. Hell back where I'm from we don't have ground dragons or even demi-humans." Otto's eyes bulged out slightly at Subaru's answer.
"How long ago?" He asked a question about the only part he truly understood.
Subaru continued to rub and scratch Patrasche's scales before eventually answering, "Long."
He didn't provide the merchant with any other information. "So have you talked to Patrasche more?" Subaru shifted the conversation away from Japan. He didn't want to think about the faded memories of his parents anymore.
"Uhm-" He started to think as a low growl emanated from the black ground dragon. Subaru had little idea what it meant but he assumed it was some form of communication.
"A little bit," He went with what sounded to Subaru like a safe option.
"Y'know Patrasche you should be nicer to Otto," The dragon gave him a growl, not as low as the one she'd given Otto, "I have no idea how to interpret that, well anyway I'm going to go talk to Emilia."
He patted Patrasche on the head before waving to Otto and setting off toward the cabin the silver-haired girl had taken up residence in.
"See ya, Natsuki-san," Otto returned his wave.
Subaru navigated his way through the Kremaldy Forest all the way to Emilia's cabin with ease. He stepped up to the door without anyone stopping him like had happened last time, however he himself did provide something of an obstacle.
When he reached out to the door to open it his hand started to quiver a little bit.
"You can't do anything about the past, Barusu, so stop worrying about it, and just have resolve now," Ram's voice played in his mind, and his eyes took on a quality reminiscent of steel.
He still had no idea what to say to Emilia, but that didn't stop him as he reached for the door and entered the cabin.
It didn't take him any time at all to reach Emilia's room, and he only had to push through some minor hesitation to get inside. However this was mostly unwarranted as when he opened the door Rem turned to him, but Emilia's eyes were closed and she was lying down on her bed.
Subaru quietly pulled up a chair to sit next to Rem, "How is she doing?" He asked her in a whisper.
"She's been waking up for a few minutes and falling back to sleep every once in a while, but from what Re-I can tell she's doing better than yesterday." Rem explained with distraught eyes.
Subaru nodded and the two sat in silence for a moment before Rem spoke once more, "Subaru-kun, how do we motivate Emilia to pass the trial?"
"After yesterday I'm not sure, she seemed so determined, and you did great supporting her, but…" He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't know."
Rem paused to think about it, "I may not be the smartest-" She was interrupted by Subaru placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder, "I think we may be missing something here," She dropped the self-deprecation before continuing on, "She has it in her to face her past, but she was unable to, and she even claimed that she should have passed."
Subaru paused to think on her words for a moment, and he also paused because if he didn't he may have let out a few tears of guilt. You have faith in her even where others don't. You really are Rem. His lips tilted upward, and tears glistened in his eyes. He wouldn't be able to say whether they were of joy that Rem was still here with him, or from the guilt that she was able to believe in Emilia where he couldn't.
"Subaru-kun, are you alright?" She asked him when she saw his face.
"Yeah, just remembering some things." He pushed away the shakiness from his voice and returned to the topic at hand, "The trial judge may have it out for Emilia, but if Emilia really did pass then she wouldn't deny her."
Rem thought for a second, but she didn't question where Subaru had gotten his information from, as whenever he did have seemingly questionable information it was normally spot on.
"There must be something else going on," She eventually commented.
"I don't have a clue as to what," Subaru in all of his loops in the past had never been able to get Emilia to pass the trials. Maybe there was something fundamental he'd been missing in each one. Just another mistake I'll have to fix if that is the case.
"Hm? What're you guys taaalking about?" Emilia's eyes fluttered open and they focused on him and Rem.
"Not much," Subaru responded. His voice held an air of hesitance as he spoke.
"Oh, alright," Emilia's eyes were locked onto Subaru, but she seemed to be looking through him and not at him. As if gazing at something entirely in her mind.
"Now that you're awake I wanted to ask if you were alright, Emilia," Subaru said.
"I should be well enough to take the trial again today. I passed it already so I just have to convince Echidna to not hate me." Subaru's eyes were mournful as he looked upon Emilia's state. He started to slide his tongue through his teeth.
"You believe me right, Rem, Subaru? You think that I can pass the trials?" Tears started to leak from her eyes when the two were silent for a moment. She reached her hands out from under the blankets and grabbed one of Subaru and Rem's hands in her own.
"Why don't you believe in me? Is it because I'm too selfish, or too childish, why?" Her face twisted in sadness as she tried to cling onto both of them.
"That's wrong, I believe in you Emilia," Rem rejected the girl's words, "I believe you can challenge the trials."
"Stop just saying that," Subaru shut his eyes and tried to push his tongue through his teeth, "You're lying, aren't you?"
"No Emilia I believe in you because I can see that strength in your eyes," Rem attempted to prove herself to the girl.
"Even I'm mature enough to know you're lying," Emilia pulled her hand away from Rem, and turned to Subaru, "And I know you don't really believe in me either."
She pulled her hands back under her covers and pulled them up to her neck, "Can you both just leave. I don't blame you, I promise, but I can tell that you don't expect anything of me, or believe in me, so please just leave me here. Find someone else to pass the trials. I'm not worth it."
She pulled the covers over her head and sobbed. Subaru reached out to her, but his arm couldn't move, and when he tried to force his tongue through his teeth it didn't respond to him.
I can't let Emilia remain in this state. He endeavored to push his tongue through his teeth again, but it wouldn't budge.
"You can't do anything about the past, Barusu, so stop worrying about it, and just have resolve now," His tongue flattened itself out against the bottom of his mouth at her words, and his hands balled into fists.
I am resolved. I am. I need to die so that Emilia doesn't end up like this. I need to take on her suffering.
He didn't notice Rem starting to stand up in her seat, so he was surprised when her hand landed on his shoulder.
"C'mon, Subaru-kun," She practically pulled him from the room, an expression of anguish clear on her face.
His body didn't resist the blue-haired maid as she led him outside. Once the door of the cabin shut Rem lost her grip on him, and dropped to the ground with tears clouding her once piercing blue eyes.
"I'm sorry Subaru-kun, I messed everything up again," In response to her words Subaru wrapped his arms around her.
"This isn't on you Rem, I was the one that convinced her to take the trials in the first place, even when she wasn't equipped for them," He tried to soothe her.
Rem shook her head at his words, "Maybe you're right about the first part, but she has what it takes to pass the trials. I really believe in her."
Subaru didn't know what to say to her, and instead only continued to comfort her.
It didn't take very long for Ram to arrive after she'd felt her sister's despair through their Synesthesia. From there Rem and Ram spent the rest of the day together while Subaru headed back to the cabin he shared with Ram to think.
Before he noticed, night had descended upon the Sanctuary, and Ram opened the door back into the cabin.
"How is Rem doing?" He asked her.
"She's doing better than she was," Ram had requested that she be able to spend some time alone with her sister. She didn't look like she regretted it, but there was an expression of emotional exhaustion. It seemed even Ram had a limit.
The two didn't talk very much as Ram sat down and ate some food that Subaru had made for her earlier. He sat on the bed while she ate, a similar look of exhaustion on his face. But there was that resolve of his, still intact, hiding at the back of his eyes.
Ram eventually finished eating and sat on the bed beside him. They didn't fall asleep, their exhaustion was different than physical, although they still were physically tired it was just less important at the moment.
The pink-haired maid let her head rest on Subaru's shoulder, and the two stared forward for another couple of moments.
"So when are you leaving for the mansion?" Ram broke the silence.
"An hour or so after I wake up tomorrow," His voice was worn out as he spoke.
Ram wrapped herself around him, "Well then I just have to take advantage of this time, because of your impatient Barusuness."
"Is that even a word?" Subaru asked her as he pulled the blankets over himself and Ram.
"Hah. It just shows how much of a Barusu you are that I need new words to be able to express it," Her words held no bite to them as it was clear she didn't mean them to.
Subaru's lips tilted upward a tiny bit, and he placed his hand on her forehead, rubbing away the vibrant pink hair which was in the way, and placing his hand on the scar where her horn had once been.
A few minor spirits glowed around him as he pushed mana into her body, he made sure to give it to her at a slower pace, as Felix had instructed him on the dangers of using too much mana at the same time. And he'd spoken of how Ram's body needed to adjust to it, as taking in too much mana too fast now could kill her.
Ram's hand tightened around his shirt, and a soft groan escaped her lips, "Mmh."
Subaru focused on making sure he was infusing mana correctly instead of worrying about any reaction from her that wasn't pain.
After a few minutes, he wiped the sweat from his brow, and laid a kiss on her forehead, "Goodnight, Ram," As the minor spirits faded the growing darkness hid the blush and smug smile which had grown on Ram's face.
"Goodnight, Barusu." With those words, the two slipped into sleep.
Subaru opened his eyes to footsteps. "Ah…" His brain was still exhausted from yesterday's events and his eyes were full of sleep, so his vision didn't return to him for a moment. And when he was able to see he looked around for the source of the footsteps he'd heard, but there was no one in the room. Aside from Ram, who was still asleep at his side.
And there were no black outlines of a person that should have been there in the darkness. Am I dreaming? The thought passed through his mind. He pinched himself, confirming that likely wasn't the case and he really was awake.
He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could get any words out a hand clapped over his mouth. His eyes jumped back to the other side of the bed, but before he could take note of anything another hand covered his eyes.
"Spirits!" Blue globes of light rushed into the room to heed his call, and mana flooded into him.
"El-" He tried to force out the muffled incantation through the hand over his mouth, but for some reason, he stopped and no sound came, even though he was still speaking. Dread filled him alongside an odd sensation in his body. It felt as if his flesh was melting like butter.
A voice rang out above him. But he couldn't see anything. And he didn't understand anything the voice was saying.
Voice. Voice. Voice. His thoughts became extremely simplistic, but he either didn't care, or he couldn't notice. In this state, he had no idea a question such as that was even possible.
He barely understood what was going on as another voice called out from beyond his mind. Footsteps rang out around him, someone was stepping away from him.
Steps. All that came into his mind was the memory of someone walking. That other voice sounded dangerous. He didn't understand why, until he heard a word he dimly understood.
"Barusu," None of the other words pierced his mind.
"MMMM!" He shouted out at the tone in that voice. Or he tried. He wanted to shout, needed to shout. Someone was out there, someone he couldn't explain why, but wanted to protect.
Subaru forced himself to stand, but all that happened was he heard a gelatinous sloshing. "MMMMMM!" He screamed again. But nothing other than a mumble came from him. He needed to shout, to scream, and to cry out, but he had no mouth.
Then he tried to look around to see what was happening as a set of footsteps moved over to him, but he had no eyes. A hand landed on him. Something about it set off his instincts. No thoughts came to their mind.
Nothing aside from the sensation as their skin blubbered and melted out they couldn't see it, but the man who'd seconds ago been Natsuki Subaru was now nothing more than a puddle.
But they were no longer Natsuki Subaru, they were nothing, just an existence, and they didn't understand any emotion more complex than hunger and fear right now. So as screams and sobs flew through the room they didn't even notice, for they had no senses to speak of.
But as they waited in the void without sensation, they realized they were full, and they heard nothing, so there was no reason to be afraid. All they were was calm.
It was liberating, the calm stretched out for eternity, they had no sense of time, but also no sense of impatience to make that time unbearable.
Maybe they could even be called blissful, and if not they were at the very least satisfied.
So they let this meaningless thing called time continue to stretch on and on.
It was not for what could have been either a second or an eternity until they were released. "Ah!" Subaru yelped as his gelatinous body reformed into his normal one.
"Ha, ha, ha…" He panted as he tried to get a sense of his surroundings, but the lingering sensation of his flesh melting was still gnawing at him.
Fuck, what the hell was that? His mind seemed slower than it should have been, but at least it was normal enough to recognize that fact.
His confusion increased as he looked out the window to try and gauge the time. The moon, which had shown it was only a short time after sunset, was now above the cabin so that he couldn't see it.
"What time is it?" Something had happened to him, so his mind shifted into the normal information-gathering state Echidna had trained.
"Who's there?" A frantic, and broken voice called out from the corner. Subaru looked over and summoned a few spirits to light up the room. His eyes widened to reveal Ram's form scrunched up in a fetal position in the cabin's corner.
"Ram!" Subaru rushed over to her as soon as he recognized her, which he hadn't been able to do before as her voice had sounded so frantic it couldn't have been Ram's.
The maid's body started to shake as Subaru stepped over to her, and when he leaned down to check if she was alright, she raised up her hand, and her forehead started to glow. She started to pant heavily as he moved slightly closer.
"Stop, stop, stop. Please stop. Please stop. Stop torturing me with his face. Stop. Stop. I just want you to stop, please I'm begging!" Her voice broke and cracked as her vocal cords started to tear.
She wrapped herself back into a ball so that her head was hidden, and Subaru noticed how many cuts and holes were littered throughout her maid uniform. It barely even covered any of her sensitive areas, as the skirt and chest area were mangled and ragged, but as he got closer he ignored how she shut her legs as he stepped up to her.
"Ram, it's me, it's Subaru." He reached out and grabbed onto her shoulders.
Instead of responding verbally, tears rolled down her face and she convulsed violently. Foam poured from her mouth as Subaru wrapped her into a hug.
"Ram, please, it's me. It's just me." Ram was able to turn her eyes to him, but no relief came to them, only more and more fear. Subaru tried to run his hand through her hair, but pain blossomed in her eyes, or at least the memory of it.
He realized his mistake and started to back away but she'd collapsed by the time he did so. "Ram? Ram?" Subaru checked her mouth to make sure she wasn't choking on her tongue, thankfully she was alright.
"What happened?" He already knew the answer to that question, but didn't let it come into his mind.
A seizure took her sleeping form and Subaru was forced to infuse mana into her. It only stopped her from trying to swallow her tongue, but didn't fully stop her convulsions, he lessened them but they persisted in a weaker form.
"Shit I need to get you to Rem," Subaru picked her up with his arms under her back and the back of her knees. His mind was focused on a single purpose as he stepped outside of the door.
It wasn't long before he heard a new set of footsteps.
Subaru turned his head to the owner of those footsteps, and felt a slight sense of betrayal, "You were lying, Ros."
"I'm not sure about that, but I'm just glad that it seems you've kept your bowels intact," A black-haired woman stepped up so that she was only a few meters away from him. She'd replaced her outfit since the last time he'd seen her. It was in the same style, just repaired from the damage Reinhard had done to it.
"Elsa," Subaru's tone filled with resolve as he shifted Ram from being carried in front of him, to slung over his shoulder. He didn't draw his whip however, as he had little chance of beating Elsa with it. So he knew it would be better to keep his hand free for magic casting.
"I believe you are Natsuki Subaru, not my target, but I promised I would see your bowels someday. And I have no problem putting my life on the line for this, that just makes it even more invigorating."
"Spirits!" He called out to the minor spirits of the atmosphere once more, and he also used some of the focusing tricks Julius had taught him so he could summon more.
After only a second of waiting nearly two hundred blue lights danced around him. Their light was so bright it fully illuminated Elsa in all her perverted nature. "A spiritualist?" Her smile grew wider, "Not every day I get to see their bowels."
She raised her kukri knife to him, "Elsa Granhiert."
Subaru drew mana from the spirits into his body, "Natsuki-" He was interrupted before he could say his full name.
"You weren't supposed to start without me Elsa, remember what mama said?" A purple-haired little girl rode out on the forest on the back of what looked something like a centaur. The mabeast's lower body was that of a horse, but its upper body was only a horn. Alongside that mabeast others lumbered out of the forest alongside her.
They were massive creatures, each about the size of an entire dragon carriage, and their bodies were covered in floral patterns with limbs blooming out in similar shapes.
Subaru's eyes scanned the four bear-like creatures which had stepped out of the forest alongside Meili and the centaur.
It didn't take him long to reach any decision, and Meili and Elsa were busy with some banter. So he had a golden opportunity to escape until he could find someone to help him fight these two off.
"El Minya!" He shouted out bringing forty shards of mana into existence, he didn't check to see their effect and instead tried to teleport himself and Ram away.
Elsa noticed his plan to escape, and moved so fast she was in front of him before he could notice, "I'm not letting you escape until I get a good look at those bowels."
Shit. He kept his mind calm and used his spirits to keep an eye on everything around him. Behind him, Meili was being shielded by one of the bears, which had turned almost entirely into purple crystal by now.
The other bears were starting to surround him, and the centaur mabeast was acting as a last line of defense for Meili.
Elsa was watching him with her aroused gaze, waiting to see what kind of move he'd make.
This isn't good. His thoughts were clear as he assessed the situation, however, he ignored Ram's continued trembling, it wasn't something he could take into account as there was no time.
He pulled out all the memories he had which pertained to Elsa. She was always weak against magic.
Within a second he'd come to a decision, "El Shamac!" He shouted it out and pushed out a cloud of black mist.
Once its effects touched Elsa, which left her body frozen, he started to run, "El Minya!" He manifested flaming arrows of shadow to assault the bears as he ran past their static forms. Desperation filled his eyes while he searched around for a destination.
Once he found a spot in the forest about a hundred meters away, he gathered up almost all the spirits around him could give, which left an icy chill in the air, and forced open a hole in the atmosphere. Without any more waiting around he jumped through, bringing Ram along with him.
Elsa soon felt the effects of Subaru's spell wear off, "Nothing is going to get in the way of me seeing those bowels, Natsuki Subaru. And that means you aren't getting involved either Meili, so go find our target," The woman gestured in the direction of the village.
"Gotcha," Meilie pushed a smile onto her face and took off following Elsa's gesture with her mabeasts in tow.
Once the mabeast user was gone, Elsa realized Subaru hadn't gotten far when she caught sight of pink hair in the trees only a hundred or so meters away.
"These will be some interesting bowels," She smiled as she began to chase after them.
"Let me down, stop pretending to be Barusu and just stop hurting me," Ram whispered from his back with terror and despair filling her voice.
Subaru ignored her for the moment, he had to make it to Rem, or Otto, or anyone else that could help Ram.
"She's following you, quickly," Images from the spirits burst into his mind. He made rapid use of them and started gathering mana into his gate.
"El Minya, Minya," He used it to create around fifty burning shadows, and flung them back at Elsa, guiding them with the sight of the spirits, as he continued to sprint through the forest. He ignored how difficult it was growing to pull mana through the spirits, they were nearing their limit.
But he kept sprinting as a few of the spirits danced around his legs, and mana strengthened him in his chase with Elsa. He didn't acknowledge the blue lights, instead, he focused entirely on running. He needed to focus to ward off the screaming of his heart as he never slowed down.
He ducked under branches as Ram's fist pounded into his back, "Stop torturing me, just please stop," Her begging tore into his heart, but he couldn't stop his sprint.
That was made abundantly clear as Elsa landed in front of him, a smile of pleasure painted across her face. "What a chase, your bowels will surely be worth it."
She raised her kukri knife, even with her improper form the aura she gave off was dangerous.
"Let me feel the warmth of your insides!" She moaned out in ecstasy and launched herself toward him.
Subaru tightened his grip on Ram and cast forth his other hand, "El Minya!"
Elsa's eyes darted around taking note of every piece of flaming shadows that Subaru had sent toward her. She weaved her way through a few, bending her body and moving her right arm to dodge some, but each fragment she evaded redirected back at her.
It only took a few movements for her to become trapped in a shimmering prison of shadows. "Ah," She sighed in desire as she danced through another dodge and realized she had nowhere else to move. Ten pieces of shadow were shooting up from under her, while the other thirty had surrounded her in all directions.
Her vision flicked to Subaru, who was standing with his palm open, outstretched, and facing the sky. The woman's heart began to beat faster and faster as the situation truly sank into her conscious mind.
The smile on her face widened as Subaru closed his fingers. She had no time to react before flaming shadows pierced her entire body, and her skin was turned to a crystalline purple that covered her.
Within a few seconds, Elsa's entire form was frozen with a wild smile on it.
Subaru didn't hesitate in turning around and continuing to sprint away. He had faced Elsa tens of thousands of times, he knew how she fought, and how resilient she was.
"Stop, please just stop!" Ram's voice grated against his ears as he vaulted over a fallen tree.
"Ram, it's me!" He shouted back at her as her fists bashed into his spine.
"Do you expect me to believe that, stop pretending so much, you're disgusting," Her fearlessness started to return as Subaru protested against her.
"Elsa is chasing again!" Spirits screamed into his ear and he switched directions, he didn't take the precaution to keep Ram stable that he wanted to, and her forehead crashed into a tree as he burst off of the forest path.
"Please not again!" She screamed out and tried to clutch her head. Most of the steel had drained from her voice and terror had rushed in to replace it once more. "No, no, no, STOP TORTURING ME WITH HIS FACE!"
Pain shot into Subaru's back as Ram forced her fist into his spine once more, "Ram stop!" He screamed back at her, his mind unable to form any words other than that, as he realized Elsa was right behind him.
Ram ignored him. He knew from his spirits that the scar on her forehead had begun to glow, and her face had taken on the look of a cornered animal. If the maid saw his companions she would have realized it was him, but her mind was so focused on her task that she was tunnel-visioned on escaping her perceived torturer.
"LET ME GO!" Blood watered down her words as her vocal cords ripped.
"Elsa's right behind!" Every spirit yelled.
"EL SHAMAC!" Subaru screamed out and shoved the spirit's mana through his body and into the world, paralyzing the black-haired woman chasing him, and the pink-haired woman on his shoulder.
When the dark cloud of mana touched her Ram's body froze and fresh memories burned within her mind.
"This lovely lady is going to treat you just like you deserve you little meat bag," That voice burned in her ear and unbearable agony filled her mind. She remembered that hunger in her stomach, and the mouths that had covered her body. Each new mouth had sought something to eat, and the closest thing had been other pieces of her.
She'd nearly been devoured by herself, and that was all Ram dared think about.
In comparison with the torture the woman had inflicted upon her in Subaru's shape, eating herself was nothing.
LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! She struggled against the shadow magic that was blocking her from moving.
"Why do you look so afraid, so scared, I'm just giving you exactly what you want. I thought you meat bags loved stuff like this, if that isn't the case, well then poor you, my desires as the goddess I am outclass yours," That woman had whispered it in Subaru's voice, Ram forced away the violation she'd experienced from his body.
"AHHH!" She screamed out in a vain attempt to force her limbs to move. NOT AGAIN NOT AGAIN NOT AGAIN! "NOT AGAIN!" Her eyes snapped open when the realization she could speak dawned on her.
Ram stopped squirming and forced away the phantom agony that filled her. She calmed her frantic eyes and focused on what she saw below her, it was the false Barusu's knee, or the back of it. It was jumping in and out of her vision as the woman pretending to be him continued to run.
"Haa…" Ram took a deep breath and let the scar where her horn had been glow. Time slowed as memories of her torture burned in her mind and fury burned in her heart.
The back of the pretender's knee entered the edge of her vision as the leg was cast back. Ram exerted all of her willpower and made her palm face it.
"Ram what're you doing?" That voice, it was Barusu's. It was his voice. What am I doing? It's his voice. It's Barusu. It's Barusu. Please just let it be Barusu. I trust you Barusu, I trust you. A few tears rolled down from her eyes as those thoughts passed through her mind.
She knew that she was lying to herself. Just pretending it was him to satisfy her mind. Ram had to face reality, this was the woman who'd tortured her. The woman who'd done so many unspeakable things to her.
Ram pointed her palm at the back of Subaru's knee, and parted her lips, "Ram!"
She closed her eyes to hold back the tears, and forced the word in her mind out into the world, "Fula…"
A blade of wind sheared through Subaru's legs with ease, and she felt full control of her body return to her.
She pushed herself off of him and landed on her feet, bracing herself for the pain that still remained from the fight against Ley. It came but it was not enough to stop her, so she started to run toward the village.
Before she could get more than a step a black-haired woman appeared in front of her and whispered down to her. "Where do you think you're going?"
"El Ful-" Ram didn't hesitate to try to force mana through her body and into her hand, but the pain was unimaginable, and unlike before where she could have ignored it her resolve was not as strong as it had once been, so she collapsed to the ground.
Her breathing quickened as Elsa stepped over her, and a hand grabbed her own. She wanted to shy away from it, to run from it, but that touch, it was so soft, so loving, so understanding. Ram let her head fall to the side so she could see its source, and Subaru's face lay there. Twin trails of tears pouring from his eyes.
"Ram…" His eyes seemed hurt, but they were not surprised.
"Barusu…" He was the real Barusu. He was her Barusu, and she'd cut off his leg without listening to him. "I'm sorry, Barusu, Barusu… I'm-" Her words cut off as a length of steel burrowed itself in her neck.
The black-haired woman left the knife in her neck as blood poured into her throat, Ram wanted to let out the agony and guilt inside. She tried to scream, and to cry out, to apologize for what she'd done to the man she put above all others aside from Rem. But all that came out was a weak gurgle of blood.
The physical pain burning her neck was nothing compared to the guilt in her heart. Barusu, I'm sorry… She tried to speak those words, but that same gurgle was all that came to her. Tears poured from her eyes, and she cried, broken, afraid, and guilty as she let out her final breath.
"Ram? Ram? Ram?" Subaru yelled out as she died. He pushed his body over, and cradled her in his arms.
"Ram… I love you, Ram, please, please wake up…" When he knew that she wouldn't, Subaru felt all his resolve disappear, leaving only two emotions left.
"Don't blame yourself, Ram, it isn't your fault," He whispered it into her ear as tears poured from his eyes and into her once radiant pink hair, now it was stained with a mix of their blood.
He didn't notice as Elsa pushed him onto his back and pierced his stomach with her knife. He was only focused on Ram's hair. It was so beautiful, as the moonlight glistened through the unstained stretches of it.
His eyes stayed focused on it, even as Elsa pulled out his intestines, and went on a tirade about the beauty of guts.
Ram… I'm sorry… As his vision faded, the brilliance of Ram's hair diminished, and tears filled his eyes. They were not tears of guilt, anguish, regret, or loss. But soon they became tears of self-loathing as he realized what he was truly crying for.
Ram… Blood bubbled in his throat as he tried to breathe, but no air exited his lungs. Then, when he tried to breathe in only blood came where there should have been fresh oxygen.
For the next minute, his lungs filled with blood as he tried to breathe. Once that minute came to a close, his body ran out of air, and the blood pouring from the gaping hole in his stomach was too much for his body to handle. Finally, his eyelids drooped and fell closed.