Isekai'd, My Posterior!
For those of who that didn't know, the song being sung here is "The Wellerman" by Sea Shanty. Listen to it to understand why it makes the chapter funny. Really, it's a good song.
William trod down the old steps of the forgotten Bell Tower, ears attentive to the soft, crisp notes fluttering around the open space below like butterflies in the sunshine. He had his reservations about being the only real-worlder to be Isekai'd into this shit-show more than once already – because if they could do it him, then it probably meant there had been at least one or two before his arrival. However, to think that someone had come before him from a time space not too far from his own was the questionable part.
He had only heard that song a short while ago, meaning that if someone had indeed been sent to this recreated Dark Souls, then they were more or less around his age if he were to reason that only SoulsBorne fans were being abducted inter-dimensionally. Additionally, it was also a negative to look at, because if that person had come here one or two years prior to himself, it meant that they were either hollow or MIA – because what need was there to Isekai two Earth-dwellers when one was more than enough to test whatever morbid theory was currently bobbing around some dipshit god's cranium?
Then again, there was one way other than Isekai that this strange occurrence was possible. There was a chance that whilst this was in all facets a real-world Dark Souls, the other people playing the game in his world could potentially communicate with this one – meaning that summoner's, invaders and just general time-space hoppers would have crossed into this plane once or twice.
But how could summons have taught Quelaan – he assumed that was still her name – a song precisely? Summons didn't speak. They couldn't.
William shook his head. Thinking about the particulars would have to wait for when he was high off his ass from eating Green Blossoms and moss before waltzing up to Quelana and her bitchy attitude to cop a feel like he was the younger version of a hornier Hugh Hefner.
His eyes found the lift system down into Izalith's Ruins, and the entryway into Izalith itself before resting on a less than interesting slab of wall. He approached it, ears straining to hear more of the Fair Lady's pretty voice.
Despite his usual pomp, his heart was actually beating pretty fast. He had only managed to catch a glance of Quelaag in all her spidery glory and he had nearly had a stroke with the tent he was pitching from here to Oolacile. Now that he was alone, before an imaginary wall, about to meet the more docile and meek twin of Quelaag's that was equally as breathtaking as she was adorable and frail made him want to put on a chastity belt. Wait, would banging a Spider Waifu be considered bestiality?
He shrugged. Why did he care? She was a Spider Waifu for pity sake. If she was craving undead Thief, then he was going to be her all-you-can-eat buffet.
And so, with as much confidence as a scrub about to fight Midir during mating season, he walked straight through the imaginary wall.
…Only to crack his nose against the soot-covered stone before it bled like a woman that just hit her period and flooded the room like the river Nile.
"OW! Shit, wrong wall." He sniffed before taking a step to the left and flicking a fingernail against the surface. When the digit failed to make contact with anything solid and the 'wall' surreptitiously evaporated from sight, he grinned sheepishly before spitting out the remainder of the blood he couldn't swallow and taking a short swig of Estus.
Inside was less sweltering and much more warming, the faint wisps of orange light seeping out from the unlit bonfire hilt making him smile in nostalgia as he took a brisk step forward only to brusquely stomp on someone's pale and malnourished hand.
"By the gods!" screamed an obnoxious voice William had even forgotten existed. He felt bad for Eingyi's voice actor.
"Oops… sorry I, uh… didn't see you there." He said, staring at a muttering undead with a multitude of webbed eggs on his back like he was the twisted version of the Pyramids of Giza.
"Oooh, that's going to leave a mark." Eingyi remarked as he rubbed the appendage tenderly before looking up at William. "It's quite alright, young man. Are you here to see the Fair Lady?"
The undead smiled widely. "Aren't we all?"
The crawling undead replied with a knowing smile of his own. "Indeed, we are. For what other purpose do we merry men devote ourselves to a maiden as humble as her if not for-"
"Dem legs!" William exclaimed unexpectedly before slapping a hand over his mouth.
Eingyi blinked back in reply to his outburst. "Um. No. I was going to say fulfilment."
"Meh, means about the same." The undead shrugged.
"Are you certain? I don't think that's quite right."
"Did you look at the Fair Lady's face or kindness the first time you met here?"
"Well, actually… I'm ashamed to admit that I looked at neither the first time I laid eyes on her majesty." The egg-carrier mentioned with a blush.
"Mm-hmm. And was the sight of those small yet humble orbs not reason enough to put your life on the line to protect her?"
"Well I..." Eingyi stopped. "Actually, I believe you have a point."
William nodded with enthusiasm at his not-so-young-padawan. "I can see that we're going to get along just fine, Eingyi."
"How did you know my name?"
"Excuse me?"
"You called me by my name, young man." The older undead said with a bit of awe in his eyes. "Are you a prophet by any chance?"
William stiffened.
"You are a prophet! I can see it from the way you-"
"A-Actually, you mentioned your name when we first conversed five minutes ago." The undead quickly cut in, making Eingyi frown in befuddlement.
"Are you certain? I could have sworn I hadn't mentioned it yet."
"No, you positively did. Your mind must be playing tricks on you, friend. When's the last time you stepped outside for a breath of fresh air?"
"Honestly, I haven't seen the sun in nearly three full decades." The egg-bearer admitted with a nod.
"Ohh." William winced. Not the best way to divert the conversation but still good, nonetheless. The last thing he needed was to be called a prophet or some similar title like that. He wasn't nearly as confident in the lies he told to keep the ruse going. Besides, thieves naturally possessed unusually better luck than most in almost every book and movie created. Better to remain insidious than all-knowing, least whatever form of Murphy's Law come and smack him on the ass and inflict pain harder than the time his uncle Greg accidentally shot a lead pellet in his right cheek when he tried to sneak out of the house at age seventeen.
"Well anyway, could I please see the Fair Lady?"
Eingyi gave him a broad smile before attempting to shuffle to the side.
"Why, by all means."
"Thank you very much." William said sincerely.
"Not a problem. But, eh… why don't you have any eggs?"
"Oh, I-"
"Bah! No matter." The egg-bearer waved him off. "Go and greet our glorious maiden."
And glorious she was. Honestly, if William had to make an account of the many beautiful women he had ever met – physically, mind you – in his life, he would have to say that the Daughter of Chaos before him, sitting on a panting Arachnid with her delicate and pale hands together in soft prayer, was the most mesmerizing thing he had ever seen.
She even had Quelaag's bountiful valleys beat. That in and of itself was a momentous achievement.
He did take note that her appearance was altered slightly from her in-game counterpart. Like the way her skin didn't seem to possess that scaly texture it did in the Prepare To Die edition, or how her claws weren't as long as her sisters. Most especially, there was the fact that she was far from being flat. In fact, if his trained gaze were to appraise those adorable fleshy bumps properly, she looked like she was rocking a set of B's, maybe a solid C if she puffed her chest out more.
His nose threatened to leak again, and he quickly shook his head of all deviant thoughts. He needed to stay focused, Oscar and the Milf were still fighting for their lives upstairs. He could mess around with Quelaan later.
Her head swiveled his way as he approached her, taking notice of his echoing footsteps and he noticed her hair was exactly the same shade as his, as where her unseeing eyes. If they were in another setting, he would have assumed that she was from the Hyuuga Clan. He watched as she stared at him as he neared, like a sentry gun tagging his position as he moved. He said nothing until he was standing right in front of her, faces a foot apart.
William frowned. That's right, he had forgotten the greatest flaw in his plan: he was missing the Old Witch's Ring. Now that he was here with both the Rite of Kindling and a Firekeeper Soul, half the battle was already won for him. The only difficult part would be convincing the Fair Lady to allow him to experimentally heal her of the blight she suffered. But to do that he needed the ring to converse. And as far as he knew, the native language of Izalith couldn't be heard by regular huma-
"Soror? Est, quod es?"
William blinked. Did she just speak Latin to him?
"Soror. Quorsum taces?"
She did just speak Latin to him. He wasn't dreaming right now. The mother tongue of Izalith was goddamn Latin. How unoriginal. Seriously, that was just lazy writing.
The fact that he even remotely remembered the language taught to him eons ago was even stranger. But he supposed it was better than her speaking Mongolian. Wait, was that even a language? Or was it a type of Monk?
"Vos non habent ut fatigo super me. Qui malus est dolor…"
Her voice was frail, though soft, but he heard her clearly. It seemed that she assumed he was Quelaag with all the 'soror' stuff that meant sister. As for the last mouthful she had uttered, she was attempting to reassure him that she was perfectly alright.
William sniffed. A glance at her pretty face squeezed in silent pain along with the pus oozing from her spidery lower half said otherwise. If anything, she was drowning slowly in a sea of extremely thick molasses laced with venom. He needed to do something quickly, but first getting her to realize that he wasn't her sibling with a sister-complex would be priority number one.
"I'm sorry," he said to her in Latin, a little shaky in the pronunciation, "my name is William. Your sister told me to pay you a visit."
"Oh, I see." She replied in understanding, her body suddenly straightening as if he were some important dignitary from another country. "It's a pleasure to meet you… my na-name is Quelaan."
He winced with her as a particularly strong spasm seemed to interrupt her speech, yet she soldiered on with purpose. He supposed that he was the only other visitor she had really had in a long time besides her sister. He would have counted Kirk on her list of familiars but he doubted to Darkwraith commander really spoke much to even be differentiated with other Chaos Servant members since all he did was feed her humanity.
"Have you come to join our covenant?" she said it so innocently that he felt like devoting himself to her, body and soul right that minute. No wonder people seemed to love her so much. With a simple smile she could end a World War.
"As much as I'd love to, I actually came because I heard you singing."
He saw her delicate features blossom into a soft smile as a blush coated her cheeks, and he felt his heart threaten to burst from his ribcage. Dammit, forget facing Gwyn, the real final boss was this gorgeous Firekeeper. He swore she was unconsciously filtering magic into her words and facial expressions. How else could he explain the unreal amounts of dopamine being released into his system?
"Yes, I heard it from a passerby long ago." She unclasped her hands to gently comb through her hair and William filed the useful information away for later. "It was so strange yet… so comforting. I couldn't h-help but want to remember it again."
A smile lit his features as an idea slivered into his brain like a creepy perv's wandering fingers in a crowded train.
"I happen to know a little bit of the song myself, you know." Quelaan's head shot up in a mixture of surprise and excitement and the undeads face broadened in its toothy showcase. "Would you… like to sing it together? I might know a few words you don't."
She opened her mouth to agree when a thought seemed to enter her mind and she stopped suddenly. William frowned as he watched her body deflate, her hands curling around herself as she thought better of it.
"I-I would love to but…" he noticed the singular tear slide down her smooth face and he felt a burning in his chest. He had only wanted to save Quelaan because her greater health would end in his party acquiring the Daughters of Chaos as allies but now when he saw such regret and pain written on a face so pure… he felt something shift on the inside.
"Unfortunately," her soft, brittle voice that seemed to cause his own face to crinkle up in sadness spoke again, "I am too weak to attempt to sing something so jolly. As it is, I can barely manage to voice a full line."
Another lightbulb lit up above the Thief's head and he grinned like a Cheshire cat. For once his don't-give-a-damn attitude would have to take a backseat whilst he made magic happen. He almost laughed at the thought. Perhaps that idiot Oscar was beginning to rub off on him somewhat.
"Bloody hero-complex." He muttered under his breath before looking back at Quelaan. This was going to be an act of charity he was actually going to enjoy for once.
"Ne, Quelaan."
"Y-Yes William?"
"Would you like me to help make you better?"
"You can do that?" she gasped, hand on her impressive chest.
"It involves the bonfire in front of you and a soul of a Firekeeper long deceased, but it think I can do it."
Her body quivered with emotion and he held his grin at the sight. Now that was the reaction he had been hoping to see.
"But… c-can you really take the pain away?" she asked furtively.
William merely grinned wider. "It's worth a shot, isn't it?"
"And that's how it all happened."
Oscar gave him a blank stare with his helmet off whilst Quelana looked at him with her jaw hanging loose, an unrecognizable emotion swirling within her dark eyes.
"What? Something I said?"
"How did you even find where she was resting?"
William drew his head back an inch as the gurgling mouth of Quelaag's Arachnid half was suddenly in his face. He looked up at her snarling beauty of a face before his eyes immediately shot down to stare at an even more gorgeous sight, the jiggling and firmness of her alabaster orbs making his head spin.
"Here's a better question, why can you speak the common tongue whilst Quelaan does not?"
Quelaag's eye twitched before she grabbed him by the collar and hoisted him up. The undead was amazed by the strength in those dainty arms of hers, even more so by how plush her red lips seemed to look. He wondered, did lipstick exist in Lordran or was she coating her lips with the blood of her fallen foes? Either way, those pouty folds of skin looked oh-so-decadent to his calculating eyes.
"And why exactly would you care?!" he kept his poker face on as she screamed into his face. Believe it or not, he was a toothpick away from losing his mind from the domination the woman was showing him. Seriously, he didn't think he was a simp but now he with a firecracker of a woman like Quelaag, he was beginning to think that maybe being one wasn't such a bad idea after all.
"Well, besides the fact that you speak it fluently, I would have thought that it might come in handy for your sister to know it as well. Additionally, since I'm the guy that healed the Fair Lady's blight, I assumed that would be the least you could do as compensation for my deeds of goodwill."
The Daughter of Chaos stopped her snarling to look at him in surprise before turning to glance at her happily humming twin. A moment passed in silence whilst Oscar stood to the side, attempting to figure something out in his head whilst Quelana just stood there, shocked as ever.
Whilst she knew that William was one of the most crass men alive, she would have never guessed that he would go as far as to save a sister of her that she hadn't even known was still alive – and he hadn't rung the bell he had been so insistent of reaching yet. Quelana turned her head to the side, a hand reaching up to gently cup her face as she mused to herself. Perhaps the Thief wasn't such a bad person after all. And he was quite fetching. Admittedly, not as much as Salaman had been but maybe…
"You think your kindness means anything to me?" Quelaag's booming voice knocked her out of her thoughts and she shook her head abruptly. William was still a bastard, despite his unpredictably courageous performances. What was wrong with her?! Was she still worked up from that erotic dream she had been having?
"Wow. Not even a 'thank you'? Just how bad are your table manners? Wait, when was the last time you even sat at a table to begin with?"
The redhead growled before depositing him onto the floor and turning away, her steed heading toward her pale sister. William merely raised an amused eyebrow. If Tsundere wasn't the perfect term to describe the vixen's persona, he didn't know what was. Then again, at least she wasn't a psychopathic Yandere. He shivered. Those were just too much of a bother, whether their hotness level was above a seven or not.
"In any case, you've reached the Tower I guard. Go and ring that detestable Bell."
William turned to her. "Who? Me?" he placed a hand on his chest, and she swiveled her head to stare at him with those burning red eyes of hers.
"Is that not what bought the Chosen Undead here? The Bell of Awakening?" she spoke both names with obvious disdain. He didn't blame her. He had just as much hell when he was but a scrub, falling over cliffs because of bad timing between rolls and the ever-present rage that came with continuous deaths when fighting bosses. If anything, he and her were almost exactly alike.
"No, he's the Chosen Undead," William replied, pointing to Oscar, "why does everybody assume I'm the undead of legend?"
"Probably because you act like a pompous buffoon all the time." Quelana remarked.
The undead huffed. He couldn't help it; it was just in his nature to behave like he owned the show. Thinking back, it was better than the stuttering nerd he used to be. He grimaced at the reminder of his younger days. High school created the hatred he possessed for polyester sweaters and jerseys. Seriously, why did his clique even wear those atrocities?
Blinking back into reality, he gazed at Quelana holding onto her ashen catalyst and approached her curiously. She said nothing as he did a quick once-over of her person before walking around her like a shark, eyeing every angle of her womanly structure.
"What are you doing?" she finally asked, fighting back the urge to cover herself with her free arm and he looked at her inquisitively.
"Where the hell were you hiding that thing? Its almost double your height." He dropped his gaze to her waist dramatically. "and I don't see a satchel on you."
"It was in my magical storage." She said peevishly and William gave her a devious smile that just made her groan. She knew that look. He was going to say something utterly stupid again.
"Is that where you keep all your Milf tools?"
"Oh, for the love of the gods, I am not a Milf!"
"You say that, but I have yet to see proof."
"And just how am I supposed to prove that I am still a virgin?!"
"Well there are several ways, the most obvious being that we need to get naked real fast."
"You are incorrigible." She scoffed with a tint of red on her face. Since when did men openly remark about being intimate when there were people present? At the same time, she couldn't exactly say she would away the undeads offer… uh, but purely so that she could prove that she wasn't a Milf, of course. There was absolutely no other reason attached!
"Uhm, William." Oscar intoned softly. "perhaps we shouldn't start another fight this early after just evading death."
He was met with a hand in his face.
"Hush Oscar, the adults are talking."
"Ah… but William. I'm older than you are."
His reply was a pat on the pauldron.
"There, there, old chap. Ring the Bell for us both. I still need to hammer into this Milf's skull the concept of being a lady."
"I am the perfect example of a lady that you have ever seen, thank you very much." Quelana exclaimed, crossing her arms as Oscar just stood there confused.
When exactly did he become the third wheel?
"The three of you may leave now." Quelaag said as they all turned to look at her retreating form.
Quelana took that moment to spring into action, as if her prior hesitation had been all but absolved.
"Sister, please wait!" she shouted as she brushed past William and began to approach the redhead.
Quelaag swerved around on her spider-half to glare at her elder sister, pinning her in place with the feral anger in her slitted red eyes.
"DO NOT CALL ME THAT!"
Quelaan and Eingyi stopped their quiet singing to turn to the guardian of the second Bell. Not a word was spoken and not a sound escaped the crumbled room as Quelana's face broke into one of pure misery – almost as if having anticipated this type of reaction.
" You of all people have no right to refer to me as such. Not after you abandoned us when our home fell." Quelaag sneered, watching as the conflicting emotions on her elder sister's face fluctuated before she spoke up.
"Mother had fallen, Quelaag," she spoke softly, as if raising her voice even an octave higher would cause her own self-conscious to shatter into a million pieces. "Gwyn's armies came to our aide, whether to stop her from her machinations or not. Our people were turning into monsters. Why did you not follow me when I told you to run?"
"Because I was not a coward!" she spat, making Quelana take a step back. William remained silent in all this whilst nodding to Oscar, the Astorian creeping up the stairway to ring the Bell as ordered.
"When Mother fell to her own naivety, her final orders were to protect the refugees in their escape. Quelia and Queela were both devoured trying to restrain Mother's growing mutation, leaving the rest of us as the Kingdom's leaders. Why did you run and leave the three of us to suffer in turmoil? You knew that we were not strong enough to brave the demons emerging from the chaos flame attached to our heels! You were meant to be there for us when Mother could not! Instead, you abandoned us, leaving Quelure to fend off the demons on our rear, forever trapped within the home we lost."
Quelaag growled loudly, pacing back and forth in her anger, tears in her eyes as Quelana just stood there, too shocked to say anything at all.
"Quelaan and I managed to save those we could, and they in turn left to live peaceful lives in nations never known. We were afflicted by the same cursed flames that we warned Mother not to toy with, Quelaan worse so after her kind nature forced her to try and save a poisoned hamlet only caused by that shining god's deception!" the Thief raised a pale brow. He didn't know Blighttown was like that because of Gwyn.
"She ended up being just as poisoned as that bog beyond these walls. She was on the verge of death, Quelana! I had no choice but to force her into servitude of the Ancient Flame. We lived in agony, trying each day to hold onto the hope stolen from us by the words of belligerent deities in utopic castles, only to hear word of your grand exploits in the world." She seethed bitterly at the remembrance, making her elder sister curl in on herself like a kicked puppy. She knew her deeds held an incredible measure of spitefulness to them when she decided to travel the world to forget the terrors she found in her homeland. But her fear and cowardice held more sway over her common decency to return to the family she knew was still alive. Quelana never did think she was ever redeemable for such acts.
"And now you return and dare to call me your sister?" Quelaag curled her lip at the word before spitting it out like poison on her tongue. Her spider-half growled in response the negative emotions being filtered through its host before it walked up to the quivering woman in black.
"S-Si-Sister, I'm s-so sorry…" Quelana tried to say but the sobs wracking her body and regret crushing her shoulders prevented it from reaching her sister's ears. Quelaag just bent over, her face next to Quelana's, mouth poised against her ear before she spoke in barely contained wrath.
"Ego maledicunt diei ego facta sororis tuae samariae."
Quelana gasped in anguish as she fell to her knees. She should have been expecting something so filled with hatred and malice, but to experience it was still devastating, nonetheless. Even so… to think that her beloved sister would think that ill of her was the worst blow she could have ever received. Whilst she had been travelling for more than a few centuries, her handle on her mother tongue had become marginally strained, yet she heard Quelaag's words clear as day as her body went into shock.
'I curse the day you were made my sister.'
The redhead looked down at her in contempt before her hand reached back for her sword. William merely tapped his foot on the ground impatiently, wondering what the hell was taking Oscar so long.
This was getting worse by the second. Now that it was apparent that Quelaag wasn't insane because of turning demonic, but insane because of abandonment issues, this placed his premeditated alliance with Izalith at risk. Furthermore, it would mean the Milf would die. He didn't want that. She was the Milf! She couldn't die until he had a chance to see whether she was lying or being truthful about her Milfancy status; and besides that, he still needed to learn Pyromancy.
Why Pyromancy, one might ask. It was as simple to answer as the herpes forming on a young fellow's mouth: Pyromancy relied on emotions to fuel its potency, not Faith (of which he had none), or wisdom (of which he had plenty but wasn't up for reading heavy tomes filled with gibberish written by an old crow a few spokes away from a cartwheel). And besides, the only spell he wanted to learn was Undead Rapport. The cool shit he could do with that spell alone was immeasurable. Also, it would be nice to fight a boss with a small company of undead for a change to give Oscar something of a chance. He could be just like Nito to some degree. From his aspect, that sounded pretty rad.
But quite honestly, if something didn't jump out and stop the redhead from cleaving the white-head's head from her shoulders… they were all screwed. Oscar's distraction would help a bit, but not near enough to pull them out of this crazed revenge saga. Really, what they needed was a miracle. And the last time he checked; those were reserved for the cultists following the maniacal uncle of Gwyn.
"Sister. Stop this madness!" a meek voice screamed in Latin. The undead leaned his head back to peer over Quelaag's head only to see the Fair Lady struggling to reach her siblings on her malnourished white spider-half.
"Quelaan! What are you doing? You cannot walk after so much time bedridden." The redhead replied back in their home language, dropping the sword resting behind her to quickly catch her younger sister.
Quelaan dropped into her arms and she panted, a sheepish smile on her face as she muttered out softly, "I wanted to stop you from making a grave mistake."
William saw Quelaag's eyes soften and a smile grew on his face. It seems his miracle had come.
"Quelaan?" Quelana said hesitantly, her face a mess of tears and snot – though she was one of those women that was able to still appear breathtaking whilst crying. It was quite surprising to see.
When Quelaan heard her eldest sister's voice, he could see the brightness in her face grow tenfold before she broke free from Quelaag's grip to launch herself next to Quelana and wrap her small around the sobbing woman.
"Quelie!" she screamed, tears flooding her sightless eyes as both Daughters of Chaos embraced. William swallowed back his own river of tears, but not for the reason one would expect. He thought he had just found his soulmate.
"Wh-What… How is this possible…?" Quelaag stared, transfixed at her pale sister as she hugged Quelana with all the strength she could. The undead saw her red eyes dart about before landing on him. Immediately, William saw his short life flash before his eyes.
"Just how much Humanity did you feed her?" the woman demanded. The Thief took that opportunity to straighten his posture and sigh out in relief. Guess he wasn't going to die without getting laid after all.
"Thinking that feeding her Humanity would be enough to heal her was the problem." He replied and received a confused stare.
"What nonsense is it you speak, human? It was because of Humanity that she still lives!"
William stared wide-eyed as Quelaag raged at him. He had difficultly listening to what she was saying when her fun bags swung left, right, jiggled like jelly and finally slapped together with a meaty thuck before his wandering eyes, properly snapping him out of the trance he was in.
He looked up at her face and shook his head. Dayum. Gwynevere may have been size infinity, but Quelaag's were the damn jumping castles of legend. He swore that groping those would bring him back from hollowing one day soon.
"A-Ahem! Well, what I meant to say was that the sprites you were feeding Quelaan were helping to take away the pain. That being said, they did nothing to eradicate the blight she suffered."
Quelaag's eyes lost its predatory glint and her brain seemed to process the soul knowledge he didn't know he possessed. He coughed into his hand when she placed an arm underneath her chest and leaned back, further amplifying the fullness of her bosom as she got comfortable enough to listen to him.
"Like I was saying, feeding her Humanity would have done nothing to heal her since she's already a Firekeeper. As it is, her soul is made up of endless Humanity. To counter that, you needed to use a source of humanity that was on the same level as her own soul."
"But what could possibly constitute as a stronger form for Humanity shards?" she asked pensively.
"Simple. A Firekeeper's soul."
Her eyes gained a tint of its previous ferocity as she looked at him. "And where would one find such an item?"
William swallowed hard. He understood the edge in her words. She would be protective about the wellness of other Firekeeper's since her sister was one such being. Even so, he was in the clear. After all, the last thing he would do was slaughter a woman for her soul. He was a complainer, not a fighter, remember?
"There are two ways that I know of. The first is by killing another Firekeeper for her soul," he ignored her growl, "the second is pillaging a Firekeeper's corpse for their soul. I took the second option to heart."
"You defiled the dead for such a boon?"
"I'm a Thief. I have no respect for anything except those that know to survive. Besides, it was better to take it from the one I found rather than let it rest in the hands of a hollow that would abuse its power due to insatiable greed."
Quelaag seemed to agree to his response partially before something else entered her mind.
"But then how did you heal my sister completely? A simple soul alone wouldn't be enough. You said so yourself."
"Indeed, I did. Very astute of you." William smiled before holding up his hand as a small crimson flame flickered to life in his palm.
"I used this. The Rite of Kindling. And ancient power located in the Catacombs of the former Undead City."
"The resting place of the Gravelord?" she asked, impressed. William smiled back with glee.
"The Rite is used to bolster bonfires so that undead can collect more Estus and generally become stronger from the flames. I assumed that if it can make undead well again, then it could better aide the bonfire's Keeper in the same way. But to do that, you would also have to feed the Keeper's a resource that only sustains their existence."
"Humanity." Quelaag breathed and William nodded.
"With both the Rite and the Firekeeper soul, it ensured a sort of concurrent healing to the Fair Lady's body, pulling out the blight she was affected with." They turned to look at Quelaan conversing with a now calmer Quelana, soft smiles on both their faces. William gazed at Quelaag and saw the conflicted look on her face. It was obvious she regretted saying all that stuff to her elder sister. It was honestly a common think all Tsundere did. He was just glad the kawaii member of her family was able to fix the near-broken link.
"Unfortunately, her sight is and forever will be in disrepair." Quelaag looked at him suddenly before nodding sadly.
"I understand."
William nodded to himself. He was glad the restoration of Quelaan's body worked out alright. He would have been dead if it didn't. Then again, he hadn't expected the half-hearted attempt at healing her to work in the first place. He was sure there were a couple of loopholes in his explanation of how those two variables worked to fix her up, or he could just be completely wrong and it would have been either one of those items that did the trick. He didn't know. Either way, it had worked out alright.
Now, the only question to finally patch up the remainder of this happy reunion was to wonder where the fluff Oscar was. The idiot had been gone for over twenty minutes now. Just how difficult was it to pull down a gigantic lever when your strength was as Herculean as bloody Gough.
"Uh, William." Said undead sighed out in relief as he turned to ward the stairway.
"Finally, Oscar. Just what the hell took you so lo-"
"I migth need 'ur help onth again." The knight said, beaten, broken and held by the back of the neck by an uninspired Knight of Thorns.
"Ah shit." William said as Kirk dragged Oscar down the staircase to stand in front of a trio of Chaos Sisters.
He didn't know whether to wet his pants from fear or awe. Darkwraith Kirk was standing right in front of him, phantasmic body of barbed armor glowing deep scarlet and obsidian black.
I got the Latin text from Google Translate. Unfortunately, I never learnt the language in favor of being taught Dutch and Old Dutch. Sorry to any Latin word-monkey's I might have offended if I didn't get something correct.
Offhandedly, I'm thinking of writing Omake's at the end of a chapter every now and again. Is that a good idea or should I just stick with the normal stuff?