Isekai'd, My Posterior!
Izalith was… waterless. The atmosphere was… dreary. And yet, William was having the time of his life straddling Quelaag's waist and pressing himself against her straight, delicate and absolutely delicious spine.
Admittedly, it had taken less flirtation than he had imagined getting her to agree to the idea. Furthermore, the fact that she could climb walls on her steed whilst Quelana couldn't, was also what led to this glorious turn of events.
The topic of reverting little ole Cecil back to his original form was what had sparked the change of pace, and whilst the undead was glad that he could bask in the spicy scent of the Chaos Witch's perspiration, he had to admit that he was just a tad miffed that he could and would possibly die in the next few moments were his grip around her taut stomach to slip an inch.
After all, they were hanging from the rocky ceiling of Izalith's upper levels for pity sake.
Nevertheless, it was a nice way to get a bird's eye view of the ruin, especially since they were looking out for a particular monster that had spawned after clumsy Cecil had dropped his specially made ring of containment, otherwise known as the Orange Ring of Char – or something like that.
"Surprisingly, it's quite cool up here." William mused as his hair and Quelaag's twined together from the dry wind, creating a lovely spiral of silver and scarlet as the Chaos Witch rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time.
"You never stop talking. Do you?"
"Would I be any more adorable if I did?"
Quelaag considered his words for a moment before shrugging. "I suppose not."
William smiled. "Then endless chatterer, shall I be. Now, move on please."
She heeded his direction and scuttled along the curve of the great auburn walls surrounding them. It would have done them no good to walk on the ground floors due to the seas of lava coiling around occasional rock forms and holes where there should have been pathways. And as for the only areas not doused in sizzling magma, the abundance of demons both thin and long, and thick and broad stood garrison like discarded sex toys after the makings of an orgy between a quartet of monstrous beings who's sex drive was just as unquenchable as Goku's hunger on a Wednesday, if the plethora of love juice (a.k.a. volcanic emission) was any indication.
It was a sad sight to see the carefully crafted monuments and temples all destroyed and turned to rubble, but then again William imagined that it was better than seeing the fossilized corpses of her people lying around as a reminder of how her mother went Hulk on Lordran's ass.
"Are you certain we'll find it near the grand hall?" Quelaag quipped once they had crossed over another horde of demons and righted themselves against the left wall that led down to an expanse of bubbling, bone-melting volcanic broth.
"Absolutely positive. Quelie said something about it laying dormant near a flight of ancient stairs."
That was a bold-faced lie, but what Quelaag didn't know wouldn't ever hurt her.
The idea to wrought Cecil from the chains of his own stupidity had been William's idea, of course. However, the information of said idiotic brother and how to rectify his condition (which was again, caused by clumsiness), was all Quelana. During the walk to Quelaag's Domain and again in the presence of said Chaos Witch, the Milf had regaled to them both a solution to save their youngest family member – to which the undead had immediately accepted because he would get the chance to prematurely 'ride' Quelaag.
Additionally, there was a merit to William's perversion that did not end in him most likely getting laid with a busty redhead. Said merit was actually the treaty and alliance he had been originally aiming for from the time they had landed in Izalith.
And if he – and by extension, Oscar – possessed an alliance with Neo-Izalith, it meant that they had a veritable horde of their own demons to pit against the bosses Oscar would no doubt be facing very soon.
However, in order to actually achieve that goal, William needed to help Quelaag save Cecil. Which… actually wasn't so bad. Really. It could have been way worse. Like asking William to kill their megazoid mother made up of tree roots, oozing glowstick liquid and a pair of very painful fire scythes given corporeal form. Yeah… that would have been a lot wor-
"Woah!" William harked as he felt gravity unhook his knees from Quelaag's waist and begin to push him down into the thousand-and-something meter fall.
"Careful, it's precarious up here." The redhead warned and the undead scrambled to regain his comfortable grip, wrapping his legs tightly around her stomach before his hands grabbed whatever they could to prevent being thrown into the chasm below.
It was just a shame that at that moment he happened to grab onto quite the handholds.
Quelaag stiffened against him as he shut his eyes and squeezed all four of his limbs for dear life.
"What exactly are you playing at, human?" he heard her stern voice say to him and he opened his eyes to frown at her statement. What the hell did she mean by that?
"I suggest you remember who it is you're riding with before you decide to act lewdly."
The undead peeked over her shoulder as he managed to right his sitting position only to blink idiotically at his hands clutching onto her marvelous mounds.
"Oh.." he said and chuckled nervously at her pointed stare. "Sorry. I was just trying not to fall."
"And you thought touching my breasts were the best option to achieve this?" her crimson eyes glowed in the dim light as she stared into his soul.
"Well, if I had to be honest, they do make pretty good handholds."
He noticed the corner of her mouth quirk upward into a smirk and he grinned. She might have seemed pissed off, but she was totally enjoying this.
"And besides, when you keep them out in the open like that, how do you except me not to try my luck?"
She chuckled as they moved on, skirting around a waterfall of liquid fire and onto a horizontal plane of land connected to a stairway.
"You're quite the brave soul despite appearing so inane."
"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to flirt with me." William scoffed as she led them down the stairs, his hands never leaving her doughy flesh for a second.
"And it appears to be working, by the way you seem to be massaging me, that is."
The undead felt a jolt up his spine at that saucy smile she gave him. She was damn good at seduction.
"Can you blame me? They are some of the softest things my curious hands have ever touched."
Quelaag grinned, her perfect white teeth glittering.
"I'm glad to hear that," she said as her hands rose up… only to pry his greedy fingers off her chest to rest back at her hips, "but we will continue this only after my brother is turned back to his reclusive self."
William uttered out a sigh, despite his smile. She was also a tease, but he loved that about her. Who knew his odds of dancing horizontal tango with the most volatile of the Izalith Sisters would be the most probable?
"We're here." She said with a sterner tone and William looked over her shoulder to see the object they had been looking for, frozen against the side of a high wall.
The Centipede Demon.
It was an atrocious thing. Body of a worm, right arm of some type of volcanic crab, the stubby legs of Yoshi from Mario and let's not forget that crusty-ass tail. The undead did admit that when it was awake, the flames that served as its eyes was dope as hell, but other than that it was just one massively prehistoric disappointment as far as monsters went.
And an annoying pain in the scrotum when fighting it on NG4. Really, he didn't know why it was so much more of a hassle to kill on that specific playthrough.
Nevertheless, they were only here for its tail. And what lay inside said tail was what they were after. An easy job… hopefully.
Any Capri Demons that hung around the walkway were suspiciously absent, not that William was complaining. He was glad that their routine skull-polishing appointment had taken their sentry-like consciousness somewhere else.
"What now?" Quelaag asked as they stood above the petrified demon. It was a good question. What were they to do now? Wait for it to wake up? It's hide was tougher than lead and the only way to kill it was to hack at its legs until you nicked a blood vessel so that it could die from internal bleeding. Then again, this would be exponentially more difficult if it were to wake up.
Unless they performed surgery on it whilst it was unconscious.
"Tell me, is there magic in Cecil's ring?" William asked quizzically, making Quelaag frown in thought.
"Yes. How else would he have controlled his wild magic without an inhibitor?"
"Perfect. I need you to search for it."
Quelaag's frown deepened. "What, physically?"
"Sense the ring's magic." William corrected. "if you can find the signature, we can discover just where to cut this thing open to fish it out."
The redhead thought it over before nodding, closing her eyes and taking a small breath.
The Thief remained silent as she worked, not wanting to disturb her from her task for a second. After what felt like five minutes had passed with her just basking in the arid air, Quelaag's slitted crimson eyes opened and she smirked, turning to him before motioning for him to hold her tightly.
"I'm guessing you found it?" the undead offered hopefully and the Chaos Witch smiled wider, drawing her Furysword and beginning to climb down the frozen Centipede Demon.
"Lucky for us, its not too deeply imbedded into it's flesh. I need you to dig your hand into it after I make the appropriate incision."
"Sure…" William said pensively before turning back to Quelaag. "it's blood isn't made of lava like yours, is it?"
"And how do you know my blood is made of lava?" she asked in amusement.
"Process of elimination," William mouthed as they walked along the spinal cord of the Centipede Demon, gravity attempting to force them back onto level ground. "your arachnid half spits magma and is constantly on fire if the chaos flame behind me is any indication. By that, I just assumed that you would be made of the same stuff."
She flicked her hair out of her eyes as they descended to where the demon's tail met its torso before placing her blade in between the hard scale-like shell it possessed.
"How observant of you. I like intelligence in a man. Makes foreplay all the more enjoyable…" William jumped when she squeezed his thigh with her free hand. She was teasing him at a time like this?! Not that he minded at all, but if he lost his grip on her because of her dirty talk, he might fall to his death unceremoniously. And that was a mood killer worse than him going limp on her halfway through second base – not that he could or would ever do such a thing.
"P-Perhaps we should wait until after Cecil has been saved." He stuttered quietly and gently moved her hand off of him before he began to climb down from her spider half and grasp onto the demon's scales.
"Hmph." She licked her bottom lip but got back to the mission all the same, carefully cutting a deep line into the soft crevice of the Centipede Demon's body before wedging her blade into it and opening the wound deeper.
No blood or liquid escaped from its body. It was almost as if the thing was hollow on the inside. Even so, William reached out and grabbed Quelaag's free hand before climbing down to the open wound.
"Promise not to drop me." He said as she shoved his hand right into the hole she had made.
"Tch! As if I could. Should you fall, the ring would too. And should that item touch Izalith soil for a second time, an even more annoying demon would spawn. Believe me, that's the last thing either of us want right now."
The undead blinked a drop of sweat out of his eyes before nodding and wriggling his hand around the empty body of the Centipede Demon. This would almost be considered fisting if he wasn't doing it vertically and to a sexless demon no less.
"Ooh!" William suddenly said, his arm cautiously rotating around a peculiar spot inside the surprisingly cool insides of the beast.
"What? Did you find it?" Quelaag asked in excitement.
"Well, it has to be. Either that or I found this thing's phallus ring."
"Huh?" the Chaos Witch frowned.
"Nothing." William chuckled before he closed his hand around the object in question.
It distinctly felt like a ring, however; the webs of flesh holding it in place was an issue that kept him anchored against the ugly, spiked turd. Thinking fast. He gripped it and began to tug. At first, it didn't move so much as and inch. On the second tug, the undead began to feel it loosen slightly.
A grin lit his features as he continued, adjusting his grip on Quelaag's outstretched hand as he wrenched the ring out of the demon's body inch by inch. It took a bit of time, but eventually he could see his own fist grappling against just three more strands of dry flesh.
"Okay," William breathed, his being washed in sweat. "one more tug and its out. I need you to hold me tight."
"Don't pull too hard. If you end up swinging too far back, you'll sed us both tumbling to our deaths." She warned and he nodded in agreement before repositioning his feet to press against the demon's body.
On the count of three, William ripped the ring out of the Centipede Demon with a sound akin to a child pulling thick blades of grass from the soil below. The momentum of the tug forced him to lose his footing on the demon, making Quelaag grunt as she was forced forward, her free hand gripping onto the Thief's wrist tight.
"Ah! Ha!" he shouted in triumph.
"You did it," the Witch congratulated him, and William gazed up at her red hair that framed her cheeks and intensified her gaze. The breath in his throat caught as she offered him a cheeky smile. She really looked beautiful from this angle.
His daring eyes darted below her neck to see her luscious airbags dangling just thirty centimeters from his face. His eyes darkened with desire. She looked really beautiful from this angle.
"Eyes forward, human."
William blinked and looked at her wry grin before he adopted one of his own. Oh, he was definitely getting laid today.
"Be a doll and pull me up, why don't you."
"Aw, But I like you so much better when you beg for help." She countered before they both shared a laugh.
Unfortunately, it was as she was lifting his body back up that one of her sharp nails happened to dig a trench into his forearm, fatefully piercing his nerve, causing his hand to go limp and slip through her fingers.
"Ahhh!"
"William!" she screamed and snapped her hand forward as he fell.
"Ooogh!" he flinched as three more of her nails impaled his hand but kept him in place. He let out a nervous pant before his eyes accidentally looked down.
"HOLY SHIT! Don't let g0! Dontletgo! DO NOT LET GO!" the undead screeched as his acrophobia kicked him, forcing his body to freeze up and his legs to flounder uselessly in midair.
"Gwyn's sake, stop being a baby," Quelaag muttered as she began to hoist him up again. "I've got a solid hold on you. I'm not going to drop-"
RRIIIPPP
" GAHHHHHHHHH!" William wheezed as he fell.
"-You." Quelaag blinked at the undead falling in slow motion before her eyes. She looked back at the hand she had used to hold him only to see large chunks of his flesh stuck onto her blood-stained nails. The sound of his body impacting with an island of dry land made a loud crunching sound, making her wince before looking down at his prone form.
"Oops."