AUTHOR'S NOTE: Many thanks to Tim for giving his permission for his chapter to be posted here.
GALLIFREY IDOL by Tim
INQUISITOR: Hang on, we have a new judge arriving!
DOCTOR: Great, maybe we can finally get this farce back on track.
(the door to the court room opens and a familiar man in black enters)
DOCTOR: SIMON COWELL?
(Simon takes his seat at the head of the court room)
INQUISITOR: What is the judgment, Your Honour?
SIMON: This is perfectly dreadful!
DOCTOR: Who me?
SIMON: All of you! This episode is pathetic, my blind grandmother can write better than this crap!
DOCTOR: Now see here you...
SIMON: No, you see here. This is stupid, the writing is stupid, this whole idea is stupid. Whomever wrote this stuff should be banished from television for all time!
(Simon gets up and slams a gavel down)
SIMON: I hearby declare this trial over, because, frankly, I have better things to do with my time.