A/N: Shoudl I write another chapter? Or should I leave it like this? Keep in mind, jsut because you suggest another chapter doesn't mean I'll write it... soon, that is. You never know when an Alex muse will hit...
Every day when I come into work, I feel them all look at me and I know they don't hate me, but I know they compare me to him. Whether they mean to or not. I can understand it, sure. It still hurts.
Sometimes they talk about him, say things that he used to do or some joke he'd told. Little things really, but it shows me how much he was and how much he meant to them. I feel like I'm standing in clown shoes, in the aspect that they're so big. I try as hard as I can, but I know I'll never live up to what he was. I don't mind that, it just gets frustrating sometimes that they can't accept me the way I am.
A week or so ago, we were all working none stop on this child molester case. I had gone up to the crib to take my thirty and when I woke up, there was someone sitting on a chair. From pictures I'd seen, I knew it was him, but I couldn't understand why I was seeing him if he was dead.
Well I must have looked confused as hell because he nodded over to the nearby table and stood, giving me a little smile before leaving the room. Standing, I approached the table, seeing a small piece of paper on it's surface. Picking it up, I read, "Don't try to fill in my shoes. Just make sure yours fit."
I read it over several times before slipping it into my pocket and going downstairs, feeling considerably better. He really was as cool as they said and I felt blessed to have received something from him. I still have that piece of paper, sitting on my desk actually. Fin asked me about it and all I could say was, "A little birdie gave it to me."
The look in my eyes must have told him all he needed to know because he smiled and I think that was one of our best days. All because of this man I had never met in life, only as an angel.