"The fact that I an apostate has not been enslaved by demons must be quite vexing enchanter…" Solas taunts Vivienne as we explore the Hinterlands, searching for some bears for some odd side quest.
"Not at all darling. You clearly have an exceptional gift for the fade," Vivienne counters.
"You flatter me," Solas remarks.
"I'm far more surprised that you haven't been murdered by terrified villagers wielding pitchforks," Vivienne smirks smugly as I notice Eve sigh, deciding not to involve herself since her attempt at stopping this will be futile.
"Yes locking all the mages in towers, threatening the with Templars must certainly kept them safe," Solas scoffs.
"It did until a rogue apostate destroyed Kirkwall's chantry and started a fight most mages did not want. It also didn't help that some outside knife ear thought it best to root those foolish enough to fight back against the Templars and cause more life's to be lost than saved…" Vivienne points out as briefly I flinch, feeling a pair of eyes on me as a twitch of anger flows through me as I increase my pace, wanting to get far from that snob before I deck her in the face.
Your circle was a tightly boiled lid on a clamped pot. It held for a while but unless you look inside, it all seemed fine and everyone feigns surprise when it finally bursts…" Solas silences her making me sigh relieved and slightly grateful for Solas.
Fed up, I continue rushing forward.
"Fen? You…FEN that's a bear!" Eve screams panicking as I feel the adrenaline flow through me and charge ahead, numbing my senses as the mighty large bears roar and my body begins to glow and my blood begins to boil…
Loudly, I cackle fed up as I charge ahead first into the three great bears we were meant to vanquish together but instead, I…well I simply impaled them with my lyrium arms and got the bear claws…blood coated all over me as I turn back to the freed out group, my eye twitching.
"Any other bitchy comments you want to make Vivienne, I'm sure I can bear with it," I smile challenging the bitch as she goes silent, staring morbidly at me as I simple smile and headed back to Skyhold.
Loudly, the tavern roar as I cradle my head cursing at yet another hellish journey through the hinterlands and we have started storm coast, only for me to be subjected to once again, the mages arguing, can't they just be quiet for one minute even they just…urgh. I need a drink, grumbling, I take a gulp of my liquor from my flask, trying to remain clam and enjoy the festive crowd of the pub. Hyper, Sera cheers loudly as I notice her and Krem eyeing the only woman apart from me who hasn't shagged Bull in this place and that's the bard, yeah maybe I should warn Krem, Sera probably knows about the bard business but Krem I don't know…
Laughing, Bull sits down next to us.
"So you're little Fen's brother," Bull begins.
"And if I am…" My brother raises a brow sceptical.
"I can see the resemblance," Bull smirks.
"Really what gave it away the hair?" I ask sarcastically.
"Or the bright blue marks that were burned into our skin…?" My brother adds on darkly silencing the awkward Bull.
"Um…I heard from Varric you and your crew took down a high dragon," Bull attempts to change topic, a wise move.
"Yes. Hawke was fascinated with them," Fenris grumbles.
"I just wanted a day off…" I mutter recalling that exhausting day with those annoying lizard babies nipping at us, with a hangover of a lifetime.
"I think I could like this Champion," Bull smirks.
"No way in hell are you meeting her…" Together, my brother and I chorus.
"So…Eve benched you because you avoided punching the abomination in the face," My brother frowns as he drinks the beer, only to recoil in disappointment.
"This is shit," Fenris complains.
"I know right that's what I said. You sort of just get used to the downgrade though," I shrug as we sip the weak drinks.
"So since we're alone, mind telling me of this meaningful relationship talk with Hawke…?" My brother questions as briefly, I feel myself choke on my drink as I cough, desperately trying to regain breathe as my brother attempts to help me.
Huh…? I sigh regaining my breathe and turning to him.
"Fen do not lie to me. Where did this talk come from? Did you meet someone?" My brother's eyes narrow as I feel his wrath emit from his angered body language.
"Not really, I offered this guy either a kiss or one night stand, he went for kiss and started going on about a meaningful relationship? What's so different about my previous relations?" I question puzzled.
"The difference is you wish to spend the REST of your life with this person, you'll be stuck with them, trapped with them," My brother warns me gravely.
"T-trapped…." Shakily I stutter in fear of his intense words.
"That's right you have to make sure he won't leave or else you'll be in pain for the rest of your life…" My brother cautions me.
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Okay," Terrified, I release a shaky smile feebly lifting up my shaking mug as my brother clicks it with his own.
"Oh dear god. What have I done? My entire life, no more flings, no more one night stands, no more fun. Why would you do that to yourself?" I question my brother baffled by the sheer idea of abandoning my youth and fun.
"Because of love," My brother smiles as I feel a sense of irritation flow through me as I stare at my brother's gentle gaze on his drink…
"Love?" I question softly, never having seen my brother with such a soft tender vulnerable look, since the birth of Robin and when hanging out with Hawke.
"You just know when you meet them, that's the person you'll sacrifice everything for, give your life for, love for the rest of your life," My brother whispers as I go silent, my brow furrowed feeling a sense of confidence in my brothers words…is love truly that powerful to change who you are for that person?
"So who is it?" My brothers darkly growl which interrupts my deep thinking as I look up at him and smile uneasily.
"No one," I respond.
"Oh really then why is it that you suddenly stating speaking of this topic? You never had an interest in it before, hell you were the one who told me not to give Hawke a chance, you constantly said how I screwed myself over by pinning myself to one person…" My brother argues.
"That was because she was a mage and we had planned to leave Kirkwall…besides its boring going with the same person over and over," I argue.
"Not if you're in love," My brother smirks confidently.
"Tch whatever…" I scoff at the naïve answer.
"Fen we need you, you okay now?" I hear Eve call out to me unsure.
"I was fine before," I sigh.
"Fen you impaled a bear," Eve reminds me.
"Vivienne was unbearable…" I argue sipping more of my drink, dead faced as my brother along with Eve groans.
"Why are you making these puns?" She complains.
"Because I can!" I declare proudly.
"Well let's go," My brother stands making me frown.
"Wait what…?" I stare baffled.
"I'm coming with you," My brother states the fact.
"Why?" I question puzzled.
"I need a breather and maybe find the man who caused you to think this way…" My brother smirks.
"You know most brothers would convert me to the chantry…" I mutter.
"I may not like the chantry but that doesn't mean I'll give them a bomb waiting to go off…" My brother smirks as he follows Eve out of the tavern as I reluctantly stand.
"Urgh…what have I gotten myself into?" I curse and leave, leaving the money owed to the chargers….
Calmly, we explore the terrain of storm coast just after visiting the coast, my blues exploring the beautiful scenery before me as my ears listen to the faint roar of the tidal waves of the sea, brushing and clashing against one another as the cool brisk air greets me once more, my body shivering from the bad memory as my eyes darken at a familiar beach of sorts where the water meets the land, teasingly touching it now and again as some of the smooth rough grey pebbles lay, waiting patiently to be scooped up by the water and taken away to who knows where….
Seems we're here to deal with darkspawn as Eve mentioned.
"You knew the champion?" Curious, Cassandra questions as we roam the storm coast, my nose twitching at the salty scent of the sea and warmth air from the rainfall and such.
"You read Varric's book, you know the answer," My brother responds bluntly.
"I did. Why are you not with her when she arrived?" Cassandra enquires.
" Varric and my sister went missing. We could cover more ground by splitting up," Fenris answers.
"Be still my heart! I always knew you two loved me, Broody. And the seeker thought no one would notice our disappearance!" Varric chuckles triumphal.
"I think I would notice if my sister went missing. Hawke doesn't abandon friends. Neither do I." Fenris states the fact.
"Aw my brother cares how cute," I tease lightly.
"Fasta Vass," y brother curses making me chuckle.
Our brotherly sister moment sadly is cut short by the familiar shriek of darkspawn, great. I draw out my daggers forming into a bow.
"Think you can handle it?" I smirk teasingly at my brother.
"You underestimate me?" My brother raises a brow slowly drawing his blade.
"Fatherhood can change a person," I smirk and leap abck as my brother hcarges ahead siwnign at them acitng as the tank.
"What's he doing?" Eve questions baffled by my brother's fighting style.
"He's a tank, he can fight fine," I argue as I deliver a few arrows at the darkspawn as they direct their focus onto Fenris until eventually we defeat them, crossing another side quest off of Eve's list as she notes.
"Hey Fenris, I notice you and Fennic often use words similar lie Kaffas what do they mean?" Curious Eve question as we finish looting and head away from the darkspawn to focus on another side quest.
"Why not ask the abomination?" My brother deflects.
"Which one?" Eve question puzzled annoyance hinted in her turn, turning to me.
"The blood mage," I grumble as we continue onwards clearing up a few rifts and quests on the way.
"I am curious to know how you know some phrases of Tevene, not many do…" Dorian queries as my eyes narrow.
"We picked some up slaying your people," Sharply I interrupt scowling silencing the curious fool.
"What was it like? Fighting by her side?" Cassandra questions intrigued as I sigh.
"Often Absurd. Hawke attracted trouble like no one I've ever met," Fen mutters.
"She…she certainly made things interesting," I shrug uneasily.
"What do you mean?" Cassandra requests.
"She threw me at a dragon," I answer.
"She did what!?" Eve and Cassandra responds.
"Yeah it was a dare to see what would happen if we threw a lyrium projectile at a dragon…" Fenris shrugs casually.
"And the results?" Cassandra questions.
"Pain," I respond darkly…
Awkwardly, we wander through storm coast, my brow furrowing when I notice my brothers dark glares and glowers towards Solas, who remains unfazed and stoic.
"How about we take a break?" Eve offers as we set up camp and my eye thin as I make sure to seperate Solas and my brother.
"Mind telling me you're sudden interest in me?" Sols raises a brow.
"What are you talking about?" I huff.
"Well considering you've been trying to isolated your brother from me I'm curious," Solas confesses.
"Well, if you hadn't noticed, he doesn't particularly like you," I sigh.
"Really? I thought those death glares he gave me were a friendly welcome," Solas exclaims, sarcasm evident in his tone.
"Look my brother doesn't really like…." I trail off trying to find a kinder word for the abomination.
"Apostates," Sharply, Solas answers.
"Yeah, I'm warning you," I shrug.
So you're concerned?" Teasingly he smirks as I scowl at the ass, feeling a hint of heat from his cocky smirk.
"No I just don't want to clean up a dead body while dealing with a sobbing Eve, she's such a cry-baby…"I mutter as we stand up and continue onwards through the awkward silence.
"Fenris is not the name you were born with," Solas breaks it as I stare at him panicked of his next words.
"Was Solas yours?" My brother counters coldly.
"I seem to have offended you somehow," Solas notes lightly.
"Don't take it personally, Chuckles. He's always like this with new people," Varric chuckles.
"He isn't wrong," I agree.
"You're not the first apostate I've met," Fenris states.
"I see. Tell me Fen spoke of her lacking memories do you note much of your past, if so I could look into the fade and-"
"No," Harshly, my brother and I chorus surprising Solas.
"But have you ever wondered what your life was before, Fenris? Fennic?" Solas questions us making us both grimace recalling our last attempt on resulting in more pain….
"Knowing what little we do now brought us no peace," Fennic answers for us.
"I have walked the fade long enough that I might help you learn more of it, if you so choose…." Solas offers.
"Dirthara-ma," My brother scowls as I turn away.
"Solas stop. Something's are better left forgotten than brought back," I state head down as the silence around us thickens.
"…I see your point," Solas sighs although I notice the conflict in his eyes and tone, his eyes lingers on me as we head back to Skyhold…
Quietly, I sit in my room, still and silent as I release a tired sigh. Trying to suppress my emotions from prior at the brief flashes of memories of him, I'd rather not witness only as I do, those snobs words to ring out in my mind…
"It also didn't help that some outside knife ear thought it best to root those foolish enough to fight back against the Templars and cause more life's to be lost than saved!"
"Cause more life's to be lost than saved!"
"More lives lost…"
Shaking, I look down at my quivering hands wide eyed only to scowl as I force my hand not trembling up, only to find it baled up fists as I glare daggers at shaking pair. I never wanted this, I never wanted to do what I did, I never wanted a war to happen…I…unsteadily, my fingertips automatically grasp hold of a familiar bottle as I down the substance, relishing the burning pain in my throat, enjoying the raw fire of the drink of sorts as I close my eyes, one of my shaking hands, trying to cover my eyes as I release a low groan, trying to ignore everything as I then cradle my head in my hands.
"I thought I'd find you here" The peaceful voice of Solas greets me as he gently places his hand on my shoulder.
"What do you want?" I frown.
"You seemed troubled, I thought to give you space for a while…" Solas notes.
"Solas…I… Tell me Solas, what would you do if you caused a war you never wanted to…?" I question.
Solas goes silent, his head down as he releases a breath after a few minutes in deep thought.
"I….I don't know," Solas turns away as I glance at Solas, briefly seeing the raw conflict and genuine sympathy in his eyes, heck maybe even empathy much to my surprise.
"Solas…I never wanted to…" I begin pained.
"What you did was needed. The towers were a prison for mages you freed them…" Solas assures me as I frown, head down in shame.
"I caused death…" I dismiss his head, my voice grave.
"No you didn't. You saved more lives than Vivienne realizes. Never let what that close minded fool believe effect you," Solas informs me as I scowl.
"What I did…"
"You did what you had to. You were at the wrong place at the wrong time and did what those mages needed, if you hadn't the circles wouldn't have risen up and they wouldn't be free…." Solas reassures me as I stare at him, not sure what to say as he holds me.
"Freedom…I…" Defeated, I bow my head as Solas leans in, my head lays on his shoulder as he brings me into his lap of sorts, earning a brief flinch but he quickly eases me with his gentle caresses as together, we simply lay with one another, trying to calm down from the mental fatigue and wariness of the world…