"I get the feeling you don't like me much," Bianca comments whispers as we make it to the next door she is meant to open, my eyes narrow at the key she picks up.
"I don't…hate you necessarily I just worry over Varric he's been through enough," I explain to Bianca.
"You think I don't know that?" She scowls at me as I feel my brow twitch.
"You may know that but if you did that just makes you even more selfish by showing up here and reminding him of the person he so cherished was lost to him…" Coldly, I remark making her frown.
"I didn't have a choice," She argues as I scoff.
"You did. You always had a choice you chose to marry due to the fear of being out casted or the fear of the outside world, take your pick. But I don't care all I care for is Varric's well-being…" I whisper silencing her as her head bows down in thought of my words as she steps forward, boasting about how she made these passages due to the rivalries of the merchant guilds.
"You know for someone with your tact and charisma you assembled a pretty good inquisition. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you didn't drag them all here by force," Varric smirks.
"How kind of you," Cassandra growls bitterly.
"I mean you never know you could have kidnapped ruffles and she'd be too blind to say anything," Varric exclaims.
"Leliana recruited Josephine. There…friends," Cass says.
"So there is a rational explanation after all. And just when I thought you had layers," Varric teases.
"If you ignore the silent threats of death to their loved ones sure," I remark jokingly.
"Leliana has actually gotten better, much more softer in a good way," Eve smiles hopeful as I shrug, not particularly caring as we continue going down the steps only to bump not another horde of enemies, which we quickly defeat thankfully due that stairs being our advantage as Cassandra blocks their path and if one escapes, I end them with a blade to the throat while the others fire at those charging upwards on to the stairs.
"It makes sense that Leliana did the recruiting when the inquisition started. Not everyone can be intimidated to be singing up after all," Varric gathers.
"I recruited Commander Cullen," Cass begins.
"Lucky him," Varric mutters sarcasm evident in his tone.
"He has made no complaints about my manners," Cass defends.
"His last boss was a raving lunatic who turned into a statue that's not a high bar…" Varric jokes.
"Don't forget she could also summon those weird ass statues…" I grumble at the memory.
"You remember that?" Varric raises a brow impressed.
"Nah just wanted to confirm if that was real or I was too plastered and imagined them," We falter into the room when making it to a door.
"After you…there you are," Bianca smirks kneeling down to reveal a familiar key making me frown as she uses it to open the final door, I'm guessing, more like hoping…especially with these red lyrium rocks around, nervously, I stare down at the jagged red rocks feeling a sense of uneasiness.
"They won't be able to use this entrance ever again," Bianca smirks as I see Varric's frown.
"Bianca," Frowning Varric calls out to her.
"They had your key! You're the leak!" Eve accuses as a small smirk crosses my lips at the thought, only to frown when I glance at Varric seeing his hurt and conflicted expression.
"Varric…" Concerned, I call out to him.
"How did they get a copy?" Eve questions frowning.
"Well…funny story. When I got the location I went and had a look for myself. And I found the red lyrium and I studied it…" Bianca tells us.
"You know what it does to people!" Varric frowns at her.
"I was doing you a favour. You want to know how much this stuff works as much as I do. I just…wanted to figure things out," Bianca exclaims.
"How did you go from studying red lyrium to getting in contact with Corypheus?" Eve asks.
"I found out that red lyrium…it has the blight Varric you know what that means?" Bianca answers.
"What? Two deadly things combined you want something super awful?" Varric remarks.
"Lyrium is alive! Or…something like it blight doesn't infect minerals only animals. I couldn't get anywhere on my own so I looked for a grey warden mage blight expertise and what and I found this guy Larius…" Bianca defends herself.
"Wait Larius!?" I scowl as Bianca frowns.
"Yeah…" She responds as I frown at her not realizing what she has done by contacting that ass, I spare a look at Varric, only to frown when seeing his pained expression.
"He seemed really interested in helping my research so I gave him a key," Bianca sighs.
"And he didn't seem dodgy to you not at all!?" I gawk at the girl stupidity levelling the demented man, faintly as the man who got Hakes family into this whole mess and the reason for Hawke having lost her father at such a young age.
"Larius, he was the grey warden we met at Corypheus…ah shit. That's how he survived," Varric scowls glancing at me.
"I didn't realize until you said you found red lyrium at Haven. I came here and well…then I went to you," Bianca reveals as Eve frowns demanding for answers.
"That name mean something to you two?" Eve glances at Varric and I as we share a look and nod.
"He was at the grey warden prison where we found Corypheus…" Varric begins.
"He definitely wasn't a mage, honestly I thought we had killed him, seems Corypheus gave him some extra tricks," I finish as we turn to frown at Bianca.
"You knew we'd find out so why lead us here?" Eve enquires.
"Varric told me what people were doing with red lyrium. I…I had to help make this right," Bianca sighs as I shake my head, I know she was trying to help but just rugh…" Bianca answers.
"You told Varric you had a lead and used us to fix your mistake!" Eve scowls at her.
"I know I screwed up but we did fix it. It was right as I can make it, Bianca argues.
"This isn't one of your machines. You can't just make a part and make everything right," Varric snaps at her.
"No but I can try can't I? Or am I supposed to wallow in my mistakes forever, kicking myself telling stories on what I should have done," Bianca huffs.
"Hah as if I would tell stories about my own mistakes," Varric scoffs.
"Enough what's done is done. There's no point in arguing about it," I utter.
"Urgh…we done all we can here. Bianca you better get home before…someone misses you," Bitterly, Varric huffs.
"Varric…" Bianca calls out in concern as I look worriedly at my friend, pained to see him hurt.
"Don't worry about it," Forcefully, Varric smiles.
"Varric," Sighing, I glance back at Bianca, head bowed down as I follow after Varric while the others patiently wait for Eve…
Sighing, I approach the sullen figure that is Varric, leaning against my bed as Hawke lets the sorrowful Varric lean on her comforting him. "Mind if I join in?" I ask making the two turn to me who shrug as I sit down cross legged on the floor by them joining in, leaning on my bed, watching the human hug the dwarf. If Fenris hadn't warned me prior of them being in there I would have freaked out, it's a shame my brother couldn't make it then again he's tending to the napping Robin, making sure she gets her daily training with the sword and then having a small nap. Still though, I feel my heart clench pained at the sight of the happy go lucky storyteller now looking sorrowful, dejected and in pain as he lies on Hawke's lap. Gently, she caresses his back trying to comfort the heartbroken dwarf.
"You…you were right she's nothing but bad news Hawke, Fen you were both right," Varric sighs in defeat sorrow evident in his tone as I close the door behind me and approach the two, my back sliding down from my bed to lean against it once more, joining them in this sorrow fest.
"Wait you remember that?" I raise a brow surprised that he does.
"Of course I bloodied did…." Varric mutters.
"Varric…"Hawke calls out worried.
"Why does it hurt? Why does it have to hurt so much? Putting on this smile and…she tricked me, used me…I should have known," Varric whispers sorrowfully, his grip tightening on Hawke as she comforts him.
"She isn't worth your tears Varric.…"Hawke reasons to him.
"I just I…" Varric trials off lost, never has he cried before any of us until now.
"You don't need to explain it, it's only harder…." Hawke advises him.
"Why does love have to be so painful…loving something you can't have…?" Varric whispers.
"Because love is cruel but Varric you'll find your happiness out there, I know it," Hawke comforts him as he leans against her. Exhaling, I stand up, approaching the wall and smile as I bring out a familiar bottle.
"Come on, I think you deserve it after today," I smile showing him the bottle. Defeated, he bows his head nodding as we all take a sip, Hawke hesitating of course.
"Oh come on you've had your kid you can drink again!" I cheer as she smiles and takes the bottle, taking a sip as we all calmly stare out at the wall of my room….
"I am not good at dealing with shit like this!" Varric sighs, head bowed down in shame as I sigh, shaking my head at him as I take a sip of the bottle pleased as I feel a familiar burning stinging sensation in my throat, similar to the drinks back at the hanged man.
"No one is, you can't deal with shit forever I mean look at me and Hawke, we don't deal with shit at all great," I bring up.
"She isn't wrong when….when I was alone. I had no one, I…if Fen hadn't found me there…"Hake whispers sorrowfully, pain evident in her eyes, recalling all those she lost, her family, her mother, her brother and sister…
"Hey remember our sleepovers though who would have thought Isabela's idea would work out in the end," I offer trying to be supportive.
If you mean you guys attempts at comforting me, then yeah they did help I mean, Fenris giving me a bottle of wine, Anders offering me to pet his cat, you and Isabella taking me out to drink, keeping an eye on me and letting me bawl my eyes out with Varric back home…" Hawke smiles sadly at the memories.
"Of course we did, you're family Hawke," Varric reasons to the tearful woman.
"You guys are amazing I mean it," She bows her head, gratitude evident in her shaky tone.
"Yeah we are," I smirk.
"But I mean…If Cassandra hadn't dragged me here, I'd be in Kirkwall right now, pretending none of this was happening," Varric confesses sorrowfully as my grip tightens on my bottle.
"You make it sound as though you're the only one," I note.
"What do you mean?" Varric questions.
"You think I wouldn't have done that, Varric if Cassandra hadn't interrogated you and Leliana hadn't convinced me to join. I wouldn't even be in Kirkwall, I had planned to leave Kirkwall," I confess.
"You serious?" Hawke questions surprised.
"Yeah, I mean Fenris had left with Hawke starting their new life, leaving me behind to start a new chapter for me. I had planned to leave, take up that offer Zev mentioned…" I smirk wryly at the memory, feeling my body turn sluggish as I feel a slight buzz in the air.
"You're kidding," Varric says.
"It was either that or join Isabela on her ship and I don't know about you but there is a limit to my mid night adventures," I reason, taking another sip of the liquid, smiling as I enjoy the burning warmth flowing through my veins.
"Varric you're not alone. I wouldn't be here, I'm not noble, I'm no hero, I'm just me, a runaway slave trying to survive and make ends meet, still haunted by the memories and dreams of that bastard…whoa I think I'm drinking a bit much, anyone want any?" I offer sheepishly.
"Wait…are you still?" Hawke questions with a concerned Varric.
"Who wants some liquor!?"I offer desperate for change of topic.
"Fen!" Hawke calls out as I collapse. I hear the others sigh, taking the glass from my grip to instead take a sip from it themselves.
"Hawke I…" Varric begins once again as I play dead.
"Don't even think of thanking me this is because you two were there for me when I needed it most when I failed to…"Hawke whispers softly, her tone wobbling slightly.
"Hey, hey no need for the tears come on," Varric smiles forcefully trying to wipe those stray tears away.
"Hey don't do the force smile on me," Together the two attempt to cheer each other up as I sigh.
"You're both dumbasses, you both need to cry," I snap making them go silent until they both smile as well as cry.
"What is wrong with your faces?" I question baffled and the pair shake their heads at me.
"I can't wait for when our little fox realizes she's in love," Hawke chuckles.
"Hey I'm not in love," I argue.
"You say that but chuckles certainly has taken a liking to you," Varric smirks.
"Please as if that nerd could chain me down," I scoff.
"We'll see...we'll see," Together we all smile, leaning against one another as we enjoy the brief bliss of one another's ease, all of us hurt seeking comfort in one another's pain.