A/N: Remember how I mentioned before that ALL the people on the Ross school newspaper (except Britannia and me) are incompetent and can't do ANYTHING right? Well, they also can't stay home when ill. And one of them gave EVERYONE on the Newspaper staff the flu. Now I can't let any sort of bug get me down, so I'm sitting, sick, in bed with my laptop typing this. Britannia, on the other hand, is very, very, very sick still and sends her apologies, she can't update, so this is mainly to Beth, lol. Anywhoo, the polls are left at a tie, and they're closed. So I asked my Mom for the tie breaker, and that's the name. Thanks to all that voted! The support is greatly appreciated! I won't tell the name until Brad and Dana talk about it, hahaha. lol So that's my news, here's chapter 11...

--Lizzie--

Chapter 11: Church, Arguments, Mom Stands Up For Me, and Gender News

I awoke to the monotonous buzzing sound of the alarm clock. It was Sunday, and the day I was pretty sure everyone in the congregation would find out about the baby, because I couldn't very well hide it now. I didn't think much of what they thought, I figured they wouldn't care, at least that's what I thought until I got there.

Dressing for church was always a big deal at my house. You absolutely have to wear semi-formal clothes, you know, Sunday clothes. I went into the kitchen, in the midst of people in suits and pearls.

"Hey," Mom said sweetly, of course, Mom could've been hopping mad and she'd still say Hey like that.

"Hey," I said looking at Dad, who was reading the paper and rotating his coffee mug.

We all stood in the kitchen silently until it was time to leave. Again, I didn't give the congregation's reactions a second thought. Maybe I should have…

Arriving there was the bad part. Mom walked up to the people we usually chit chat with before the service with me, and I think all of their mouths hit the ground in unison. See, this is a group of majorly uptight woman, you've got Cecilia, the elderly woman with the bird on her hat, Violet, the more modern one but still just as uptight, Alyssa, the one who's Mom's age but doesn't by any sort support her decision of waiting until I was seventeen before they got married, and I frigging knew she wasn't going to support the decision of me having a child at nineteen, and last you have Cornelia the bane of my existence.

She and I have this ongoing rivalry that started years ago, and it didn't help she tried to scam on Brad either. Thankfully he hates her, so her scaming attempt failed. And luckily he doesn't know she and I know each other. Anyway, Cornelia Mackenzie Beauregard-Stephens-Black-Marshall-Cummings (her mother had many husbands, and was never sure which one was her father. Nice, I agree.) is the main reason people lack self confidence. If you had any, she'd make sure to rob you of it. Once, I changed the way my hair looked, actually, to how it looks now, kind of layered, and I have bangs off to the left side, and it's still dark brown, and she had to say something to me about it, so she says, 'Oh, Dana, you changed your hair. I hope you fired the stylist, or at least blackballed them. One look at your head and no one would go to them again.'

Ouch, I liked how my hair looked nice, and suddenly I didn't. That's how she works, she and I are almost the same age, I think she might be twenty…but anyway, we've known each other for as long as I can remember, and hated each other the same amount of time. And to make things worse, she's Daphne Beauregard-Phillip-Evans-Stephens-Black-Marshall-Cummings-Filmore-Carlson-Arbor's daughter, now this woman is even worse than Cornie if that's even possible. Daphne leads a group of haters, they hate all people who aren't plastic and haven't been married at least four times, and you're looked down upon if you haven't been married six, and being married nine very well makes her the queen. She even had Elizabeth Taylor beat, and Daphne was currently married to a new person whom she hadn't added to her list of last names yet, but it won't be long before he's on the Dumped by Daphne list.

"My, my, myyyy," Mrs. Cecilia Hassenhoff said when she saw me.

"Hello, Cecilia," Mom said as if she didn't hear her.

"Wow, Um…Dana, we weren't aware of your condition. Are you married?"

I looked at everyone in the group, none seemed to be waiting on my answer as much as ole Cornie, not even Cecilia who had asked me. Cornelia was leaned forward eagerly waiting for my answer, my first instinct was to say, 'No…' but from Cornie's expression I wanted nothing more than to say, 'Of course, Mr. Bradley S. Windsor and I are happily married,' and see her seriously eat sidewalk, but something about that made me want to say, 'No, he and I just had a fling, and now I have a baby,' she'd eat sidewalk just as fast, but so would all the other refined church attending women Mom was trying to impress, so I looked at Mom who's expression didn't tell me to lie, or to tell the truth, so I just said, "Not yet."

Gasp went three mouths, the only one who's didn't was Cornelia's. She leaned back from her leaned position and cackled to herself, "I knew it, I just knew it." she said still laughing

"Knew what?" Mom said, and Mom didn't sound like she was happy about this, nope, she sounded mad.

"Well, Keely, it does figure, I mean her family life is so modern, no one gets married until their children are legally adults, she wasn't raised in an uptight family atmosphere, the only way she could turn out is like a whore." Alyssa said

Now it was Mom's turn to gasp, I did too, sort of. I would have to get used to this, I was more hurt than shocked, though. Now, insulting Mom was never smart, but if you insult someone Mom loves or cares about, it's like greeting Hades himself, I'm telling you she was mad, and not your average mad, I'm talking hopping mad. Her green eyes narrowed, and she said very sternly, "Excuse me, but you've gone way to far, my daughter is not a whore, and her family atmosphere wouldn't be to blame even if she was." Mom glared at Alyssa and Cornie, "Now, insulting me and my daughter is by far not what why we're here today, and for someone who has not done anything to deserve such degrading, I suggest you listen to Pastor Phillips and pray you're forgiven for what you've said to my daughter," Mom put her arm around me and guided me inside.

I wanted nothing more than to go home, I didn't want to be near any of these people right now. I couldn't believe Alyssa had said that in front of Cornelia of all people. I mean her mother had been married nine times, and couldn't identify which of the four she'd been married to around the time Cornelia was born was Cornie's father! I seriously didn't know what to do, Mom sat next to me silently as the pews were being filled, and Dad joined us shortly after that.

"What did I miss?" he said as he slid in next to Mom.

"Oh, it's a lonnnng story." she said huffily.

"D…?"

"I don't want to talk about," I said

"Okaaaaaay…" Dad said as he watched Pastor Phillips pace around near the podium.

Pastor Phillips is an average height with a bald head, except for the hair he has on the sides and the back of his head anyway which is brown, he wears square rimmed glasses and I've never seen him in any clothes but his purple cassock, and his ivory cross around his neck. Pastor Phillips is also very loud, surprisingly. He never needs a microphone, all though he always has one, he could easily do the entire sermon without one, and everyone could hear him.

Brad slid in next to me and startled me, "Hey."

"Hi," I answered not really paying attention to him, I was watching Miss Beauregard-Phillip-Evans-well, you know, Daphne. She was sashaying down the main aisle like she owned the place, with Nikki, Vikki, Rikki, and Mikki in tow. I scoffed and rolled my eyes as the esteemed Cornie proceeded down the aisle after her.

Brad followed my narrowed eyed stare to them and said, "Who are they?"

"The five most divorced women from Hell,"

"Ah…, Why does that one look so familiar?" He said nodding towards Daphne

"Oh because she looks like that." I said nodding towards Cornelia.

"Arrrg!" He said looking away quickly.

"Oh, you recognize her?" I said in a very ' Oh my Godd, No Way' voice.

"Yes, that was the scary chick who tried to force herself on me at Donovan's wedding last year,"

I pretended to be 'so' surprised, so I gasped and said, "She did? Well what did you do?"

"Nothing, told her I was involved, and that didn't stop her so I was forced to tell her I was married,"

"Really? To whom?"

"You."

Well, there ya go, that's why Cornelia's gone out of her way lately to humiliate me, she was SO steamed he didn't want her, but it made it ten times worse because he didn't want her because he's with me. Oh, sweet vengeance. This had to be the best day ever. Brad turned down Cornelia because of ME! This was fabulous, I was officially on sunshine baby, yeah.

"Seriously? You said, 'I'm married to Dana Mandy Diffy,'"

"Well I didn't say your middle name, but yeah, I said you."

"MA-HA!" I said, louder than I had intended to, then I cleared my throat and said, "So, was that the last you heard of her?"

"Yes, thankfully,"

After that, Pastor Phillips began the sermon, when church was over, we all congregated (haha) outside while everyone formed sub groups and talked, before going home. I was standing with Dad, Mom, and Brad when guess who comes strolling over.

"Brad," Cornie's voice chimed

Uh-oh.

"Hello," he said

"So how have you been?"

"Fine…yourself?"

"FABulous. Oh, you're here with her."

"Yes, we're still married,"

"Really…?"

Damn! Leave it to Brad, blows his own cover, he could've just not spoken, but Nooooooooo.

"Yes…"

"That's interesting, because when asked, Dana stated she isn't married yet. I think you lied so you didn't have to hook up with me,"

"Honey, be glad he lied to spare your feelings and didn't full on say F off, you look like a dog," Mom said, then smiled sarcastically, like, 'Yeah, that'll teach you to provoke Alyssa to insult Keely Diffy's daughter.'

I bit my bottom lip to keep from laughing, Brad and Dad did the same.

"Well, at least I'm not a bitch,"

"Really?"

Ouch. Note to self, Never mess with Mom.

As soon as Mom said that we were joined my more pleasant company, Daphne and the ikki crew. Literally.

"Cornelia, darling why are talking to them?" It took Dappy Daffy three seconds to recognize Brad, "Oh, Mr. Windsor, you're why she's talking to them,"

"I guess…" he said

"Well, it's good to know you've finally come to your senses about Cornelia."

"I wouldn't say that-"

"Well, why?"

Mom was on a roll, "You see this," Mom said pointing to my stomach, "His."

Gasp went Cornie and Daffy's mouths, my day of vengeance just kept coming. Strike One.

"No…, No…" Daphne said.

"Yes, without a doubt, his. That child is a Windsor." Mom said

"It cannot be!"

"Ah, but it can."

"The day my daughter gets rejected by the most handsome man in Boston so he can be with any child of yours Keely Teslow, is the day Hell freezes over, twice!"

"Well, get ready for a serious cold front my dear, because he just did." Strike Two.

"You haven't seen the last of me. I will make your life and everyone around you's life a living Hell."

"It is just by standing here with you. And nothing you could possibly do would change the way these two feel about it each other, it's love sweetie, and no black mail, blackballing, gossip, or bearing false witness is going to change that."

"Keely, Keely, Keely you have no idea what I'm capable of, I can turn this whole town against you and your family, like that," she said with a snap of her fingers

"Daphne, I don't fear you, whatever it is you think you're going to do to break them up isn't going to work."

"Don't be so sure. And I assure you that my daughter is not a bitch,"

"But you certainly are,"

"Maybe so, but not Cornelia,"

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," Strike three, she's out.

She just gave a small closed smile and said, "Dana Windsor will never happen. Cornelia Windsor is another story,"

As she was walking away, I couldn't resist, "Don't you mean Cornelia Beauregard-Stephens-Black-Marshall-Cummings-Windsor?" I said as I gave a sarcastic smile

She turned and stared at me with the same closed smile and said, "Yes."

Then she and Cornelia disappeared around the corner.

I had never been happier to see my house. I was so happy to be away from crazy people who had more husbands than I'd had birthdays. I also wanted to change clothes.

Mom was still steamed I could tell. I hadn't seen that side of my mother before, it was like she was a different person. Like Keely Teslow Unleashed. I was pacing around my room reflecting on all that had happened today. Why was Daphne out to get Mom? What had Mom done to her? I almost guessed Daphne had tried to scam on Dad or something, or Mom stole Dad from Daphne…

Brad stood in the doorway, watching me pace.

"Are you O.K.?"

"Huh? Oh…yeah. Just a little confused, that's all."

"What do you think Daphne's going to do?"

"I don't know…drug and rape you." I was joking, but he didn't seem to think so.

"What! What if that is what she's going to do,"

"Then, that's what she's going to do, not much we can do."

"Why do these things happen to me?"

"What things?"

"Things like this. Crazy old women and their daughters who are obsessed with causing problems to my girlfriend's mother want me to marry them, I'm caught in a never ending feud between you and Cornelia which oh, was made worse because of me, the child you're going to have will probably be stalked and kidnapped by Crazy and Crazier. And that's just the three biggest problems going on right now,"

"I'm sorry, half of the bad stuff going on is my fault," I said

"No, no it's not, you're just…involved in a lot of it."

I tried to smile, but I knew he was just lying to spare my feelings, but I guess he did that a lot.

The phone rang. Mom answered it downstairs, then called up saying, "Dana, it's Dr. Evans."

I looked at Brad like, 'Uh-oh.' We had just gone to the doctor on Saturday, and maybe a test came back with bad results. I ran to the phone and picked it up, "Hello?" I motioned for Brad to come over so he could hear what she was saying. I held the phone outward so we could both listen as Dr. Evans said, "Well, all your tests came back and everything looks fine."

Sighs of relief came from both of us, "That's great, thank-you doctor,"

"I also have the gender of the baby available, and you checked you would like to know…"

I glanced at Brad, "We do want to know, right?"

He nodded

"Yes, we would like to know,"

"Alright, Brad and Dana, you're going to be the proud parents of a baby girl. Congratulations"

I squealed happily as I hugged Brad, while still holding the phone.

"Thank-you Dr. Evans," we both said, as I hung up the phone, and he hugged again.

"A daughter, we're having a girl! I can't believe this!" I said

"I'm so glad, we'll have three woman that look like Keely,"

I shook my head and laughed, "Now we can talk about names."

"Great, any ideas?"

"Uh…a few. What about you?"

"Yeah, a few."

A/N: That was a lil long, lol but I wanted to write a long one, lol. Tell me what ya think and review, pleeeeeeeease: -)

--Lizzie--