Chapter 1

"Liss, I know I promised that if I left I'd take you with me. But right now, I can't be around you… Well him." Lissa just stood there silently staring at me. I knew she was upset but it was unnerving when she didn't say anything. I was sat next to her on her bed and as I didn't receive any response I carried on, "- I have to leave, I can't guard you with him here. It's too distracting. I can't get over him when he's always around." Lissa started to cry silently, tears slowly dripping down her cheeks, her fine layer of makeup beginning to smudge in an instant.

I thought she was taking the news quite well to be honest. I mean I'd just sat my best friend- my bond mate, down and told her that I'd be leaving again for the foreseeable future, today. After I left her which would be in the next 5 minutes, I'd jump on my father's private jet and travel with him to his home in Istanbul.

Finally after a couple minutes of silence, "-will you be back?" She whispered to me in between sobs.

I gave a little chuckle, "of course I'll be back. I don't know when but I'm coming back to you Lissa. I always come back to you don't I? You know why I have to do this, right?" She nodded at me as I handed her a few tissues, she looked like she needed it. Her eyes were red and her nose needed blowing.

"Where will you go?" She wiped her eyes and nose with the tissues before throwing them in the bin next to her bed.

"I'm going with Abe and I've spoken to Hans. It's kind of like a sabbatical. So much has happened that I haven't had the time to process anything." This was sort of true Hans had told me that if I left now I would be on a permanent paperwork job, if/when I returned. Yes I'd have a job when I came back, but I wouldn't be an active guardian.

Suddenly Lissa looked angry. "What about Adrian? Are you just going to leave him too?" I could feel through the bond that she wasn't truly angry, that this was her last ditched attempt to keep me here, it wouldn't work.

"I've broken up with Adrian. I love Adrian enough not to keep him hanging on like this. I can't be what he needs. I've spoken to him, he understands. I can't give him what he deserves while I'm like this." Yes I'd spoken to him, but I didn't think he understood. He wanted to come with me, he wanted to be the one that I'd rely on, but he couldn't be. He deserved more than half a girlfriend. Adrian is very special to me and I didn't want to break him completely. He deserved someone who would love him as much as he loves them. I'd die for Adrian, he was one of my best friends, but I couldn't be that special person for him. "Lissa you know I love you."

"Then why are you leaving me? Again!" She was suddenly truly angry. So angry that she couldn't get a handle of it, quickly I realised what it was. I took her anger, her darkness, just like I always did. It felt overwhelming for a second, my vision turning red around the edges. I took a deep breath and swallowed it down, suppressing it deeper until my vision cleared and I could think clearly but I was left with a feeling of being pissed off.

"If I stay Lissa I'll get us both killed." I had to be brutally honest now. She wasn't going to like what I was going to say, but she obviously needed to hear it. "I can't concentrate on you when I'm consumed by him. I never had the chance to get over him. I fell in love with a wonderful caring man and the day I lost my virginity to the man I love, we were fighting for our lives where he was taken from me, turned in to a grotesque monster who kept me prisoner. I thought I killed him Liss. I thought I'd staked him in the heart and that I'd never see him again. Then we managed to turn him back, but he's not the same man I fell in love with. But every time I see him my whole being yearns for him. I need to get over him and to do that I needed to be away from him. And away from you. I'm sorry I'm leaving you Liss, but he's always going to be around you. He needs that, he needs you. But it won't help him, if I'm here. He's on edge around me. He needs me gone too." I had a few tears welling up in my eyes. I tried hard to swallow them back. It took everything I had but not one tear fell.

She sighed as she sobbed. I knew that I had finally gotten through to her. She knew I was speaking the truth, I could feel it through the bond. "When will I see you again?"

I smiled and I pulled her into an embrace holding her tight. "Whenever you want. I can visit after a while, you can visit me, you have an open invitation and we can skype whenever you want. And you know I'll be keeping watch." I said tapping my head with my forefinger. She smiled.

"I'm going to miss you." She cupped my face; we sat like that for a minute or so, just taking each other in. I wiped the tears that were rolling down her cheek; she would always be my sister.

"No you won't, you have college and a very handsome boyfriend to keep you busy. I know this isn't how we imagined it, but it will all work out. You'll see." I gave her one last embrace and stood then I stood and held my hand out for her, she took it without hesitation. I turned towards her room door stooping to pick up my bag as I exited her room.

In the lounge sat Christian and Dimitri, they were sat on the sofas talking quietly. Christian took one look at Lissa's distraught face then looked at my calm one, it was obvious that he knew instantly that there was something going on.

I gave him a smile, "Well Pyro, I guess I'll see you around." I said. He stood up now fully looking at me, his blue eyes dropping to my bag in my hand.

His brows furrowed, "You're leaving? What? Why?" He looked past me to Lissa the confusion clear on his face, she was still holding my hand, she wanted to remain close to me for as long as possible and I couldn't begrudge her that, who knew when we'd see each other again.

My emotions were trying to overtake my composure, so in typical Rose fashion I tried bravado. "Places to be, people to see. Hearts to break. You know the usual." We stood awkwardly for a few seconds. He didn't move not an inch, but I could see his brain going into super drive. "I'm sure Lissa will fill you in." I added, knowing I could go through the explanations again. "I'll… uh… see you around Christian."

Abruptly Christian moved forward, his arms surrounding me, embracing me, he was squeezing hard. Lissa still had hold of one of my hands so, in a bid to show my friend my affections I dropped my bag on the floor to return his hug. We stood there for a few minute, no one speaking but everyone with a millions thoughts.

I tried to not take note of Dimitri, who was stood awkwardly to the side watching us. I could see him from the corner of my eye. It was obvious that he wanted to say something but couldn't quite get it out, I could tell from his expression. I was trying to keep myself in check. I didn't want him to see me cry for him. I wouldn't allow him to see how much he affected me. Not again. I needed to be stronger.

"We'll miss you Rose. Do you want us to come to the airstrip? I guess that's where you're heading." Christian said into my hair.

"Of course you'll miss me. I mean who else will keep you in check?" he kissed my hair before stepping back, I shook my head, "No I don't think I could handle it if you guys were there." I smiled at him, everyone thought Christian and I hated each other. But really he was my brother from another mother. I loved him and I would miss him.

"Would you do me a favour? I couldn't find Eddie and I've run out of time." I felt bad about not finding Eddie, I'd only fully decided this morning that I'd be leaving and had so much to pack and people to tell that time ran away with me. Eddie was my brother also, I'd known him since he came to the academy, Eddie, Mason and I, were always together. We trained together, we hung out together, they were my family. And when Mason died we relied on each other, we had a bond that was unbreakable. I loved Eddie. Just like I loved Lissa, Adrian and Christian. My friends had been my family for so long, that it hurt my heart to know that I was leaving them.

I bent down and opened my bag, then handed Lissa a large envelope. Inside I had written letters to all my friends. I wasn't sure I'd be able to find everyone in the time that I had, so while I was waiting to see Hans, I'd penned goodbyes to all my friends. I may have managed to see most of them, but I'd still hand over the letters. "There's letters here for you all, could you please make sure everyone else gets theirs?" Lissa nodded as she took it.

I took a deep breath. Ok then let's get this show on the road. I looked at my watch.

"Right guys, I better go. I have a plane to catch." I gave Lissa and Christian one last embrace, "-I love you guys." I knew I should've said bye to Dimitri but, I couldn't face him right now. After all he was the reason I was leaving my life behind. Again. I shut the door behind me just as I heard Lissa break down in tears and knew that Christian would comfort her.

"Rose, wait." I was half way down Lissa's path when I heard him. I didn't turn around but I did stop.

"What do you want?" I said quietly still not turning to him. I knew he was right behind me as I could feel the electric buzz that always went through my body while he was close. Would my treacherous body always would react to him? When he said nothing, I started forward again. I couldn't do this. He'd completely broken me and now he wanted to what, stand and bask in my misery?

I felt a jolt when he grabbed my arm spinning me to face him. "Rose, I…" He sounded like he wanted to say a million things. But right now I couldn't deal with him and his feelings.

I took a deep breath. "Don't. Let me go Dimitri. Just let me go." His face fell, I hoped that he could hear my double meaning, understand what I was conveying. When he didn't move I reached my lips up to his smooth cheek. I took a deep breath through my nose, taking his scent in for probably the last time. "Goodbye Dimitri." I whispered by his ear, his hand moved from my arm to the place I had pressed the kiss as I quickly turned and ran away.

I didn't stop until I was at Abe's waiting car. He didn't say anything when I got in before him, or when I burst out crying, or when he pulled me to his chest, he let me sob all over his expensive suit. My father just held me as a cried my broken heart out.