Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha…I don't even own an Inuyasha plushie…But I do own an Inuyasha keychain!
OtakuGirlEmi: Konnichiwa and Hajimemashite! OtakuGirlEmi here to bring you chapter 5 of Decisions, Decisions! I have promised it and now I have finally come through on giving you guys some Sango/Miroku romance! YAY! So I hope you enjoy it, because I worked very hard to make sure that this chapter was all about them. Read and enjoy! Oh and thanks to all my WONDERFUL reviewers. The RR is below.
Reviewer Responses:
Darkmoonfang; Thanks for reviewing, buddy. You have to update 4 Souls Demon! I want to read the next chapter! Arigato for the review and the help. You're the best!
chibi-shippo-inuyasha: I'm glad that I am responsible for keeping your brain functioning. I, too, have nothing better to do. Here's more to read. Thanks for the review!
cherry blossom318; Thanks you for the compliment! Yes, GO MIROKU AND SANGO! This chapter mostly focuses on them, so I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for reviewing!
Punkskater: Love the new fic. Can't wait for more! I'm glad you didn't mind, I tend to get sidetracked a lot. Thanks for the wonderful review! Hope you like chapter 5.
Kat: I have (as you can see) finally written more. Hope you enjoy! Thank you for reviewing!
Kattygirl32132: HA! You can't kill me because 1, I updated and 2, if you killed me you wouldn't know what happen in the story. Glad you like it! Update Tokyo Reincarnations soon. Thanks for the review buddy!
xXinuyashasgirlXx: Don't die, please! Then you couldn't read chapter 5! I'm so happy that you like the story, your support is much appreciated! Thank you so much for the review!
tanteigal: It's here! Read and enjoy! Thanks for the review!
Chibigirl: Glad you like it! I hope you like chapter 5! Thanks for reviewing!
Chapter 5: Campfire Conversations
The small group finished packing and sat down to eat one last meal together (until they met up again, at least). And, of course, the regular chaos ensued.
Miroku did his morning ritual of groping Sango and then getting slapped. Inuyasha and Kagome got into a fight because Kagome was out of Ramen. Then Inuyasha yelled at Shippo for siding with Kagome and gave the poor kitsune several bumps on the head before Kagome "Sat" him. All in all, it was a normal morning at the Inu camp.
Before the group parted, a very harassed looking Kagome (Miroku had also groped her all throughout breakfast, telling her that it was his way of saying goodbye.) pulled Sango over the side of the camp where no one could hear them. "Bye Sango." She said as she hugged her friend.
"Goodbye Kagome." Whispered the demon exterminator as she hugged back.
Kagome hated to leave Sango without talking to her about Kohaku, but it couldn't be helped. She hadn't wanted to mention the subject the previous night because Sango had seemed to be happier than she had been in a long time. When they broke apart Kagome saw that Sango had a worried look on her face. "What's wrong Sango?"
"Well" the demon exterminator said, looking into her friend's deep brown eyes. "I'm worried about you guys. What if something happens and you get hurt because you didn't have backup?"
Kagome gave Sango a reassuring smile. "Oh, don't worry, we'll be fine. You know how strong Inuyasha is. And," She added, puffing out her chest and raising her head arrogantly, making Sango giggle. "I think I can hold my own."
Sango was still concerned and opened her mouth to say something else, but Kagome cut her off. "Oh, Sango don't worry. Everyone will be just fine. You should relax and enjoy your time with Miroku while you have it." Kagome winked at her friend, making Sango blush slightly. Kagome suddenly looked solemn. "Sango, you have to tell him. You might not get another chance."
Sango shook her head vigorously. "No way Kagome. He doesn't love me. I didn't realize what I was saying last night, I didn't really mean it. I could never tell him."
Sango could see the disappointment in Kagome's eyes. She just wants me to be happy, Sango thought sadly. But you don't want happiness, you push it away because you fear it getting taken away, the small voice in the back of her mind whispered annoyingly. Sango tried to shut out the voice, it seemed to be very active lately and she was sick of hearing it. In an attempt to cheer the sad miko up, she said, sighing exasperatedly. "Fine, I'll make a deal with you. If you promise to tell Inuyasha, I'll promise to try to tell Miroku."
Kagome's face immediately brightened as she beamed at her best friend. "Deal!" She said, holding out her pinky. Sango held out hers and they shook, sealing the promise.
Kagome shifted back to the topic of the split. "You shouldn't worry Sango. I think this will be a nice little vacation for everyone, ya know? A change. We've all been traveling together for so long; it might be a nice to split." The doubtful demon exterminator rolled her eyes, but nodded in agreement.
"It'll be fun!" Kagome finished, throwing her hands up in the air.
Sango smiled. "Well, I guess you're right."
"Hey! You two hurry up, we haven't got all day. I've got a jewel shard to find!" a voice interrupted. The girls looked over to the road where Inuyasha, Kirara, Shippo, and Miroku stood, ready to go. Inuyasha was, of course, being his usual self. "Come on!" The two girls hugged each other one last time and walked over to the rest of the group for goodbyes.
A few minutes later, as the group parted -Inuyasha and Kagome headed one way, Miroku, Sango, Shippo, and Kirara heading the other- Sango couldn't help but smile. Maybe this will be fun, she thought as she glanced up at Miroku hopefully.
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By that night, Sango wasn't smiling anymore.
Miroku had groped her about ten times already and no matter how many times she punched him, slapped him, and hit him with the Hiraikotsu he kept coming back for more. Sango was starting to lose the energy to beat him up. But, as much as she hated to admit it, she actually was enjoying the attention. Of course, she could never let it show. She had to remind herself that Miroku had no feelings for her besides being a girl to grope. This thought made her even more depressed and irritable.
Plus, she was starting to understand why Inuyasha hated Shippo so much. He had talked nearly non-stop all day and asked an unbearable amount of questions. She wondered if he was ever going to run out of energy. When they had decided to make camp she had sent him off to fetch firewood in an effort to get some peace. Thankfully, at the moment, he was sleeping on Kirara's lap as the large demon dozed near the fire.
Unfortunately, she wasn't so lucky with the last remaining member of the group. Miroku was currently seated next to her, recounting some story that he had, of course, changed to make it more exciting and suspenseful, but Sango wasn't listening.
She was off in her own thoughts, as depressed as ever. Here she sat next to the man she loved, alone, near a warm fire, a romantic full moon in the sky and she wouldn't even think about telling him how she felt. It's stupid to dwell on impossible dreams; Sango reprimanded herself silently as she resisted the urge to look over at Miroku. But she couldn't help Kagome's words from echoing in her mind, "Sango, you have to tell him…" The words were becoming so annoying that she was actually considering obeying them.
Sango shook her head, trying to clear her mind. You will do no such thing, you don't deserve happiness. You're completely forgetting about Kohaku when you should be mourning him! Sango's heart immediately sunk at the silent thought of her deceased brother. She had been mourning him, though. She hadn't eaten for almost a week after the battle and she hadn't talked to her friends, wasn't that enough? Was she ever going to be allowed to be happy and normal again? Could she ever tell Miroku how she felt without feeling eternal guilt? The little voice was rearing its ugly little head again and try as she might, Sango couldn't stop the overwhelming torrent of thoughts. She hated the voice, because, even though she wouldn't admit it, she knew deep in her heart that it was right. It hurt her terribly to think about Kohaku, but at the same time she wanted to move on and try to be happy. Wallowing in sadness, despair, and self-pity was no way to help her deceased brother. He would want her to be happy and move on. Wouldn't he?
Maybe Kohaku wanted Sango to turn to the monk sitting next to her and tell him that she was truly, madly in love with him. Sango blushed slightly at this thought.
"Sango? Sango?"
The demon exterminator jerked her head up suddenly, as if she had been woken from a sleep. "What Miroku?"
The monk was looking into her eyes, his face a mask of concern. "You've been sitting there with a pained expression on your face for the past ten minutes. Was my story really that lousy?"
For a moment, Sango had no clue what he was talking about. Then she remembered that he had been telling her a story while she had been off in La-La land. "Oh, no Miroku. It was great! It's just that I'm really tired."
Miroku nodded knowingly. "Shippo really wears you down fast, doesn't he?"
"Yeah, I had no idea. Kagome has so much patience and energy that she makes entertaining him look easy." Sango said, giggling.
Miroku laughed and grinned at her. Sango felt her stomach do a back-flip at the sight of his goofy grin. She loved that grin.
Sango felt her face heat up and she quickly took her eyes off him. She tried to think of something to say. "It's, it's kind of chilly out tonight isn't it?" Oh God, Sango thought as she mentally smacked herself on the head, you've resorted to talking about the weather. THE WEATHER! How stupid can you get!
Miroku, oblivious to her silent scolding, replied in complete Miroku-style (Not a real word. But if it was, I think it would be a cool word…Thingy), "Oh, Sango! If you are cold, we should huddle together for warmth!" He stretched out his arms.
Sango immediately turned a very nice shade of crimson. Even though she would've loved to be held by him, she wasn't going to give into her wishing. "Wha-What? No way Miroku, I'm not that cold."
"Come into my arms my dear Sango!" Miroku cried.
Sango glanced nervously at the sleeping kitsune. If Miroku woke up Shippo, she wouldn't get any sleep. "Miroku, shh!" she said, whispering. "You'll wake Shippo up. And besides, I would never let myself be held by you, pervert." You are such a liar, the little voice whispered in her ear.
Miroku ignored her request and continued talking quite loudly. "Quick Sango, you seem to be becoming delusional from the cold! And" the monk whispered, leaning near her ear, "if you don't, I will continue yelling until our favorite fox demon is awake and running around."
Sango glared at the monk, though she was thoroughly happy about his blackmail. "You wouldn't."
"Oh, I would." Miroku whispered, looking dead serious. (Or as close to serious as Miroku can look)
Sango glanced over at Shippo, thinking about what to do. A small amount of her guilt tugged at her, telling ehr she shouldn't, but for once, Sango brushed it away and made her decision.
"Fine, I give." She said as she pouted. "Just as long as you don't try anything perverted."
Miroku beamed at her. "What on earth would give you that idea?" Sango rolled her eyes as she scooted closer to him. "Come now, Sango, I can't possibly keep you warm when you sit so far away." Sango glared daggers at him, but moved until she was resting against his chest.
Miroku sighed happily and wrapped his arms around her, making Sango blush brightly. "I always knew that you would warm up to me, Sango." Sango whirled around to look at him, unsure if he was joking or not. But at the sight of his grin her panic died away. He didn't know anything.
"Hmph," was all the demon exterminator offered in reply. Sango was amazed how warm she felt. Not just physically warm, but she felt warm inside too. Butterflies danced around inside her chest and her heart was thumping so loudly that she was almost sure Miroku would hear it.
Sango stole a glance at the monk holding her. He was staring into the fire, his eyes glazed over in thought, his face was unusually serious. Sango wondered what he could be thinking about. He's so handsome, she thought as her eyes roamed over his strong features. Or hot, as Kagome says.
Miroku realized that he was being watched and looked down at Sango, making her butterflies flutter furiously. "Sango I do believe that I just caught you staring at me." Sango opened her mouth to argue (even though Miroku was right) but Miroku cut her off, smiling happily. "Oh, don't even try to deny it! I caught you staring! And blushing, no less!" He added as crimson spread across Sango's already flushed cheeks.
Sango gave up. "Okay, I was looking at you. So what?"
"But I thought that you said that I'm a gross, dirty, lecherous, perverted, monk. Why would you be looking at me?" Miroku smirked at her.
Sango looked away, glaring at the ground, he had a point. She hated it when he was right.
The two fell into silence, each lost in their own thoughts.
Miroku felt something wet fall on his robes. He looked down to see Sango clutching tightly to his purple over-robe, sobbing uncontrollably. "S-Sango? What's wrong?" he asked worriedly. He hoped he hadn't done anything to upset her.
Sango looked up at him, tears leaving wet trails down her beautiful porcelain skin. "I-I'm sorry Miroku. It's just..." she trailed off as sobbed continued to wrack her body.
Miroku clutched her close to him, trying to comfort her. "It's okay Sango, I'm here. Tell me what's wrong."
"It's-It's Kohaku…" she managed to whisper before succumbing to another round of sobs.
"Oh…" was all Miroku could say. Of course it was Kohaku! What else would make her so sad? He scolded himself for being so stupid. But why would Sango suddenly get so upset. She hardly cried when he actually died. He remembered that Kagome had suggested that Sango was in shock after his death: Like it hadn't really hit her, or that she was denying it.
It seemed that reality was finally setting in for poor Sango. And it broke Miroku's heart to watch.
"Sango it's alright. Stop making yourself suffer alone." Miroku commanded, suddenly serious. The confused demon slayer looked up at him, confused. "I'm not going to let you keep holding your grief in, so you might as well talk to me."
Sango stared at him for a few seconds, Miroku thought that she would refuse or simply walk away. But, to his utter amazement, Sango smiled up at him through her tears and whispered "Okay…"
Miroku wrapped his arms around her tighter, as if trying to protect her from the world. His heart thumped loudly in his chest. He had never been so close to her without being slapped. "Tell me anything you want. Talk until you can't. Cry until you don't have any tears left. Just do anything you have to so you can feel better."
Sango was shocked at this new side of Miroku. "I…I just miss him. And I haven't been able to deal with the fact that he's gone. Well, I know he's gone, but…it's like I feel guilty that I lived."
Sango looked up at Miroku, feeling a little stupid at her words. But the look of understanding on her love's face silenced any doubts she had at talking to him. Sango found herself confessing all the thoughts she had had lately. The guilt, sadness, loneliness, everything that had made her miserable came pouring out of her mouth. She told Miroku about all the things she and Kohaku did together and how he was so sweet and wonderful. At first her words came in a slow trickle, along with many tears, but slowly, it became easier for Sango to talk. She stopped crying and started smiling at the memories of her brother. She felt happier than she had in weeks. It was as if all her hidden grief had been smothering her: Making her a different, darker person. But the grief evaporated the more she told Miroku.
Finally, after talking for at least an hour, Sango was done. She felt empty, but a happy empty. She felt empty of all of her troubles and fears. She also felt exhausted.
"You can go to sleep if you want. I'll watch over you."
Sango looked up at Miroku, who was smiling down at her gently. She felt herself blush and nodded. Tell him! The little voice urged. You know you want to and it's perfect timing. He's holding you in his arms for goodness sake!
Sango opened her mouth to voice the words she had held in for so long. "Miroku, I-" but she was silenced as he gently placed his hand over her mouth.
"Sshh, go to sleep. It's late." He leaned down and whispered in her ear, making a shiver of pleasure run up Sango's spine.
She decided not to argue with him and simply closed her mouth and looked into the fire. The two of them fell into contented silence. As she sat there, Sango unconsciously snuggled closer to Miroku and rested her head on his chest. Her cheeks flushed and Sango felt true, wonderful happiness well up from deep inside her. She thought she would never feel like this ever again, but there she was, lying in the man she loved arms. She didn't know how long they sat there. Seconds, minutes, hours, days? Time seemed to slow down and blur, giving her a sweet moment of peace. Oh, Miroku I love you so much…Sango felt her eyes drooping as sleep fought to claim her…it was so warm and comfy in his arms...
"Thank you, Miroku…"
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Miroku felt a sudden weight against his chest. He looked down to see Sango, lying there, fast asleep. He smiled down at the carefree expression that graced her face only in sleep. She's so beautiful when she's sleeping, he mused silently. Well, she's beautiful all the time, she just doesn't realize it.
Miroku loved Sango more than anything in the world. Her feisty attitude made him smile and her tears broke his heart. She was different than any other girl he had ever met. She was strong, courageous, and loyal. Though she sometimes guarded her emotions, she was a very warm, loving person. He wanted dearly to tell her how he felt, but fear clung to his heart and he couldn't bring himself to. She deserves someone better than me, Miroku thought sadly as he gazed into the fire. But you love her, she has the right to know, the little voice in his head protested angrily. (Everyone's little voices are certainly very active.) Miroku ignored the voice and shifted his attention back to the sleeping girl lying in his arms.
"Sango," Miroku said, caressing the sleeping girl's hand. "I promise to always stay by your side, no matter what. I shall always be watching over you. You are the world to me and I wish you endless happiness."
"And," he whispered a soft as he could. "Even if you can't see me as nothing more than a friend, I want to tell you someday that I love you. I promise that someday I will."
Sango, unaware of her protector's promise, slept on, her dreams full of warm purple robes and goofy grins.
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OtakuGirlEmi: I hope chapter 5 wasn't too boring or corny, I know it was mostly thinking and talking. But I felt that it was an important chapter in relationship development for Sango and Miroku. Yes, Miroku was more mature than usual, but I believe that he can be very grown-up when he wants to. Anyhoos, chapter 6 will shift to Kagome and Inuyasha. What will happen when the pair meet an unexpected person on the road to the last jewel shard? And why is Inuyasha so upset? You'll see in chapter 6 of Decisions, Decisions!
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