Worriedly, I gaze down at the sleeping features of Cullen looking in pain as I stay by his side, refusing to leave for a sound, hopefully he'll awaken. Fennic's words still ring in my ears, she's right, I have to help him, I have to. It's my duty as his friend, as his leader and hopefully as his…well, briefly, I blush at the thought. I can't back down, I can't be the shy sheep I have to do this, he confessed his problem with me, opening up to me about it and trusting me with this secret of his, I can't just ignore him in his hour of need, I can't and I refuse to…he needs me and I will make sure I am there for him, every step of the way, I never knew how lyrium withdraws can be and I want to help…
Surprised, I jump up when noticing Cullen's features twitching as slowly his browns meet my relieved greens.
"Cullen thank the maker you're alright," I breathe a sigh of relief smiling softly at the surprised male.
"Evelyn…I…I'm sorry I had a meltdown didn't I? I promised myself I'd be stronger…" Guilty, Cullen turns away, breaking my heart at the sad sight.
"And you are…you have, you just had a melt down its hard I may not understand, but I want to help you Cullen through this," I confess to him.
"Evelyn…thank you…" Cullen smiles genuine relief in his eyes.
"Come on. Let's go out for some fresh air that will help you…" I offer smiling and standing up.
"Thank you…" Smiling, I help Cullen up after he changes; we head out to walk upon the castle walls, looking out at the snowy mountain scape of Skyhold, enjoying the peace and fresh crisp breeze, nipping of the icy chill, most likely helping wake Cullen up.
"It's…a nice day…" Awkwardly, Cullen turn away scratching the back of his neck, his voice breaking a bit as we walk side by side, blushing.
"What?" I question in wonder once more imagining us standing side by side and having kids named Andie, Maria…
"It's...I'm sorry…about yesterday, I acted out and scared you." Cullen turns away ashamed.
"Cullen...it's okay. You're struggles reached their peak and erupted…it was scary that I won't lie but you've been in pain since the beginning and I'm sorry for that, I wish I could help you…" I reassure him.
"Well…you could start with the broken nose…" Jokingly, Cullen smiles.
"Oh that…thank Fen for that," I shrug jokingly.
"Of course she would," Cullen chuckles.
"What…what is your relationship with her?" I ask shakily, fearful of the result.
"Hm? Fen…nothing much, we knew each other through work. See, I worked at Kirkwall, as a Templar, I worked under Meredith while she was with Hawke's group, you should have seen her, back then she was much harsher, much colder she didn't even know my name, just called me virgin. She didn't care much for anyone but her brother, but then she changed over the years, she became…nicer, still called me virgin but I could see sometimes at the hanged man she was smirking, she looked happy," Cullen explains.
"I never knew…huh…so there's nothing?" I ask hopeful.
"Of course not! Heh, the only thing that was close to that would be when the mages attacked, it was hectic I was about to attack some mage, a child I believe, I was…I wasn't in the right state of mind. I saw the child doing blood magic and hd to stop it but then Fennic just strikes out of nowhere, her claw gauntlets had caused this scar here, heh, not the worst thing she's done to me. One time, she threw me in a pile of dead bodies and set them ablaze!" Cullen laughs.
"What!?" I gawk.
"Oh yeah I got a report about her and her brother clearing out dead bodies, the knight captain tried to stop me, a fierce woman, fiercely protective over Fen, calling her a troubled child in need of guidance and I agreed with her, still do. But still I went to see and next thing I knew, I was tossed into the bodies and nearly set ablaze, so I guess you could say I held a torch for her…" Cullen jokes lightly.
"…That was terrible!" Giggling, I snicker at the thought.
"I'm not done when I got out and had a go at them, and told them of the neighbours being disturbed they simply complained about me being too loud, shrugged me off and Fennic waved at her disturbed neighbours WAVED!" Chuckling both Cullen and I laugh at the thought.
"But…uh there's was something you wished to discuss…" Cullen begins as I take in a deep breathe, feeling my muscles tighten and my brow furrow, no I got to do this, I have to do I can't be afraid anymore even if I'm a mage and he is a Templar, I ignore my quivering fists and turn to him, my brow furrowed game face on.
"Cullen I care for you and…" I stop trailing off, my voice trembling in fear. Oh maker, I shouldn't have done this, what was I thinking!? Blurting this out, Fen was wrong I can't do this I mean its the guy whose meant to, not the girl, Fen was wrong about girl's confessing being normal, auntie was right about it only being the man's role and duty to confess to the woman not the other way around…
"What's wrong?" Cullen questions turning to me worried.
"You left the Templars but do you trust mages? Could you think of me as anything more?" Pained, I turn away bracing myself for the harsh rejection thrown my way and a few words of horror at the thought of a Templar and mage relationship.
"I could. I mean I do…think of you. And what I might say in this sort of situation…" Shocked, my eyes widen at his words as I turn to him, needing to balance my shaking self I lean against the castle wall, still reeling in shock at the implication.
"What's stopping you?" I questions shocked by his words as we both stop, my green hues gazing deeply into his brown, the pair of us staring as fail to notice Cullen leaning in…
"You're the inquisitor. We're at war and you… I didn't think it was possible," Cullen sighs sadly.
"And yet I'm still here," Weakly, I smile.
"So you are…it seems too much to ask but I want too," Cullen confesses bringing a excited smile to my lips as he leans in and I feel my heart fasten, elated as I lean in excited..
"Commander you wanted a copy of sister Leliana's work?" The scout dashes forward unaware of interrupting the romantic scene between the two of us. Oh come on now really, briefly, I feel a pang of annoyance at the scout.
"What?" Cullen growls, stepping forward sneering down enraged at the man intruding on their moment.
"Sister Leliana's report you wanted it delivered without delay. Or…to your office…right," Quickly, he gathers nervously eyeing me as I turn away embarrassed.
"If you need to…" Startled, I gaps as I feel Cullen's hungry, soft, smooth lips quickly silence me as I close my eyes, feeling a wave of giddy fireworks burst in my stomach as we kiss one another, my inexperienced pair messily kissing his, not sure what to do as I feel a high of adrenaline flow through me and allow my body to take control as Cullen's lips pounce on me, his more experienced pair taking the lead.
"I'm sorry…that was…um really nice," Tensely, Cullen smiles.
"I believe that was a kiss…though I can't be sure it was a bit of a blur," Blushing, I smile goofy at him.
"Yes well…" Brightly, Cullen smiles as a small shy smile crosses my lips as he leans in again and together, we share another fantastic lips…embracing and enjoying one another's company…
Brightly, I smile a skip in my steps as I explore the beautiful garden of Skyhold, feeling a wave of warmth and giddiness flow through me feeling as though I was floating on cloud nine, Cullen and me…together, together…sounds so weird but a good weird, I love it.
"Tag you're it!"
"No fair I was talking to mother!"
Smiling, I turn to the sound of voices and smile to see Robin and Kieran playing so merrily together, I wonder if I'll have kids someday with Cullen, no doubt they'll be quite the cuties, a boy and girl, one boy to continue the name and the other to dress up, giddily, I grin at the thought.
"What are you guys doing?" Grinning, I kneel down next to the children.
"Tag! But I was going to ask Auntie for some paper to play with again!"
"Play with?"
"Yeah auntie often gave me paper to draw on, I made auntie, a great drawing but then daddy stopped me when I gave him one of mine, I don't think it was good enough, papa was so angry he went to talk to auntie and since then I've been banned to allow auntie to give me paper," Pouting, Robin complains as I frown.
"She's been giving you paper?" I frown.
"Yep! Auntie was looking after me but when I had no toys she gave me some paper on her desk, she never reads it, simply glimpses at it, I don't know why, when I ask daddy and mummy, they say it's none of my business," Robin tells me as I frown still puzzled. I should talk to fen about this…
"I'll leave you to it, don't make to much mess," I smile at the bright children smiling and going off continuing their game as I decide to head off to see Fennic about the matter of paper…if that paper is what I think it is, Josephine won't be pleased.
"Oh look over there seems someone owes me a drink someone owes me a drink!" Victoriously, Dorian chants as the scowling Fen frowns, the pair on the balcony observing the dorky date between both mage and Templar and a defeated Fen bows her head as a grinning Dorian, celebrates his win.
"And make sure it's the fancy stuff from Tevinter!" Dorian calls out cockily at the grumbling curses from the frustrated Fen.
"Yeah, yeah shove off mage!" She barks at the smug male.
"Aww…is someone pouting cause there alone?" Lightly, Dorian teases the brow twitching Fen.
"Wha- Venhedis," Fen curses under my breathe glaring at the giddy male.
"Just do me a favour," Fen demands.
"And what's that?" Dorian questions intrigued.
"Get me the name of that scout that cock blocked Cullen," Ominously, Fen growls.
"Why?" Dorian furrows his brow oblivious to the deranged look on Fen's features.
"Let's just say I'll have a use of him," Bitterly, Fen growl noting to herself to make him work thrice as hard when under her, think of it as some petty revenge, think of it as you want, Fen lost a great drink thanks to that fool…
"You know, maybe you should give yourself the chance to find someone special, we only live once after all," Dorian recommends.
"If you believe that," Fen huffs dryly looking down at Skyhold.
"Fennic…I'm being serious you've seen how happy you brother and Hawke are, I mean look at Cullen and Eve don't you think you deserve that happiness…?" Dorian reasons as scowling, Fen stares down at the happy couple below, her brow twitching at the smiling Hawke, nuzzling into the blushing Fenris' side, her gaze hardens then turns back to the smooching couple, her brow twitching annoyed at the jovial couple, part of her wishing to chuck stones down at them…
"Dorian…." Fennic lowers head, her teeth grinding down upon each other.
"Fennic I know about you and Solas, you may ignore it but he's been giving you lingering looks for weeks now why not give him a chance?" Dorian suggests.
"Dorian stop!" Fennic growls but it falls to deaf ears.
"No I will not. I've seen your pain, you want to be with him but are scared," Dorian points out as Fennic sneers at the thought.
"Enough!" She barks as Dorian then finally turns, determined browns meeting her furious blue.
"Then tell me why you hesitate!?" Dorian demands.
"Because I don't want to be hurt! I've seen countless people get rejected and hurt, I've seen countless broken people throw themselves into drinking, into killing themselves into becoming weak. Why should l risk my strength for some weakness that will not doubt be used against me!? People go on and on about true love, it doesn't exist. One person for the rest of your life…it sounds ridiculous, you're going to get sick of them and toss them aside that's how it works, that's how relationships hurt in the end someone is left alone, abandoned and left to rot away to wither and die alone, someone is left alone…" Fennic bites, her blood boiling and her fists tightening into balls of fury.
"But it's worth it in the end, you can find someone to spend the rest of your life with!" Dorian reasons.
"And then you're trapped, trapped in a dead end relationship, trapped with the same person for the rest of your life and stuck with the person until you rot away. There are so many people out there. How do I know it's him? How do I know he's the one!? Even then, every day, every minute and everyone second, they'll be controlling you, manipulating you, and talking down to you, every single day! Unit you're thrown away, I won't be thrown away, not again… " Fennic scoffs turning away; not seeing the pained expression of Dorian.
"You don't…" Dorian admits softly to the shaking mess.
Then what's the point if things don't work out I'll get hurt besides I've never had a meaningful relationship I don't know what to do, how to act…I can't…" Pained, Fen turns away, head down in shame.
"Yes you can!" Dorian encourages.
"No I can't!" She barks startling the magister from the raw animalistic nature of her bark.
"You can. I know you can. Please consider my words at the very least…" Defeated, Dorian bows his head, surrendering as he turns his back fearful of the elf's wrath, he leaves her there, her head down in deep though conflicted, debating whether to move forward or not…should she take the risk? Is it worth it in the end to be hurt? Stoically, the lone elf remains on her balcony in deep thought…