Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am to a spiritual level beyond material possessions. Therefore, I must borrow everyone else's.

The Ponderosa Experience: Chapter 2 – The Arrival

It was early evening when Cas pulled up to the small farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. The sun hadn't quite set yet, but Cas could see stars peeking out already. The sky was clear and not muddled by smog or clouds or lights from nearby towns or roads. Millions of insects played a symphony with a few vertebrates chiming in now and again. It was peaceful. Cas allowed himself to smile a little. He was glad Sam offered him the case.

He knocked on the strangers' screen door. Meeting new humans always made Cas nervous. Although his "people skills" had improved over the years, it was still easy for him to make humans uneasy with his language and mannerisms.

The man that came to the door was warm and welcoming. "You must be Cas." He held out his hand and smiled. "I'm Cesar."

Cas took Cesar's hand and returned the smile as best he could. "Good to meet you."

Cesar held the door open and Cas entered a small kitchen with a table and four chairs. Cesar pointed to a chair and offered to get something for him to drink. Cas requested water to communicate his appreciativeness of the gesture and to make him seem not as awkward.

Cesar sat across from him after pouring beverages for each of them. "How long have you known the Winchesters?"

"Years. Ten or more," Cas answered, although he knew the exact number of days. If he had a minute and accounted for time zones and daylight savings time, he could give the hours too. Few people seemed comfortable when he was so exact, and he didn't feel to need to emphasize length of time. Cas didn't want to talk more about the Winchesters, so he purposefully changed the subject. "Your home is… picturesque. Driving in was peaceful."

Cesar smiled. "We like it. It borders a National Park, so we have plenty of unoccupied, preserved area nearby. We've been here for about 4 years now. Always something to work on, improve on. Well away from the stresses of people and monsters. Well, most monsters. How long have you been a Hunter?"

Cas shook his head. Now comes the uncomfortable explanation of who, what, he was. He's considered lying or not telling the whole truth to avoid these interactions, but Cesar was a hunter. It might not be so bad. "I'm not really a Hunter. I'm an Angel. Who sometimes hunts."

Cesar's eyes widened. "Angel? Angel, Angel?" His mouth opened and closed. "I'm sorry, I've never met an Angel before. There was a lot of talk a few years back, but –"

"There are few of us left. No need to apologize." Cas smirked. "You've had one of the more pleasant reactions."

"I can imagine. What was one of the more…interesting reactions?"

"Well, Dean shot at me, then stabbed me in the chest." [1] Cas shrugged at Cesar's shocked expression. "I found it funny." A slight smile remained on Cas's face. "One time, Sam and I visited a psychic. He told me I couldn't be an Angel, because he was an atheist." [2]

Cesar let out a belly laugh. His laugh relaxed Castiel. Cas decided to add another tidbit to the story. "When he tried to read me with his powers, he said all he got was 'colors'."

Cesar laughed again, prompting someone to shout from deeper in the house, "Hey! Your invalid husband has been asking for entertainment all day, and it sounds like you are hogging it all for yourself!"

Cesar rolled his eyes and stood up; Cas followed suit. Cesar lead him back to an office with a futon couch rolled out and a man laying down, propped up on his elbows. The man stretched over to put his book on the desk; he winced in pain as he jolted his casted leg.

"Painkillers wearing off?" Concern dripped from Cesar's voice, and he shuffled to a few prescription bottles also on the desk. Castiel remained in the doorway. With the futon folded out there wasn't much room for people to move around.

The man on the bed waved him off. "I got another hour before I can take another. I'll be fine." Cesar introduced his husband Jesse. Cas shuffled into the room so he could shake Jesse's hand without the injured man moving too much, but retreated back to the doorway afterwards. Jesse squinted at him. "You look familiar. Have we met before?" he asked.

Castiel squinted. "I don't recall. And I have an excellent memory."

Jesse shrugged it off. "So what was so funny?"

Cesar reiterated the story with the psychic; Jesse didn't find it as funny, but there was a short chuckle. "It happens to humans too. On our honeymoon, we had the front desk guy tell us that we couldn't a couple, because our voices didn't 'sound gay.'"

Castiel furrowed his brow. "Do humans truly associate voice frequency with sexual orientation?"

"Only the dumb ones," Jesse replied.

"Ignorant," Cesar corrected. "Unworldly."

Jesse rolled his eyes. "That's my man. Always giving bigots the benefit of the doubt."

"And I'm happier for it."

Jesse sighed. "And I'm happy you put up with my cynicism."

There was a lull in the conversation, so Cas tried to be of service. "Can you tell me about your injuries?"

"You a medic?" Jesse raised his brow.

"As an Angel, I can heal most non-magical injuries on humans."

"Handy," Jesse replied. "Broke both my tib/fib. I got a couple chupacabra slashes on my stomach and legs. They're small cuts. We washed them best we could, to get the anticoagulant out, but they won't stop bleeding."

Castiel frowned as he stepped back into the tiny room. Cas and Cesar awkwardly switched places. Cas turned the desk chair around sat at the side of the bed. As Cas talked, he held his hand six inches over Jesse's chest. Cas concentrated and a light and humming came from his hand as he waved it across Jesse's torso and legs. "Sometimes, for larger pray, chupacabras will deposit glands that continue to pump the anticoagulant into the bloodstream. So they can stalk it and attack later when it's weaker."

Cas found what he was looking for. He tried to switch to healing mood, but there was resistance. He closed his eyes, pushed harder, and was able to separate the anticoagulant from the rest of his bloodstream. He flushed it to the man's kidneys. It was easier to let his body take care of the rest than try and expend more of his powers. "There," Cas announced. "The bleeding should have stopped, cuts healed. You may have to urinate frequently for the next few hours, but you'll recover shortly."

Jesse lifted his shirt and removed one of the bandages taped to his abdomen. Blood stained the bandage and his skin. He wiped the wetter areas, and revealed seamless skin underneath. "Nice," Jesse chuckled and pointed. From the doorway, Cesar smiled, relief in his eyes.

There was a knock at the outside door. Cesar nodded and left to answer it.

"Now, I'll tend to your leg." Cas began the process again, but his concentration was broken by a familiar voice coming from the kitchen. His hand stopped glowing.

"Long time, Cesar!" Dean's voice boomed. "This is a great place you have here. Well, what I could see of it. It gets dark fast out here."

Cas tried to push down all the emotions that rose upon hearing that voice and stick to the matter at hand. He ignored the conversation he could hear clearly. Cas shook out his hand and tried again. Light and sound spurted, and he was unable to sustain it. After a few moments, Cas gave up and folded his hands in his lap.

"What's wrong?" Jesse asked.

Cas stared at his hands ashamed. Failed again. What was he anymore? Cas shook his head side to side. "I couldn't. My powers have been failing as of late. I'm not sure why. I can't heal your leg." Cas lifted his face to Jesse's with an apologetic expression.

Jesse tried to reassure Cas. "No problem, man. You did way more than we were expecting, which was nothing, actually. I was more worried about the bleeding than the break anyway." Cas didn't express any relief, so Jesse added, "Plus, this way I can still milk it."

Cas's brow furrowed. "Milk what?"

"Oh, I mean I can get Cesar to wait on me and spoil me for a few weeks. I'll get first pick the movies for movie night, no arguments." Jesse grinned.

"Huh. That's not how movie night worked at –" Cas stopped, his happy memories distorted by the pain the new voice in the other room wrought. Sam's suspicions were right. He wasn't ready to face Dean again. He had worked through some of his pain on the djinn case [3], but he wasn't healed enough to withstand another attack from Dean. Dean knew him well enough to push all the right buttons to send him further into despair.

Cas stood abruptly. He needed to get out. "I did all I can. I hope you have a good movie night." Cas nodded and left the room. He paused in the hallway. If he turned right toward the kitchen and the door he came in, he'd have to go past Cesar and Dean.

Cas managed to take only one step toward the room on the left when Cesar called out, "How'd it go?" Cesar stepped down the hallway, Dean following a few paces behind. Cas stopped with his back to them and raised his head to the ceiling. "Did you manage to fix his leg?" Cesar asked.

Slowly, Cas turned halfway toward them. "Uh, no. I did all I could, but…" he shook his head. "I failed." He finally looked up and saw Dean, frozen over Cesar's shoulder.

Cesar smiled, took a step forward and put a reassuring hand on Cas's shoulder. "I doubt Jesse was too disappointed." Cesar dropped looked over his shoulder at Dean. "He likes breakfast in bed."

"And lunch. And dinner," called Jesse.

"His leg is broken but not his stomach." Cesar smiled.

"I've done what I could. I should be going. It was nice to meet you." Cas turned and started looking to see if there was a door in the dark room behind him so he wouldn't have to shuffle past Dean in the narrow hallway.

Cesar furrowed his brow. "You don't have to leave."

Dean cocked an eyebrow. "That's what he does best," he snapped.

Cesar looked between cold Dean behind him and the anxious Castiel. Cesar knew he was missing something; he had a few speculations. None of them painted Sam Winchester as the good guy.

"Oh, damn," Jesse exclaimed from the office, interrupting the drama. Cesar heard shuffling and items being knocked over.

Cesar rushed to doorway. "Are you okay?"

Jesse practically plowed Cesar over on his crutches. "Cas wasn't kidding about needing to pee that chupacabra poison out." Jesse hobbled down past Dean to the bathroom, funneling everyone to the dark room where Castiel was searching for an exit.

Cas had found a door, but before he could exit, Cesar called to him, "Really, Cas. You don't have to leave. We can make space for the night."

The Angel sighed with his hand on the knob. "You have a real Hunter here now. No need to bother with a cursed Angel." Cas opened the doors; he might have broken a latch hook on the screen door that he hadn't seen.

"What?!" Cesar questioned as the doors banged closed. He turned to Dean. "What was that about?"

Dean shrugged, a darkness behind his eyes. "I've given up trying to understand that dumbass." Cesar wanted to smack Dean upside the head. Dean knew what was going on, but he wasn't going to talk about it. "What's he even doing here anyway?"

"Sam sent him. Sam said Cas was nearby and needed a case."

Dean snorted and wobbled his head. "The dick finally returned one of Sam's million texts."

Cesar sensed some hurt in Dean's words and raised his eyebrow. "Did Cas not return your texts?"

"I didn't text that jackass. He can run away to Timbuktu for all I care," Dean said in a way that Cesar knew wasn't true.

A loud crash and horses neighing interrupted their conversation and the peaceful sounds outside. "Oh, no," Cesar groaned.

"Sounds like Dorothy again," Jesse called as he emerged from the bathroom. "I'll go calm her down. She likes me better." Jesse tottered two steps, but then stood up straighter and turned around. "Maybe not." He rushed back into the bathroom.

"Can I help?" Dean asked.

Cesar shook his head. "She doesn't like strangers. Stay inside." He rushed out the back door and turned toward the barn.

He followed the sounds of huff beats and neighing around the cars to the yard between the barn and the house. In the moonlight he saw Castiel standing firm in front of a bucking horse. Cesar started running and opened his mouth to warn Cas of the danger, when the Angel in a trench coat dodged down and slid to his left, brushing the side of the horse's face as front hooves slammed down where Cas was standing moments before. The horse quieted, fidgeted some between her front and hind feet, and then lowered her head to Castiel. He gently moved his hand to her nose, between her eyes. Cas stared into her left eye. She sighed and closed her eyes.

Cesar stopped running and walked in cautious amazement to the pair. When he was within 10 feet he spoke, "I've never seen anything like that before."

The horse opened her eyes at the sounds of his voice, stomped her front hoof. Cas gently caressed her nose and she stopped. "She is in a lot of pain."

"She's hurt? Where? Can you heal her?"

"No, not physical pain. She's frightened. Lost. Alone."

"Is that another one of your powers? Talking to animals?"

Cas smiled slightly. "Not exactly. I can see it in her actions. Images in her head. I can feel it radiating from her. I know what grieving feels like." His hand brushed some scars on her flank.

Cesar nodded. "We got her as a rescue a few weeks ago. She was in rough shape. We don't know exactly what happened there." Cas nodded as Cesar continued. "She seems fine one minute, then the next we find her out of her stall, kicking over the mailbox or terrorizing the chickens. We started calling her Dorothy Dietrich, after the escape artist, because we can't seem to keep her from getting out."

Dorothy nuzzled inside Cas's coat at his pocket, and Cas smiled again. "Perhaps another strategy is needed. A free spirit cannot be contained unless it chooses to be." He reached into his inside pocket and found a chocolate bar he had forgotten about. He bought for Jack before it all went wrong. Cas could feel that it was broken and slightly melted inside the wrapping. The smile left his face. Dorothy sensed something was wrong and stopped her efforts to steal the candy from Cas.

After a moment, Cas rolled back his shoulders and composed himself. "Chocolate probably isn't good for horses."

"No, not good at all," Cesar replied.

Cas slid the candy back into his pocket. "What is good to feed them?"

Cesar motioned to the barn. "Follow me. We've got some food in the barn." Cesar led the way. Castiel followed at Dorothy's side hand resting gently on her neck.

Cesar showed them to a small room adjacent to the main barn. Dorothy couldn't fit inside, but she waited outside, not letting her new friend out of her sight. Cesar gave Castiel a few carrots as a treat for Dorothy. They both petted Dorothy as Cas fed her.

"How were you able to calm her down?" Cesar asked.

Cas replied to Cesar, but his eyes remained on Dorothy. "A little Grace, compassion. I shared some of my grief with her. She feels slightly less alone. For now."

"Your grief?"

Castiel stiffened. "I don't want to talk about it," he spit out quickly.

Cesar nodded. "I meant what I said before. You don't have to leave. We've got the space in house for everyone to sleep."

Cas continued to comb Dorothy's neck as he watched her chomp down on the last carrot. "I don't require sleep."

"Really? That must get…lonely."

Cas tilted his head and looked at Cesar. "Few humans fathomed that before." Cesar guessed whom the 'humans' were that Cas was referring to. Cas looked back at Dorothy, but continued the topic. "It wasn't as lonely when I was associated with Heaven. Or had my wings. I could find something to do, watch. I spent a few days chasing sunsets once."

Cesar and Castiel led Dorothy back to her stall. Cesar asked, "What happened to your wings?"

Cas sighed. It was his fault, but he tried not to dwell on that then. "Few angels have functioning wings anymore. We lost them in The Fall: the unexplained meteor shower a few years ago. No more teleporting, time traveling. We can dream walk if we have physical contact, but not across distances anymore."

Cesar latched Dorothy's door, but didn't bother putting a padlock back on. It didn't seem to make a difference anyway. "It sounds as though you've had to do a lot of reinventing yourself."

Cas raised an eyebrow. "Isn't that life? Although I must admit, I've had more 'life' these last few years than the last millennia as a soldier in 'God's' army," Castiel used air quotes around 'God'. He paused. "I don't regret rebelling from heaven. I've enjoyed my life." He sighed and rubbed Dorothy's nose through the stall door.

Their conversation lulled and Cesar looked back toward the house. "Even if you don't sleep, you can stay, Cas." A light went on in Cesar's head. "If you don't want to help on the hunt, you could help around here. We should track the chupacabra tomorrow during the day, and I don't know how long that'll take. Chores around the ranch will still need to get done, and Jesse's not going to be able to handle it alone with his broken leg."

Guilt about not being able to heal the injured hunter hit Cas. The Angel looked around the barn and nodded. "I would like that."

Cesar smiled. "Great. We can get you set up in the house –"

Cas shook his head. "I think I'll prefer to stay out here, if you don't mind. Everyone will be sleeping in a few hours anyway."

"We're not going to turn into pumpkins yet," Cesar joked. Cas furrowed his brow, but Cesar continued. "Come in. Have a beer with us."

Cas shook his head again. "I'm fine out here."

Cesar sighed. "If you need anything, you know where we'll be."

[1] From episode 4x01 "Lazarus rising."

[2] From episode 10x17 "Inside Man."

[3] From episode 15x6 "Golden Time."

Next Chapter: The Briefing – Beers in the kitchen.