Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am to a spiritual level beyond material possessions. Therefore, I must borrow everyone else's.

Incoming text messages bolded.

Outgoing texts are italicized.

Emoji/emoticons in *stars*

The Ponderosa Experience: Chapter 3 – The Briefing

When Cesar opened the outside door into the kitchen, he found Dean and Jesse sitting at the table, Dean with a beer, Jesse begrudgingly with a soda.

"You okay? Did she bite you again?" Jesse asked.

Cesar opened the refrigerator and pulled out a beer of his own. "No, Cas had it handled before I even got there."

Dean was taken aback. "I thought you said the horse didn't like strangers."

Jesse nodded. "She barely tolerates Cesar."

Cesar shrugged. "Well, she likes Cas. She followed him back to the barn. Let him pet and feed her. She didn't even put up a fuss when we put her back in her stall."

"No accounting for taste," Dean mumbled, took a swig, and stared at his beer bottle in his hands. Both husbands heard the comment, and sent messages via facial expressions and married eye language, but neither had been able to divulge the source of the tension between the Angel and the Hunter.

"I like him too," Cesar added loudly. He popped the top off his beer and took a drink.

Jesse gave him a teasing side eye. "You like him, eh? Eh?"

Cesar rolled his eyes. "You already 'put a ring on it,' Jesse. My god." Dean's eyes widened and then gave the pair side-eye when the implication finally clicked. The husbands noticed, but ignored it.

Jesse laughed. "I just like to hear you say your mine, babe." He grinned at his annoyed husband. Remembering company, Jesse shook his head and asked, "Is Cas coming in for a beer?"

Cesar paused, looking from the ceiling to Dean then to Jesse. "No, but I convinced him to stay. He volunteered to help you with chores tomorrow while Dean and I track the monster."

Jesse grabbed his crutches and stood. "I think we still have one clean set of sheets for the couch in the front room."

Cesar raised his hand and shook his head. "He wants to stay in the barn."

Jesse was taken aback. "What? He knows humans sleep in houses, not barns, right?" He turned to Dean. "Is this like a Little Mermaid fork-dingle hopper thing?"

When Dean didn't answer, Cesar shrugged. "A pile of hay may be more comfortable than that couch, anyway," he joked.

"That couch is magnificent!" Jesse opened his mouth to say more, but his face suddenly soured. "Dammit, nature calls, again." He hobbled quickly to the bathroom.

Cesar pulled out a third chair from the table. "I failed, but perhaps someone else could convince Cas to come inside."

Dean's eyes became slits then he turned to his beer. "Wouldn't be me."

"Why's that? I thought you'd known each other for years."

"That's nothing. He's lived millions of years."

"That's not how he described his life."

Dean's eyes narrowed. "What did he tell you?"

"Very little. Just that he felt he had had several lifetimes worth of experiences since he left 'God's' army. And he used air quotes for some reason."

Dean shrugged. "He's got Daddy issues."

"Don't we all?"

Dean smirked at a memory. "Last time he had Daddy issues he drank a liquor store, and we had to kill the Whore of Babylon. He was an angry, sassy drunk. Hilarious." He chuckled. "I have no idea how he managed to fly there, as drunk as he was."

"So that was before The Fall, and he lost his wings?"

Dean side-eyed him. "He told you about The Fall? Did you paint each others nails too?"

Cesar strangely felt as though he needed to defend himself. Was Dean jealous that Cas answered a few of his questions? The mystery behind this entire situation grew even more uncomfortable. "He mentioned his wings in passing, and I asked a follow-up question. I don't know much about Angels."

"Well, they're dicks." He glared through the kitchen door toward the barn. "All of them. You'd think after watching humanity for thousands of years, they'd get it, but they're clueless. And once you think they might have finally got it, it blows up in your face."

Cesar's eyes narrowed at the implications of Dean's words. "Should we not trust Cas? Your brother asked him to help us out. Was Sam wrong?"

Dean shook his head. "No, sorry. Cas is usually all right. He tries to help. Just… don't get too close."

"'Too close'?" Cesar repeated, hoping Dean might elaborate. Instead Dean finished his beer and then looked everywhere but at Cesar.

Their uncomfortable silence was interrupted when Jesse returned. He settled back into his seat at the table. He finished off his soda and brandished the empty bottle. "Babe, I'm out."

Cesar walked over to the fridge as he asked, "Are you sure you should be drinking this much? You're already going to the bathroom every five minutes."

"Hey, I chose to drink soda and not beer tonight without being nagged about how it messes with my meds. I think I should be rewarded for my sacrifice."

Cesar decided not to argue and pulled out a bottle. "Do you need another, Dean?"

"Sure."

Cesar closed the refrigerator, popped off the tops of the drinks and handed them out.

Jesse took a swig and turned to Dean. "You seemed surprised to see Cas here."

"Yeah, Sammy didn't mention him when I texted him." Dean's eyes narrowed. "He probably wanted alone time with his newly resurrected girlfriend." [1]

Both Cesar and Jesse made disgusted faces. "Zombies?" "Necromancy?"

"No, uh. She was a ghost, and Sam found a one-time-use spell to build her body back." Dean shrugged. "I guess it is a little like necromancy, but she's not dead or decaying or attacking people." The conversation revived Dean's memories of the necromancy case he worked with Jack. It was right before souled Jack got sick. Jack asked him about love and he fell to the floor. Saying goodbye was too painful for him as Jack died [2]. And less than a year later Dean let God manipulate him to put a gun to the kid's head. [3] Dean clenched his jaw and his fist. What even was he that he could react like that?

The room grew uncomfortably silent as the couple wondered what Dean was thinking about.

To clear his head, Dean coughed. He took a swig and slammed the beer bottle on the table. He clapped his hands together. "Now what's going on with this monster?"

Jesse and Cesar shared a look of bewilderment at Dean's reactions, but neither had insight to offer the other. Jesse cleared his throat and laid out the last few days.

"Our neighbor to the north called us. He'd lost a few of his herd and a dog to what he thought was coyotes. He asked if we'd come and help patrol and track 'em down. As out of the game as we are, we didn't think to ask questions to make sure they were coyotes. It's not all that unusual for coyotes to take a calf or something.

"Anyway, we headed out, there was five of us: the couple, their eldest, and us. We split up to cover more ground, but we stayed in radio contact. I was near the east edge of the herd when I noticed the night was eerily silent. I shined my flashlight on the herd, and it caught my eye. It was the smallest chupacabra I'd ever seen. I must have scared the shit out of it, because it leapt at me, which I, again, thought was weird. They usually just try and sneak off. I blocked it with my rifle, but I fell back, and shot in the air, scaring the sleeping herd. In the chaos one of them stepped on my leg before running off. I don't know when, but the chupacabra got a few licks, because I was unknowing bleeding by the time they found me."

Cesar took over the story. "After Jesse managed to tell me what it was, I saw some tracks, but I was more concerned with his injuries."

"And making up something so the muggles didn't freak out." Jesse added.

Cesar continued, "Besides, tracking a chupacabra in the dark is a desperate move. They're solitary, but quick, agile, and silent. It's better to wait until daylight when you can track them to their lair and wait them out."

"So a day of tracking and a stakeout tomorrow?" Dean asked.

Cesar nodded and stood. He took his bottle to rinse in the sink. "We should try to get out as early as we can. Hopefully we can get most of the tracking finished before it gets too hot. Then return in the evening."

"Sounds like a plan." Dean clapped. "When should we head out tomorrow?"

"We should have enough light at 5 am."

Dean checked his watch. "Damn, I should get a few hours then. Where can I sleep?"

Cesar got Dean settled in his and Jesse's room upstairs in the house. Cesar pulled out a few days worth of clothes for him and his husband before retiring to the office/guest bedroom downstairs.

As soon as Cesar closed the door, Jesse exclaimed, "What is going on with those two asshats?"

"A little louder, dear? I don't think Cas heard you in the barn."

"I'm sure he did. Angels got super hearing." Jesse waved his phone at his husband. "I googled it."

"Anything in there about increasing the tension in a room?"

Jesse shook his head. "It isn't any Angel power according to the lore. But, seriously, what was that? The tension was so thick that if my pee emergency didn't give me an adrenaline boost, I think I would have bounced off it."

Cesar hated gossiping, but whatever was going on was he didn't like being blind. He sighed. "I don't know, but I'm going to ask the orchestrator." He waved his own phone at the injured man.

Cesar turned off the lights, and crawled into bed beside his husband. They bathed in the glow of his cell phone as Cesar held it out so Jesse could read his text, then bickered quietly over wording, context, and emojis.

With Dean out on a hunt, Sam was used to the peaceful silence of the bunker. Not pots, pans, and doors being slammed all over the kitchen at all hours of the night. When he got there, he saw Eileen opening and slamming the icebox doors.

"What are you looking for?" he asked while her face was in a cubby. When he didn't get a response, he smacked his forehead. He walked over and tapped her on the shoulder. "What are you looking for?" He said and clumsily signed.

She rolled her eyes, brought her fingers to her lips, clasped like a puppet mouth, and tapped. "Food," she said.

Sam looked around at what was there. "I can make something good, but it'll take a while," he said and signed the words he knew.

"No." Two fingers snapped to her thumb. Eileen continued to sign as she talked. "Faster. Now that I've gotten the sleep I didn't get while I was dead - total disappointment there - I need food. Lots. Chocolate cake."

Sam opened the icebox. He remembered to turn around so she could see his lips, since he didn't know the signs: "Grilled cheese?"

Her fingers tapped each other while facing Sam, thumbs hidden. "More."

He pulled some items from the icebox, and then he grabbed a can from the shelving unit. "Tomato soup?"

Her fingers tapped each other again. "More."

He threw a half-full yellow bag onto the counter. "Chocolate chips for dessert?"

Her fingers tapped each other again. "More."

Sam pulled a handful of menus from a drawer. "Grilled cheese with soup and chocolate chips while we order take-out?"

Eileen wobbled her head while considering the offer. "Better. Grocery shopping tomorrow. And you need a better variety of alcohol. You go from beer to old man Brandy without anything in between."

Sam nodded. "Fair enough."

Sam bustled around the kitchen prepping the pan and bread for grilled cheese while Eileen when through the menus and wrote down a list of what she wanted from restaurants that were open late. Sam was surprised at its length, but made the calls while Eileen took over the stove. When he returned Eileen was sitting at the table sipping from a bowl. There was a steaming bowl set across from her, and only two of the four sandwiches he prepped were sitting on a plate between the two settings. The chocolate chips were nowhere to be found.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "You were not kidding about being hungry."

"I never kid about food."

Sam settled down in his seat and picked up one of the sandwiches to dip. He saw Eileen eyeing the last sandwich. He smiled and pushed the plate toward her. Her eyes lit up, and she smiled.

Halfway through his sandwich, Sam heard a ping and a shake on his phone. He set the remainder of his sandwich down for a second, but the way Eileen's eyes followed it to the plate made him think twice. Instead he finished it quickly before wiping the grease from his fingers to unlock his phone.

It was a text message from Cesar: I feel the need to point out that our ranch isn't a couples counseling center.

Eileen, completely finished with her food, craned her neck to read his message and then tapped him for more information. "I sent Cas out on a case that Dean also headed out on. Unknowingly," he defended quickly. Eileen raised her eyebrow in reply. "Okay. It was unknowingly at first, then it was uncaringly."

Sam sighed and typed a reply to the retired Hunters. I'm sorry, man. I didn't plan it that way, but once I saw it playing out, I didn't move to stop it.

It was a dick move.

Eileen nodded approvingly when he showed her his reply. "Why is Cas and Dean out on a case together a problem? Aren't they 'best friends'?" she added air quotes appropriately.

"You see it too?" Then he realized. "How? You haven't even met Cas."

"Dean called him, like 100 times, when we went after Dagon. It was a little overboard for best friends." [4]

Sam rolled his eyes. "No kidding. Wait until you are in the same room when they start - " Sam's eyes lit up as he realized he knew two descriptive signs to describe the action. He pointed to the outside corner of his eye, then tapped the tips of his straightened index and middle fingers of his hands together while tucking his other fingers out of the way.

"Serious?" She repeated the two signs. Then she smirked, wondering when Sam learned the second sign.

The Winchester nodded. "My mom had to go outside for a cigarette once, it was so intense." Sam swiped through his phone, tapped it, and then turned it around so Eileen could see. It was Cas and Dean standing in the library, maybe a foot apart and looking at each other.

Eileen shrugged. "I don't get that from a photo."

Sam smirked. "It's a video." He tapped the screen to show the time marker at 12 seconds.

"Damn."

Sam's phone chimed again. He turned to toward himself to see his new message. Cesar replied: No, I think the *eggplant* *eggplant* are at our place.

Sam raised his eyebrows and moved to the stool on the same side of the bench as Eileen. He told himself it was so she could read the messages easier, but he didn't fully buy it himself. They're both still there? Sam asked.

"Sounds promising," Eileen remarked.

Cesar replied a few seconds later: Dean and I are going to set up a hunt tomorrow; Cas is going to help out around the ranch since Jesse's lame.

Sam's forehead knotted. Cas couldn't heal him?

The reply was almost sharp in how quickly it came. How can you expect someone with so much pain to heal someone else? And then a few seconds later: Cas mentioned he was grieving.

Sam ignored Eileen's questioning face until he sent his reply: Yeah, we've had some big losses recently. Jack was like a son to Cas. Me, Dean, and Cas were trying to raise him, but you know the life. Sam sighed reflectively and put down his phone.

Eileen rubbed his back. "I'm sorry."

Sam shrugged and turned his face to her as he spoke, and signed the few words he knew. "It's still fresh. Some days I forget. Other days…" he looked up at the walls and ceiling of the bunker, "the silence in this place can be deafening." Sam reached across the table and grabbed his bowl to finish his soup.

Eileen's eyes were crossed between sympathy and curiosity. "Is it okay if I ask a few questions? You can tell me if it's too personal." Sam nodded after taking a spoonful.

"How'd you have time to adopt and raise a kid? I was only dead for, like, 3 years."

Sam chuckled half-heartedly. "Jack is Kelly Kline's nephilim. She died in childbirth."

Eileen nodded and took a drink of her beer. "'Three Men and Rosemary's Baby'. Nice twist for a reboot." Eileen was disappointed that her joke didn't even crack a smile. She realized that Sam was still grieving too.

"He wasn't evil. He was just a kid." Sam squinted at the absurdity of his life that he regarded as normal. "Although he came out in a twenty-year-olds body. Mind of a kid, though." Sam chucked again. "After he was born, he wandered around this small town naked looking for Cas. No one knew what to make of him. The Sheriff's son fed him some candy. He was totally addicted. Especially nougat. [5]" Sam smiled at no one in particular, then started frantically scrolling through his phone. He showed Eileen a selfie that he took with Jack. "This was Jack." He pushed his phone toward Eileen and encouraged her to look at more pictures as he finished his dinner. The vibration and ping of the phone interrupted the show and tell.

I know the life, was Cesar's reply. He said a lot with those few words.

Sam apologized again: I'm sorry to dump this at your doorstep.

The phone vibrated again, and Eileen snorted at Cesar's reply before showing Sam: What exactly is 'this' *garbage can* *fire*?

Sam put down his spoon frantically typed: THEY WON'T TELL ME.

We should be getting paid for this.

Sam typed his response in a fury. Imagine living with them for YEARS.

Sam set down his phone facedown and picked up the empty dishes at the table. He walked over and deposited them in the sink. When he turned back to Eileen, he struggled to put a smile on his face. "I should probably head out to get the take-out."

Eileen noticed Sam's lack of sincerity; he was still thinking about Jack. The concern look on her face turned to a perky smile. "Okay, but only if you tell me more nougat stories when you get back."

Sam's smile became genuine. "I promise." He pushed off the sink and picked up his phone. On the way to the garage, his phone signaled him again.

How long had they been together?

Sam winced. He debated how much to tell them, but ultimately he decided to keep it simple and not be a gossip. They act like it, but they aren't really a couple, he replied

Cesar's next message was a series of periods. A minute or two later came, Seriously, we should be getting paid for this. Sam had no reply to that.

A few minutes later, Sam's phone pinged again. This time the message was from Dean: You'd better be enjoying your alone time with Eileen, Bitch.

Jerk, was Sam's reply.

[1] Episode 15x06 "Golden Time".

[2] Episode 14x06 "Optimism" is the one with the zombie; then Jack dies over the following two episodes.

[3] Episode 14x20 "Moriah".

[4] Episode 12x17 "The British Invasion".

[5] Episode 13x01 "Lost and Found".

Next Chapter: The Hunt – Cesar and Dean track the chupacabra while Jesse and Cas intercept a trespasser at the ranch.

I thought about doing a side story with Sam and Eileen during this story, but my inspiration was low, and it began to feel more like an obstacle. So, this is the last you'll hear about them. You'll have to imagine your own tales about groceries, exploring the bunker, and margaritas.