Buffy sat with Tara at the Bronze. A familiar song played softly in the background, and though the place was packed, Buffy couldn't really hear anyone else talking.

"If it helps, I know what you're going through," Tara spoke.

"What?" Buffy turned back to her.

"It's hard to forgive someone you love for hurting you when you are most vulnerable. Especially when you don't realize you love them. Or won't let yourself love them."

"Tara, tell me you're not talking about Spike."

"It's O.K. if you love him Buffy. He's done good things and he loves you..."

"Loves me?" Buffy felt like crying. "Tara, he tried...he tried to force himself on me when I was hurt from a fight. How can someone who loves me do that?"

"Willow messed with my mind, Buffy. She made me remember what she wanted me to remember. What they did to both of us was horrible, unspeakable. But I forgave her, Buffy. Not just for her, but for me. I gave her a chance to make things right. Let him try to make it right. He really does love you. It just sometimes gets lost beneath all of the darkness in him. He has done nothing but regret it since it happened."

"What he did was unforgiveable."

Spike suddenly stepped out of the crowd and up to where she and Tara sat.

"Buffy, please. I'm so sorry. You're everything to me. I love you so much."

"You love nothing." Buffy felt the tears. "You're a disgusting thing that I should have killed a long time ago."

"Then do it!" Spike fell to his knees in front of her. "If you can't forgive me then end my suffering. I can't be sorry any more than I already am! I can't keep fighting myself for you. I can't love you when I know I should hate you!"

Tara suddenly jumped up from the table. "I tried. You know I tried!" She disappeared with a flash.

"Tara?" Buffy looked to where she had been, then back to Spike.
He crumbled to dust in front of her.

Buffy stared in shock. "Spike?"

"Spike's gone." A man stood up on stage, a silhouette, his features flooded out by the lights. But it was that same voice as before. "I remain. You got what you wanted. Am I enough Buffy? I wonder if I can make you scream like he could."

Buffy woke with a start, once again drenched in sweat. The dreams were happening every night now. It had almost been a month since they started and during that time period, there had been absolutely no demon or vampire activity. That in itself made Buffy nervous. It was like the calm before the storm.

But factor in these dreams...

Buffy shivered. She had to go to work. She just hoped she wouldn't feel so haunted all day long.

"Can I get a cappuccino?" Dawn asked Buffy as they sat with Willow and Zander at the Bronze, listening to the band.

"Sure." Buffy handed Dawn a ten. "Get me one too."

"You O.K. Buffy? You look beat and we haven't had any vampy action lately," Zander asked, looking concerned.

"I know. I'm not sleeping well at night. I've been having these strange dreams"
"You've had them since that one last month?" Willow asked.

Buffy nodded. "And they're increasing in frequency. It's not some sort of nightmare anymore. They're premonitions. They change, but one thing's always the same. Someone kills Spike for me."

"And that's a bad thing...how?" Zander growled.

"I don't know. But I always end up crying in those dreams. And when I wake up. I think that whatever kills him...might be worse."

"Or maybe you just don't want him to die," Willow put in softly.

Dawn returned then. "What did I miss?"

Buffy sipped her cappuccino. "Dream analysis."

"Really? Well, I've been having this dream, I'm being chased by a bear and..."

Spike watched Buffy from his seat at the bar. His beer sat in front of him, untouched. He preferred hard liquor, not this watered down crap. He had only ordered it to get the bartender off his back.

Even from where he was sitting, he could tell how sad Buffy looked. He wished it was because she was missing him, but knew it wasn't true.

Two guys walked in the bar and sat down next to him, ordering beers. Spike was ignoring them until...

"Hey Parker, isn't that Buffy Summers over there?"

Spike turned back to them.

"Yeah, that's her alright." The brown haired man grinned.

"You hit that, right?"

"Oh yeah." Parker grinned. "All night long."

"That's what I'm talking about." The blond haired guy slapped his hand.

"Wasn't too bad either. But the next morning, she was all 'isn't this a relationship?'"

The two laughed and Spike felt his blood boil.

"It was so pathetic. Stupid bimbo."

"Maybe you should watch what you say about women, mate," Spike growled.

"Excuse me man?" Parker sized him up and apparently Spike didn't measure up well. His mistake.

"You heard me pouf. You need to shut your mouth where Buffy Summers is concerned."

"You gonna make me, mate?" Parker swaggered.

Long ago, the man known as William would have walked away or gotten pummeled.

But now he was Spike. A badass vampire over a century old with his soul back. The William half of him was aching to finally stand up for himself, and the demon half rejoiced that he would finally be able to harm a human again.

Spike hit him so hard Parker flew off his chair and landed on the floor quite a distance away, screaming and holding his jaw.

Buffy's head whipped around at the sound of a fight.

"Easy Buffy. It's just a bar fight," Zander soothed.

"Maybe." Buffy watched the fight and saw the victor get up. A man with bleached white hair with dark brown highlights in it, wearing a long black coat. He looked in her direction.

"Or maybe my dreams make sense now. Spike's chipless."

Spike swore. This was not how he wanted her to see him again. Pummeling her ex. He took off for the exit.

She caught up with him in the alley. "Spike."

His heart leaped when he heard her voice say his name again. All through those dark months, it had been her ghost that kept him sane. The memory of her voice.

And it had been the memory of one moment that haunted him, more than all those he had savagely murdered.

It flashed back to him in that moment, paralyzing him, bringing a pain so horrible he felt nauseous.

"You have got to be the most incredibly stupid vampire in all of history." Her voice was hard, full of pain and hate. "You have the audacity to show up here after what you did to me and after you lost your chip. Thanks for making it easier." She pulled out a stake.

"Buffy...love...I have so much to tell you."

"You have no right to call me that. And I'm through listening." She attacked him with a series of kicks. He bore the brunt of two and caught the third, knocking her down.

"I've been helping you, Slayer. Haven't you noticed how dead it's been around here? I've been killing your enemies."

"And Parker was just another of the list?" She flipped up easily and went at him again.

"He was saying nasty things about you. I punched him once. Maybe twice."

"Chip doesn't allow you to touch a human, Spike."

"I don't need the chip anymore."

"You're right. Because you're going to be dust."

"Buffy...Buffy!" He warded off her blows and caught her arms, pining them to her sides. The stake went clattering to the pavement.

He looked into her eyes. "Please listen to me for a moment. After all I've done for you, I deserve that much." He slid his arms around her. "All those dark months, all I wanted was to hold you in my arms again," he brushed a strand of hair from her face. "To touch your hair, your face..."

"Don't!" Buffy forced him away with a strangled sob. "You have no right to touch me. Not now. Not after you tried to rape me!"

The words seemed to sting them both. They stood staring at each other.

"Buffy please. I'm so sorry. I would love to be able to take it back, but I can't. I'm trying to make it up to you."

"Slaying for me is not going to make it up!"

"That isn't all I've done for you. I'm trying to be what you want me to be. I did it all for you love. It's what you deserve."

Buffy stumbled back, feeling cold, knowing where she'd heard those words before. "What?" She just then realized his voice sounded just a little different.

"Buffy, I can't say sorry enough. You're everything to me. I love you so much."

"You love nothing!" Buffy felt the tears. "You're a disgusting thing that I should have killed a long time ago."

"Then do it!" Spike fell to his knees in front of her, holding up the stake. "If you can't forgive me, then end my suffering! All those nights when the memories were too much for me to handle and all I could hear was your voice over and over again begging me to stop. Finally seeing the pain in your eyes that I couldn't see before. I have done nothing, nothing since that night but regret that it happened. I have spent so many nights tormented by it, screaming until I didn't have a voice left; yet still continuing. I asked for this pain for you. If you can't love me, then do what you're supposed to do and KILL ME!"

Buffy felt the tears streaming down her face. "What have you done Spike?"

"You know what I've done, Slayer. What I've done to prove my love to you. To seek redemption." He got up and walked over to her, taking her hand and placing it on his chest, holding it there. They were standing so close together, Buffy felt like she couldn't breathe.

"Can you feel it?" he asked softly, almost in a whisper. "Flowing through my dead heart. Or is it in my brain? I'm not sure where it's housed"
Buffy looked into his eyes. "Oh my God. William."

"Buffy?" she heard Dawn's voice.

"Buffy, you O.K.?" Zander called.

Buffy stepped away from Spike. "Just a minute you guys." "Buffy, was it Spike?" Willow rounded the corner. "Well, yeah." Buffy turned back but Spike was gone.

"Did you dust him?" Zander asked.

"No, he was right here a second ago."

"Must not have wanted to see us," Dawn grumbled.

"More like afraid to," Zander growled.

"Was his chip not working anymore?" Willow asked.

"That's one way of putting it. Another would be Spike has a soul." "You're not serious," Zander walked up to her. Come on, Buffy, you know he's lying."

"No I don't think he is," Buffy said softly. "I think that's what my dreams have been trying to tell me."