"Zevran….Zevran!" I scowl as the male smiles sadly, avoiding me like the plague as we enter Skyhold.
"I apologise but I must tend to…sharpening my blades?" Innocently he smiles.
"If that was an innuendo that's a pretty shitty one coming from you," I point out as he flees and I sigh, chasing after the idiot, eventually finding him on the battlements, looking out at the snowy mountain side.
"Right you done running away?" I grumble frowning at him arms crossed as he sits on the battlements, leaning over, looking out over the snowy mountains of Skyhold.
"Not really, never," Smugly, he smirks looking back at me, a fake smile plastered on him.
"Can we at least talk about what Cole said?" I demand annoyed at him for avoiding the matter at hand.
"And ruin what we have? Nah…" Zevran smiles waving me off, making my eyebrow twitch at the ass.
"Zevran, it's okay…" Softly, I try to assure him, trying to do as Hawke and Eve would do.
"It isn't though you…love someone else," Zevran sighs sadly looking down ashamed.
"Love's a bit strong there…" I mutter my tone nervous at the thought.
"Oh don't lie. You and I, both of us kindred souls, but I always noted your fear of commitment, fear of getting hurt but throughout the years I never did the one thing he wanted and what I'm good at…talking. You never opened up to me, it hurt sometimes but I just though with time and then days passed to months and then years and still you never spoke to me. It still hurt seeing how open you are with them and I thought we were friends," He confesses sadly, my eyes widening at how in depth and heartfelt his genuine words are.
"We are…" I reassure him, not adjusted to this agreement, I mean Isabelle and I don't talk about the past unless we need to or want to, cause we both have the same understanding that the past is in the past for a reason, there's no need to bring it up when there are nicer topics to speak off like freedom and hats.
"Then why won't you talk to me?" He demands hurt evident in his tone surprising me as he sharply turns to me, his eyes glassy as I sigh, massaging my temple from the pain that is this torturous conversation.
"Because friends don't have to talk about their issues, sometimes friends can just be friends. You don't need to open up to someone or talk about their issues you can just be mates, who meet at the pub and chat…" I reason to him calmly, hoping he can understand. I want his friendship I do I just... don't like talking about such sensitive topics with me, which is why I don't get angry when people speak ill of elven people, because well for one they aren't my people and second I don't want to bring up issues, cause if I stick up for them, they would find a weak spot of mine and abuse it. I've seen it done to numerous people and I won't be a victim to my anger, the only time I do get angry concerning the elven is when they presume I'm one of them. I'm my own person, foremost and first most, no one is going to take that from me…
"You…you know you've changed I hadn't realized it until now back then you were…" Softly, Zevran smiles.
"A little shit," I interrupt frowning.
"I wouldn't call you that," Zevran chuckles lightly.
"You're joking right? I hated the world, had a boner for killing mages heck, I even had the emo fringe going on. I'm surprised Hawke and the others didn't belt me when I was younger, I would have certainly hit my younger self if I could…" I bring up, frowning at the thought of my young edgy broody state, god I hated myself, I had as Varric called it a sword up my ass.
"I thought you were beautiful, when Isabela introduced me I was in awe, you were so beautiful, so amazing, so powerful and when I looked into your eyes, you had a fire, a fire I saw anger at the world and saw power but I never pictured you being weak not in the slightest, heck when we made love you were always in control, never had a chance…" Zevran reminisces sombrely.
"Did you have to mention that…?" I grumble, coughing awkwardly at the memory.
"Not really but it lightened the mood didn't it?" Zevran shrugs snickering as I frown.
"No. It just made it awkward," I point out dead panned as he snickers once more.
"For you maybe…" He shrugs innocently batting his eyelashes making me roll my eyes once more.
"So…we can still be friends? I mean…" Zevran trials off almost fearful as I scoff.
"Yes and the relationship we had…it's over Zev it is. I just…I still want to be friends but that's it nothing else," I state the fact clear as day as Zev stares almost in still shock.
"You must really love him," Zev brings up making me wince.
"Again with that word!?" I grumble complaining hissing to myself.
"Fen, throughout the years I've known you, you've never been tied down instead you were quite rebellious, the goddess of rebellion I'd call you. So to see someone as rebellious as you, be tamed by some calm and composed man is shocking…I'd never thought I'd see the day you would have a genuine relationship…" Bitter sweetly, he smiles.
"I haven't been tamed, hell I didn't even know what one was…" I confess lowly earning a wry chuckle from Zevran.
"Of course you didn't, he better treat you well," Zev smirks coyly.
"Shouldn't you be having that talk with him…?" I question furrowing my brow as he laughs.
"Perhaps at a later date…" Fleeting, he smiles standing up, approaching me as I raise a brow, surprised as I feel his lips gently peck my temple.
"I love you Fennic. Goodbye," He whispers sadly, pain in his tone as I frown.
"I'm not dead yet dumbass...geez lighten up," I huff chuckling nervously at his declaration, refusing to look him in the eye.
"True, I just…" Sadly, he brings me into a awkward hug as I briefly flinch, not sure what to do I pat his back, coughing awkwardly removing himself from me as he smiles and leaves…leaving me alone to think.
Exhausted, I lower my head staring numbly at the stone wall of the battlements, feeling the cool crisp wind of the mountains snap me back into reality as I hear the soft sound of footsteps as I try to level my breathe releasing a pained sigh as I turn to a sheepish Eve, my eyes browns raised curious to what she entails for me…
"Wanna hang out?"
"Did I hear right, Zevran? You were an Antivan Crow? I've heard of them. You don't get many in the Imperium," Loudly, Dorian's voice echoes above Solas as he frowns at yet another annoying voice nagging and interrupting his work.
"Well, yes. Do not take this the wrong way my friend, but it is hard to assassinate someone when so many other people have already lined up to try," Zevran jokes lightly furthering aggravating Solas at the voice of the charismatic yet obnoxious man, who so happens to be one of the many ex-lovers his partner had hid from him…
"None taken," Laughing, Dorian chuckles making Solas brow twitch in aggravation.
"Those tattoos, Zevran. Do they mean anything?" Dorian enquires curious.
"Oh, these?" Zevran laughs gesturing to his facial tattoos.
"There serve only to emphasize what is already there, my friend. I have more if you'd like to see them," Flirtatiously, Zevran offers.
"Well, perhaps I would. Though I would have to speak to Bull about it," Dorian mutters.
"The more the merrier!" Cheerfully, Zevran expresses as Solas lowers his head, shaking it in disgust at the male above him only then to hear their farewells, bringing a great relief to Solas until hearing the sound of incoming footsteps from the stairs by his office, wait…no…no!
Frowning, Solas focuses on his work, his brow furrowed as he attempts to focus on his research only for each time and time again to hear a familiar taunting voice of Fennic resonating in his mind. Fed up, he removes himself from his desk, shaking as he plops himself on his seat, head down infuriated as he tries to cool off, feeling a wave of emotions he tries to keep under check through mediation, through painting through walking through the fade but each and every time, he is disturbed by the sly voice each and every time, breaking him out of his focus, none of this would have happened if he didn't arrive if he…
"Ah Solas my dear friend!" Brightly, Zevran's chirpy voice greets the scowling male.
Of course he's here, Solas thinks to himself, annoyed as he tries to hide his temper, focusing on the sketchpad in his hands, head down to try to relax and ignore the burden in his area.
"You are a rather quiet fellow, aren't you?" Joyfully, Zevran's chirpy voice breaks the tension as reluctantly, Solas turns to him frowning.
"I do not feel the need to speak simply to fill silence, if that is what you mean," Solas remarks bitterness etched into his tone.
"I see. Should I take this to mean you are shy? In need of someone to lavish you with attention? Bring you out of your shell? I can be very encouraging in that regard," Zevran smirks slyly at the frowning Solas.
"Hmm," Blandly, Solas ignores him focusing on the picture before him, he had done this after Halamshiral, fortunately remembering her beautiful attire, a part of him hoping to have seen her in elven formal attire, but still even then she still looked beautiful in his eyes.
"You do not speak much," Groaning, Solas grumbles as Zevran continues clearly, not taking note of the tension in the room, despite being an assassin.
"You speak more than enough for the both of us," Solas remarks dryly.
"A-ha! Yes, true. But what fun is talking if you don't have a partner to do it with?" Zevran counters.
"I'm sure you will let me know eventually," Solas mutters annoyance etched into his tone as he continues his art hoping for the elf to leave him in peace…sadly, it's Zevran.
"How long have you travelled alone, Solas?" Zevran questions looking up at his murals.
"For quite some time. I have kept more familiar company in the Fade for many years. Why?" Solas questions wary.
"Then it must have been some time for you," Zevran proposes.
"Some time since what?" Solas furrows his brow.
"Since you last had a lover," Zevran smirks.
"What?" Solas blinks, coughing out of shock.
"Assuming you've had lovers, of course," Zevran comments.
"That's… That is not important right now. We have far greater concerns at hand," Solas reminds him sternly.
Seems important for you, even though it happened in the past and we have ended it…but very true. Only it helps in times of trouble to seek… release, does it not? You must be grateful for Fennic," Zevran smirks coyly at the scowling Solas.
"I prefer to focus on our current goals and Fen and my personal life have nothing to do with you," Sharply, Solas scowls, his tone defensive as he glares at the back of the smirking Zevran.
"Well I'm just saying I could offer you some lessons," Sultry, Zevran lowers himself onto the date, a glint of mischief in his eyes disgusting Solas.
"Lessons?" Solas snaps, his tone barely containing control showing fury as his brow twitches, feeling his fingertips stab into the arm of his chair.
"Yes to satisfy her Fennic is quite the-"
"I think I know how to please my lover besides I am not the lover she had to fake her…enjoyment of the activity numerous times…" Snidely, Solas cuts off the assassin raising a brow briefly looking down to see a familiar sleeping Fennic Fox, snoozing beneath his desk.
"P-Pardon...?" Shocked, Zevran whispers, his tone vulnerable.
"Now if you will excuse me I have much more important matters to attend to…if you shall excuse me," Swiftly, Solas leaves smirking smugly as he leaves the flabbergasted Zevran, blinking over the reveal of Fen's dirty little secret.
Peacefully, I enjoy the still silence of the Hinterlands, hunting for various creatures from rams to bears and even nugs, just the two of us and for once I appreciate the silence, it's relaxing, calming, sooth-
"Eek!" Loudly, the sloshy splash of water stains that much needed silence as my brow furrows watching the ram I had aimed at flee into the distance. Disappointed, I lower my head, releasing a tired sigh trying to get my breathing under control as I turn my unimpressed gaze to the shivering Eve, holding herself, hugging her quivering body, smiling weakly at my poker faced state as I simply ignore her, hearing the faint crisp hiss and fizz of the crackling flames, heating and drying her drenched state as we continue hunting through the lush hinterland forest.
Slowly, my eyes close trying to enjoy the brief peacefulness, hearing the faint bristle of leafs and note a few beautiful flowers with various shades and shapes flowing through the warm breeze, my eyes narrow when spotting another ram eating happily by its lonesome as I calmly and stealthily kneel down. Quickly, I turn to Eveline copying my movements though I notice her wobbly and sway a bit, her balance not on par to my own as I hurriedly adjust her, giving her a brief nod which she nods back and comes over as I turn back to my target.
Deep breathes, steady, I tell myself, pulling the string back, arrow loaded as I aim and…fire! Smirking, the ram collapses to the ground, crying out in pain as quickly, I rush over to the pained creature, Eve following behind me…turning away briefly conflicted as I remove the arrow, releasing it back to aim for the heart and succeed, noting the creature turn limp from moving as Eve sadly sighs.
"Still…you're still emotional over this?" I grumble.
"The ram had no idea…" Eve whines.
"Look it's the outside world; you need to take what you can get here. You can't be fussy no matter your station, if you don't like it then turn vegan or something. I don't care," I huff not wanting to deal with her emotional state as we continue on our way, strangely enough making our way into a cave to find…
"Bear!" Horrified, Eve screeches as we flee, my eyes narrowing when noting Eve trying to fire at the bear, only making it angrier and faster. Hastily, I grab Eve by her coat noting the bear drawing closer and closer as I manage to climb ourselves up on a tree and scowl at the bear as Eve's grip tightens on me, firing fire spell after fire spell, strangely enough only angering the bear more, my eyes narrow when it growls and more follow…of course.
"Argh!" Speedily, I turn to the pained cry of Eve, my eyes widening to find her on the ground as I approach.
"My ankle I can't!" She hisses.
"Of bloody course," Easily I pick up the light frightened girl, firing spell after spell at the bears, slowing them down enough for me to gain some distance from them.
"It won't go away!" She cries fearful as I take out the ram meat.
"What are you doing?" She frowns as I ignore her and chuck the meat far from us. Sniffing the bear ditches us, wandering over to the meat as rapidly; I pick up the puzzled mage, leaping from one branch to another, ignoring her awed expression as we find ourselves far from the danger. Carefully, I let her down frowning at the dark night sky.
"We should camp, it's too late to go back to Skyhold," I mutter thinking of the danger, even with us two. I don't like the odds especially with one mage who can barely walk; it'll only get worse if we head home now.
"We should camp then right?" Smiling, Eve stands steadying herself against the tree as I frown at the girl.
"Where are we going to camp?" She questions as I simply point up at the trees.
"We can do that?" She frowns as I nod.
"Those will be our beds, that way in case the bears find us again we have the higher ground. We should eat…" I mutter.
"But what? The ram is gone," She furrows her brow only for my ears to perk up at the sound of…a squeal. Blinking, I stare at the suddenly stiff Eve nervously smiling at me as my eyes narrow and notice her moving bag. "No!" She cries but it's too late as I snatch her pouch revealing…a nug eating away at our food supplies.
"I thought Schmooples may want a friend," Eve pouts.
"A wild nug…" I grumble.
"Why not?" Eve shrugs.
"Festis bei umo canavarum," Lowly, I curse shaking my head.
"What does that mean? It's Tevine right Dorian said it before but I never got to ask," Eve enquires.
"You'll be the death of me…" I translate.
"It's strange…you know finding an elf who knows Tevine but not elf…" Eve whispers.
"Is it? There are minorities called slaves…" Bluntly, I deadpan.
"Y-yeah how are you feeling about that?" She questions as I gather wood from the tree branches, calmly placing them on the ground.
"Fine," I shrug casually as she jolts up, making me frown as she wobbles slightly.
"This I can do," Confidently, she smiles, offering her hand out as she releases a sudden huge flame engulfing the wood, startling me as I blink as the flames fade leaving nothing but cinder, ash and debris behind, having engulfed them, making me sigh.
"…Oops?" Innocently, she smiles shrugging as I simply pinch the bridge of my nose and release another heavy sigh, trying to hold in the urge to knock her out for the peace and quiet, I deserve.
"I really can't do anything…" Eve mopes as I bring out some flint, managing to make my own fire, a new fire quickly.
"Yeah. You really can't," Dryly, I confirm, taking out my wooden flask, a spare one just in case we found ourselves in some nippy weather like in that empress when he had to help with the refugees and stuff, Eve still needs to judge the horde of all the resources for the refugee, plus side we found out Cole was a virgin, thanks to that demon guy, something we didn't need to know but still.
Bitterly, I frown remembering Dorian muttering about the cold, reminding me of my brother and Varric often complaining, him even nicking my flask of wine to keep warm. I was bitter the entire time until Solas had to take me to the side, side hugging me to keep us both warm and to help me protect my flask, sharing it with Solas now and again and protecting Dorian, from me scratching his eyes out for stealing my flask.
Good times…
Frowning, Solas scowls as he exits his work place, deciding to head out for some fresh air only to falter in his steps, his grey hues widening to find the solution to his answer, the bookkeeper of how to train your Fen, Varric. Solas approaches the dwarf focusing on the paperwork as he sits on his desk until noting Solas.
"Well if it isn't Chuckles how are you?" Warmly, Varric greets him.
"I am doing well and you?" Solas takes a seat by his side, his ears perking up as he hears the faint frizzle, hiss and flicker of the flames, feeling their warm breathe teasingly touch his form.
"Eh you know writing some letters. You sure you're okay. I mean with Zevran here," Varric enquires.
"Are you?" Solas counters.
"I…Zevran and I have a complicated relationship," Sadly, Varric sighs.
"As do him and Fennic," Bitterly, Solas mutters.
"Ah so that's why you're here…look. There's…Fennic and Zevran their relationship was purely physical, nothing of the sort or so Fen and the rest of us thought. We had no idea Zevran saw more…" Varric clarifies.
"Did you approve of this?" Solas wonders.
"I couldn't say much, we knew each other but I didn't have the right to decide her life but I will say this. Zevran, he understood Fennic her struggles," Varric begins as Solas eyes narrow at his words.
"Both of them being slaves," Solas catches on.
"In a sense yes but although they understood each other and such, he, he wasn't a good influence on her," Guilty, Varric confesses.
"Go on," Solas encourages.
"He got her into drugs, saw her depressed state and wanted to help, she began smoking…" Varric sorrowfully begins.
"I see…" Solas whispers.
"Yeah it did help but then she became addicted and Zevran kept supplying her having no idea the effect it had on her. I knew what path she was going down and had to stop it I couldn't let her go down the same fate as my mother," Varric reveals surprising Solas.
"Your mother…?" Solas exclaims.
"Yeah she…after the exile she began drinking and smoking, even now she's a mess I didn't want Fen to ruin her life over it, so Hawke, Aveline and I intervened with Fenris. The three of us helping her with her addiction," Varric continues.
"But not alcohol?" Solas raises a brow.
"One step at a time Chuckles, one small step for cigarettes one giant leap for alcohol. I remember all of us, Aveline, Fenris, Hawke and I rushing into the mansion destroying all the cigarettes we could find. Aveline even used her pressure with the guard to keep an eye on Fennic and made sure the blooming rose couldn't give her a place or make sure her and Zevran didn't meet. Though that didn't stop them seemed like it only made thing worse when Fennic came back to find it all gone. She went mental, screaming, and shouting. We had to hold her down as she screamed and broke down; it broke our hearts seeing someone so sad, so strong, so lost, broken, and defeated without it. She said it helped her with the voices, the nightmares, the burning marks…" Varric explains, his tone sombre and sad.
"I didn't," Solas begins regretful.
"Fen isn't proud of it. Isabela was lenient, she didn't mind it, it was her life but I think that made Fen genuinely stop seeing both Zevran and the drugs was Daisy," Varric exclaims.
"Daisy?" Solas blinks puzzled by the name.
"A young friend of ours, wide eyed and naive but a good kid, she means well. Fen saw her as a little sister, one time when Fen was smoking, Merrill came in and I don't know who or how but she wanted to try it out and…" Varric tells Solas.
"And?" Solas leans in.
"It wasn't good, it was a bad trip for the poor girl, see Fen saw it she saw Merrill scream and rushed over to her side. She saw the damage it could do to someone, someone close to her and that's when she knew she had to stop…" Varric sighs sadly, head down.
"I never knew…" Solas mutters.
"I don't think Fen ever forgave herself for scaring Merrill like that, I still think she feels guilt for it but without that moment happening. I don't think Fen would have given up…" Varric confesses.
"Varric thank you for telling me this…" Solas thanks him.
"Anytime I know Fen isn't the easiest person to handle, I'm surprised you can deal with her in a relationship," Varric compliments.
"Right now I don't even know," Solas exhales.
"Chuckles. Listen to me, this, you are the first person; Fen has ever been serious and genuine about. She has had her fair share of partners I can't deny that, but none of them was serious. I've never seen her as this serious with anyone but you, the idea of it would scare her off but you she didn't. you're something else Chuckles," Varric praises him.
"Then why doesn't she speak to me? Why hide things from me?" Solas demands, fed up.
"Fen doesn't think of it as secrets if you ask her she'll tell you," Varric confirms.
"No she won't," Solas denies.
"Have you asked her?" Varric questions.
"I…she's always been defensive," Solas turns away.
"Yeah well thanks to the fade shit, it's all out in the open so you can ask her now," Varric reasons.
"I just…I'm scared of him hurting her Varric she's been through so much how do I know?" Solas argues.
"You will be fine. You've been the best influence on Fennic since Hawke on Fenris," Varric assures him as Solas bows his head, releasing a tired breathe.
"So you hate Zevran?" Solas frowns, changing topics.
"Hate's a strong word, he means well, he genuinely cared for Fen but Fen never did. I think he knows that," Varric smiles sadly.
"He better," Solas growls lowly, malice evident in his tone.
"Jealous Chuckles…?" Teasingly, Varric smirks.
"I'm going back to work," Sighing, Solas stands.
"You're not denying it!"