Shattered heart chapter 3

A loud buzzing sound broke the early morning silence, only to be followed by a heavy and annoyed grunt. James raised his messey bedhead and let his vision clear before slapping his annoyed hand down on the alarm clock that sat on his wooden bedside table.

He yawned as his mind slowly adjusted into reality. He rolled onto his back and blinked up at the ceiling. He hadn't been looking forward to this day. If he'd of had his own way, he would have just slept through it, but alas, he had responsibiltys to uphold. Duties that needed doing. He cringed and winced his eyes shut tight.

"Oooh, I don't want to get up" he whined softily. This kind of whining would have won him an early morning smack back in the old days, somthing which he surprisidly had missed. It wasn't so easy to pry yourself from a warm and cosy bed, when you didn't have the fear of a good smack round the head to get you up. He reopened his eyes and pushed himself onto his elbows, glancing out of the window and wondering what kind of day it was...he groaned again when his eyes met the rain that was pouring from the grey sky outside his window.

"Hey, are you gettin up taday or not?" A familular voice called from behind James' bedroom door. James sighed loudly.

"Yes...But I'm not happy about it" he grumbled miserably as he pushed himself over the side of his bed and stood to his feet. He staggered across his room and into his bathroom. Taking care of his morning rountine quickly, he emerged only a few minutes later wearing his fashionable jeans and black t-shirt. As he ran a comb through his hair and walked back into his bedroom, he saw her sitting on the end of his bed. He paused and just stared for a moment as she sat pulling on her leather boots. "...Jess" he whispered. She looked up at him, slightly annoyed he had interupted her morning routine.

"C'mon James your going to be late!" she scolded, but her slight frown changed into a smile. He smiled back and continued combing his hair.

"Do I look ok?" he asked as he walked past her to view himself in his mirror. When he recieved no anwser he turned around, but she was gone. He took a deep breath and realised he had been doing it again...talking to himself as if he had been talking to her. Seeing her and thinking about her. He shook his head and silently scorned himself for thinkning about her. "...Of all days..." he mumbled, setting the comb on his bedside table he mentally prepared himself to face the World again.

Meowth had been listening through the door to the conversation his friend had been having with himself again. With a heavy heart he sighed. James was a great guy, deep down, he was decent and anyone who spoke to him would never in a million years guess he had ever been associated with such an organisation as Team Rocket...but it seemed his friend's mentality had been going down hill the past year or two. He had begun talking to himself, seeing things and having nightmares. Meowth was the only one who knew who James believed himself to be talking to. Noone else knew anything about her. James refused to talk about her, even when Meowth had been the one to start the topic, he would quickly change it or simply ignore it.

James appeared into the living area, he didn't speak of his encouter, but instead hummed a tune. Meowth listened to the familular tune of the team rocket motto being hummed through James' lips. He wondered if James realised what he was humming, but did not air his questions.

"Hey, I made cereal fer you. It's on the counter" the cat pokemon said as he flicked through the channels on the small TV screen, every now and then he would take a pawful of popcron from a big blue bowl that sat on the couch arm.

"Ok thanks" James said briefly as he walked into the kitchin. Meowth stood up and followed him.

"James, you gotta talk about it somtime you know" he said softily as he sat on one of two seats that accompanied a small table. James ignored him and kept eating his cereal. Meowth frowned. "James, I'm talking to youse." he said irritated. James continued to ignore him and instead kept his focus on filling his face. Meowth felt himself becoming more and more angry with his blue haired companion. It didn't take long for him to finish bowl of cereal and Meowth knew he was trying to avoid him.

"Thanks for the cereal Meowth. But I'm going to be late" he said as he rose from his seat avoiding all eye contact and took the bowl to the sink. He then proceeded to exit the room as quickly as he could. Grabbing his blue jacket from the back of the couch and picking up the keys that sat on the coffee table he headed to the door. "See you later Meowth" he called.

Meowth darted across the room and blocked his exit.

"Jimmy, I know this is hard fer youse to deal with, but you can't keep pretending it never happened!" he said sternly. James' eyes began to fill with emotion and Meowth knew that deep inside, it was killing him. One of the only times James had ever talked about thier experience with leaving Jesse, was a few days after they had escaped. He had been quilt stricken and a real emotional mess. Meowth had asked him if he wished to return home, but he had refused. And looking into his deep emerald eyes, Meowth thought he could almost still see the quilt and the pain surfacing in his eyes.

"Meowth, I'm going to be late." he said simply as he slipped his jacket on. His voice sounded firm, but not angry. Almost, remorseful... "And I don't care about what today is. I don't care about her. I don't care about anything except getting to work on time right now, so just let me past" the breaking and crackle in his voice told Meowth he was lying, but the scratch cat stepped away and let him leave.

James pushed his hands into his pockets and stepped into the cold rain. Sobs caught the back of his throat and he tried forcefully to push them back down. Looking up at the sky for a second before he started his journey to work, he caught himself wondering how his ex partner was. She had meant so much to him...she had been his everything, yet she had treated him so bad. He hated the way she had belittled and mocked him, though he realised it was only through her own insecurities that she was the way she was. He understood so many things about her that noone else had, and stuck with her through all her violence. He had been her scapegoat and her emotional punch bag, yet he still couldn't shake the old feelings of wishing just for one time, that she would have just cried on his shoulder. To let him hold her and to drop the guard and just cry.

He kicked a stone as he walked through the park. A cold breeze made him shiver. The park was pretty much empty, but then again it was early morning. The occasional person walking their Poochyena or Zigazigoon was all that passed him.

"It's such a bitter day..." he sighed as he found himself whining to himself again.

"Oh stop complaining and just bare it" her voice surrounded him again. He stopped and turned around. She sped up her walking pace to catch up with him then they walked side by side. She put up her red hood and gave him a smirk. He returned her smirk and slowed his pace so not to make her out of breath. The smell of her perfume fumigated him and even the warmth of her closeness felt all too real. He blinked sadly and looked at her. Everytime he thought she was there she would dissapear. He didn't want her to go...

"Jesse" he spoke quietly.

"What?" even her abruptness was all too real.

"Why do you keep going away?" he asked as he felt warm tears begin to form in the corner of his eyes. She gave a small laugh and looked up to the sky.

"I wasn't the one who went away" she said softily. He snapped his gaze from the ground up to look at her, but again she was gone. The tears taht now blinded his vision slid slowly down his face, mixing with the rain. He wiped his eyes and carried on walking. Her last words echoed in his brain. He couldn't help but feel a sinking feeling in his heart that he had abbandoned his best friend. He had always promised he would never leave her. That he would stick by her through thick and thin...yet now he was not so sure...had he broken that promise? What if he had broken her heart? What if somthing bad had happened to her?

He stopped in his tracks. The exit to the park in his view, his mind refused to let his body do anything else but stand still in the cold rain...he looked up and closed his eyes. Letting the rain wash away his tears. Only three words could escape his lips...

"Jesse...I'm sorry"

Wow, I don't like this chapter atall...I may rewrite it. But hey, I updated so yay for me. Hopefully next chappie coming soon... Please review

Nikki-Vixen