Camelot returned to normal, or as normal as it would ever be. Morgana made continuous attempts for the throne, and Merlin continuously thwarted her. Everything seemed to be going well, my relationship with Arthur was still going strong, despite being somewhat secret. Gaius seemed pleased with my progress in studying to be a physician. I'd even become good friends with some of the girls working in the palace, particularly in the kitchen (it's always good to have friends who can sneak you food).
So, I suppose you could say I was as happier than I ever expected to be. That was until, everything began to unravel. And it all started with the arrival of a letter.
It had been a completely normal day. By that I mean I woken up at sunrise to the sounds of Merlin crashing around in the next room, and Gaius groaning in protest. I'd long since given up on trying to get back to sleep when I'd been awoken like this. Instead I crawled to the end of my bed and opened one of the many medical books Gaius had insisted I needed to read. All these books were huge and filled with information, that recently Gaius had taken to randomly testing me on. The only thing that stopped me from reading was my loudly grumbling stomach.
My brother and I are alike in many ways, but the only one our mother ever paid attention to was our inability to function if we hadn't eaten. This thought rolled through my head as I half staggered down the few steps into the main chamber. Merlin had already eaten and left, but Gaius was sat at the table with some bread and apples laid out.
"Eat up, you'll need your energy today." Gaius informed me in his usual somewhat stern but kind manner.
"Why? What's so special about today?" I asked curiously, whilst simultaneously shoving bread into my mouth. Not very 'ladylike' I know, but who cares I was hungry.
"You're on your own today. The training ropes are off." Gaius smiled, he seemed very confident. Me on the other hand, not so much. "You will need to attend to the King first thing and last thing as usual. Between those times you'll have to attend to yet another of Gwaine's training injuries. Pay a visit to the butchers wife, who has fallen ill whilst pregnant. Deliver potions to several people in the lower town. I believe a few other townspeople have asked for the attention of the physician, the list is on the table with the potions."
"And you really think I could manage all this?" I asked nervously.
"My dear, you're are going to have to. Arthur has requested my counsel today. And these things usually take time. Arthur is a good King, but he isn't always the best listener."
Gaius left shortly after. I got to work straight away, organising my bag for the day before leaving for the King's chambers. When I got there the King sat alone by the window, in front of his untouched breakfast. The food still looked warm and the bed was made; so Gwen must have only recently left.
"Sire, you need to eat. Or you will never regain your strength." My words were spoken softly but even if I'd shouted they would have fallen on deaf ears.
The King made no attempt to acknowledge me, continuing to stare aimlessly out the window. The man was lost. So lost. Lost in a depression so deep, it seemed unlikely to all that saw him, that he would ever return to the strong and revered king that he used to be.
I set to work, checking his medical condition. And found no physical issues, despite a small amount of inevitable weight loss. I was finished before I knew it and already rushing off to the next task on Gaius' list.
The day passed quickly, with no opportunity for a break. Not that I minded. At last I was spending my days the way I wanted, I was free. Or so I thought.
It was dark when I left the kings chambers that evening. And by the time I got back both Merlin and Gaius had already fallen asleep. Although they had left a plate of food on the table. I warily carried it to my room, with the intention of eating quickly then sleeping for as long as possible. My plans changed when I saw the letter on my bed.
Lilia
I would know the handwriting anywhere. It was my mothers.
My dearest Lilia,
I hope that you are well. It is with great joy that I write to you now. I know from Merlin's letters that you have been working hard with Gaius. But you always knew, that that would be a temporary situation.
I met a couple a short while ago, in a town not far from our village. Their son is a blacksmith and is looking for a wife. His name is Fredrik. When I met him, he was so lovely, and kind. He would make a lovely husband. I told him about you and he's so eager to meet you. His family is nice, and he earns good money. They live in a nice house in the town, I think you'd like it.
I should like you to return home, as soon as possible. We will then journey together to the town so that you can meet him.
I will see you soon, my darling.
Love,
Mother
My heart was in my mouth as I read the letter. She was right I had always known that being in Camelot wouldn't be forever. But after Will's death, I thought it would have taken her a good few years to find me a new husband. This just seemed so fast.
Silent tears streaked down my face. I loved Arthur but I also knew we would never truly be together. After all, he is royalty and I am not, I am the daughter of a farmer and a sorcerer. It would never work out. In the real world by best chance for a good life would probably be to marry Fredrik, a perfect stranger. So, I packed my bag, and fell into a broken sleep.
I awoke early the next morning, it was barely even light outside. I knew I had no choice but to leave, but I also knew that I needed to see Arthur before I did. I owed it to both him and myself, to at least say goodbye.
I crept out of my room and passed Gaius and Merlin, wincing at every squeak of the old floor boards. I slipped into the corridor and then out into the cool crisp air of the courtyard. Thankfully the guards paid no notice of me, and I used the servants entrance to get into Arthur's room undetected. (I realise that sounds insanely creepy, but it was a secret relationship after all). My footsteps sounded like drums against the cold stone slabs of his bedroom floor. Though they didn't wake him, I'd half hoped they would.
Standing beside his bed, I gently shook him, "Arthur." I whispered, not wanting to be too loud and startle him. I already knew that he could wield a sword whilst half asleep, Merlin had told me.
He murmured a little, but didn't wake. So I shook him again as I whispered his name, slightly louder this time.
His eyes opened drearily, "Lilia? What are you doing in here?" He groaned, pulling himself into a sitting position.
"I needed to say goodbye." I explained, as I started to wish I hadn't come.
"Goodbye?" He asked, now slightly more alert.
I nodded and pulled out the letter from my mother, which had been folded over the small belt round my waist. Arthur read the note slowly and with a frown. He like me, had always known that I wouldn't be here forever. But I suppose that fact had slipped his mind over the past few months.
"You're leaving now?" He asked, looking at me with big sad eyes.
"It seems as good a time as any." I smiled weakly.
He nodded, "So this is goodbye?"
"This is goodbye." I choked out.
"I hate goodbyes." He said with a slightly wobbly voice, as he stood and pulled me into a tight embrace.
"Me too." I whispered into his shoulder.
"Will I see you again?" His voice sounded strained, and I was glad I couldn't see his face. I think the look on it would have turned me into a blubbering mess.
"I don't think so." I said, trying hard not to cry.
He pulled back slightly and lifted my head, just enough for his lips to meet mine. We had shared so many kisses over the few months we had spent together, those had been full of joy and happiness. This one, however, was full of sorrow. Our last kiss.
I stepped back slowly, "I love you. Goodbye, Arthur." I whispered, as I turned to leave.
"I love you too, Lilia. Goodbye." His voice sounded from behind me as I disappeared through the door, for the last time.
I made my way back to the physician's chambers quickly, and wrote notes to both Merlin and Gaius. I couldn't bare another painful goodbye. And then, I left. I walked silently down the empty corridors, passed the sleepy guards, and out into the cool air of the morning.
It took mere minutes to leave the city. It was so early that the streets were deserted. When I reached the edge of the forest I turned to look back at the castle that had so quickly become my home, "Goodbye." I whispered sadly. Before I turned my back and walked away.
My mind wandered throughout my journey home. I thought about my friends and how I hadn't said goodbye to them, my heart filled with guilt and sadness. Time to move on, I thought trying to pull myself together.
The journey took little over a day, it was exhausting, but the smile on mother's face when she saw me made up for it.
"Lilia." She cried happily, running towards me.
"Hello mother." I smiled.
She dragged me gleefully into the house that had been home for so long, and yet now it felt empty and false. But I didn't let that show, I hid my pain and listened to my mother. It had been a while since I last saw her, so we had a lot to catch up on. And of course we did, right up until we fell asleep. The next day we woke early to complete the journey to the town. I took us half a day but we finally arrived.
Mother led me through the winding streets and passages until we reached their house. It was a modest size and made of wood. But it had two stories, as did many of the homes. Just one of the many ways this place differed from Camelot.
When we knocked, a woman a few years older than my mother answered.
"Hunith." She smiled at my mother, "And this must be Lilia. Welcome both of you, do come in."
The woman ushered us into the house and over to some seats positioned in front of the fire.
"Lilia, this is Rhea. Fredrick's mother." My mother informed me smiling.
"It's nice to meet you Rhea." I said as kindly and politely as I could manage.
"You too my dear. Now, both Fredrik and his father, Dryden, are still at work. So, it's just us women until they return."
"Oh, how lovely." Hunith smiled at Rhea. Whilst I nodded in agreement.
The time passed quickly, I didn't speak much, rather I let mother do the talking. It wasn't long before Fredrik and Dryden had returned to the house.
Dryden was an old man, and it showed. His hair was white and his face was covered with wrinkles. Although he had warm brown eyes, and his manner was very welcoming.
Fredrik, on the other hand, was around the same age as Merlin; perhaps a few years older. He had mousy brown hair, smooth pale skin, and the same brown eyes as his father. He had a strong build, but was only of average height. He seemed nice enough.
The evening passed with much talk of marriage, despite the fact that I'd barely spoken a word to Fredrik. Though, my mother was happy, so that was good. At one point Fredrik and I were told to go for a walk together whilst our parents discussed our engagement.
We walked for a few minutes in silence before I decided we couldn't spend the whole walk in silence. We were going to be married after all.
"So, you're a blacksmith?" I asked smiling, pretending I didn't already know.
"Yes." He said simply.
"Do you enjoy it?" I asked, in an attempt to start some sort of a conversation.
"Yes." He answered yet again.
"Is it a family trade?" I asked.
"Yes."
"So, you're a man of few words. Got it." I said jokingly.
"It's hard to have a conversation when the topic is so boring." He muttered looking straight ahead of him.
"Fine, you choose something to talk about." I said trying not to get defensive.
"Have you laid with another man?" He asked staring at me.
I stopped, taken aback by his forwardness. "What? No. Of course not." I could hear the shock of the question in my own voice. "Why would you ask such a question?"
"Because I know you've been engaged before."
"Yes, engaged. Not married."
"Ok then." He said and we continued walking.
"Have you? Been engaged, I mean." I asked, I did also want to know if he'd slept with any other women before but I didn't feel comfortable asking that.
"Twice, my father called off the first when her dowry decreased. And the second my mother called off because she didn't like her." He explained.
"Third time lucky then." I smiled.
"I suppose so."
"Should we head back now, it's getting dark."
"Yes, before your mother starts to worry."
We walked back in relative silence, which was only broken when Fredrik pointed out the forgery where he worked. When we arrived back my mother had already gone to bed, so I made my excuses and went to bed also.
The next morning, mother told me that I would be staying here. The wedding would take place in a few weeks. But in the meantime she'd return to Ealdor.
The days faded into weeks, which passed in a blur until one day Fredrik came home excited, Dryden followed behind him beaming.
I missed the first part of the conversation because I was busy cooking dinner, but I came into the room just in time to hear Fredrik saying, "I've been given the position of running the royal forges in Camelot! I received word today. We leave in two days."
There was a loud commotion as Fredriks parents celebrated loudly. I on the other hand, remained rooted to the spot. Frozen in shock. This would mean I get to go home. I'd get to go back to Camelot.
And there's the end of the chapter, I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for reading.
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