My Cat Types: God, just because I'm sitting in her lap she makes me do theese dumb things. Well anyway the characters are not her and the idea is semi-her. But anyway she wants this published so I'd better sto-

writer16-i'm sorry if you do not like it, but I am having a blast!

Oh, and the orignal story was cancled sorry!

So, now part two of alternitive Smallville: THE QUEST -ominus thunder here-

The story opened and behold, someone besides the local hero decked in flanal.

He was a tall dark stranger. He was new in town, but news travels fast in Smallville. He was on a quest and one by one, resident by resident, he would find what he needed. His name was of no relevance he preferred to be called Cow.

The first place he went was the Beanery; it was closed almost instantly though when the manger walked out muttering, "Okay I'm gonna go take a break at the Talon!"

Cow shrugged and went to the Talon instead. There he overhead many conversations on the way to the counter.

For one, some dude named Whitney was muttering, "I hate football. I am so gonna be an All-Star Baseball dude!"

Sighing, Cow shook his head. Apparently a talking dog (Krypto he later learned) was eating some crispy fries, and muttering, "I love an extra order of extra large crispy fries! (Munch, munch)"

Finally he reached the counter. Ahead of him though was Jason, he was talking to Lana saying, "Lana I hate your guts, but it is soooo much fun screwing with your brain."

Jor-El then popped up besides Jason and said wishfully, "I miss frenching Lana…"

Lana escorted both men out then turned to Cow and said, "Welcome to McDonalds, how may I help you? An extra large order of crispy fries?"

"No thank you, but could lift up your pant leg? I need to see if you have—" A dog barked and so only Lana heard what he said. She readily complied; disappointed Cow bought some java and left the building.

He next headed towards the Torch. When he waked in Chloe was starring at the 'Wall of Weird,' and yelling, "Guess what suckers? I AM a METOR FREAK!" Then sounds her maniacal laughter filled the room.

Cow coughed and she turned around.

Meanwhile Lex was having a conversation with Louis from the island. Louis was saying, "I'm just like Barney, and the Tellitubbies. A complete figment of your imagination that you want to bash up into a million pieces."

Lex grabbed something and bashed him over the head with it. Of, course he was actually hitting his dad. In protest Lionel yelled, "Me corrupt innocent people? NEVER! I BRAKE FOR METOR-FREAKS!" Lex stopped, and somewhere some how a root-beer drink crashed to the floor.

Purple Fire Maniac Chihuahuas.

Back to Cow, he was approaching the Kent farm, disappointed Chloe had not had it.

On the way he passed Pete who was whining to his mom in the car, "Ew! Slow down mom! You're driving to fast! I hate fast cars!"

Finally after many moments of dreading the insanity to come Cow drove up to the Kent farm. In the yard Clark was angry and yelling, "Darnit! I flunked the math test again! Now I'll have to repeat kindergarten for the seventh time!"

Cow was about to ask were his parents were when Jonathan stumbled up with a wine glass and saying, "I sho' iz drunk an' dizzy!"

Maratha ran up to him and scolded him saying, "Did you get drunk at Lex's place again?"

Jonathan thought back to that afternoon at the mansion. While they had been drinking a drunk Lex had said, "Let's not play pool today. Maybe go fish?"

Jonathan snapped out of the flashback and said to his wife, "Nope, haven't been drunk at the Luthors' again, nope.

As if this was not insane enough a young Girl Scott came up and asked for a cookie. When it was inquired how her 'kind' sold so much she said, "Of course the meteors mutated us! How else do we sell so many cookies!"

"Riiiiiight. Well since you are all hear I need to see if anyone has " He was cut off as a mushroom did the Macarena, and so the reader never heard what was said.

As he left Lois came out and yelled, "Here Clark, why don't you use the shower first today?"

Meanwhile in another corner of the universe I held a secret meeting. "We bomb Lana at dawn!" I cried.

Just about everyone else in the WORLD agreed.

And in New York, Dr. Swan was some what 'bruised' after his 'encounter' with the 'young hot blonde.' So he got up out of his wheel chair and got himself a cup of coffee then sat back down. Then turned toward the reader and said, "I'm just a poor pathetic invalid." Secretly out of hear shot he whispered, "Who's secretly manipulating you all!"

Meanwhile, at the mansion Britney Spears had just walked in. She sang, "Hello Lex, I need cold hard cash, and you are perfect to seduce. I mean, uh, I love you! Let's get married!"

Lex, to preoccupied with being gay and Clark, did not care and shooed her out.

Cow then walked in and said, "All sources tell me you are it tell me about yourself!"

Lex looked up from the fireplace were he was slowly burning Scotch bottles and said, "I'm cold hard, play mind games, and conceal my true emotions. Plus I have father issues. I must be just like SPOCK!"

Cow looked over the slowly melting Lex Luthor and calmly said, "So, do you have purple socks?"

The steaming Lex replied, "DUH! THEY SOOOOOO MATCH MY OUTFIT!"

He flashed a cheesy grin and offered Cow a drink of 7up. Cow declined, took the socks, and left. His quest was complete, now he could run bare nude in the banana trees!

Anyway as soon as he left party stuff appeared all over the mansion. The alternative Smallville had another wild party.

Aww, this was really an awesome week.

SHOULD THIS END?