Standard Disclaimers Apply
When she first thought that she loved him, they were thirteen. She was more in love with love than with him, but she simply liked the feeling and kept it near her heart and never far from her mind.
He was everything she could hope for as a child, everything she admired. It was hard not to love him, tactless and inconsiderate though he was.
Tenten knew Neji would not appreciate having a fangirl on his team, so she hid her feelings a little. Just a little. She still admired him so much, to the point of being plain mean to Lee.
But the next time she thought about it again, they were sixteen, and Lee was the closest thing to a best friend she had. She supposed the three of them together were more or less best friends, but Neji wasn't as open as Lee was.
So a stable friendship developed between Lee and Tenten, while a slowly becoming unstable relationship developed between Neji and Tenten.
It had taken her several dates with other boys before it hit her and hit her hard. So hard that she paused to think.
At sixteen, she sort of wondered if he knew she loved him. But then she shook her head. What do I know about love? They say you'll know. Well, I don't know. This can't be love. I can't be in love.
And he can't ever love me back. Never.
She buried it in her heart for a while. She went on, or at least tried to.
And then, two and a half years later, she thought about it again, wildly, passionately, as he was brought in and attended to by three med nin not including the head, Sakura.
I love him, she realized. I love him. I love him. I love him.
And she wanted to cry.
Today she hears from Lee that he is better. He'll be able to make a full recovery, Lee says, so stop worrying.
I'm not worrying, she says coolly. Inside her heart breaks. The three of them managed to stay relatively close even in separate ANBU teams. But now she doesn't know if she can look at him without pain again. She doesn't know if she can take it any longer.
She doesn't see Neji for six weeks before he comes after her himself, frowning at first but being polite, as is she.
Inside, the pang of her heart was killing her.
See you around, she says, as coldly as she can. His pearly eyes widen very slightly. It is then he can see that she didn't visit him during his two weeks at the hospital because she didn't want to. She didn't check on him because she was avoiding him.
Why?
It was the only thing he could ask. He looks apathetic, and this makes her tremble.
What would I give, she wonders, to see a lost expression on his face, mixed with hurt and maybe anger?
Then maybe it would mean he could have some feelings for me, however shallow.
She faces him with a smile she hopes doesn't look too forced. What are you talking about?
He grabs her arm and his voice borders on a little harsh.
Do you think you can lie to me?
All of a sudden, she is an angry, fiery kunoichi. Her true self.
No, she says, and her glare meets his. That's why I can't see you any more.
He releases her, expressionless.
She turns and walks away, wishing, wishing, wishing with all her heart that she would just fall out of love.
This was a request. I was given free reign on genre and such, as long as it involved Neji and it had the theme of Difficult Truths. I dunno if I pulled it off…