At last fate was fulfilled, if you believed in that sort of thing. With a black gloved hand he dipped his right hand into the blue jar. Retrieving what he needed; he creped out.

Evil by choice or celestial power mattered not at the moment; the point was that he was now slinking out of the darkened room. Normally a clean sort of white room, in the dark only the moon gave glow, an eerie sort of light, the type he avoided inching out. The thief looked back regretfully, and tripped setting off one alarm in the process. The dark figure ran from shadows, fate, destiny, but most importantly the cops.

"Dangit," the thief swore, "I ripped my shirt back there!"

--------

The next day Lex woke up with a hangover on his couch in his office. Clark was standing over him, staring curiously. Dazed he murmured, "I hate you Clark."

"I hate you Lex."

Lex sat up, shirtless but with itchy fleece pants on. He scratched his head idly looking around the mansion. "Okay can we kiss now?"

Clark was slightly antsy, shifting his weight from foot to foot. "Lex!"

"Whaaaat?" Lex stood up completely this time and went to pour himself a drink.

"I really meant it that time." Clark's sullen voice said

"Again? Really, really, really, really?"

Sighing, Clark nodded.

Pouting, Lex threw his glass of scotch into the fire, turned to face Clark, and punched him. Clark winked obviously at no one in particular (alias the audience) and screamed "Oh Lex! How could you?" He then ran out crying.

Lex was about to wonder why the writers had him and Clark act so (what was the word? gay, mean, angry, angst, lovers) …strange to each other. However, the cops walked in. The new sheriff took a menacing stance,folded his arms across his chest, and said, "Mr. Luthor."

Lex looked at the digital clock on his desk. It was noon; high noon. "Sheriff," he said in a low voice. "Call me Lex."

"Lex…" There was pause, "do you have any information on theft of a cookie from …the Talon's cookie jar?"

The sheriff relaxed his position. Lex looked down, thinking, he then looked up and over at his fire place, avoiding eye contact. "…no."

"Then why are there cookie crumbs on you chest?"

"Aren't you here to shoot me like everyone else?" Lex stalled.

"No. But it's tempting." The sheriff shrugged, "Well, okay, I'll go now…if you're sure."

Lex nodded vigorously with his head, while walking over to his couch. Probably there would be a shirt lodged in the crack of the couch cushions. "Positive."

As the sheriff walked out, she paused in his doorway. "Well, alright, then I shall go and arrest Lana Lang."

Lex looked up, now holding a pair of boxers. "I don't wear boxers…what? Oh." Now paying attention he asked, "Why?"

"Because then Clark wouldn't have a good reason to solve this case. And unless he becomes some kind of law enforcmentI can't order him to help." The sheriff sighed at the lame joke she had just made. Lex thought about Clark…were these his boxers? They were flannel. "Yeah uh-huh, are you done?" Lex was walking away with the offending piece of clothing before the sheriff could answer; he wasn't really paying attention to her anyway. No one arrested him in this town.

He mumbled, "I need to think…"

The sheriff threw her hands up and walked away mumbling, "Why didn't I shoot him? Everyone else does…Aw heck, I need a new job, it's not like I do anything around here."

-----

"Ka-El."

Clark looked up from were he was sitting to look at the man-no, wall that had interrupted his thoughts. "Ka-El I can help."

Clark got up from the dirt, and rolled his eyes. "Yeah right. Generally you mess up my life.Sure I mess it up, but mostly you mess it up too."

"Look I'm a giant computer taking my orders way to seriously cut me some slack Jack! Now do you want to help Lana?" The wall shuddered.

Clark looked away from the picture of Naman and Sagethe. "Why can't my name just be Clark? (sigh)…yes, I do."

"Good. Put the key in the slot."

Clark's jaw dropped. "I don't succumb to peer pressure!"

"Dude, when did your vocabulary go up?"

"When my shirt level went down!" Clark said quickly without thinking.

"That doesn't even make sense. Just do it already."

"Na-ah!" Clark said placing both hands on his hips.

"You'd do it if Lana said so." The cave said without hesitation.

"…yes, yes I would…BUT THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUISNESS!"

If a cave could roll its eyes it would. "Oh come on! I saw what you two were doing last night!"

Clark kicked the wall. "Not …cool! It was a harmless game of chess!"

"And boy did that rook go straight! Did the queen scream when she was captured? I'm sure the king won!"

Angry, Clark tried to punch the cave. In the process he jammed the key in the slot (the cave shuddered, "oh my, ka-el that tickles!"). A glowing pair of glasses appeared in his hands. Panting he looked up, pronouncing each syllable, "WHYNOTCONTACTLENSES?"

"Destiny. And forty year old men who live with their mothers-alias the writers, they call this dramatic."

"Oh…shut…up. If you're so smart why can't you just tell me who did it?"

"I thought you did it. Besides, what's the fun in that?"

Carefully aiming his laser vision, Clark easily burned a part of the cave. "What does it do anyway?" he asked forcefully.

"Oh like I want to tell you now." There was a cough, and a sound like someone clearing their throat then the voice continued, "U s e i t w e l l m y s o n…"

"I thought you were a computer."

"But your father made me with his mind. Deal with it. Go away!"

Clark put the glasses on and started to walk away. Just as he was muttering "Stupid cave, stupid destiny, stupid glasses," a beam from the wall hit him in the rear.

He ran out crying. The voice behind him was mumbling, "kids these days…"

-----

"Love the glasses Clark. Really. But why are you starring at my chest? I mean more so than you usually do…"

Clark continued to stare at Lana. He could see inside of her! Well, he could see her deepest personality. It was as if he was starring into a deep cavern that had been decorated by that person. Inside Lana was all pink, and there was a slight drizzle of rain going around. More importantly, there was princess merchandise everywhere. Fairy princess stuff.

Clark's eyebrow rose quizzically. "Lana I want to help you. But…what can you tell me about last night?"

She sobbed into her petite hands. "Oh Clark-ums!" she wailed, "I was hanging out, when I pulled out the cookie jar and left it on a table! I wanted a cookie, but as I was about to steal one, a noise interrupted me, and I left, and, and oh Clarkie!"

Clark was wondering why he even bothered with her. Then a three letter word starting with's' popped up in his mind. "Lana, I'll solve this crime! I promise Lana-ums."

"Clark-ums, don't call me that. It sounds soooooo stupid."

"Lanies?"

"No."

Halfway through pronouncing the 'L,' Lana shook her head, and held up a hand, "no."

"Wait, Lana I have to go, and find out who did this."

She blinked, as her eyes welled with tears, "Oh. Fine." The guard escorted her back to her pillow lined cell. Out side the prison Clark stared at the glasses in his hands. These glasses would enable him to see inside a person. He could see who had the darkest soul, who would be so un-forgiving as to steal a cookie from a cookie jar.

However he had a feeling something evil might stop him. For safety, he went to see Lex. Opening the door, he saw Lex (now wearing a purple silk button up shirt) whispering to something cupped in his hand. Crumbs were on the floor under him. Chocolate lingered in the air- chocloate chips.

As incrementing as it might seem, Clark believed him innocent. When he looked into Lex's soul though…

One small baby cradle rocked in the corner, with a pink balloon tied to it. The baby was crying. The cavern it's self was lined with silver, and a fountain was in the center spewing purity. Around the edges though, blackness was creeping, very close, almost to contaminating the fountain. The fountain was Infact showing signs of poison. In short Lex was rotting on the inside.

" Clark?" The farm boy in flannel looked up shaking off what he had just seen. " Clark?"

"Lex, I cannot believe you…"Lex thoughts raced, could Clark see the stolen cookie in his hand? Clark continued, "…I cannot believe you DRANK ALL MY ROOT BEER!"

Inwardly Lex sighed. Clark stormed out, still distraught, holding a stolen pair of Lex's purple socks. He headed home, Leaving Lex alone.

Lex ate the cookie in condemning silence. "Fate's tasty," he said excitdly between mouthfuls.

-----

Sighing, Clark broke Lana out in the middle of the night when she would dismiss it as a dream. Later, Lana admitted that she thought she was being abducted by an alien. Clark told the sheriff it was an unsolvable crime. It remained that way. Lex held a bake sale the next day. No evidance has ever been found, making the cops unable to reopen the case... This concludes Smallvile-Files.

THE END (PERMENANTLY IS TO BE DEBATED?)

This was an idea i had about what was in lex's soul. i will re-write and re-publish it if i get a good review. AND DON'T FLAME ME- IF THIS PLOT HAS BEEN DONE BEFORE, I'VE NEVER HEARD OF IT. IT'S ABOUT THE WRITING, AND IMPROVING, SO BACK OFF!