Very hassled and bothered right now and simply cannot get into the proper mind set to write a nice romance chapter. Now if you wanted all the characters to die and the world to be plunged into fire and chaos... But that would ruin the story so far, wouldn't it?
Anyway, I have a great many projects for school going on with no immediate relief in sight. As such I decided to throw together a short little Omake Theater just to let you all know that I'm not dead and yes, I am going to finish this fic. I even know exactly how the ending is going to turn out and everything! Isn't that wonderful? As an added bonus, my profile now sports a link to a funny little video that's play on repeat as successfully prevented me from ripping out my hair and using it to play the world's smallest violin for my project teammates. It has also stopped me from finding a cat to use for that same exact purpose.
In any case please sit back and enjoy Naruto: Omake Theater!
It was a perfectly normal day in Konoha... Normal, that is, if this was a different anime. No matter how many Anbu teams Tsunade-sama sent out the infestation of magical girls was growing and giant robots were falling out of the sky to do battle with equally large monsters before vanishing again. With huge sections of Konoha being destroyed (and with most of her ninjas running off for quickie weddings with the magical girls) Tsunade-sama felt like she had only one choice. Taping a sign saying 'Back in 10 Years' on her door, she grabbed her bags and ran out of town, dragging a screaming Shizune after her. She needed a break and if her faithful assistant wasn't with her then how would she get back to her hotel room after getting completely wasted?
"TSUNADE-SAMAAAA!" Shizune shrieked, trying to drag her boss back. "LET GO! SOMEONE HAS TO TAKE CARE OF THINGS WHILE YOU RUN AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS AGAIN! LET GO TSUNADE-SAMMAAA!"
The magical girls and robots sweatdropped, but didn't move to do anything. After all, since it was a girl kidnaping another girl it couldn't be because the girl wanted to force the other into some sort of evil marriage, right? And the kidnapper wasn't big enough to fight with. What was a magical girl and a robot to do? So they went back to 'saving' the city.
Strangely, on the other side of town Kurenai and her team of gennin hadn't noticed a thing. Instead, Kurenai was about to teach her students the wonders of new weapons training. If she didn't kill them first...
"Yes Kiba, there may be times when Akamaru isn't there to fight with you," she growled for the 100th time as she glared at the boy. "And enemy nin may develop a pesticide that could affect your bugs Shino."
The two boys scoffed. "But war fans are for girls!" he growled, looking down at the object with distaste.
"..." Shino said.
"Good point Shino!" Kiba cheered. "See Kurenai-sensei, Shino has a good argument!"
Kurenai sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. Shino did have a good point... "What do you think Hinata?"
Put on the spot like that Hinata blushed, shoving her fingers together multiple times. "Um... I... Err... Yo-You see..."
"Hinata agrees with me at least," Kurenai muttered, still glaring at the boys. "Well, it's tied two to two and since I'm your sensei you're learning the new weapons."
"But-"
"I SAID YOU'RE LEARNING THEM, UNDERSTAND ME?"
"HAI!"
Kurenai beamed at them. "Good. Now first up we'll learn how to use the whip. Since this is your first time handling it I just want you to crack it. Be careful not to hit each other."
"Hai, sensei," Kiba sighed, accepting the whip.
Hinata blubbered incoherently as she took her whip, blushing.
"..." Shino said.
"Don't use that tone of voice with me, Shino!" Kurenai snapped, glaring at the cheeky boy. "Now everyone, crack the whip."
The three did so.
"Good now-"
Hinata cracked the whip again.
Kurenai smiled at the girl. "Very good Hinata. Now-"
The raven haired girl cracked the whip again.
"Err... That's good, but we're moving on –"
And again.
"... Hinata?"
A strange smile on her face, Hinata cracked the whip again and again before laughing uproariously. "OHOHOHOHOHO! CALL ME PRINCESS!" she shouted, bringing the whip around to crack it over her team-mates' and sensei's head.
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kiba and Kurenai screamed, turning tail and running for dear life.
"...!" Shino swore, right on their heels.
Hinata laughed again ("OHOHOHOHO!") before ripping off her clothes revealing the skimpy leather bikini and suddenly balloon sized breasts. Still laughing ("OHOHOHOHO!") she gave chase, cracking the whip as she ran.
"Out of the way!" Kurenai screamed, barreling down the path and shoving Kakashi to the side.
Kakashi raised an eyebrow, watching them go. "Now what was that all abou-"
"OHOHOHOHO! CALL ME PRINCESS!" Hinata laughed, running by and cracking her whip against Kakashi's butt.
Kakashi yelped and rubbed his behind. "Kids these days," he muttered to himself, going back to his book.
In front of him a blue portal opened and a lone figure stepped out. "Yo."
Kakashi glanced up to see... himself. Raising an eyebrow he tucked away his book. "Yo."
The two stared at each other, a tumbleweed rolling past. Now that Kakashi was actually looking at his clone he could tell the slight differences. The hair was slightly longer... Both eyes were visible... He had a cybernetic arm and leg, a huge six foot cannon slung over his shoulder, and a glowing blue portal behind him. Little things really...
"So... ahh... What's up?" Kakashi asked.
The other Kakashi rubbed the back of his head with his cybernetic arm. "Maa... Nothing really..." he said smiling. "I'm from the future."
"Sou desu ka?"
"Hai, sou desu."
"..."
"..."
"How's the future?"
"Nice. We got rid of that dying problem."
"That sounds nice."
"I guess..." FutureKakashi rubbed the back of his head again. "Is this a bad time?"
Kakashi glanced at the sun. He was five hours late for his team meeting. "Nope. Plenty of time before I have to be somewhere."
FutureKakashi nodded. "Well, you see I have a little problem."
"A future problem?"
"Maa... Yes. A big one for me- I mean us."
"Saa... Is that so?"
Smiling under his cloth titanium mask, FutureKakashi gestured to the portal behind him. "Ano sa... In the future Jiraiya has been writing a lot of books you see..."
Kakashi raised an eyebrow. "Can't wait to read them."
"Neither can I. That's the problem." Looking a bit sheepish FutureKakashi continued. "Since well, I couldn't wait for the next issue to come out I got Sakura to build this time machine and got all the books Jiraiya wrote from my time in the future to when he declares retirement and goes to live in the Playboy mansion."
Kakashi nodded sagely. "I see."
"Since I'm pretty busy in the future, I was wondering... Could you read some of them for me? So that I can read them?"
"I humbly accept," Kakashi said calmly, an evil glint in his eye.
FutureKakashi nodded, looking relieved. "Saa... Good. Can I drop them off now?"
"Sure." Smiling brightly, Kakashi helped his future self move all the books from the portal onto the path. After grabbing the last stack he happily opened one, looking at his double from over the pages. "So why are we so busy in the future?"
FutureKakashi shrugged. "This and that reason. Duties. Being Hokage of the world, the savior of mankind, and the CEO of the world's largest adult video studio takes a lot out of you."
Kakashi winced sympathetically. "Nice seeing you."
"You too. Enjoy."
Kakashi gazed around his stacks of books as the portal closed. Imagine it... Not only did he have all the books Jiraiya had written so far... He also had all the future ones as well! Hmm... He'd better get reading...
"KAKASHIIIIII!" Gai shouted, leaping down into the clearing. "My eternal rival! You must-"
"Not now Gai."
Gai blinked, looking crestfallen. "But-"
"Reading."
Gai pouted, kicking up dirt with his feet. "But Kakashi..."
"Maybe later," Kakashi said, turning a page.
"What are you reading anyway?"
"All the books Jiraiya has ever written - of the future!"
Gai sweatdropped, edging away. "OoooKay... Umm... Later then."
"Later."
Grumbling to himself, Gai marched away. "Stupid Kakashi... Never has time for me anymore... Always avoiding me..." The bushy eyebrowed man paused, a horrified look coming over his face. "It couldn't be! He's found a replacement! A new Eternal Rival." Gai hesitated, unsure of what to do.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Gai wailed to the heavens. Breaking down, he fell upon the forest floor and began to cry.
"WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WH- (Swish!)"
"Oops. Stepped in something," Gaara muttered, his robot dancing around until he could look at the bottom of his shoe. "Eww... It's hairy..."
"Never mind that Gaara!" Naruto shouted, his own robot a few meters away. "Let's destroy Tokyo!"
"Sure Godzilla won't get mad?"
"We can take him!"
Gaara shook his head sadly, the robot following the movement. "Baka. When will you learn that nobody, not nobody, messes with Godzilla..."
END