Disclaimer: No way. The lyrics are from Titanic the Musical.
Authoress Note: We're really glad you guys liked the last chapter, we were both kind of nervous about our respective parts. Thanks: ) Sorry it's so short...short and quick, but more will be up either tonight or tomorrow: )
Chapter 10: No Moon
"No moon,
No wind,
Nothing to spy things by.
No wave,
No swell,
No line where sea meets sky.
Stillness,
Darkness,
Can't see a thing says I.
No reflection,
Not a shadow,
Not a glint of light meets the eye."
"So, how are you holding up?" Mark asked me.
"How am I holding up?" I had to laugh a little. "Are you kidding me? I should be asking you that."
"Well, you know how I'm holding up. Dr. McKenna told you." Mark jammed his hands in his pockets and stared at me with those beautiful blue eyes. "The same as every other comatose patient." He began speaking in a manner that was obviously in mocking of his attending. "If he doesn't wake up within seventy-two hours of when he was injured, he probably won't wake up. If he crashes again, we probably won't be able to get him back. Yada Yada Yada, you know the drill."
"Mark, honey," I said, meeting his gaze, "If you die on me, I'll find you and kill you again myself." I chuckled, putting my arms around his neck. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him. It felt good to be in his arms again. It felt right.
It felt perfect.
Mark saw the diamond on my finger. "Roger spilled the beans?" He asked, smiling, and showing off his dimples.
"Yeah, he did. Mark, I do."
"I knew you would." he paused. "Alexia?"
"Yeah?" I answered, kissing him lightly.
"Alexia, listen to me." he began, his blue eyes looking straight through me. "If I don't wake up-"
"Mark, don't talk like that!" I said, somewhat shocked. How could he think that, ever?
"Just, listen to me. If I don't wake up, you've got to move on."
I swallowed hard. "No." I said flatly. "Mark, I could never get over you. Ever."
"Just, do it for me?" He kept going. "Even if I don't make it, I want you to be happy." I didn't know whither to slap him or kiss him again. "Just, be happy Alexia. Don't live in the past like Roger. Before he met Mimi he swore that he would never get over April, and he wasn't happy, he wasn't alive. Live your life, win your Tonys," he chuckled, "Save the world, you know, boycott chocolate, save the whales."
I suddenly felt like a child again. "But, Mark, you're not..." I had to pause as I began crying. "Your not going to leave me, to leave us, are you? Is this good-bye? Are you dying, like for good Mark?" I began shaking slightly, hot tears running down my cheeks. Oh god, please, don't let this be goodbye.
"I don't know Alexia." Mark answered, holding on to me like there was no tomorrow. I leaned in and kissed him again, praying that it wasn't the last time I would. His lips were so cold...
"Mark, did you see who shot you?" I asked, biting my lip.
"Yeah."
"Who?" I asked.
"Well, I was in Mimi's bedroom," he began as I ran my fingers through his blond hair, "and-"
"ALEXIA!"
I sat straight up in bed, still holding on to my teddy bear as Roger's voice broke the silence in the loft. I shook the sleep out of my eyes and called out "What?"
"Are you alright? I can hear you crying." Roger said, appearing in Mark and I's bedroom doorway. his arms crossed.
"I'm fine." I answered, wiping at my eyes. Sure enough tears were present. "I was asleep."
A silence fell in the loft.
"I cried in my sleep after April." Roger said, finally as I padded out of bed, past him and into the 'kitchen' to make myself some tea.
"What?"
"After we found April in the bathroom, when I finally could sleep, I'd wake up crying." Roger said, averting his eyes.
No way. Roger admitting to crying over April? Well, I saw him cry over Mark, and he's his best friend and I'm his best friend's fiancee, so I guess there are no secrets anymore. "You were dreaming about him, weren't you?" He asked.
"Yeah." I answered, not wanting to reveal any more information. But, my words betrayed me (not for the first time). I found myself telling Roger everything. "But," I added at the end. "It's not the same thing as you with April, Roger. Mark isn't dead."
"But he's not here with you."
He had a point.
The microwave dinged, and I silently offered Roger a mug of tea for himself. He shook his head. muttered a "thanks anyway" and poured himself a cup of coffee. We finished our mugs in relative silence, said goodnight, and I went back to bed.
You know, when I laid back down on my side of the bed, looking out the window and realizing that the moon that had been full the night before had disappeared, leaving a void, I realized something. You would think that someone who'd been on her own so long, who'd revered her single status at one time (before she met the love of her life), would be able to get used to waking up in an empty bed pretty quickly, wouldn't feel that void like the one the moon had left in the sky.
Not so.
I would never get used to it. I couldn't stand not waking up, feeling Mark's chest rise and fall next to me. I couldn't stand waking up and not being in his arms. I couldn't stand waking up alone, and not having the first thing I do in the morning be kiss the man I love.