Title: Mairen, A Life Once Lost

Author: Fianna

Beta: Julie, when she has time

Rating: R ( at some point)

Warnings: Non-canon, tweaks Tolkien's story but hopefully the characters stay in line.

Disclaimer: Tolkien owns all of these characters and I as a fan and author try to stay true to his vision, but elaborate where he left off. I receive no compensation from writing, only feedback to inspire me to continue.

Chapter 14: Proposals

Lothiriel rapped the folded parchment she held on her husband's knuckles to draw his attention. Eomer turned to her with an apologetic smile and lifted her fingers to kiss them gently, but then returned his perusal to the voracious and boisterous crowd of Rohan warriors before him as they sat in the noisy hall of Meduseld. Lothiriel would not be ignored and leaned closer as they sat side by side.

"You will notignore me, Eomer. I am not going to let this go on any longer. I can't just stand by and watch her throw her life away."

Eomer heaved a long-suffering sigh and turned to her with a shake of his head. "I think you see more than what is there. Surely the maid looks happy to you; she laughs and argues as she always has." He waved in the general direction of the crowd before them and Lothiriel had to admit that at first glance Mairen did indeed seem as happy as the rest of the warriors surrounding her. But the Queen had studied the girl from the moment she'd returned from Lothlorien and had come to the conclusion all was not well with the Rohirran guard.

"I can see what she wants us all to see, but you have to look beneath her stoic demeanor Eomer. Or are you unwilling to consider the girl might wish to be somewhere else?"

Eomer leaned close to Lothiriel and took her hand in his. "My dearest wife, she has made her choice. What am I to do about it? I cannot force her to return to Lórien and besides we have heard nigh from them in six months. If the elf wanted her that badly he would have come for her by now."

Lothiriel snorted rudely. "If he is like you at all I can see why he has not. She has rejected him for Rohan. Are you not able to see she has forsaken her heart?" Eomer sighed again, and Lothiriel knew she was pushing him hard. This had been a long standing argument since Mairen had returned.

"We have discussed this far more than I like," Eomer argued stubbornly. "As I said, she has made her choice. She admits nothing in regard to the elves, and has even become rather valuable to me." He leaned on his fist with an amused chuckle and waved a hand toward the table where Mairen sat.

"Indeed," he continued with a faint grin. "Did you not see how she put Lord Harad in his place just last month? Her knowledge of Rohan's history as well as the elves that once lived here and their borders had the man biting his tongue. His proposal in regards to our border dispute was neatly redrawn with little argument for he knew as well as I that her words were true. The fat goat will consider the lass more closely next time they meet. I fear she has not gained a friend in him."

Lothiriel smiled smugly, for Mairen had indeed pulled the rug from beneath the lord's feet. Eomer had been very pleased with her knowledge of their history and had taken to having her attend most of his dignitary meetings. She shook her head, realizing suddenly that Eomer had neatly changed the subject. She rapped his hand again in irritation. "You are a rascal!"

Eomer gripped Lothiriel's fingers tightly, and leaned forward to kiss her cheek. "She will be fine, L'iriel. Do you not think she knows what she has done?"

Lothiriel sniffed and leaned her head against Eomer's shoulder. "Of course she knows, Eomer. But it is too great a sacrifice. Have you considered what she is now? Or have all of you, her brother's included, ignored the fact that Mairen is not what she was. She is not like us anymore."

The Rohirran king's glance moved slowly over his warriors and settled on the slim woman before him. Mairen had changed, not only emotionally, but in appearance. She had regained the weight she'd lost, but yet still seemed slight. She seemed radiant next to the rough men sitting beside her, especially when she was caught unaware. As if the girl felt his perusal Mairen's gaze flickered to him and she nodded, and the gleam he had noted seemed to dim. He shook his head, telling himself he was seeing things and turned back to Lothiriel. "She is still a warrior, and a damn good one that I hate to lose."

Lothiriel nodded. "Yes she is. But how will she be after years of pain and heart-sickness? Eomer, think of our love, would you be able to put it aside for your king forevermore?"

Eomer's shook his head slowly, his eyes shadowed. "Nay, Lothiriel. I treasure you more than you can know. But you must be patient. I promise, if I can find a way to help her, I will."

She bowed her head in acquiesce, she could ask for no more.

Elweth slowly made his way into the upper regions of Caras Galadhon. It was an area he rarely attended without thought of the one who for most of his adult life had been a nemesis to him. Had he been wrong in his assessment of the March Warden? Seothlindë had been determined the elf was meant to love her, yet he had not. What might have happened had the slight warrior of Mithlond not died so young? He had wondered many times.

Did Mairen remember Seothlindë's convictions as strongly as she had felt them while alive? Elweth had to believe so, and yet she had rejected those very same feelings and returned to Rohan. It was an incredible force of will, for Elweth knew first hand how strong Seothlindë's desire for the elf had been. Some of that must still reside in the Rohirran maiden. He shook his head in amazement, for Mairen to leave Lorien, to forsake what she had lived her life for as Seothlindë was almost unbelievable, yet she had. What drew her back to the race of men?

And how could the March Warden have let her go so easily? That fact had also surprised Elweth. He reached a long arched bridge that spanned gracefully through the canopy and moved slowly along the wooden path, his thoughts still turned inward. Overhead the gilded leaves shivered in the soft breeze and a few floated effortlessly down to land at his feet as he paused to lean on the rail. How could Haldir have allowed her to return to Rohan after his declaration that she belonged to him before everyone including Lord Celeborn? Elweth whirled as he sensed a presence behind him.

"You seem very deep in thought, Elweth? Does your mind center on my brother since you are so near to his talan?"

Orophin stood in the center of the walkway. The warden was dressed for travel and he held the long bow of the border guardians casually at his side, yet Elweth felt the faint air of distrust the elf held tightly in check. Elweth touched his heart and bowed. "In fact it does, Orophin. Actually, I was on my way there. I have to know what he intends to do about Mairen. It has been months since she left and I have heard nothing."

Orophin's face was inscrutable, but Elweth caught the hint of worry that flashed in the elf's eyes. "What Haldir does is his business."

Elweth shook his head adamantly. "Not true. My concern for Mairen is comparable to the March Warden's. I have been as close to her as any and Loriel also grows worried. I cannot believe she does not plan on returning."

Orophin shrugged. "You were close to Seothlindë, which is not the same. Why does it matter to you? She belongs to no one she says. She has chosen Rohan."

"I don't believe your brother would give up so easily."

Orophin smiled languidly. "Who said he has given up, Elweth? Perhaps he only gives her time to truly understand what her choice means. She is immortal although she continues to deny it. She has many years to consider before her."

Elweth folded his arms over his chest with a grimace. "And so Haldir will let her grieve to spite her for rejecting him?"

"Nay, Elweth, I would not." Haldir advanced toward them slowly as both elves turned.

Elweth stiffened, his arms dropping to his sides. "What do you plan then?"

Haldir's gaze rested for a moment on the forest and then the silver eyes turned to Elweth. "Do you still love her?" Haldir asked unexpectedly.

"No, not as you do," Elweth responded immediately and Haldir sent him a surprised glance.

"That is good," Haldir replied genially. "I have been your rival for too long."

Elweth turned to face the railing. "Aye, perhaps you were, although you did not mean to be such an adversary. But I am no challenge to you, for you hold her heart now as surely as you did then."

Haldir nodded and glanced at Orophin. "We shall see. I have done what I can. The rest lies in both Eomer and Mairen's hands."

Elweth stepped aside as both wardens moved past him, but his dissatisfaction in Haldir's response forced him to speak further. "So you leave it for her to decide yet again? She is stubborn, Haldir. She will not give in easily if she feels that her place is in Rohan."

Haldir stopped and turned back to face Elweth. "What will be will be."

Elweth threw up his hands. "Would you leave her in misery if she refuses?" he demanded harshly. "I wish only for her to be happy. I may not love her as I did, but I still care for her. I think she has been through enough!" Haldir's eyes glittered darkly and Elweth felt a momentary sense of unease. The warden, as few of the elves in Lorien, could intimidate him with a mere glance.

"I agree, Elweth, and so I take no offense at your tone. I understand her more than you think. I have played upon her heart, and now I will play upon her sense of responsibility. Do not worry about her. She will return to me and to Lórien where she truly belongs."

Elweth reached out to grasp Haldir's arm as he turned. "I hope my words did not force her decision when she left. I am sorry if it did."

Haldir glanced at Elweth's hand and the smith dropped it quickly. "You may have made her more determined to do what she did. But it matters not. She had to go, or she would never have felt certain her life here was right. I do not find you at fault." The March Warden paused for a moment, his gaze flickering to the shivering leaves around them and returned once more to Elweth. "But have no doubt the woman is mine and none other."

Elweth stepped back with a bow. "I ask your pardon in disturbing you, Haldir."

Haldir nodded and then both wardens strode swiftly down the path, disappearing into the shadows of the canopy. Elweth straightened with a faint smile curving his lips. It seemed that Haldir was as determined to have the elleth

Rolfe rolled over in his bed with a curse as the pounding finally woke him and he realized it was not only his head that was reverberating with pain but also the wooden door. He groaned and rose, staggering to the door to yank it open with a curse.

"Bloody hell, what in the horse's balls do you want?" He glared at the slight form still attempting to pound on the door, hand in mid air.

"Want?" Mairen snarled and pushed past her eldest brother with a snort. "I am just trying to wake the dead. Have you any idea what time it is?"

Rolfe rubbed his left eye, squinting with his right at the light outside. "It's daylight so it can't be too late." He slammed the door shut and sank down in a chair near the fire.

Mairen shook her head. "It's mid-afternoon, but that's not why I am here. King Eomer has asked for you, and I've been pounding on your door for nearly fifteen minutes."

Rolfe sat up with a groan. "Damn, why didn't you say so?" He rose and went to the tall stand near the door and poured some water from a pitcher into the wide bowl beside it. With a growl he bent forward and immersed his head into the bowl, splashing water onto the table and then straightened, wiping the water from his eyes.

Mairen grinned, handing him a cloth to dry his face. "At least you'll be awake."

Rolfe sent her a disgusted glance and swept out the door as she followed. "Did he say what he wanted?"

"Nay, would you like me to come along?"

Rolfe glanced at his sister. "If he has not asked you to attend him, then no. I am sure it is only regarding the patrols."

Mairen shrugged. "Well, whatever it was he meant for you to hurry." She waved him off at the steps to Meduseld and proceeded away from him toward the stables. Rolfe watched her go with a faint sense of despair. As much as she tried to pretend things were as they had been, she was far different from the sister he'd known only a year ago. He sighed and leaped up the steps and into the darkness of the great hall.

Eomer sat upon his throne, alone but for the guard's captain, Gamling. A fire was banked in the center of the hall, and the coals smoldered red as he passed. Gamling murmured a low greeting and Rolfe bowed low before Eomer.

"My Lord?"

Eomer leaned back into his chair with a frown as Rolfe straightened. "How well do you know your sister, Rolfe? Is she happy?"

Eomer watched the play of surprise brush Rolfe's features as the guard rubbed his hand over his face. Rolfe glanced at Gamling and then back at Eomer with a reserved expression but answered succinctly.

"I think I know Mairen very well, my lord. Of course she is happy."

Eomer leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Truly, Rolfe? Lothiriel thinks otherwise. Have you no counsel as to how she feels? Has she forgotten the elves?"

Rolfe's face went blank as his eyes narrowed. "The Queen is very perceptive."

Gamling coughed slightly and smiled. "The lady is very observant. She seems to think we are not." He gave Eomer an apprehensive glance but Eomer merely nodded in agreement. "I find your sister is much like the king."

Eomer turned to Gamling with an amused laugh. "Indeed? And how is this?"

Gamling folded his arms behind his back, moving to the side of the throne. "Both of you have two sides to balance. You have your responsibilities as king and your life with the Queen. Mairen has her role as a guardian of Rohan and also her personal life which she has abandoned." He turned his gaze upon Rolfe, his brow furrowing as he considered his next words carefully. "Do you not feel any concern that she lives only for her duties here in Rohan? Or are you just happy that she cannot cast her gaze upon the elves or at least one in particular?"

Rolfe's eyes narrowed slightly. "Since when have you become such a sage in such things, Gamling? Mairen is fine."

Eomer waved his hands with a sigh. Both men would as soon argue than face what he meant for them to consider, what he needed Rolfe to consider. "She has to weigh the importance of these two areas and hopefully keep them in balance."

Gamling gave Rolfe an unsympathetic glance and then bowed slightly before the Rohirran King. "Indeed. You do it well, she does not."

Rolfe snorted. "She just has not found someone here as yet."

Eomer lifted a surprised brow at the remark. "Do you think she will find a Rohan warrior and take him to her bed," Eomer demanded softly, "after she's been with the elf? Seriously, Rolfe?"

Rolfe stiffened. "She has only been infatuated with the elves, nothing more serious than a simple crush upon the March…" Gamling's choked laughter interrupted him and Eomer grinned.

"I think Gamling disagrees," Eomer explained, "as do I. You underestimate your sister. She is not a fifteen year old girl; she is an adult and has made adult decisions for quite some time. She is far different now than she was. You are blind to your sister's heart just as Lothiriel has said, or you just refuse to see it."

Rolfe sank onto a low bench in front of Eomer with a frustrated groan. "I had hoped it would be a brief attraction and then she would forget him. But she has not."

Gamling snorted again and Eomer waved him back. "No she has not, nor has he."

Rolfe's head jerked up and he stared at Eomer warily.

"You have had word with the elf?"

Eomer lifted a paper thin parchment from the table at his side. "I have." He glanced at it and then again at Rolfe. "I asked you how well you know your sister. Tell me, if given a chance to return to Lórien and to the elf, would she go?"

Rolfe shook his head. "No. She has told herself that this is where she belongs. Unless he came and carried her off, she will stick to that decision whether it is right or wrong. She is stubborn."

Eomer nodded in agreement. "So I have thought as well. So she would choose her responsibility to Rohan as more important?"

"Aye."

Eomer scratched his chin. "Well that makes an interesting dilemma, does it not? The wench is not happy, and yet she refuses to return to Lórien. I am quite sure Haldir has considered this too." He waved the letter again. "So," Eomer continued, "if the girl feels her duty comes first, would she do whatever I asked of her, if it were for Rohan?"

Rolfe stood up slowly, his face growing pale. "I believe she would," he answered suspiciously.

Eomer's lips curved in a sardonic smile, aware of Rolfe's struggle with his own sense of duty to Rohan as well as to his sister. If he was the man Eomer thought he was, the next question was going to be a difficult one for Rolfe to admit to. "Even if I decided that it might mean she must leave Rohan?" Eomer asked gently.

Rolfe frowned, his face stiff with displeasure. "What are you getting at, my lord?"

Eomer stood up and faced the tall captain of his guard. An elite warrior he trusted the man instinctively and without hesitation. "I am going to marry her off, Rolfe. I have been given an offer too good to refuse, a tie to a realm that will ensure Rohan's place in history for years to come. An ally we need."

Rolfe's face had gone white. "And to whom do you intend Mairen to marry?"

Gamling chuckled softly and both men turned toward him. "Probably that old goat Lord Harad. Serve him right to gain such a woman as Mairen."

Rolfe's fingers closed around Gamling's throat in an instant. "Over my dead body," he declared in a low growl. "She deserves far better than someone like him, ruler or not."

Eomer pushed the two warriors apart with a dry chuckle. "Stand down, Rolfe. Gamling only seeks to prod your pride. Harad is not who I have in mind. Perhaps you might want to read the letter I received."

Rolfe stepped back, his chin high and took the thin parchment carefully. Eomer watched him read it with a grim smile as an expression of amazement grew on the warrior's face.

"This is not their way."

"No it is not. But it is often our way, and they know this. An interesting turn of events would you not agree?" Eomer sat back in his throne again with a sigh, leaning his chin on his fist.

"I do not think Mairen would accept the proposal, not if she knows who it comes from. She will think it some trick." Rolfe stated apprehensively, waving the letter at Eomer.

"Does she have a choice if I were to decree it? The offer has been made to me, as one of political maneuvering. How can I deny such an offer? She will have no choice."

Rolfe sat down abruptly with a deep sigh. "And if I do not agree?"

Eomer leaned forward, his brown eyes glinting in the firelight. "Would you disagree, Rolfe? When you know in your heart it's where she belongs?"

Rolfe dropped his head into his hands, obviously struggling with the thought. "I cannot find it in my heart to say no. I just do not like the thought of her leaving Rohan, and with someone like him."

Eomer folded his hands, his own eyes cast at his feet. But his voice rang out softly, a commanding yet gentle tone that brought Rolfe's head up slowly. "But you will. As I command, or not."

Rolfe rose to his feet. "As you command? Nay, Eomer. I give my approval because it is what must be. But she will not agree if she knows who the proposal comes from. Their parting I think was not on good terms."

Eomer sat down on his throne with a faint grin. "Then we do not tell her who asks for her hand."

Loriel watched the tall elf crouch at the edge of the stream, the Nimrodel swirling, eddying in the spaces between the rocks. It picked up bits of debris as it washed along the edges of the bank and tiny fishes sent glittering flashes of light as the sun struck their silvery scales. Haldir stood up slowly, his head turning slightly as he spoke.

"Are you looking for me, Loriel?"

Loriel drew a silent breath. As much as she liked Haldir, and of late grown quite fond of him, he still could make her nervous. And the questions she held back would only serve to make the March Warden more distant, if that could be possible. Since Mairen had left the captain of the Lothlorien guard had been rarely seen. But Elweth had given her no satisfactory answers and so she had come to Haldir herself.

Haldir turned slowly, his grey eyes narrowed against the bright light, allowing her little chance to see any expression. His face bore none, as was his way, but she had learned to see the faint glimpses of emotion in his eyes. The lack of any boded ill for her answers.

"Have you heard from Mairen?"

Haldir shook his head. "Nay. Why would you think I have? She has returned to Rohan, and by her words does not plan on coming back."

Loriel moved closer, edging past a few rocks to stare up into the elf's face. Haldir bore her perusal stoically, only lifting a long arched brow inquisitively.

"I was just checking to see if you were serious. I know she said that, Haldir. But you don't honestly think she meant it?"

Haldir shrugged elegantly, turning away but Loriel caught the brief glimpse of a smile. She reached out to grasp his arm with a grin. "You have done something, do tell?"

Haldir's glance was stern and Loriel dropped her hand quickly. "It is not for me to say, for I have heard no response as yet."

Loriel folded her arms across her chest, biting her lip. "You would tell me Haldir if you thought she would not return? I have come to care greatly for the Rohirran as does Elweth. You have no cause for worry there, you know."

Haldir chuckled, and suddenly draped an arm around Loriel's shoulders to her surprise. "Indeed, I see his gaze has fallen on someone else, and if Rumil speaks true, then it is about time?"

Loriel waggled her eyebrows with a wry laugh. "Indeed, if I had to wait much longer I was going to knock him out and drag him to my bed." She chuckled as Haldir shook his head. "Perhaps this is what you need to do with Mairen?"

Haldir's deep breath spoke volumes. "Nay, Loriel. I cannot force her to come to me. Not in that respect. I will do what I can, but in the end it really must be her decision. If she loves me."

Loriel stepped in front of Haldir, grasping his arms gently. "Loves you? Haldir she has loved you for two lifetimes. Perhaps it is just overwhelming for her to have such depth of emotion, and to have it so strongly in both lives. It can be frightening to love so deeply."

Haldir brushed his fingers under her chin with a slight twist of his lips. "True, Loriel. And I believe Mairen has the strength to overcome that fear. I can only hope so, but I do not even know if she thinks of me."

"She thinks of you often, although she tries not to," Lord Celeborn murmured softly and Haldir turned to face the elven lord.

"You have been in contact with her?"

Celeborn shook his head and waved Haldir and Loriel toward the edge of the stream. They began to walk slowly amid the grasses that grew along the bank. "Nay, but I have a sense of her mind, more so now that she has melded. I do not think she realizes it, and most of the time I have no idea what she feels. But when she is unguarded I think, her mind opens and she seeks something, but does not know what it is."

Haldir folded his hands behind his back. "I do not want to force her to return."

"No you do not," Celeborn agreed and smiled at Loriel. "But she has blinded herself from her heart. Something must happen to make her understand that she has a long future she must consider." Celeborn stopped and grasped Haldir's arm, his blue eyes dark with concern. "You must handle this well, Haldir. One wrong step and she will fly from you forever. We do not know what the Valar revealed to her in her sleep, nor what exactly they told her of her future. Perhaps even they do not know?"

Loriel felt slightly out of place, but Haldir did not seem to mind her presence as he walked slowly. He was frowning, his expression apprehensive. Loriel didn't know what to say and they walked in silence for quite some time, curving along the stream toward the city. Finally Haldir spoke his voice low and to Loriel's view, filled with a slight touch of dread. "Have you had a response to the letter?"

Celeborn glanced at Haldir briefly. "Galadriel receives the messenger even now."

Haldir stared above him into the distant canopy of leaves, a grim smile hovering about his mouth. "And you were going to tell me when?"

Loriel stopped, watching Celeborn's blue eyes twinkle mischievously. "When the moment called for it."

"And the reply?"

Celeborn reached out to rest his hand on Haldir's shoulder. "I think you will have a journey to make, Haldir."

Willem reined in the stallion, and the horse backed up several steps with a shake of his head and a snort. Mairen whirled the long stave over her head, moving in a circle as Willem kept abreast, twirling the spear in a series of complicated moves that had the men watching murmuring with approval. Eamon stepped into the ring and the two began to circle, matching step for step.

"I've seen you do this a hundred times now, it can't be that hard," Eamon insisted, spinning the long spear in his hand over one shoulder and then over his head. Mairen ducked the swing as it passed near her and then reversed her grip to whack the Rohirran on the back of the knees. He went down with a thud and the onlookers laughed heartily.

"Not as easy as you thought?" Mairen grinned, holding out her hand.

Eamon growled and caught her hand, only to pull her over him and onto her back. She rolled swiftly in the dirt and leaped onto her feet but then quickly flipped gracefully backwards to avoid the shaft of the spear Eamon swung at her waist. She came up swinging her own lance and the Rohirran ducked and twisted around to face her again.

"That was a good move. You were paying attention!" Mairen laughed, hopping over a low thrust from Eamon. Her moves were unconscious, remembered from a lifetime ago. But even with Seothlindë's skill, she was still vulnerable and found out quickly as Eamon moved forward.

"Yes, but are you?" he asked as he reversed the stroke just as she cleared the shaft and brought it up under her ankles to flip her onto her back. Mairen landed hard, knocking the wind from her chest and she took a moment to breathe while Eamon leaned over her. "If I were an orc you'd be dead."

"If you were an orc you'd be a really ugly one," she countered and then rolled to the side as he reached out to grab her. She rose to her feet and caught the binding of Willem's saddle as he passed by to pull herself astride behind him.

Eamon leaned against the spear and watched them circle around him. "Have you spoken with Rolfe today?"

Mairen leaned sideways to catch Eamon's spear as Willem veered the horse toward him. "No," she said as he evaded her. Willem shifted as Mairen slid off the horse and then faced Eamon again. "Why?"

Eamon shrugged. "Nothing. He was just looking for you earlier."

Mairen caught the staff Willem tossed her from his horse. "Well, it must not have been too important. I have not seen him."

Eamon glanced at Willem. "I am sure he will seek you out if it was." The Rohirran leaped forward and lances clattered as Mairen blocked his blow.

"Do you know what he wanted?" she asked breathlessly as they circled again. Eamon was getting harder to defeat as she taught him the moves she knew from long ago.

"Eamon knows nothing, but I thought I heard it had something to with a letter the king received." Willem called from the sideline.

Mairen turned toward him in surprise. "A letter. . ." she began and then found herself sprawled on the hard-packed earth with the sky and clouds spinning over her head.

Eamon leaned over her again, his eyes twinkling in amusement. "Aye, a letter."

Mairen hurried up the steep path through Edoras, weaving past the goat herders and sheep and assorted creatures that seemed to flock into her path. The gilded hall of Meduseld, long ago built by the Rohan kings glittered in the sunlight, scoured by the harsh winds of the mountains and plains. She leaped up the stone steps and then jerked back as the large wooden doors to the hall swept open and Eomer and Rolfe stepped outside into the wind.

She bowed before the king and then glanced at her brother. "Eamon said you were looking for me?"

Rolfe seemed uneasy and Eomer stepped forward to take her elbow and then drew her aside. "He was. I asked for you, Mairen." The King steered her gently toward the edge of the platform. From there they could see for leagues and in the far distance the purple-hued mountains that surrounded the valley. Eomer waved away the guards that stood near the door and they moved inside along with Rolfe.

"I would have a word with you if I might?"

She nodded shortly. "Of course, my lord. I am at your service."

Eomer opened his mouth but then closed it with an odd look. He turned toward the doors and called for Gamling. The captain hurried outside and Eomer took his arm to draw him near. Eomer reached up to his head and gently removed the heavy golden crown he now wore as king.

"Take this for a moment, Gamling." He handed the crown to the startled captain and then waited for a moment until Gamling understood he was to leave and hurried back inside the building. Eomer turned back to Mairen with a faint grin.

"I speak to you now as only Eomer, not King, nor nephew of the King. But as a friend."

Mairen smiled. "If you could only do so, Eomer; you will always be my king but speak freely."

The Rohirran ran a hand over his blond hair and then rubbed his chin. "It is not easy being the King. There are days when I would rather lie in bed with Lothiriel and forget the troubles we face. We have seen nigh the end of our world, Mairen, and survived. Of that we should be grateful, should we not?"

Mairen watched him carefully as Eomer paced before her. "Indeed, and I am."

Eomer sighed and sent her a searching look. "If you had the chance would you return to Lórien?"

She bit her lip and turned away, accepting his word that this was not a formal moment. Could she go back? She pushed away the thought, the hope. "No. I made my choice to stay, Eomer. I will not go back."

Eomer stood beside her at the edge of Meduseld, ignoring the long drop below him. "I would not be angry were you to go back. If you felt that was where your heart lies."

Mairen shivered as a chill ran down her spine. "My heart stays here, my lord. I have no wish to go back."

Eomer glanced at her, the sunlight glinting on the golden strands of his hair. "Do you fear he has forgotten you?"

She gripped the sword at her hip tightly. "I can only hope that he has."

Eomer shook his head and returned his gaze to the mountains for several moments. "Gamling!" he shouted and the doors swung open as the captain hurried outside again. "My crown?" Eomer asked as Gamling bowed before him.

Gamling blinked and then handed the crown back to Eomer who carefully set it upon his head. Eomer waved the captain away and the doors soon shut again, leaving Mairen and Eomer alone once more.

"I speak to you now as King, Mairen," Eomer stated quietly.

Mairen bowed before the tall Rohirran King.

"I give you a choice and once made I expect you to adhere to it without complaint." Eomer folded his arms behind his back and faced the mountains again. Mairen watched him with a growing sense of dread but made no sound.

"As King I offer you the chance to return to Lórien, to do what you wish with no ill feeling from this land. You will always be of Rohan, and we will always welcome you. Will you go?"

Mairen was startled to find the question before her again. "Nay my lord, my answer is the same." She drew back a step as Eomer turned to face her.

"This is your last chance, Mairen."

"One that I appreciate, but I am a Rohan Shield maiden and my place is here serving Rohan and you."

Eomer's sigh drew her up stiffly. "Why do you fall so neatly into my plan? It is as if the Valar have some will with you and lead you along." He shook his head again but Mairen did not see it as she stared at him in confusion.

"What do you mean, my lord?"

"I gave you the choice of returning to the land of the elves, of which you are a part though you deny it." Eomer began to pace again, seemingly unaware his crown tilted slightly over one eye to give him a rakish look. The king paced for a few moments, pausing every so often to study her.

"There are some things we must do for our people and not ourselves. Do you not agree?" Eomer's eyes met hers evenly.

"Indeed, my lord." Mairen answered steadily.

"And as such you have heard of the politics of royalty and occasions when matches are made between realms for the sake of peace and future prosperity and alliance?"

Mairen nodded with a growing sense of dismay.

"I have received word of one who has become taken with you, Mairen. Your meeting recently seems to have won his heart!"

Mairen drew back, searching her memory of such a suitor. None seemed forthcoming until she remembered the meeting with Lord Harad. Nay, it could not be him, the short squalid man had attempted to deceive Eomer but she had forced him to the truth. He couldn't be interested in her, unless it was for some kind of petty revenge…" Mairen felt the blood drain from her face.

Eomer continued to pace, oblivious to her dismay. "Indeed, the suitor claims you have stolen not only his heart, but the very words from his mouth."

Mairen felt faint.

"I cannot in all respect deny him this opportunity," Eomer continued "for in fact an alliance such as this would cement our relationship for many years to come."

Mairen shuddered. "If it is what you command, sire," she said weakly as Eomer studied the far mountains. Finally he turned toward her.

"I shall send word that the proposal is accepted then."

Mairen bowed low, hoping the horror she felt was hidden. "As you wish, my lord."

"She did what?" Lothiriel asked in dismay.

"She accepted it without a word." Eomer sighed as he lay across their bed.

Lothiriel pounced on the king, straddling the man below her. "What did you say? Did you not give her leave to return to Lórien?"

Eomer reached up to clasp Lothiriel's face gently. "I gave her a chance twice, dear heart and she refused."

"I don't understand? How can she deny her feelings for him?"

"Perhaps we don't know her as well as we thought?"

Lothiriel rested her forehead against Eomer's shoulder with a resigned sigh. "So you have thrown her to the wolves?"

Eomer drew his hands through his wife's long dark hair. "Aye, Lórien wolves my dear."

She sat up and leaned over him, placing her hands beside his head. "What do you mean?"

"The proposal comes from Lothlórien dear heart. She will go to the elves whether she does it on her own or by my hand."

Lothiriel bent closer to nip at Eomer's nose. "Does she know this?"

Eomer finally grinned. "Nay. I think she believes it to be someone else…"

"And you have not corrected that thought?"

He laughed softly. "Nay. And neither will you. It is Rolfe's choice to leave her in the dark, for he fears if she knew the real suitor is Haldir she would flee. For some reason she fears the elf and her own feelings toward him. She belongs not in our midst. It is unsettling for Uncle Theoden spoke the same at Helm's Deep as we sat along the ramparts after the battle. He said her path would take her from us and he was going to be sad to lose her."

"And are you?"

Eomer swept the hair back from Lothiriel's face to better see her. "I will be sorry, aye. She has been a loyal friend and a good warrior. But she will aid us even in the lands of the elves, for I shall call upon her to be my emissary when needed. Does that agree with you, my lady?"

Lothiriel kissed him, a lingering kiss that made him breathless.

"Aye, it does. We need to send for Eowyn. Mairen will be hard pressed to dress in something more suitable than a tunic and leggings."

Mairen sat near Epona, while the horse nibbled daintily at the bits of grass still green and not yet dead from the recent frost. The plain was cold, the chill wind of winter soon to come blasted over the rolling hills. She ignored the cold, merely drew her cloak tighter around her as she watched the sun slowly set behind the low mountain bearing the gilded hall of Meduseld in the distance.

So much she had given up, only to be used as a pawn among nations. How had this all come about? From her own stupidity she chided herself. How many times must Eomer ask her if she wished to go, to return to Haldir? She rested her head against her knees, but not in despair.

She had been certain her life lay among the Rohan. The faint memory that stirred within her mind, one that faded more each day of her meeting with the Valar seemed to drive her toward that choice. Was this her choice truly or were they meddling once more? Did Eomer's musing that she seemed to fall too neatly into his plans reflect their interference again? But how could she know, and did she really have any way of deflecting their wishes? Perhaps it was all meant to be?

She crossed her arms and leaned over her knees, as the sun faded behind the mountains, leaving the city black against the still purple sky. In moments lights began to blink on as the Rohirrim lit lamps against the encroaching darkness. She had but moments before the plain would be swathed in darkness, but she continued to sit as the stars began to glitter overhead.

Epona whinnied, but continued to graze comfortably. Mairen plucked at strand of grass at her feet absently. She had agreed to the whole folly. She could not refuse now, and would not. She had chosen her path.

Would he understand? She drew the worry stone from within her pouch and held it lightly, unsure whether it would react to her if held gently. Did she dare contact him and tell him? What would he do? Would he even meet with her?

It was only fair that she tell him. He would more than likely be hurt, but also must know that in the end she could not refuse. He understood duty, and loyalty did he not? She held the stone to her cheek, feeling it warm beneath her fingers.

Haldir?

The word, his name evoked a memory of the forest. A deep woodsy smell seemed to drift under her nose; a sound akin to the leaves shivering in the mild breezes that swept the Golden Wood caught her ear. She closed her eyes, her heart swelling with the memories and called to him within her mind.

Haldir.

The answer this time was swift; a brief glow of candlelight as she saw what he saw and then his mind filled hers, his worry and relief touched her thoughts. She drew from a memory a picture of the banks of the river, a small stream that led into the wood. He answered quickly. It would take her two days to get there, for him hardly a day. He was near the western border already. He would wait.

Mairen shuddered as she dropped the stone to the ground. The force of his personality, the very essence of him filled her mind and she could not push it away. She lay back amid the frosty grass to stare up at the twinkling glow of the stars. Dear Elbereth, could she see him again only to say good-bye. She closed her eyes as a tear slid down her cheek and into her ear.

Haldir leaped from rock to rock, crossing the river easily in the shallows toward the small stream that Mairen had envisioned. What did she have to say? Would she speak of his letter? They had received Eomer's formal acceptance. Why would she wish to see him?

He reached the small bower, surrounded by trees and split by the stream. It was a tiny glade, and he was surprised she had remembered it. Had she drawn the image from him? It was a place of solitude and he'd come here occasionally to stare across the plain, knowing she was there.

A movement amid the shadows drew his attention and he stepped back in the midst of the trees to watch. Mairen drew her horse through the wood, picking her way through the brush quietly. Haldir watched her cross the stream and then release Epona to graze the tender grass in the glade. Mairen turned around, studying the trees, the sky and then finally the very shadows where he stood.

"I nearly didn't see you, but you did not try very hard to shield yourself."

Haldir stepped out from the trees. She had grown very observant. "Mairen."

She stood staring at him, her face devoid of expression. Haldir waited, not knowing what she was feeling; only sensing the turmoil that still seemed to surround her.

"Are you all right?" he asked carefully as she swallowed and ran a hand over her temple.

"Fine, Haldir." She must have realized she was rubbing her forehead for she pulled her hand free with a frown. "I needed to tell you some news."

Haldir drew closer, but not within reach. "Indeed. And this news?"

Mairen looked away, her jaw tense, her demeanor too stoic for his liking. "I… how have you been?"

Haldir nearly smiled, but only bowed his head slightly. "As well as to be expected."

She whirled to stalk across the glade to the stream and bent down as if to drink. A stalling tactic, what was bothering her? Had she come to tell him she'd changed her mind? She rose, shaking the water from her hand and then slowly turned toward him.

"I am getting married, Haldir."

He lifted a brow. "Indeed?"

She was clenching her fists, her body stiff and unyielding. Haldir could sense the difficulty she was having with her choice of words. "It's a political match…"

He sensed something amiss. Did she not understand? "Are you being forced to marry…." He began but she turned away again.

"No, I am not. I … I agreed, Haldir. I am sorry."

He was confused but did not approach her. "Sorry, Mairen? Why?"

"Because I won't be returning to Lórien, I have duties and loyalties. I … Eomer needs… because I am not marrying you, Haldir." She finally stated as she turned to face him, her face set, but her eyes were deeply shadowed.

"We don't marry, Mairen, we bind together," he corrected absently and frowned. Not with him, but they had received Eomer's assurances that she had agreed? He stepped closer but she backed away several steps.

"Who are you marrying?" he asked.

She bit her lip and gave him a confused smile. "I… believe it is Lord Harad…"

Haldir stiffened and crossed toward her too quickly for her to evade him. He gripped her arms drawing her close. "How do you know this?"

She was trembling and he wanted desperately to crush her against him. She pushed his hands off her arms and stepped back. "I, well…I… I don't know but Eomer did say it was someone I had dealt with recently, and we just had a visit from him. And that it would cement their relationship. It all fits so well."

"But he did not tell you this?"

Mairen rubbed her temple. "Well no, I don't think I gave him the chance, really. I was too surprised to pay attention to anything else but that he'd received such a request. I … I had to agree. You understand don't you?" she pleaded softly.

Haldir clenched his teeth. He understood too well the Rohirrim penchant for teasing. He would speak with Eomer on it, but for the moment he caught Mairen's hand in his, drawing it to his lips. "So you would take another?"

Her eyes widened and she drew back her hand to her chest. "It's not like that; it's only a political match, nothing more."

He snorted. "You do not think he will want what such a marriage entails?"

Mairen flushed. "It will not be like that."

Haldir drew closer, nearly touching her but not quite. "I doubt that, Mairen. Have you truly considered what you have agreed to? He gains your heart as well as your body."

She shuddered. "I cannot refuse. I have given my word." She whirled away and caught Epona's reins. "My brothers wait for me on the far ridge. I cannot stay any longer." She leaped into the saddle with a grace that made Haldir smile. He stepped forward as she turned Epona around.

"Have faith in the Valar, Mairen. They have chosen." He stepped back as she urged her horse forward and then she was gone, the sound of the horse's hooves echoing back to him.

His eyes narrowed as he looked over the plain. Eomer and Mairen's brothers would have some explaining to do. In a moment the glade was empty, only the stream gurgled in the distance.

The fire had burned to blackened embers when Mairen awoke. The room was cold as she lay curled beneath the heavy quilt, frost had etched intricate patterns of delicate veins on the window and the air was bitingly crisp and burned her nose as she took a deep breath. Winter had arrived during the night and she curled deeper beneath the blanket, wrapping her arms around her pillow.

How much longer did she have she wondered. She knew that Eomer had sent word of her agreement, yet still he had not formally announced the betrothal. Was there problems or had the man changed his mind? She shivered as a chill slid slowly down her spine. She could only wish he would. She closed her eyes, not wanting to face the day quite yet. It was early and the sky was just beginning to lighten. She lay still, unconsciously falling into a reverie that she'd seen Haldir do many times. Her mind free she relaxed.

But not for long.

The air on her skin was warm, a lingering kiss of heat that had caressed her, even as he slid the edge of her sleeve over her shoulder. How had she dared to become so bold, and toward the very one who had made her tremble. As she was now as he leaned closer, his lips trailing a path along her collarbone and down her shoulder. Haldir, she whispered as he kissed the edge of her chin. She was breathless, his fingers caressing her hips as he leaned against her, pressing her gently against the tree behind her. Her skin burned where he drew his fingers, even through the sheer material of the elven gown she could feel the heat from his hands. He slid his arms to either side of her head and pressed a gentle kiss near her ear, moving his lips to the sensitive spot just behind the lobe. Mairen he whispered back, his voice deep and resonant as it sent icy shivers down her spine. She drew her hands along the soft fabric of his tunic, the gold a faint glow in the darkness.

He held her gently, his fingers sliding through the strands of her hair. She could feel him, as he leaned over her, the hardness of his muscles, and the strength in the body against hers. He slid his fingers under her chin gently lifting it to press a soft kiss on her lips. 'Do you truly want this, Mairen; for once we begin I will be hard-pressed to stop.' She had answered with a kiss. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders sliding her hands through the length of his hair. So soft, softer than her own it slid over her hands like water to lie against his back.

His breath was warm on her neck and goose-bumps rose to make her shiver and he wrapped his arms around her pulling her tightly against his chest. 'Tell me what you feel, Mairen. I would know what you like?'

Like? What was there not to like as his lips trailed across her shoulder again. He moved the sleeve off her other shoulder baring both to his slow kisses. Her body was on fire, her skin tingling with sensations she'd never felt before. What magic did he have to evoke such tantalizing feelings within her? She gasped as his lips slid lower, over her chest and down to where the fabric of her dress still covered her breasts.

'Do you like my kisses, Mairen?'

Mairen woke gasping for air, trembling with desire and shock. Curse the Valar, why would they allow her to suddenly remember that night and then wake her in the middle of it. She pressed a shaking hand to her eyes, trembling as her blood raced through her veins. How could she marry another when these thoughts now flooded her mind?

She sat up shakily, her body aching for something she could not yet remember. But his kiss still lingered in her mind and she pressed her fingers on the skin of her shoulders, remembering his touch. How could she have forgotten it? The goose-bumps were real as she shivered, both with cold and heat, pulling the heavy quilt around herself.

The door flew open, bringing with it a rush of frigid air and her brother carrying two mugs that steamed in the chill. He shoved the door shut with an arm and then carried the mugs to her and set them on the table nearby.

She stared at Willem as he pulled up a chair to the bed and then handed the mug to her.

"We have some things to discuss, sister."