I tried to nap only once on a march with the Shepherds if I didn't count the coma I was in last time and everything went nuts in a second. The Grimleal somehow got here, tried to do some negotiations before attacking us and I slept through the entire thing.
And that was a feat I wasn't proud of at all, even though the small rest was welcoming.
Don't beret yourself over something so trivial, Robin told you to rest. How was she or you supposed to know the Grimleal of all people would show up?
I tensed up, not expecting the response I got before realizing who spoke.
"Huh, somehow I forgot you are here for a second."
Thank you for being so self-aware, should I give you a constellation prize for your efforts?
"And what do I get?"
A mental note to not forget my existence.
...Anyway, my other-self aside, Robin, who filled me in on what happened in the ambush, was standing next to me near the large pyre made from dead bodies of the Grimleal… and our pegasus knight squad.
The air felt extremely humid even with the heat emanating from the flame. The mist that obscured us was now gone, making the noon sunshine assault us, yet the slight cool wind started to gnaw on me like a cold hand on a shoulder.
I forgot that seasons did exist here somehow and winter was coming, right in the middle of this war and I had no idea how that will impact the fighting.
Your thoughts can not get any more grim today, can they?
"You are saying that like it's my fault."
I spotted Chrom looking at the fire with Sumia in tow, her eyes also glued on the pyre. Some of the Shepherds had to leave because of how the smell of burning corpses permeated the air, yet somehow I wasn't bothered by it at all. It did smell similarly to the Risen, but much more potent.
"Who else did we lose?" I suddenly asked Robin.
"Besides the entire squadron of pegasus knights, except for Cordelia, thankfully nobody else." She answered.
The whole squad was gone? Just like that? A knot in my stomach formed and the idea that it could have been any of the Shepherds didn't help in the slightest.
And then there was Cordelia herself. I thought by making the pegasus knights retreat from the border would help them survive, but again, it didn't do anything. It only prolonged their inevitable deaths.
I also wouldn't be able to help her at all when it came to things like the death of a squad. The only death I had to deal with was…
"Radko?" Robin called me out, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Yes?"
"We are overdue for a long talk," Robin said in a leveled tone. Of course, she would press me after this attack. I was kind of hoping it would wait after the war, but she was getting bolder with her demands.
"We just had one a week ago. The one about me knowing things?" I said, trying to make her drop the subject.
"That doesn't mean we don't have other things to discuss," She looked at me right above my eyes and I got the silent message she gave me, making me grit my teeth. Thankfully, I was able to spot Chrom as a way to steer the conversation.
"Oh, hello Chrom," I said, sounding surprised to see him and I got a glare from Robin and knowing the reason why.
"I am glad to see you up and about again. Did you get caught up on what happened?" Chrom asked and I nodded.
"Robin filled me in and I am so sorry for my arrogance, I shoul-." But before I could finish, Robin punched me in the arm, making me grunt in pain.
"I'll stop you right there and say that those were your orders and you just followed them so don't even think about blaming yourself," Robin bereted.
"Pot calling the Kettle black," I mumbled.
See, she admits her fault, yet you still want to take the blame.
"Just shut up for now."
I could see Chrom smiling at us and probably some ideas were already floating inside his head before his expression shifted into something I couldn't describe.
"Radko, do you have any idea why the Grimleal are looking for you?" He asked, making my eyes widen.
"Wait, what?" I blurted out.
Wouldn't expect us to be wanted this quickly.
"Yeah, so? Any ideas why?" Chrom pressed and I had no idea how to answer that one. I had no clue as to what their reason was, but it could be something about me being able to use Ignis. Then again, I didn't use it in public yet so how would they know?
Didn't you mention something about 'not jumping to conclusions'? Even if you knew exactly what they were after, you can't do very much about it right now.
"No, I can't think of any. Not right now at least, sorry." I eventually said, and somehow feeling like I was lying through my teeth.
"I see," Chrom replied, having a distant look on his face.
"We can think about that later. Come on, we finally can see again and we shouldn't keep both Flavia and Emmeryn waiting." Robin urged us and we all nodded. She then turned to me.
"Seems you have rested well enough, Radko. You are going to be the tail of our march with me," Robin said with a tone that brought no discussion whatsoever and a stern glare.
I sighed and nodded, waving dismissively before getting my necessary things out of the carriage I was sleeping in and we soon resumed our march towards the Feroxian army.
Not soon after reaching my spot, Robin came as well, the look on her face told me she was adamant about not letting me escape this time, making me sigh, again.
I told you it would come sooner or later, you best hope she won't try to strangle you to make you release your secrets.
"I could try and just say no," If my second self had a mouth, he would have snorted.
Good luck then, you are going to need it.
We strode together awkwardly for a few minutes in silence. I was thinking that Robin would be the one to ask, but it looked like she was wracking her brain just to think of what she wanted to ask because of that thoughtful look on her face.
"So, what do you want to know?" I prompted, snapping Robin out of her thoughts.
"What's with the white hair? You have been very silent about that since it happened." She said.
"Would you believe me if I said I have no clue?" I asked, hoping for her to get the message.
"No." She answered curtly.
Were you expecting something else to happen?
"Figures," I said, ignoring the comment "I think it would be better just to show you.".
I fished out my tome and after doing the usual flick of the wrist, purple flames enveloped my hand, making Robin's eyes widen.
"What? I thought only I could do that."
"I thought too, but it was thanks to these flames I survived the impact back in Ylisstol. I also somehow no longer have that sickness that prohibited me from casting freely." I elaborated.
"Well, isn't that a good thing then?" Robin asked.
"Depends on how I look at it. On one hand, it is a boon that could be very useful in the future, but on the other…" I trailed off, looking at the flames with slight disdain.
"Does it have something to do with the Grimleal suddenly looking for you?" Robin said, throwing me off guard.
"How could you draw such a conclusion?"
"Radko, there is a difference between being stupid and being ignorant, and you are much more knowledgeable than you let on," Robin crossed her arms before glaring at me "Like knowing my origins which you still haven't revealed to me.".
I glared back at her "That isn't important right now, you know that.".
"It is when I know I am tied to the Grimleal somehow," Robin shot back.
"What!? How does she know that!?" I roared in my mind.
Calm down, there is probably an explanation on why she does know.
"How do you know that?" I asked her and she clicked her tongue.
"I guess that reaction of yours confirms I am, or at least was, part of the Grimleal in the past," She looked down at her robes with a mirthless chuckle "And the signs were there as well."
"Again, how do you know?" I pressed and Robin sighed.
"When Frederick interrogated me, he pointed out my coat being of Plegian or Grimleal origin and I had no idea back then what even those were," Robin said somberly.
"So, that made you search the Plegians and their religion," I concluded and Robin nodded. Damn it, she wasn't being oblivious at all, unlike in the game. Now I felt bad for not telling her.
"Yeah, and with you knowing who I am and confirming it for me then I guess I have been fighting my own nation this whole time," She pondered.
"Do you regret your decision on joining the Shepherds?" I asked and Robin shook her head.
"No, I don't. Chrom gave me a home when I had nothing to give him in return. My life didn't start somewhere in Plegia, it started with him, and if I have to strike down a Plegian because Chrom ordered me to, then I would do it." Robin said resolutely while I shifted my gaze towards the front where Chrom was. Although I couldn't find him, thinking about how Chrom just had that something in him that made him such a fine leader, even with his flaws.
"You know, I envy Chrom on how easily he can trust other people," I said, earning a bewildered look from Robin.
"What do you mean by that? I'd say people trust you. Some more than others, but still do nonetheless." Robin said, but I gritted my teeth.
"But that trust should go both ways, and I am bad at trusting people," I said somberly.
"How bad can you be?" Robin asked incredulously.
"Tell me, Robin, what do you actually know about me? Except for the whole fiasco back in Ylisstol." I said before spotting Lissa, who was waiting in a spot that we naturally reached.
"Heya, Radko, Robin!" She said with a smile on her face.
"Hi," I responded, making me smile as well. It was almost impossible not to be with her nearby.
"So, what were you two mumbling about back there? Some juicy gossip?" She pried with a small grin.
"You know it isn't lady-like to gossip, right?" I asked, slightly bemused.
"Psht, Maribelle isn't here to talk my ear off about how to be a lady. So, anything interesting?" She asked and Robin grinned for some reason when I looked back at her.
"Radko was talking about his homeland actually. I have to say I would like to visit it one day." Oh, you bi-!
"What!?" She shouted before I could finish that thought and then turned to look at me, her eyes almost sparkling with anticipation "How did I not get invited to this one!?".
"Well," I began laughing a little nervously while giving Robin a glare, who returned another smug grin "I was talking about Valm.".
If you thought I took Lissa by surprise then you should have seen Robin's face. Clear confusion was visible on her.
"Valm? Well, you did say you came from overseas. So, what is Valm like?" Lissa asked innocently while I was literally screaming in my head.
Can you stop!? I can hear you from here!
"Sorry, but I think I just dug a hole we can't climb out of!" I shouted in my head.
Just talk about our original homeland! I am pretty sure they have no idea what Valm looks like anyway so just say something!
"Alright, alright, you don't have to shout at me!"
You were the one screaming your… mind out earlier!
"It is one huge valley surrounded by mountains. There are so many wheat crops everywhere that you would think it's the only thing the country has to offer." I started while looking up into the sky "But no. There are so many places and forests to visit, it could be a little overwhelming at first, but that was the beauty of it. The endless forests filled with wildlife and so many goddamn mushrooms."
I looked back at Lissa who was so excited to hear me out that I let out a small laugh "The weather there can be a complete mess too. Some days during early winter it can be hot like it's summer or the other way around, and it can even snow during spring.".
"What? That is so cool! What about the cuisine? Last time you made that bear sauce that was just so good! Are you going to make it anytime soon, please?" Lissa begged with her puppy eyes and I smiled at her.
"Until we have a proper kitchen again, I won't. I would rather have a full ensemble of equipment to do something so taxing." Lissa pouted at that with crossed arms.
Gods, how are we getting away with this?
"Beats me, but I am not going to look a gift horse in the mouth," I thought. Seriously though, these lies will come back to haunt me, I was sure of it.
"But then why haven't you said anything about being from Valm?" Lissa pondered out loud. I absentmindedly looked at where Robin was and she was just as flabbergasted as I was that this was actually working. So much so that she began to chuckle and brought a hand to cover her mouth.
"I just wasn't comfortable talking about it, really," I rubbed the back of my head "If you want to, you can tell people once we camp if you won't have anything else to do." Her eyes almost began to sparkle. God, why was she being so adorable?
"Really!? Yay! I get to reveal Radko, I get to reveal Radko~" Lissa sang while hopping back to her spot. Once she was gone, I released the largest sigh in my goddamn life, making Robin unsuccessfully hold her laughter.
"Ha hah, laugh all you want at my misfortune," I said unenthusiastically. She began to snort through her mouth, barely keeping it together before it burst into probably the first laughter I have ever heard from Robin.
She looked… actually kind of cute.
"Ah, I haven't laughed this hard since probably never," She said after her laughter died down, trying to get air back into her lungs and wiping away some tears.
"Glad to be the reason for your enjoyment," I said sarcastically.
"Yeah, thanks. I needed that," Robin said, eyes all watery from laughter "Why Valm of all places though?".
"Let's just say I have the first lead to finally finding out who I got merged with, and their homeland was the first thing I found out," I answered and Robin smiled.
"That's great." She said before her smile turned into a smirk "You know how you have asked me if I know something about you? You are a really good liar.".
"I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not."
It usually isn't good quality.
"But," She spoke before a bright smile adorned her face and my eyes widened slightly at how beautiful she looked "Under all that facade of a collected man with a fake smile and very little passion for others, is just one big softie underneath. You are just bad at expressing your feelings.".
I stared at her for a good minute, taking in on what she just said. I was absolutely flabbergasted, with the only words that came out of my mouth were "How?".
"It took me some time, and I was very frustrated that I couldn't get a read on you but after what happened in the past few days, it just clicked," Her smile then faltered a little "But then there is the question why are you forcefully closing yourself off from others.".
My expression darkened, my eyes locked to the ground as I was taking one step at a time to keep up with the squad.
"I wasn't kidding when I said I am bad at trusting people," I began, eyes still focused on the ground, "My world was and still probably is filled with frauds and fake friends that I trusted with many things, but whenever I did, it always came back to bite me," I scowled "Just like my father.".
Robin was silently hearing me out, listening to what I had to say. How did I know when I was looking at the ground? Somehow, I just did and I couldn't stop talking either, everything came pouring out like a broken faucet.
"My father gave us everything. Fame, wealth, power, you name it. You could say that we were on par with royalty with how rich my family was because of him." A fond smile appeared on my lips "He made our lives simple and complicated at the same time. He tried to teach me and my sister alongside my mother on how to properly handle our wealth and fame, yet being a teenager that I was, I just brushed it off as another day of his many banters."
My smile fell.
"When my father became ill and no amount of money he spent on medical care helped him in that regard, he accepted his imminent death which I found cowardly, adding to my already weak bond with my old man." I looked up from the ground and began to observe the clear sky.
"The illness took him away way too early and even though he had a will to make my sister and me the inheritor of his enterprise," A deep snarl formed on my face, and I clenched my fist so tightly, sparks began to fly around my arm subconsciously "My father's co-workers stole it all away from us anyway.".
Robin's eyes widened and had a concerned expression.
"Radko… your magical circuits are leaking." She said and I looked at my arm and the sparks were still jumping around, ready to form a spell until they fizzled out like a wisp of smoke.
"Sorry… I don't talk about my past often. I never said anything about it to a stranger." I said, looking at Robin with a sad smile "I guess you are the first.".
"Then I consider myself honored," She said, a small smile gracing her lips "I am sorry for what happened to you, but what does that have to do with you not trusting others?".
"I knew most of my father's co-workers personally and they were like uncles and aunts to me. They didn't treat me like someone special or 'He is the son of the boss, show some respect.', you know? I thought I could trust them, but once my father died and they found out that none of them inherited the business, the bonds I created with them just shattered." I said, eyes glued to the sky once more. Tears started to well up in my eyes.
"They stole everything from us. Everything we had was gone in a flash and once the dust settled, they became nothing more than savages, yelling at each other about who gets to own what while the enterprise broke under its own weight. The legacy my father built up from nothing to everything turned back into nothing."
I turned my gaze back towards Robin, my eyes bloodshot.
"So, you can guess why I remained so distant, even though I always try to convince myself to trust you people, but I just can't. At least with the stuff that doesn't affect the Shepherds." I finished.
There wasn't a response from Robin, we were just marching with the squad towards our destination.
"Why would they do something so horrendous to your family?" Robin asked, her face downcast.
"The truth is, they didn't care, Robin, it was just a ruse. They were only using me to get on my father's good side. Those greedy bastards got what they wanted, and brought an end to our name. For better or worse." I answered.
"I am sorry to hear that," Robin said with a whisper. There was that silence again that should make everything awkward, but it didn't, it just was there to cope with what I have said. It has been a long time since I had a talk about that with my mother.
Not that it was possible now.
"You know, you still haven't said anything about your surname?" Robin pondered, before adding "But I won't force you to say anything, you have already said a lot.".
I smiled at her "No, it wasn't my intention to hide my surname, I just never got around revealing it. I never really found a reason why because everyone is on a first-name basis here.".
"Well?"
"It's Rieger, Radko Rieger in full," I said and Robin's eyes widened slightly.
"Wow, that's a very strong name," Robin admired and I snorted.
"Tell me about it. My mother always showered me with stuff like 'being special' and 'having a great destiny ahead of me'." I scowled "Look how that turned out. I got transported here of all places and now I am fighting a war for a nation that isn't my own because I thought it was the right thing to do.".
Robin snorted "It's getting a little ridiculous on how similar our situations are, but now it's my turn to ask. Do you regret joining the Shepherds?".
That made me pause my stride.
"I… actually do not have an answer to that. A little help here?" I called out.
She brought an interesting point. So far, we have done everything out of self-obligation, thinking we had to do something with what we got, yet we weren't ready for what this world had to offer.
"Yes, but at the same time, I can't say I didn't enjoy the time I have spent with the Shepherds, and I hate to admit it, but the fighting can be quite the rush. It kind of reminded me why I went to that kendo practice in the first place. If there is one thing I hate, it is the killing part."
But that doesn't answer anything. This is a yes or no question.
"Radko!" Robin shouted, being quite far away "Get a move on!".
I quickly caught up with the rest, excusing myself with a raised hand.
"Sorry, got lost in thought," I said.
"That's alright. So, have you thought of an answer?" Robin said and looked at her with a smile.
"No, I don't regret joining the Shepherds. I don't think there would be a better band of misfits than this one to join for a world-hopping individual like me." I said with a smile and making Robin chuckle.
"Well, we are an odd bunch, that's for sure," Robin admitted, making me chuckle as well.
With our little conversation over, we sadly couldn't reach Flavia today, as I said to Lissa. Everyone got their tents up and there was a large fire right in the middle of it with Stahl making our dinner yet again.
I entered Robin's tent and helped her with the usual stuff, marching plans, team placements, and so on. We worked in silence, only talking when it was necessary. It was then I realized I had to talk to Chrom about my sudden lie about being from Valm and I had to make sure Lissa won't reveal it sooner than that.
"Hey Robin, do you need me for anything else besides sorting the marching plans?" I asked her, making her turn to me.
"No, why?"
"I need to talk to Chrom about what I have told Lissa before something bad happens," I said while aiming for the exit.
"You know nothing bad would happen if everyone found out about where you are really from, right?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.
"True, but I would like to keep some level of privacy. I don't need everyone in the world to know about me." I answered and went towards Chrom's tent through the camp.
Surprisingly, there wasn't a mess tent in which people eat today, everyone just kind of got their food and ate it wherever they wanted. Some people were nearby the campfire while others were inside their tents doing whatever they needed to do.
Thankfully, Chrom's tent was the largest one here because it also functioned as the command tent.
"Chrom!? Are you in there!?" I shouted after I got close enough to the tent and I heard a small yelp from the tent.
"Come in," Chrom called out from the inside and I entered, revealing a similar room I have met once already back near the border. One big table with many chairs and papers and Chrom was writing on one of them with a quill. Once he put down the quill and released a quick sigh, stood up, and turned to me.
"Honestly, I am surprised your lungs still work after that shout," Chrom remarked, putting his hand on his hip.
"I always had strong lungs," I boasted with a slight smirk.
"Right," Chrom exasperatedly shook his head "Anyway, what are you here for?".
"Nothing important. I just wanted you to know that my cover story is that I am from Valm for now at least." Chrom raised an eyebrow.
"And you are telling me this because…?"
"Because Robin almost revealed to Lissa about where I am from and I don't need everyone to know that," I explained, and a curious expression formed on Chrom's face.
"Alright then, but I don't see that as a problem if people would know," Chrom argued, just like Robin did.
"You know how I am a little uncomfortable when talking about it and I don't need all of the Shepherds to pry. Some of these things are mine to deal with." I answered.
"Just don't forget we are here for you, alright?" Chrom said, making me smile.
"And the gesture is appreciated," I said, maybe a little too dismissively than I intended. I waved Chrom a goodbye before leaving the tent and once I got a small whiff of the aroma coming from Stahl's pot, I went to the fire to examine what he had cooked up.
"Hey, Stahl," I said to him, announcing my presence.
Stahl turned from his pot, the stew gently boiling in it while he gave me a toothy grin "Hey Radko. If you're here for a portion then you need to wait for a little while, it isn't finished yet.".
"No, not really. I just wanted to ask if you need some help." I offered. It had been some time since I cooked something, and I needed a refresher, it didn't matter how big it would be.
"Doesn't Robin need you more than me?" Stahl genuinely asked.
"No, the only thing left we had when we left was sorting out papers anyway." I waved it off. Stahl nodded before sipping his stew, and a small frown adorned his face.
"Damn, there is still something missing in this thing and I have no idea what," Stahl contemplated, and that was my call to arms when it came to making sure the food was good.
"Mind giving me the ladle?" I asked him.
"Sure, but I don't think it will make this any better with what we have at the moment," Stahl said while giving me the ladle, allowing me to taste the stew.
"Hmm, definitely could be a little sweater and it needs more body to it," I thought, hoping to get some sort of reaction.
Yes, adding something akin to onions into it will help. You could also add garlic too, with something spicy to give it a little kick.
I smiled "You know we always like it spicier than others, we'll just stick to the onions.".
"Stahl, do we have any onions in the convoy?" I asked him, taking him by surprise.
"You mean those brown things? How can they help with the stew?" Stahl pondered while I smirked lightly.
"You'll see," Was all I said before aiming for the convoy and bringing some onions for the stew. Stahl was still a little confused on onions could help.
"Again, what do you want to do with them?" Stahl asked one more time while I gave him a slightly deadpan look.
"They go inside the pot of course," I answered to the bafflement of Stahl.
"But they taste horrible and make your breath smell." Stahl reasoned.
"Do you trust me with this stew, Stahl?" I asked him "I know you made it, but these onions will make it taste so much better.".
Stahl sighed soon after my argument, relenting while scratching his head.
"Alright, but if it doesn't taste good, you are making a new batch."
"Thank you, Stahl," I said to him with a smile, before looking at the onions, and then back to the pot. Back to the onions, back to the pot…
I didn't have anything to chop them…
You… you really can't plan ahead, can you?
"Shut up, it isn't my fault I inherited my father's short-term memory!" I thought while slightly huffing, making Stahl raise the other eyebrow.
"So… Are you going to do anything then?" He asked, quite impatiently too.
"No, it's just…" And then it clicked. I no longer had that sickness when casting spells which meant I had free reign.
Oh, this will be quite an entertaining exercise.
I put the onions on a log nearby before bringing my tome, still stained with that Ignis spell, but that didn't mean I couldn't use my ice magic anymore. I concentrated a little, imagining a small table forming in front of me with a knife, perfectly sharp at the ready.
I extended my hand forward and heard a crackling sound from the ice forming, earning a small gasp from Stahl. I opened my eyes, welcoming the sight of an ice table with a knife that still needed to be removed from the sculpture.
Not only I didn't feel tired at all, but the accomplishment felt nice. I looked at my hand which still had small particles of ice jumping around still wanting to form something as well. A proud smile adorned my lips.
"Now I should have a place to cut them," I said to Stahl, before turning my gaze back at the onions and putting them on the table, the knife being sharp and ready.
"Don't you feel it's a waste of magic to use it on something so… simple?" Stahl asked me, still a little shocked at the fact that I created a table of ice.
"Then what am I supposed to do with magic here when not at the battlefield?" I shot back with a small smirk.
"I… actually have no clue. I wasn't really interested in the magic craft. I prefer a sword, a lance, or some work at an apothecary." Stahl answered with a shrug.
"An apothecary?" I parroted, sounding surprised while I started to remove the other skin of the onions. I kind of already knew that, but I didn't want more information about my knowledge spread. Playing ignorant would be for the best, I already had one close call, I didn't need another.
"Yeah, my father runs a shop in Ylisstol and taught me and my brother his trade, which is why I always keep a stock of ingredients for vulneraries and such at hand," Stahl said with a smile gracing his lips.
"And your brother is the older one, or?" I asked, now even sounding a little curious.
"No, he isn't and my brother always wanted to inherit the business. I wanted to be a knight on the other hand and Chrom gave me a chance and let me join the Shepherds. It made me happy, my brother was happy, and my father wasn't picky about who took up the shop. You could say we both found our culling." Stahl smiled at that, looking into the fire where the pot was still sizzling.
During his storytime, I have already diced the onions and tossed them inside the pot. Breaking a piece of the table with my magic, I used it to cover the pot to let the onions cook inside. It will be a small boost the stew will appreciate.
"You just can't cease to amaze me with your creativity," Said Stahl with a small chuckle, making me smile in return.
"Comes with a territory. Sometimes, I tend to overcomplicate things when a simpler solution is available to me." And Stahl snorted.
"You mean how you thought you were unworthy when you just downplayed yourself?" I slightly glared at him.
"You know there was some truth to my words. God, can't believe it was almost three months ago. Feels like a lifetime already," I contemplated.
"It surely does," He said while still eyeing the pot "Say Radko, what about you? You don't talk about yourself and I'd say I deserve to know something about my cooking buddy."
Well, he does have you there.
"We already told Lissa about our lie, and it looks like Stahl already knows." I thought before tearing my eyes off of the pot.
"Lissa already told you where I am from, didn't she?" I asked him and he nodded.
"She was very loud and vocal, that's for sure. Surprisingly, I was the first to hear from her about what you told her. Sounds like a nice place," Stahl said "I am more interested in the cuisine. The bear sauce you made last time was delicious, and you have to teach me how to make those 'dumplings'."
"Once we have time to spare." I said with a nod "As for cuisine… Well, with so many mushrooms around to pick up, we found a way to eat them, and our dishes are rather heavy on the stomach because of them."
"How do you prep them, then?" Stahl asked and then I got into many different dishes I used to do whenever we went mushrooming inside the forests of my homeland. Even after all this time I still remembered a lot of things vividly.
Somehow a little too vividly.
Where did that thought come from? Is there truly a way to remember something that well it would make you disturbed?
"No, not at all. It was just a small nagging feeling, really. Nothing else to it." I thought dismissively.
If you say so.
Our conversations slowly died down and coincidentally, the onions were done once we were finished, and it gave the stew the flavor it needed, making me swell with pride.
"Now that, is a good stew," I said triumphantly, making Stahl curious about the flavor.
"Let me taste it," He said while taking the ladle, before sipping the hot stew. His eyes shot open from the flavor, making me smirk.
"Well?" I asked smugly.
"This… is really good, I have to admit." He said, taking another ladleful of stew before tasting it again.
"Told you onions are a miracle, same as garlic. I never get how people can say that both taste awful." I contemplated "The stew should be ready, let's call in everyone.".
"Yes, let's do that." Stahl agreed, before eyeing the half-broken ice table next to me "You are going to do anything about that?".
"Oh, that's fine," I said dismissively before imagining having the table in my hand before crushing it, making the table shatter into million small shards of ice that were soon carried away by the small wind.
"You sure know how to be dramatic," Stahl said with a sigh while I gave him a look.
"You can't deny it looks cool," I justified only for Stahl to wave his hand lazily.
"Whatever floats your boat." He said before walking away to call everyone for dinner. I soon did the same, calling in most of the Shepherds. The last one on the list was Robin, who I still saw with a lit lantern inside her tent.
Pushing the tent flap away revealed a sleeping form of Robin still holding a quill in hand. A light snore escaped her lips, her head laying on the parchment she was writing on.
"God, how many times will I find her asleep during her work?" I contemplated.
We both know it is from exhaustion and the lack of sleep. Well, at least she is trying to keep herself from starving.
I sighed, before shaking her gently. A tired groan was my greeting before Robin rubbed her eyes, and stretched her limbs as best as she could.
"Good evening, Robin. Did you have a good power nap?" I asked her, making her turn to face me while scratching her head.
"Did I fall asleep again?" She asked.
"I don't think you need an answer from me when you can look at the paper you were writing on," I said, slightly bemused while pointing at the piece of parchment with a little watery mark on the side and a clear imprint of Robin's cheek.
She looked with her bleary eyes at the paper before her face turned slightly pink, she then turned to me immediately and a serious expression adorned her face.
"Talk to anyone about this and the Grimleal will be the least of your worries." I couldn't take her seriously because of the ink stains on her cheek. Plus, I have already seen her many times asleep at her desk.
"Whatever," I replied with a snort "I came here to tell you that dinner is ready.".
Robin's expression eased.
"Oh, very well then." She said while standing up from her chair and fidgeted slightly with her hair to look more presentable, although she didn't do anything about the stain.
You are not going to tell her about it, are you?
"Why should I? It will be an act of small revenge for that stunt she pulled off with Lissa." I thought mischievously.
You schemer… How do these pranks not get old?
"Because they are fun, and even though we, or rather, they had a rough day today, I'd say a little amount of joy will help them lighten up."
I see. We could use it ourselves as well, I admit.
I waited for Robin to get ready before we went towards the campfire, where Stahl was already giving out portions of the stew. He spotted us soon enough with a small grin.
"Well, took you long enough to bring Robin here. I had to stop people from eating too much of the stew." I smiled at him.
"Thank you, Stahl," I said to him before he gave me a bowl of that delicious stew. He was ready to give Robin a bowl as well before he stopped and raised an eyebrow.
"Um, Robin? You alright?" I almost broke from laughter once I saw the face Robin gave him. The clear 'huh' visible on her face.
"Why shouldn't I be?" She asked incredulously. Stahl then eyed me for a second, bringing my index finger to my lips. He sighed after that before smiling at Robin and giving her a bowl as well.
"What was that all about?" She asked me once we were out of earshot and near the fire.
"Beats me. Come, let's find a place to sit." I prompted her, and soon enough we found a log that was free for us to take.
Not all Shepherds were present, only a handful that wasn't training or just didn't bother to show up. Vaike was with Sully, debating, or shouting at each other over something that happened in the fight apparently.
"-saying is that if it weren't for the guy on the right I would have them both!" I heard Vaike boasting on the other side of the campfire, loud and clear through the crackling of the flame.
"Well, but If I weren't there, you would be eating dirt right-!" Sully continued while I didn't bother to eavesdrop on them because the campfire with the stew was much more interesting to look at than them.
I absentmindedly continued eating the stew until I had nothing left and leaned my head on my hand, gazing at the fire, as if it would tell me the secret why Alexander chose me of all people to be here.
"You would think he would find more qualified people than me," I thought.
It seems what transpired is finally catching up to you. I told you I wouldn't be able to keep it at bay for long.
I scowled "I knew that, you don't have to repeat yourself.".
Yet you still do the same thing again. It gets rather repetitive to see your state of mind so… jumbled.
"But is it my fault? I was already getting used to all of the trauma back home, but now all of this is happening. Got to Ylisse, hoping I would be able to play the hero, only for me to bite off more than I could chew. Now, the Grimleal at my back because of the powers I have that probably will corrupt me if I use them. I am the definition of an edgy protagonist."
It is still your fault. Nothing was stopping you from ignoring this conflict.
"...Go away. I want some time alone now."
...As you wish.
"Radko?" I heard Robin say to my left, bringing me back to reality.
"What is it?" I said while looking at Robin with that stain still on her, making me stifle a chuckle, but barely.
"You were just staring at the fire, and you were deep in thought." She elaborated.
Deep in thought is definitely one way of describing our situation.
"I told you to go away," I thought with a forceful tone, and the second me retreated into the depths of my mind. For now at least.
"I was, and I probably put too much thought into my situation," I said to her.
"I see," Robin spoke before eyeing the fire in front of us. She also had a look of contemplation, and I could feel that something was nagging her.
"I feel like I should ask you that instead. Is there something on your mind?" I asked.
"Many things, one being on how I handled the situation with the Grimleal." She spoke as her head slumped "Those pegasus knights were under my command and I used them so carelessly and because of me, they are dead now.".
"You know that's not your-."
"It IS my fault!" She yelled suddenly, taking me back "It is my fault. I should have known that anything could be behind that mist, yet I naively thought that they could easily escape any danger that could have come.".
I only stared at her, letting her ventilate as much as she needed.
"I just had to give them an order to stay close, and then they would be with us here now. Cordelia wouldn't have to suffer through her guilt of being the only survivor, and it is my fault why she is like this." She exclaimed while burying her head inside her hands, a small sniffed escaping from her and my eyes widened.
She… was weeping.
"Tell me Radko. Was this preordained or not?" She asked me, lifelessly looking at the fire.
I couldn't lie about this, I just couldn't.
"...Yes, their deaths were in the story I have read, although under different circumstances. They died at the border, and I thought that calling them back would help, but…" Robin's eyes widen.
"You have already helped them escape death once?" She started at me, guilt flowing through her eyes like a river that slowly pushed out hot tears from them "And I just wasted it like that? I… made all your work meaningless.".
She was right about making my work meaningless, but she couldn't predict that the Grimleal would come all this way here. I got closer to her on the log while bringing a napkin from my pocket, before wiping away Robin's eyes.
The gesture surprised her, but she didn't protest. If anything she let me get rid of the tears, before I spotted the stain from the ink. God, and I was pranking her while she was dealing with this guilt. I started to clean the stain away as well, making Robin curiously touch her cheek where her ink stain was once I was done.
"Why did you…?" She asked, before looking at the now black stained napkin in my hands before it was lost in the nether that was my pocket.
"I tried to help lift the mood, but seeing you struggling here just made me feel bad, so I cleaned it up," I explained to her before her cheeks turned red.
"And you didn't tell me!? I was walking around the camp with a stain on my face!?" She pointed to the pocket with the napkin.
"I thought you weren't one for looks, but yes, I didn't tell you because I found it rather funny," I said to her with a smile, but she turned her gaze to the ground, leaning her forehead on her arms.
"Maybe you should be the tactician," She said barely above a whisper, making me raise an eyebrow.
"Where did that come from?" I said.
"You have been using your knowledge in every way imaginable, even trying to save a squadron of pegasus knights you knew nothing about. You always tried to accomplish more than just what was in front of you, yet here I am, wasting the opportunities you keep giving us. You are smart, observant, and have everything a tactician needs to be.".
"Robin, I swear to God if you don't stop, I will slap you again like in Ylisstol," I said with a low voice,
"Then do it, because you and Virion would do a better job than-." She was interrupted by another weak clap against her cheek, turning it red instead of black and earning a gasp from her. She gingerly put her hand to soothe the pain before looking at me. I had a sad look on her face.
"You keep telling me that I don't praise myself enough, but you do the same thing. I wasn't kidding about the whole 'pot and kettle' thing." I said before making Robin look me in the eyes where I gave her the most comforting look I could muster "Robin, you said that I am your retainer, then let me always remind you that you are the best tactician this group could have. And don't ever think that there is a replacement for you.".
Robin just stared at me for a while, taking in what I said before a small chuckle escaped her lips.
"I am way too reliant on you," She remarked, making my snort.
"Isn't that supposed to be a retainer's job? I don't think I could rival Frederick, but I think I get the job done," I shot back, making her smile.
"Fine, you win this one," Robin relented, before tugging one of her bangs over her ear "I actually never had the chance to thank you for saving me back in that fight with the giant. So, thank you Radko, but please," She looked at me with eyes filled with worry that I saw for the first time "Don't ever do that again, alright?".
Her plea took me slightly back, though that was something I couldn't promise, "I will do whatever is in my power to make sure nothing like what will happen again, alright?" I eventually answered, and she gave me an unamused stare.
"I should have seen your answer coming, in that case…" She trailed off before suddenly punching me in the face, making me grunt in pain while hiding my face in my arms.
"God, what did I do!? You've asked me to slap you! I am gonna have a broken nose because of you at this rate!" I muffled my response.
"You went through a roof," She deadpanned "I'd say a light punch to the face shouldn't hurt you much in comparison. It's also for the fact you tried to prank me.".
"Just because I went through a roof doesn't mean it didn't hurt!" I exclaimed, the pain of her punch finally gone "Fine, I admit I deserved that. Though you could at least hit me somewhere else other than my face.".
"Your face just begs to be punched, so deal with it." She shrugged nonchalantly, before standing up, completely ignoring my reaction.
"Did… Did she just tell me my face is fun to punch?" I thought, completely dumbstruck by what she said, my mouth hung open.
Yes, you heard her correctly.
"Why are you still here!?" I roared in my mind.
You are not getting rid of me that easily. You should have known better, and it has been some time since I left you.
"It has been five minutes! Not even that!"
Have you checked the sun? It is clearly dark if you would open your eyes. Oh wait, you wouldn't be able to see it anyway.
"What is this!? 'Everyone is picking on Radko' hour!?" I thought as enthusiastically as it sounded.
You are such an easy target to tease. So much so that you can tease yourself very effectively.
"...You are not going to let me live this down, are you?"
No.
"Radko!" I heard Robin shout at me, making me jump in surprise "Gods, you just zoned out all of a sudden. I thought for a second my comment made you pass out.".
I looked at her with wide eyes, before recomposing myself with a few coughs "Yeah, I am sorry. Usually it doesn't happen often.".
"You have an interesting way of coping jabs then," She said with a snort, making me send her a glare "Anyway, tomorrow we should leave at sunrise and get to Flavia as soon as possible. Get some sleep because I am not letting you sleep inside the wagon again.".
"Fine, then I might as well get some shut-eye because your company is now the last thing I want right now." I shot at Robin who took it with stride.
"The feeling is mutual, though I expect you tomorrow to be the tail of the march again," She said with a tone that brought no argument. As if I had the energy to argue anyway.
I lazily waved at her before disappearing into my tent and slumped inside the bedroll I had and releasing a large sigh.
"That woman did not pull any punches today. Literally and metaphorically," I said, tired to the bone. Even though I didn't fight, this day mentally exhausted me.
She did have a reason, though you just let her do so. You could have shot back much better than you did.
"Not like I care anymore today. Sleep will come easily today, and I don't need to flood my own system on how to roast Robin. It wouldn't be productive anyway." I said, my eyelids slowly closing. I let out a yawn before the darkness enveloped me entirely, letting me enjoy a few moments of respite.
{*}{*}{*}{*}{*}{*}
Morning came faster than it should, and Frederick was already about, checking every single tent to wake everyone one, mine included. Getting my garbs ready didn't take long as I slept with them because I just didn't bother putting them down.
We soon began our march and since I was the tail, I had very little choice for company. Virion was with me on the march, and…
"My friend, I didn't know you were from Valm. Why have you been silent about it?" Virion said with a lop-sided grin.
"It seems that it was a bad idea of letting Lissa tell everyone," I said exasperatedly.
"Though I can understand why you have been quiet about it. Valm has been very silent in the past few years. I hardly know what is happening in that place," Virion pondered out loud nonchalantly, though I could see through the fake smile very easily.
"We both know that's not true, Virion," I said seriously, making Virion tense up.
"What do you mean by that, Radko?" Virion asked with a slightly worried smile present.
"Don't think what I said back in Ferox wasn't a coincidence, but I don't want to talk about Valm now. We have better things to do other than pondering about what Valm is up to." I said dismissively.
"Very well then," Virion relented "There is some truth to your words, but I just wanted to ask if you have any information on them. Anything you know would help immensely in the future.".
"I know surprisingly little about Valm, Virion. This is why after this war ends, I will leave for… What is the actual name of the continent?" I asked, completely lost, and Virion just looked at me like I didn't do my homework on time.
"You are extremely educated in many things, yet you don't know the name of your home continent?" Virion asked me, making me sheepishly scratch my cheek.
"Um, maybe?" Was all I said, making Virion sigh.
"Valentia, it is called Valentia, Radko. After the first Conqueror." He eventually answered.
"The first Conqueror?" I repeated, having no clue what he meant by that.
"Are you truly Valmese when you don't know your own history?" Virion asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I was doing a major in mathematics, not history." I deadpanned while Virion just stared at me.
"I can't seem to understand your point?" Virion said, completely missing the point of my remark.
Radko, you forgot these are medieval times, majors don't exist here yet.
"Yes, I know. I just wanted to scurry away from that subject at all costs. I have no clue as to what happened in that one game I can't remember now," I explained.
"There is no point, Virion. Just drop the topic," I said to him. Virion gave me a wary stare before relenting.
"Very well, friend," He eventually answered.
The conversation didn't last long after that, it was either some idle thoughts here or there with Virion working as a wall to bounce off ideas about… anything really, but nothing interesting.
What was interesting was the giant square of black dots in the distance.
"It looks like we have finally arrived," Virion said offhandedly.
"Yeah, and somehow I still have the feeling that this war will last a lot longer even with these numbers at our side," I said with a scowl.
"You are a very pessimistic person, Radko. I don't see why those numbers wouldn't help us in the days ahead," Virion said, gazing at the soldiers in front of us.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to bring the mood down. I just don't know how to feel with this army in front of us. I was more used to the Ylissian military." I explained.
"Didn't you live in Ferox for a fortnight or two?" Virion asked, bemused and I snorted.
"There is no excuse for me to not be used to this anymore, huh?" I remarked.
"There shouldn't be," Virion said with a lop-sided grin.
We continued our march with little fanfare, as we were just happy about the fact that we reached our destination, granting us the freedom to relax a little without being on a constant lookout.
The army stopped marching after we regrouped with the Feroxi, and one giant tent was erected for the group meeting. I bid Virion farewell after reaching the army and moving to the front. Since Chrom will go and meet Flavia, Robin will be there as well, or at least she should.
It has been some time since I saw Flavia and if this reunion wouldn't be in the middle of a war, alcohol would flow through all of us like a river.
Walking past some of the Feroxi was uncomfortable, to say the least. I could spot a few familiar faces, all of which scowled or glared at me, making me sigh.
"Looks like things don't change much after a month or two," I thought, turning away from the looks I got.
I am not in the loop here. What did you do to make them this hostile towards you?
"Go to the back of my mind to find out then. I, in the meantime, will talk to Flavia," I thought. Soon enough I found myself in front of the giant tent that was the meeting place, and the entrance was guarded by Raimy unsurprisingly.
"Ah, Radko. Long time since we met." She greeted with a passive expression in comparison to the rest of the army.
"It sure has, Raimy," I said to her before looking at the entrance of the tent.
"They are inside, I would assume?" I asked her and she nodded.
"Yes, and everyone is prohibited to go inside," I was about to ask a question before Raimy stopped me "Even you.".
"Well damn," I said while trying to think of a way inside, but I gave up on that rather quickly. They were doing important stuff there.
"Do you mind if I stick around as another guard?" I asked Raimy, who just looked at me with a neutral expression.
"Do as you wish," Was her answer.
That was all I needed to hear. I brandished my spear and struck a similar pose to Raimy and patiently waited for them to finish. But of course, not even something as boring as guard duty couldn't be without an incident or two. Because amongst the crowd of walking Feroxi, one stood out like a sore thumb.
That woman from the colosseum was half walking, half running towards me with a snarl that could rival an enraged wolf.
"You! What do you think you're doing showing yourself here!?" She seethed, making me grow a serious expression.
"I am with the Shepherds, lady. Now, be quiet. We do not want to disturb the people behind this entrance," I said with a leveled tone, but that just made her angrier.
"As if I care what those people do! You're in for a beating for what you did back at the colosseum!" She brandished her sword, leveling the tip of her sword at me. God, how I wished my other me wasn't frolicking in my mind now.
"This will be annoying to deal with," I thought unenthusiastically.
"Go back to your post immediately, soldier! Trying to disturb the khans will-." I stopped Raimy with a hand motion.
"It's alright, Raimy. I will deal with this," I said to her, getting ready to fight this chick again.
"You still bear a grudge against me? I thought you would be over it by now." I spoke while idly touching my tome, hiding my arm from her view. The Feroxi around us created a small circle, some were looking expectant as if they were ready to see me get beaten to a pulp. Others were only curious as to what this little dispute was.
"A Feroxian wouldn't forget such humiliation! You made a mockery out of me and my pride, and you will pay for that!" She roared before charging straight at me. I had to resist the urge to sigh.
"I guess she forgot that I fight dirty," I thought exasperatedly.
Each step she made created a small footprint on the weak earth we were standing on. I focused on her stride until I created a small patch of ice with an ice shard the size of a pebble, easy to stumble over.
And just as I hoped, she stepped on the small rock of ice, stumbling forward within my range, and with a quick upward swipe, I hit her chin with the but of my spear with a loud thud. I heard a few cringy sounds from the crowd while the woman let go of her sword while falling on her back.
I went to her and leveled my spear at her throat while she only groaned in pain. I looked at the crowd, before looking back at the woman.
"Somebody get her to the infirmary, that probably is a dislocated jaw," I said to the crowd, but nobody moved to pick her up, making me groan.
"Fine, I'll do it myself then," I sheathed my spear before picking the woman up over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I asked for the nearest healer before plopping her down to get examined. Green light soon enveloped her and she woke up soon after.
I took that as my cue to leave, but the woman stopped me.
"You fight without honor," She accused me with a weak voice, making me look back at her. Her lower jaw seemed to be fixed at least.
"Did it take you this long to figure that out?" I asked her, no trace of sarcasm in my voice.
"How can you live with yourself when you fight so dirty?" She asked me, her anger still etched in her voice.
"I never believed in honor or righteousness. They aren't a mindset meant for me. My goal is to win, and how I get there is a different matter." I said soberly before leaving the woman to get fully healed.
Reaching the command tent again took little time, and I soon stood a familiar pose I had just a few moments ago alongside Raimy.
"You realize that these people will only hate you more if you pull off fights like that, right?" She asked me and I nodded.
"Since the Feroxian philosophy doesn't strike a chord with mine, I might as well accept the fact that they will hate me no matter what I do that isn't against my nature," I said to Raimy, before hiding my face in my palm, a weak groan escaping my lips.
"I see your Valmese side is showing up," Said Raimy, making me turn to her with a bewildered look. Why the hell would she say that?
"Excuse you?"
"You heard me well enough, Radko. Now, keep your guard. A scout should come soon eno-." The aforementioned scout soon arrived, breathing heavily. He looked up through his hood to see Raimy beckoning him inside the tent.
He disappeared in the tent while I waited with bated breath, perking up my ears to hear the conversation inside only to hear the scout say the words I dreaded to hear since we left the capital.
"Ylisstol has fallen."
AN: I have nothing to say about this chapter other than it was kind of a bitch to write in the end, but I pulled through anyway. Excuse me for the late update, but this chapter just didn't want to get finished.
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Anyway, hope you like this Sunday's chapter and hope to see you in the next.