I Love Her, I Hate Her
Dani Wheeler-Kaiba
EN: gasp! I can't believe that a fifth chapter for this actually exists! How long will it be? Even I, the all-powered authoress have no clue…
Thank you too all reviewers so far – Yingfa Dreamer, Xbakiyalo, J.E.A.R.K. Potter, BlondeGinny05, and wannabe-hermione (I'M SO SORRY IF I MISSED ANYONE) – because if there were no reviews, there would be no more inspiration for another chapter.
The usual disclaimer, you know how that goes…
Three days. I was without this diary for THREE DAYS! Who knows how much Black could have read in that time…because I know it was him who stole it. He didn't exactly try to keep it secret, did he? On the back page, he left a review saying how much he liked reading it. Ha ha. I hate him so much.
But at least I don't have to write on a piece of dirty old parchment again. Anyone could just pick up a piece of parchment and throw it out – or worse, read it.
People are so nosy. One look at parchment like that – like this, I should say, since I'm holding it in my hand – and they just have to know what it says. I'm not like that. I wouldn't take a second glance at some old paper lying around. This parchment that I used as a temporary diary could have secret plans for world domination written on the back and I wouldn't have looked. Not that it has anything written on the back. I didn't look, of course, but I'm certain all the same.
Well…maybe I should take a quick peek, just in case. But nothing's going to be written there. Someone was just doing their homework in the Common Room and dropped a bit of spare parchment. As if I'll find – oh!
No way! No way! There is something on the back! I wrote on somebody else's paper! And if I give it back to them, they'll see my diary entry! But if I don't give it back, some poor person will get a zero in an assignment, and they're probably horrified that it's missing. Oh no, oh no, what am I supposed to do?
Maybe I should read it, and copy it somewhere else for the owner. That would be the best thing to do. Except then I'd have to read it, and they might think I was copying their work! But I'd have to read it anyway, to find out who it belonged to…I'm trapped here! It's either read it or read it! But everyone will think I'm an awful snoop...
It sickens me, but I guess I don't have much choice. I'll have to read it.
…
Funny. This doesn't look like an assignment. As a matter of fact, it is definitely not an assignment. I've only read the first sentence, so I could be wrong, but to me this seems more like a diary entry.
I mean, how many essays start with the words, "I can't even bare to say her six syllables any more,"?
So I have my diary entry on the back of somebody else's diary entry. And now I am reading that person's diary entry. I've never felt like such a snoop in my life! What do I do now? I can't read it, obviously, but I can't keep it either! Whoever's diary this is out of is probably freaking out, just like I freaked out when I lost mine! But I can't give it back, because then they'll have my diary entry on the back…and I couldn't give it back anyway because I don't know whose it is…what can I possibly do?
I can think of one solution, but it's a really really bad one. It would involve reading enough of the parchment to know who it belongs to, and then discussing the problem with them.
It's a terrible idea, but what else can I do?
…
Oh, merlin. I'm three sentences in and I know who owns it.
Potter.
Bloody Potter. Of course something of his would cause me such a problem. Although when you think about it, it's kind of funny. Potter keeping a diary.
Now, if the parchment belonged to anyone else, anyone else in the world, I would have no qualms about this – normally I would never do such a thing – but would it be so terrible of me to read on? I mean, it's only Potter, after all…I won't read much, just a quick peek…
Ugh. It mentions me.
Although not quite in the way I would have expected…
As a matter of fact, it's not very nice about me at all. But I thought – I could've sworn…
He says he hates me.
Clearly, just like that. Things like, "What isn't there to hate about her?" And then it goes on listing my faults. I had no idea he didn't like me, much less that he hates me. I mean, the only reason I hate him is because he pretends to be totally in love with me all the time…wait – one day last week he was being nastier than usual, not acting like he liked me for once. Was that how he really feels? And everything else is just an act?
I don't want to keep reading this. I'm not going to finish it. I'm putting it in my bag and first thing tomorrow I'll throw it away. I don't care that it has two diary entries on it, if it's that hurtful then I don't want it anywhere near me.
Why does it affect me so much? I mean, it's just Potter…and I hate him, so why would I care if he hates me too? And I know that some of the other girls in my year hate me, so being hated shouldn't bother me at all…but for some reason I'm really really hurt by this.
I don't understand it.
He hates me…
…no, Lily, no! Keep reading the diary entry and you'll know the truth! Noooo…why, oh why did she stop reading it? Oh, right, I wrote it that way…but I had to, it's vital for the newly created plot!